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If you can't see me as who I am, then why bother? (NC-17) Print

Written by Laivindur

22 April 2012 | 74699 words | Work in Progress

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Chapter 3

Nightfall was beckoning in Minas Tirith. Boromir had been pacing almost the entire city to calm himself all day, barely eating. Some got worried for him and thought he should get some rest and at least have one of the meals, but then again everyone knew the wild warrior could go on for days with only a bottle of water and less sleep, with the down side that he got tremendously bad tempered for the lack of meat, and no one dared to face him at that state. They left him pondering. When Boromir had done the same thing years earlier to calm himself after Faramir had done such an impact on him, for earlier mentioned reasons, a young servant boy had faced him for a simple question. Moments later the servants had seen the boy running away screaming for nana.

The brothers never spoke of war, because Faramir rarely did, and Boromir had taken his brother for not enjoying the subject. The older brother didn’t doubt his brother’s capacity; it was just that he loved him too much. Poor Boromir had no one to tell about his toil but to his mother’s grave. He’d been 19 at the first time standing before the stone in the beautiful garden, asking for advice about his brother. Earlier the subjects had been about his father, war, girls and other personal subjects. But it wasn’t until his 21th summer when he would tell his mother of an incident and revealed to her his inner thoughts about his brother with mixed emotions of relief and shame.

Flashback ~

Faramir ran through the yellow high growing grass with a huge grin on his face just like whenever he’d pull pranks on his brother and the screaming laughs in between would be propped with thrilling fear. He loved to test his bravery by doing pranks on his elder brother. With Boromir closing in, Faramir hoped that he’d reach for the waters before getting caught. You would think that Faramir would be faster than his brother taking their bodyweight in mind; with Faramir at an age of 16, still slender and light, and Boromir at 21, strong and heavy.

To both foe and friends’ surprise, Boromir was quite fast, and being in training far longer than Faramir he did run the slight faster. Faramir had not yet opened his gift as a swift runner, and after a couple of hundred meters run, his pace through the tall grass started to slow down. Their guards had called for them to wait after the first hundred meters, but the playful brothers had already lost their thoughts for anyone else but themselves.

They had been traveling for a while down the river near Ithilien to find a soothing place to swim when the youngest lord had spotted something in the grass which he’d read about some while ago, and couldn’t help himself. Boromir was persistent to get revenge from the itchy plant his little brother had been placing in his shirt. Fright and panic rumbled in Faramir’s body, but the heart screamed with joy. He loved it when this mighty warrior that his brother was, hunted him as badly as if it was some other prey.

Boromir’s fast and determined movements through the grass gained on his little one, and the guards laughed while they rode after them. Faramir could see the opening in the grass. He jumped out of the tall grass just when a swift wind blew it to bend. Ten feet of open field before a small forest, and then he would be in their sanctuary, the water. Five feet away from the entrance of the forest Faramir took a glance behind to see if he was to make it through the forest at all before getting caught, and jumped when Boromir came shooting out of it in such a pace that he seemed like an eagle diving for its prey.

Faramir knew he was never going to make it and fell into the soft grass when his legs succumbed to the fear, but as he rolled onto his back to face his attacker, he laughed with excitement. Boromir met him shortly after and was already over him when he turned with a giggle. When Faramir started to laugh hysterically at his older brother, he didn’t know what to do.

He smiled and observed his brother who did it fine torturing himself. Boromir scratched his shoulders and back after the orbs had given their effect on his skin, and watched his brother with eyes of revenging conspiracy. Faramir laughed even more when Boromir did nothing but to straddle him to keep him down and scratching himself on both shoulders.
When Boromir stopped the scratching, he waited and waited for his brother to finish his hysteria, but he didn’t; he laughed so hard tears were running from his eyes. With the boy having a hard time breathing, Boromir shook his head at his stupid little brother while scratching once in a while.

After some time, Faramir’s laughter calmed down and he gazed into the sky giggling occasionally. When he finally sighed in fatigue Boromir spoke “I don’t think you’ll live through another laugh little brother.”

Faramir chuckled as they both rose. Boromir could still see some mischief in the rascal, and squinted at him as he gave him a foxy smile. Faramir looked like he was going to burst, and had to restrain himself to speak “You should thank me brother, for now you know which plant you should stay away from!” With this Faramir ran for the river through the forest just like before. Boromir scratched himself on his tormenting back before he quickened up the pace after his brother.

The guards had just gotten through the grass, and kept that distant to give the brothers space. They shook their heads with a smile and stood guard with two of them riding to the left and right to check the area, another two stayed. It was a small creek with glittering water from the sun, and soft sand which ended in the area of grass. The soft green grass made a nice slope to finally melt into the forest.

The wind, created by his pace through the forest, played with Faramir’s hair as he jumped and ran through the forest. The creek had not been visited by anyone other than animals and the two brothers once in a while. Faramir’s footsteps made marks as he reached the sand. Seeing his little brother closing in to the water he cried out “Faramir, halt!” Instinctively following his elder brother’s seemingly serious order, he almost fell right into the tempting water as he made a stumbling stop, and with the sand cloud still twirling around his feet he gazed around the area. Was there danger?

Faramir’s wary eyes looked to the right where a huge rock hid the view, nothing. As he was turning to the left he saw only Boromir who had caught up with him and was panting as Faramir spoke to his worried brother.
“What do you mean stop? What’s wrong?” The truth to be told, Boromir didn’t like Faramir diving into something without him checking it out for danger, but he was going to hide it with his revenge. After he checked the area and regained his breath he gave Faramir a smug smile
“Time for revenge.” Faramir’s eyes widened and he yelped as he had no time before Boromir grabbed him and tossed him in the water. Along with his little brother’s weight and clenching, Boromir also fell in. The sun made tiny rainbows by the water and drops which fled up in the air when it got replaced by the brothers’ bodies in the soft river. They both waved in the water for a while before they broke to the surface and regained balance to stand gasping like two drowned cats. They looked at each other as the water caressed their bodies and clothes.

The drops running down their face and neck disappeared in the wool of their shirt which hung heavy on their chest. Faramir smiled. Boromir followed, but not sure what exactly they smiled at. He quarreled with his feelings; his body burned by the sight of his brother. “Now we’re even, brother” Faramir said still gasping for air as the water calmed the pace down his body. At the confused look Boromir gave his panting little one, he added
“Fresh water and blueberry stops the itching.” The older brother sighed and shook his head while the unsure smile forged into a relived one. He faced down to the water and puffed before he turned so the still water curled around his leg, and he walked to land with his feelings still burning for his wet and sexy brother.

Faramir followed. As Boromir reached land, he perceived from the corner of his eye that his brother was undressing while wading to shore. The heir wished himself back into the water, but stood still watching his little one put passion in his every move, as he always did. Faramir had taken off his jacket and tossed it on a boulder to pull off his shirt as he closed in to a tree.
When he hung his jacket and shirt on a branch with an annoyingly focused expression, Boromir felt a tingle blush ‘Damn it!’ He turned fast and hoped his rushing blood would disappear. He walked towards the giant rock in opposite direction of his annoyingly lovely brother.

“Take of your shirt while I go find some berries.” Faramir called and went into the forest after a quick glance at his wet and depressed brother.

Boromir did so and slammed his cloth onto the rock. Lucky for him they had stopped undressing entirely many years ago, but he was still afraid Faramir would notice his feelings if his weakest spot would decide to crave attention. He suddenly felt too grown to be playing in the water, and wanted to go home.

While searching for the berries, Faramir had to shake the image out of his mind as his eyes still showed him the sight of the broad back against the wet and heavy summer shirt. He frowned at his reaction of wanting to embrace his brother at that moment, but let the thought go as his attention went to the forest. It was easier for Faramir to go on as usual as he did not have the same explicit thoughts as Boromir.

Boromir sat down by a rock nearby the water, took of his boots and tossed them angrily at the rock. He stared into the water and tried not to think of anything. He splashed his feet in the water and smiled a little as he felt better. A sudden urge to scratch his shoulders made him jump and do what his skin craved.

“Don’t scratch it”
Faramir had come out of the forest with his hands so full of blueberry he dropped some on his way and smiled at it while trying not to drop any more.

Poor Boromir still shamed himself for his wishes and turned away as Faramir continued.
“You’ll press the dust deeper into your skin. The water only calms the aggression for a while. Here, this will stop it”
A cold liquid was pressed against Boromir’s shoulders, and Faramir started to massage both shoulders and neck with eyes focused and mouth curved in a tiny smile now and then, while Boromir had closed his eyes and enjoyed it quite much.

At this time Boromir had short hair, so it went on easy without a mess. He had kept the fringe though, and now it hung half dried before his relaxed face.

Faramir’s hands felt fantastic; the older brother loved the way they filled him with pleasure and ease. It was rather maddening when he thought more about it, and tried to focus on something else. He looked at the twinkling water and smiled at the memory which emerged in the sun.

A tiny Faramir at seven stood in the water up to his tummy wearing only his underwear, and tightened his body like he was about to jump. With his eyes closed, mouth clenched, and his body still as tight as steel he subverted into the water.

‘Faramir!‘ A twelve year old Boromir shouted his name in fear from the shore. This was a time where the guards had just started to let the boys be by themselves for some time, and stood guard as they did that day on the other side of the forest. A splashing little Faramir had been pulled up by Boromir and dragged to shore ‘What in God’s name do you think you are doing?!’
Boromir had shouted to the panicking little boy, and with the reddish golden curls still dripping and his grey eyes in terror he sobbed and coughed ‘I just thought… since the guards were gone I could finally learn how to swim’.

Boromir thought it strange how Faramir had grown. With his eyes still in the water he spoke ”Remember when I taught you how to swim?” A bubbling chuckle left Faramir’s lungs “Yes, you were quite the teacher.” Boromir grimaced “A lousy one.” followed by a deep chuckle. “Do you say I’m a bad swimmer?”

Faramir placed his hands on his hips and raised the light brown brows. Boromir turned still sitting on the stone and looked up at Faramir “No, I…” Seeing Faramir’s grin he waved his hand and turned back to stare at the water; he wasn’t in the mood for jokes.

“I miss the old days; it felt so easy back then” He thought of the innocent love he once had for his brother, and got ashamed of himself
”Now there are so many things to do and think about. Not to mention the stupid feelings.”

Faramir never thought his brother would have problems growing up; he’d done perfectly, and the talk of feelings was not like Boromir. After a quiet break where Faramir had working on Boromir’s shoulders, he spoke gently “How do you feel?”

Boromir swallowed and felt his heart beat “It’s just that, not only has my mind and body gotten bigger, my emotions too. Like, I mean. With you”
Faramir cut him off sensing the subject got to places he’d rather avoid
“I meant your shoulders. How do you feel? Do they scratch?” Boromir blushed and prayed to the Valars that Faramir wouldn’t notice

“Oh, no they don’t. Thank you.” After his chin had lowered in temperature he turned on the stone, for Faramir had walked away.

He’d felt his heart beat, but didn’t quite understand what his elder brother was saying, and it nagged his mind. Maybe he didn’t want to understand? He hoped the burning in his cheeks would vanish, and thought about what Boromir had just said while washing his hands in the water. Boromir stood up and walked slowly to his retiring brother. They had both forgotten their purpose of the trip. With Faramir just standing there with his back at the approaching young man and his dark brown tights still wet, he waited for the older brother to speak. He was about to as he had placed himself beside his younger brother, but noticed blueberry on Faramir’s slim hips and tummy.

He pictured himself fall to his knees and grab him by the buttocks and thighs to lick and suck on the skin where the sweet berries had been greased. He could imagine Faramir jerk his head backwards in pleasure and ecstasy. After he’d lick the berries off he’d push Faramir onto to the grass and kiss his soft lips and then he’d…As Boromir had stared at the dark purple grease, Faramir looked down to what it could be, and when he noticed, he grimaced and tried to wipe it away. It didn’t go off easily so he turned around to wash it off in the river.

Boromir saw a way out of this awkward situation and took it.

He pushed Faramir into the water with his foot on his butt, and Boromir’s laughter followed after the big splash. Faramir stumbled in the water after cutting the surface. He stared at his hysterically laughing brother with a huffy face dripping with water “I thought we were even!” Faramir yelled, but Boromir only laughed and said

“I just wanted to help you wash off.”~

The late evening Boromir met Théodred outside the citadel, ready to head off. The Rohirrim and Gondorians were standing in position with torches to light up their way. Fires and torches were light up in the streets and buildings to give a cozy and safe appearance, and though the sight of soldiers standing ready to leave for battle wasn’t exactly charming, it filled the men with cohesion and strength.

Amaze, pride and thrill circulated through the soldiers as they witnessed Boromir walking towards them in his mighty armor, but Théodred had started staring at something behind him after giving him a short nod of approval. It was something that sure made him happy and determined, and Boromir’s curiosity made him turn his head still walking with his horse at his side. When he saw Faramir and his troop walk proud and firm, he stumbled and stopped in front of Théodred.

“You have to leave your clumsiness behind Boromir.” he gave the laughing Théodred a false one back before attacking his hear with his palm. The prince ducked away with a small giggle before his hair got too messed up, but when he saw Boromir take a quick glance at Faramir, to turn back again with a worry on his face, he spoke warmly “Don’t worry, dear friend. Faramir knows how to engage in battle. Besides, you were only 19 entering battle.” “Yes, but Faramir is different”
Théodred raised his eyebrows and gave Boromir a bad conscious with his ‘oh-really’- expression “I mean he…he is too kind and he’s…”

Seeing Théodred’s not convinced expression he kept on “Remember the incident with the cat?” Théodred was quite like his father when speaking
“You don’t have to be a bad warrior just because you inherit the respect for any living creatures. Now stop this nonsense and trust your brother. And me, as you once did.”
Leaving Boromir with another bad conscious and quarrel with himself, king Théoden showed up on a white and gracious horse.

The strong horse nodded proudly with its King and Rohirrim blanket covering its back. Golden patterns were set on both armor and the green fabric. Not only his royalty shone, but also its strength in the movements.
Boromir remembered when he’d been given one of their horses as a gift, one as strong and wild as himself. The king spoke “Where’s your father, Denethor? I haven’t seen him. Does he even know we’re here?”

Boromir tried to act as normal as he could. “Uh, he does this sometimes. He just disappears into the towers reading parchments and thinks. I think.” The king cocked one of his eyebrows and stared at the nervous Boromir for a while before Faramir appeared.
The heir got startled by the sudden appearance; he stood close to his bigger brother with his hands behind his back, and his illegible face was frustrating for Boromir.
Boromir wanted to grab his little one, carry him all the way in to his chamber, maybe give him a kiss but that was not the point right now, lock the door and let him stay there forever for only his to be.

Boromir smacked himself inwards and remembered how proud he’d been of Faramir earlier, and put himself together to a cheerful and supporting manner
“You ready, brother?” Faramir smiled, not sure if he was hearing right. Boromir didn’t know if he could hold on much longer this incoherent cheering. “Let’s go!” He said while tapping his brother on the back, and trotted to his horse and troop.

As Théodred climbed his giant horse next to his father, he gave Faramir a convincing blink before he rode to the front along with the king. Faramir smiled and felt stronger. He turned quickly to his men and reminded them of the plans and orders before they all nodded in silence. They did almost everything in silence.

Soon they’d be seen riding among the others on their way to battle.
Faramir had been riding with the rohirrim before and felt secure with them. He was thrilled to convince his brother what he could do, and was so determined that his nervousness did not spring forth. He was glad to ride with the rohirrim again, and excited to lead his men once more.

NB: Please do not distribute (by any means, including email) or repost this story (including translations) without the author's prior permission. [ more ]

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4 Comment(s)

Why no comments yet, I wonder. This is a wonderfully complex story with equal measures of drama, emotion, and humour. Especially liked Denethor’s memories of Boromir teasing Faramir through the years. Hope you’ll continue. Cheers!

— LN Tora    Wednesday 14 March 2012, 20:59    #

Yey, thank you! I will continue :) So tune up for more ^^

— Laivindur    Thursday 15 March 2012, 21:44    #

Oh…my…gosh… this story is amazing! I read it straight through, beginning with chapter one and halting at chapter fifteen. I look forward so much to your next update! This is very well written, and though there are a few grammatical errors here and there, it is nothing that distracts from the story.

Waiting in anticipation…

An Avid Reader.

— AvidReader    Saturday 28 April 2012, 5:49    #

Oooh, thank you so much for that encouraging comment :D I’m glad you don’t feel the grammar destroys your story experience, pewh!
I am actually going through it over again to correct and add :)
Thank yuo so much! Much appreciated!!

— Laivindur    Monday 30 April 2012, 15:57    #

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