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Tales from a Cat's Eye View (PG) Print

Written by Susana

03 September 2011 | 6650 words

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Title: Ouch!
Author: Susana
Series: Desperate Hours, Tales from a Cat’s Eye View, 2
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Rating: PG
Warning: AU; mostly playful spanking
Disclaimer: All recognizable elements are Tolkien’s

Summary: Boromir normally doesn’t mind Faramir’s pets, but this one kitten is getting on his nerves.

Beta: None, all mistakes are mine.

A/N: Faramir is about 17 or 18 in this story.



The golden haired one had once again put on the scent that made him irresistible. She crouched down, tail lashing. He hadn’t seen her yet; her moment would yet come. Wait, wait, Mother Trouble had said. This kitten knew how to be patient.

One boot thumped to the ground… then another… the moment was hers! She charged.

Ouch!“ The youth with the sunshine hair cried out, then “Fara, that accursed kitten of your accursed cat just got my ankles again!

Trouble’s boy, also still stripping off clothes that smelled fascinating, appeared in the doorway, an amused expression on his handsome face. “Aww, poor Brom.” He teased his older brother, adopting a lilting tone that was quite different from the normal, deep, soothing tones he used with Trouble, and her kittens. “I didn’t realize that the big, bold, brave Captain of Gondor was afraid of a little kitty.”

The sunshine hair lunged suddenly across the room, in a quick, cat-like motion that Trouble would have praised. He seized his red haired brother around the waist, and flopped them both on top of the bed under which the kitten lurked. “Oh baby brother, I am not afraid,” The golden haired one said, smacking the bottom of his slighter red-haired brother, who was still struggling not to laugh, “but I should not have to worry over my ankles getting clawed in my own room!”

“Ouch!” The red haired boy cried, wriggling under his brother’s half-playful swats, “I’m sorry… haha… I’m sorry, Brom. Um, if you haha… Ow!… wash your ankles, most of your trouble with the kitten should go away.”

The golden haired boy stopped, and sat back, still holding his brother down. “I wash my ankles everyday, idiot. Why do I need to do so again?”

Trouble’s boy looked up from his prone position with a half-apologetic grin. “Promise you’ll let me up, or I won’t tell you, and the itty bitty kitten will keep preying upon your oh-so-manly ankles.”

“Faramir…” The golden haired boy said warningly.

“Ok, ok, someone may have put fish oil inside your boots.” The red-haired boy said, half laughing, half worried.

Sunshine hair sat back on his heels. “Fish oil… in my boots.” He said wonderingly. “That’s… just odd enough to be true, with your lot.” All of a sudden the golden haired youth lunged forward again, this time running light fingers over his brother’s exposed ribs and feet.

“Please…hahahaha… stop… haha… stoooppp… hahaha… .Brooomm… “ Trouble’s boy laughed helplessly.

“Oh, I don’t think so, Faramir.” The golden-haired boy teased, “I’m going to tickle you until you tell me whose idea this was, or agree to take that…beast, with you, next week.”

“A… hahahaha… kitten in… haha, please… haha… mercy, Brom!” The youth called Faramir cried out as he tried to get away from his brother’s tickling fingers.

“Yes, a kitten in Henneth Annûn. Maybe you and your irregulars can drop fish oil on the orcs, or into the boots of the Haradrim, and use this demonic beast’s gifts for the good of Gondor.” The youth called “Brom” said, chuckling.

The kitten cocked her head. One of the delicious smelling ankles was again in her reach… she pounced.

“OUCH!” Boromir cried again, moving his leg so quickly that the kitten went flying, only to be caught by Faramir.

“Don’t worry, Ouch.” Faramir soothed the somewhat alarmed kitten, “You’ll love Henneth Annûn. There are plenty of fish.”

Ouch purred. She was the first of her litter to be Named. And Ouch thought she would like to travel, and go with Trouble’s boy, to the away place, which might have exotic, good, smells.

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The following people read the story, enjoyed it, and would like to thank the author: Minkicat , Minkicat , Aneyrin , TrollCookie

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1 Comment(s)

NB: Comments span all chapters and may contain spoilers!

Thank you for such a lovely story! I love cats (and Faramir, of course) so the combination is terrific.

— Moni    12 September 2011, 10:49    #

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