Faramir Fiction Archive

Be blessed (PG-13)

Written by Anastasiya

19 June 2010 | 4329 words

Part Two

Through habit he woke up early and at once his eyes met his brother’s. How long was he sitting so, watching him?

“Good morning, little one,” Boromir said quietly and smiled. “How are you filling?”

“More better, thank you.” Faramir answered after he mastered stupor. For the first time in his life he feared talking with his brother and his anxiety appeared not groundless for Boromir suddenly said, “Faramir, I… I have to tell you something. I know I never must say you it and even feel but..”

“Boromir!” Faramir burst in on him, “Boromir, there is no need to say anything you don’t want..”

“No, I want! Even if you scorn me by my last day, I must tell it to you. Please, listen to me!” In his voice was heard such entreaty that Faramir couldn’t refuse. “Faramir, I do not know what happens with me or how long but your yesterday’s condition suddenly opened my eyes. Many years I treat you as my brother, you know..”

“We are the brothers, Boromir.”

“But yesterday when you tossed in a delirious, I became aware how frail our life is. How in one moment everything could turn over and one terrible day I could lose you, never see you again, never embrace you. And when you whispered..”

“Boromir, but now all is fine again,” Faramir tried to stop delicate topic but Boromir gave no attention. “You whispered ‘Kiss me’ I couldn’t keep my feelings. Believe me, I would never do it, if you by yourself..”

“Boromir, I would never scorn you. My admiration and affection for you are too strong to overcome it. But you said yourself you have never had to say it and even feel, but we not always possess our feelings. So…”

“You have not listened to me to the end, Faramir..”

“I know what you are talking about, brother. But listen to me too. We can’t break the laws. If we will do it, what would be in world? We are the sons of Steward, we have too many duties on our shoulders to do it. I will always love you but there is no place to anything more. You have to understand it.”

“I understand,” Boromir whispered as he hung his head. “One moment I thought that my feelings are reciprocated so I brought myself to tell you.”

“You made mistake.”

“You are cruel, Faramir.”

“Not at all. I simply understand too well what burden is lying on your shoulders as an heir of Steward.”

“Yes,” Boromir agreed again and stood up. “I also wanted to tell you that I have to return to Minas Tirith. Father was not content me to go here, so I must go.”

“Already?” Faramir could not help but ask with disappointment and Boromir felt it right away.

“Yes,” he said easily. “May I kiss you at parting?”

“Of course, you always do it.” Faramir smiled weakly, expecting one brother’s kiss they shared for many years. But instead of light kiss on cheek his lips were possessed by exacting mouth and he shuddered as he eagerly responded to the kiss. But as only he became aware of it, he pushed Boromir away again.

“Never, never do it again, Boromir!”

“Why not, Faramir? You want it as much as I do!”

“No! No, I do not want it!” Faramir said emphatically. “Why do you not want to understand that you desire the impossible? Even if I wished it, we would not have right to do it.”

“What say in you now, Faramir?” Boromir cried out in irritation. “I do not recognize you! What convictions are guided by you in this matter that you don’t want to admit the obvious?”

“There are the limits we can’t overcome, Boromir. We are brothers! There are not to be other feelings between us.”

“Why do you lie to yourself? These feelings exist and you cannot convince me of the opposite. Not because of their absent you asked me to kiss you yesterday!”

“I didn’t!”

“You did! You said ‘Boromir, I love you. Kiss me.’”

“Are you only Boromir in Gondor?” – Faramir answered sharply and regretted about his words then Boromir shrank back from him.

“You are cruel, Faramir.” He said in a frost voice.

“Boromir, I wanted not..”

“Wanted or not, you said it and it’s enough. Farewell, brother. I hope your shoulder get better soon.” And he slammed the door behind himself.

Faramir powerlessly pressed his back to cold wall and closed his eyes. It became empty and lonely within him and he could not forget the pain that appeared in his brother’s eyes after his words. He pressed his fingers to his temples trying to keep mad blows and unasked thoughts. ‘No, it’s not truth, it can’t be truth,’ He thought. ‘How could it happen that the only dear to me person could become so distant? How could it happen?’ But it happened. And it was his fault.

He clenched his teeth from pain and said quietly, “I couldn’t do differently. One day I swore you not to break your laws and I’ll keep my words in any case.”

Many years ago

Years quickly changed one another reminding of fleetingness of people’s life. Right on time they counted out gifted time and Faramir with heavy heart returned to Minas Tirith again. White walls proudly towered over boundless expanse as always, however their beauty inspired him no admire. This city forever became refuge of cold and scorn for him and warm love of someone beloved didn’t destroy that sorcery already for a very long time.

Many times passed after that day in Henneth Annûn but the cold, penetrating him that time, never was broken up. Like high walls that defended him from all blows, he built around himself and no one was able to destroy it. He tried to convince himself of rightness of his actions too long not to learn that any feeling can cause the pain. Boromir had never endeavored to speak of it again and former brother’s affection and warmth was suddenly replaced by long years of estrangement and dislike and none of them tried to stop it. Faramir feared his feelings too much to allow them go and life, it seemed, acknowledged his rightness, for never again he was seriously wounded or ill and love of his people seemed to be blessing from above.

Ithilien became his home and those infrequent events that obliged him to return to white city weighed him on. In those distant years Minas Tirith still was the center of all high life and his brother shined on balls presenting the object for longing of all woman’s half. And Faramir tried not to pay attention on it saying it was right and Boromir had to find wife at last, to bring heirs into the world but all of it continued injuring him. And Valars coldly watched his torments. Always blessed, but never happy.

But now he was returning not to the ball but to military council and it made him breathe heavily. Situation for Gondor became hot and even the balls seemed to be remote past now.

He tiredly dismounted from his horse and headed to the citadel. Father was sitting on his throne circled by councilors and captains and Faramir slightly bowed his head in greeting not to distract then from discussion. Boromir was actively proving something to Denethor and Faramir found himself staring at him fascinating, when Boromir suddenly turned as if he felt his gaze. But just short nod became greeting to him and Faramir felt extremely unhappy and tired. But the council lasted to late night and when it all finished at last he was ready to drop.

He headed for his chambers when direct moon ray attracted him. He took only several steps along covering by moonlight gallery when came upon lustfully kissing pair. They sharply tore their embrace and paying no attention on them Faramir was ready to go further when known voice made him freeze.

“Faramir?”

He slowly turned around and looked at Boromir. Then he moved his eyes to the beautiful young man that pressed himself to wall in dismay. Bright moonlight did not hide his swelled from the kiss lips and undone tunic and Faramir felt as wall of nonchalant began destroying around him. Despair and deadly fatigue took possess on him suddenly and he swiftly moved away.

He didn’t know where he was going and didn’t think of it. He simply passed through gallery until fresh night air touched him. Crickets joyfully rattled all around but he heard them not. His soul craved just for one place where he could find peace.

World froze around him and he fell on his knees pressing his forehead to cold stone foot.

“Why do you do it to me?” He implored huskily as his throat squeezed with sobs. “Why? Have I brought no enough sacrifices on altar of your belief that you’re so cruel to me?”

And warm arms embraced him and raised him up. He powerlessly pressed to strong chest looking for solace and warm searching lips slipped along his neck. Embrace became stronger and Faramir tried to say anything but desperate entreaty forced him keep silence.

“Please, let me do it,” Boromir whispered into his ear as he pressed Faramir to himself more firmly. “Please. I know all you want to tell me…”

“I do not.” Faramir responded with sob.

“Please. So many years, Faramir, so many torments…”

“Yes.”

And Boromir turned him around pressing his lips to long-desired mouth.

And everything turned over.

Where were now long years of cold and indifference, emptiness and estrangement? All stayed far behind. Touch of lips was like gulp of air, hot palms on bare chest – like promise of the greatest happiness on earth. And the fair wavy hair of the accidental lover was forever forgotten with the kiss of the most beloved man in a world.

NB: Please do not distribute (by any means, including email) or repost this story (including translations) without the author's prior permission. [ more ]

Enjoyed this story? Then be sure to let the author know by posting a comment at https://www.faramirfiction.com/fiction/be-blessed. Positive feedback is what keeps authors writing more stories!