Faramir Fiction Archive

Accidental Happiness archived in seven not so simple steps (NC-17)

Written by Suryallee

12 January 2012 | 17291 words

Step Four: Do not let elves take over your life and confuse you endlessly, or you will end up in situations that you never wanted to end up in…

“Ah Hah! Here he has been hiding out on us…look Amras, I found our elusive friend!” Faramir woke to the cheery voice of one of the twin sons of Feanor from his fitfully slumber. “Watch your volume you insensitive Ork! Can’t you see that he is… never mind, now he is awake…” The second twin walked into the sight of the still half-asleep man and the little ones in the bed. Sitting up, Faramir clutched his blanked to him like a child and rubbed his eyes; meanwhile his son just took the other edge of the blanked and threw it over his little head to drown the loud elves out.

Both elves cooed at the uniquely cute sight Faramir unknowingly presented to them before one was suddenly roughly yanked out of the sight of the surprised Faramir before the same arm as before took hold on collar of the other distracted twin and removed him from sight too.

Through the thick shawls that hung from the wooden ring that held them under the ceiling to protect the sleepers in the bed from cold winds and such, the voice of the eldest of the brothers could be heard. He was reprimanding his idiotic brothers, as he called them, for waking the human up that rudely.

Together with that of another male who sounded rather stern and somewhat vexed from the behavior of the two. To judge from the tune and choice of the finely chosen words that he used. When both twins called him father in their haste to apologize, Faramir had to gulp.

He had a sudden inkling who just stood a few meters away from his bed at best.

Refusing to feel intimidated he simply left the bed on the other side and walked into the bath chamber next to his sleeping room and closed the door… only to slide down along it rather inelegantly after closing it in his try to avoid to simply fall down. Since his knees had suddenly failed to support him in his shock.

Behind the door, he could hear them quarrel on for a moment before the sudden, “Where has he gone to?” from Amrod stopped it. A soft knock on the door brought Faramir back out of his slight stunned state again.

“Faramir? Are you in there?” It was the concerned voice of Maedhros who asked Faramir this from the other side of the door. Nodding the poor man realized that the elf could not see him just in time. “Yes… I think. I have to clean up. Could you please come back later?” The elf seems to get it right because he almost immediately agreed. “Of course! I apologize for my brothers, Faramir. They can be a little…overwhelming when no one is looking after them.” “No offence taken, it is just…” He trailed off, not certain what to say. “Don’t worry, I understand fully.” Was Maedhros replay and with that, Faramir could hear them leave the room, the two older elves most likely dragging the younger out with them, to choose from the sounds but Faramir did not mind them much. He was just glad that he was left alone for the now!

Rubbing his face the man stood on wobbly feet and went back into the room to get the little ones ready for the day.

When he finally entered the great hall for breakfast, he had to stop to take in the mess he had wrought unknowingly. The great hall looked like it was filled to the rim with elves of all nations and men of Gondor, Rohan, and Dwarfs too, right in the midst of the elves. All were more or less fighting for places to sit and food and it was unbecomingly loud in there. It was, in short words, an utter chaos and he simply took his three little ones out again to go to the kitchens instead to eat there.

There Aragorn caught up with him.

“Saw you take a look on my charming mess, didn’t you?” He told the man with good-natured humor. Both laughed loudly. “Yes. I thought it better for the three to eat here and found out that you send all the little ones here too.” He gave Aragorn an apology smile. “I really got you into troubles, don’t I?” The older man just shook his head.

“Naa, it is fine, really Faramir. We manage slowly. Legolas took already a few back with him to Ithilien and Celeborn did also take one a few. I fear you will have the honor to host some of Feanor’s sons and their former warriors there with Legolas and you until their problems are solved out. Is that ok with you?” He gave Faramir a questioning look. The man in question could only nod. “Sure it is. I have the least troubles with them I suppose.” The king shook his head again. “Actually Ada, err I mean my foster father wants to take Maglor and Maedhros and the two other eldest of them back with him to Rivendell.

To avoid further complications, as he called it.”

Faramir grinned at that. “Must have been a great relieve to you, eh?” He teased the man besides him with a grin. Said man promptly tried to cuff Faramir over the head but failed since the man was used to such from his brother and ducked in time. Much to the amusement of the Lady cook and her helpers who watched the spectacle.

“You just wait until they drive you insane there!” Aragorn told the laughing Faramir grinning, who had hid himself behind the Lady cook in his haste to get away from Aragorn’s ire.

Then the King was called away again to solve another crisis in his hall that had arisen while he wasn’t looking.

Later when the children were playing in the former garden of Faramirs mother, the man tried to do his overdue paperwork. He had a headache of the size of an Oliphant already; luckily, this was the last report for the day. Suddenly the papers in his hand vanished and were replaced with a mug, filled with steaming hot tea.

“Wa…?!” Faramir looked up, right into the concerned face of one of the red haired twin brothers.

“You look much too pale.” The elf told the flabbergasted man. “King Aragorn told us to stop you from overdoing it and to give you this herbal tea. He said you can blame him if you want.” The elf grinned wickedly in the end. Faramir choose to say nothing at all and took a sip of his tea instead to cover his anger. No use in hitting the messenger however infuriating he was, he knew. He would get even with his King later.

Behind the two Arwen laughed at the scene.

“Stubborn isn’t he?” The elf in his front asked the queen in his mirth seeing Faramir ignore him mulishly. “Oh, you have no idea, Amrod, trust me! He can be worse as my beloved husband if he want to. I pity Aragorn, he will get back on him for that cheek later and our good Faramir is good in getting even.” All laughed, even Faramir. He turned and looked amused at the queen. “Of course I will! He is doing such much too often lately to me and needs a little reminder that I am, against his believe not as helpless as he thinks me to be.” Arwen and Faramir grinned at each other.

“Need a few pointers?” She asked him sweetly what had the elves that were in the garden with her and him laugh madly. Faramir nodded eagerly what had them all laugh harder. “Surely, my Lady! One can never have enough blackmail material against him as well as you know yourself.” Both grinned at each other like cats that understood each fully what had Amrod sit down next to the man in tears from his laughter. Holding his stomach the elf tried his hardest to sober up.

“I begin to pity him too, my Lady. As it looks you both are just as bad as the other!” The two in question turned to the elf next to Faramir with innocent smiles. What had the elf lose his grip on his mirth again. Arwen and Faramir just shrugged at each other. Next to Faramir, the second twin sat down on the bench on the other side of Faramir too. “And they say that we are bad!” He told no one in particular.

This had them all dissolve in laughs in no time.

The rest of the late evening flew by and before Faramir knew it, he was walked back from the two brothers to his room. All three had a sleepy child in the arms.“Say, how are you managing them when no one is there to carry them for you?” A grumpy Amrod asked Faramir, still not have come to terms with it that Faramir had simply put Elured into his arms before he could refuse and then had done the same to Amras with Elurín. Under the laughter and teasing of Arwen no less.

The man was good in distracting them; he had to give Faramir that.

They had met their brother Maglor on their way. The singer had laughed outright at his brothers plights and then taken off before the two could complain to him about their treatment. Faramir ignored the elf.

“Stop complaining, brother. They are tired and you are just plain irritating when you do.” Faramir still ignored them. “Do you think he will notice it if we sneak off with them?” Amrod gave his brother a grin. Faramir still ignored the two although he did rue that he had not given the twin children to another elf to carry now.

“Argh! You are impossible!” Amras gave his brother a glare and hoisted the sleepy Elurín up a little to get a better hold on the sleepy elfling. “Do you really want another reprimand from father? Because that is what will surely happen then if Faramir come looking for them at his door.”

That shut the first brother up.

And Faramir still ignored the quarreling brothers behind him with a wide grin.

In his rooms, he put them into the bed of his son in the side chamber this time. Tomorrow he would leave Gondor with his host of new occupants of Ithilien. He wondered still how he would manage there with them but somehow he was certain that Legolas and he would find a way with time.

Behind him, the two elves watched the man lovingly tuck his children in.

He reminded them unknowingly on their own childhood when their father had done the same with them in Aman. What endeared Faramir only more to the two without to know this. With a final kiss on the little heads the man stood and turned to leave the smaller bedroom. He left the door half open in case one would wake and search for him.

Sitting down into a chair near the fireplace he looked at it for a while.

“Do you know why Dior and his Wife have chosen to stay in the halls?” He gave them a questioning look. The twins looked at each other for a moment before both too settled near the fire. One on the rug before it and one on the rim of the overstuffed chair in which Faramir sat. Amras who sat on the rim chose to speak for both.

“We do not know either. The only thing we can think of is that both still had business to work out there. Of what nature it is we cannot tell either.” He looked away from the fire and into Faramirs eyes. “All I can say is that we have no part in the why. Of that, I am certain. Yes, we did kill them, or better said my brothers did, still I don’t think that this is why they chose to stay.” The man nodded at that.

He rubbed his face wearily for a moment.

“I was expecting no less but had to ask, forgive me. I just want to understand.”

The twin nodded. “We know that and expected no less from you. You are a caring man, Faramir. One that really worries about those you feel close kinship or friendship to. We noticed that before. It is only natural for you to try to make sense out of this situation.” He reassured Faramir who smiled up at him at the words. “Thank you for the praise although I think I do not deserve it in this abundance…” He stared back into the fire, suddenly deeply immersed in unpleasant memories of Denethor telling him that he was not worthy enough of any praise. These memories still haunted him some time or another. A sudden twin in his lap got him fast out of his reverie.

“Hey!” he flushed without warning at the sudden nearness of the gorgeous elf in his lap. Amras just gave him an unrepentant grin. “You were doing it again.” Faramir could only blink at the unashamed elf. “Pardon me?” Amras smiled softly at Faramir and before the man could recover from that, the nose of the twin touched his suddenly when the elf leaned forward.

“Drowning in your memories.” Amrod quipped in from his position on the floor. Amras nodded at that. “Aragorn and many here have told us stories of how your stepfather treated you in the past.” He gave the human in his captive a thoughtful look. His brother got up behind him and rounded the chair to finally lean over the top to enfold Faramir into his arms too. What made the man whip his head around to look at the other twin surprised at the sudden touch.

“I wasn’t!” He told both, fully ignoring the nearness for a moment.

Somehow, both managed to look much more delicate and smaller as they really were. Both twins being nearly a head taller as Faramir when standing currently looked somehow less intimidating as usually. How they did it, was beyond Faramir but they did and it was confusing him to no end. Amras wiggled a little around what brought Faramir’s grey eyes back to the twin in his lap instantly.

“Ahh, but you see, you did.” He told the man before he could protest. “Oh yes.” His twin agreed from behind Faramir. “And we can’t have you do that, now can we?” Amrod told the wide-eyed Faramir when he looked back at him with a sincere smile.

The two had backed him up against an imaginary wall skillfully, the poor man realized slowly.

He racked his head how he could get out of this sticky situation again without to make a complete fool out of himself and found none. Looking at the ceiling for a moment Faramir tried to gather his gathered wits before he gave Amras a stern glare.

“You do this on purpose!” He accused the twin in his lap who just smiled back at him at his words; with a half scowl half smile. The elf shrugged his shoulders. “Naturally we do. And aren’t you humans say that all is fair in love and war? He told the now utterly confused Faramir before he suddenly leaned in and kissed Faramir ere the man had time to react.

It wasn’t an innocent peek or a soft kiss. Rather it was one of those kisses, which steal your thoughts away.

Before Faramir knew what had hit him he had already a demanding tongue in his mouth that dueled with his in a heated war for dominance that he lost equally fast as his wits before. For long moments the only thing that Faramir was aware of was the maddening slide of Amras tongue against his then the elf let suddenly go on him again.

For a long moment the elf just stared deeply into Faramir’s eyes before he suddenly left the lap of the man and went after his brother out of the door. In the door entrance, he turned around one time more to look with eyes filled with unrestrained desire at the flushed human in the chair. What made Faramir flush even harder and wiggle in his seat. “My twin and I happen to know what we want and how to get it too, dear Faramir. I wish you a good night.” With that he simply left and closed the door softly behind them.

He left a completely befuddled and aroused Faramir behind.

Blinking for a few seconds the man stared at the door for a while before he threw his head back with a laugh. “Oh Eru! Those two will be the death of me if I do not watch out!” He told the ceiling earnestly in his chagrin.

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