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Darkness and Light (NC-17) Print

Written by Lilith and Minx

29 March 2004 | 29486 words

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CHAPTER EIGHT

Haldir and Aragorn continued to argue, unaware that the subject of their discussion had fled in dismay.

"What would you have me do? Leave Faramir here in your hands?" Aragorn asked.

"It is true that his presence is disruptive to the guardianship of Lórien. Otherwise you would never have caught me unawares tonight. And there is talk that I have become soft-hearted, devoting so much time to a mortal. But I cannot help myself," he sighed. "Yes, I would have him stay here, at least until he is fully recovered."

"He is a man, Haldir, not an elf that can withdraw from the world for years. He will only get better when he turns his mind to other things like our journey."

"And how will Faramir, weak as he is, help you in this?" Haldir asked again.

"He has a part to play. And if nothing else, it will help him."

"No, Aragorn, if you were honest with yourself you would know that it is not Faramir you are thinking of. It is yourself." The elf's words came out more strongly than he intended, but he could not restrain himself. The ranger loved Faramir, of that he was certain, but he suspected that part of his love grew out of his pride – from his need to watch over all those in his company.

Haldir well knew about pride, and knew enough to realize that his own love of Faramir was inextricably tied to his own need to care for him. The challenge of healing his broken body and mind had become something he just had to do. He hated to admit that Faramir's recovery mattered almost as much to him as it did to the man himself.

"What do you mean by that?"

Haldir detected a note of warning in the man's voice, but he could not stop himself. "I know that you lost Gandalf," he said defiantly, "and you do not want to lose another of your friends." Aragorn felt the room spinning around him. Haldir had hit upon his greatest fear – the very one he had confronted in the Lady's mirror. The ring and all it meant were abstract ideas when compared to those who depended upon him – the hobbits, dear Legolas, loyal Gimli, and most of all Faramir. His legs threatened to give way, and he sank into a cushioned bench.

Aragorn's voice was very quiet when he answered. "I could not bear to lose Faramir. You are right about that. I love him too much for my own good. But you are wrong when you say that is the reason he must continue the quest. In fact, I fully expect to lose all of them, for that is what is foreseen."

Suddenly he realised why Aragorn had not come back that morning. "You have looked into the mirror of Galadriel," Haldir exclaimed. "I am sorry – I did not know –" The mirror's visions were always unsettling; in times like these, they bore very black tidings indeed.

"Yes, and I saw all my company in peril," Aragorn answered, despair in his voice. "You say that men do not consider the consequences of their actions. This is all I can think about now. Dark times are encroaching in every direction, and yet I have to pick a course to lead my friends. No way is safe – I lead them into danger no matter what I decide. Oh how I wish that it were not so!"

Haldir knew no words to soothe the man. He wanted to tell him that all would be well, but he could not in truth say this. He started to tell him that he could not choose his fate, but knew that the man would think him patronising. Finally he did the only thing he could – he sat beside him and put his long arms around his shoulders, drawing him close. He remembered holding Aragorn like this once before, when he had first been moved by the man's passion for his friend. Aragorn did not cry now, but he rested his head gratefully on Haldir's shoulder and drew a long breath.

A moment passed before he pulled himself from the elf's embrace. When he looked up, his eyes were clear.

"I apologize for burdening you with this, Haldir."

"No, Aragorn, it is I who should apologize. I did not realise what you had been through today. My mind is ever on Faramir, and I did not think of your other concerns. You have foreseen him continuing on the quest then?"

Aragorn was silent for a moment as a shadow crossed his face. Finally he answered, "I have seen us together battling an unbeatable foe."

Haldir winced. "I know not the details of your quest, nor would I hear them, but I feared that danger lay before you. I had hoped that he might be spared."

"As had I," Aragorn admitted. "But it is not to be. We must leave in two weeks."

Aragorn saw Haldir's face fall, and he truly felt sorry for the elf. Although they had disagreed about many things, he knew that Haldir's love for Faramir could not be found wanting. Should I tell him about the other vision? he wondered to himself. Would it ease Haldir's heart to know what Aragorn had seen? Or would it make it harder for him to let Faramir go? No, Aragorn finally decided, I will not tell him. The Lady's mirror is too fickle. I know not whether what I've seen will come to pass, or whether events may yet prevent it.

But he had to do something to relieve Haldir's despondency. Taking the elf's hand in his own, Aragorn said, "I love Faramir, even as you do. He sees me only as the king, but my feelings for him run much deeper. Be assured that I will never be reckless with his life. I will gladly give my own if, by doing so, it might save him." He squeezed his hand tighter. "And I promise you this, Haldir. If we somehow succeed in this journey, I will see to it that he returns to Lórien, at least for a time."

Haldir looked at the ranger gratefully. "You would do that for me?"

Aragorn smiled. "No, but I would do it for Faramir. Now I really must say goodnight. I am weary, and I would like to check on our patient before I sleep."

"Please do. He will be glad to see you," Haldir added. "Losto mae."

Just moments after Aragorn departed, Rúmil appeared at his door. "Excuse me, brother. I did not want to disturb you earlier, but Faramir has run away."

"What? Where did he go?"

"Orophin saw him running away from the City. He looked upset, so he followed him. He is headed towards Cerin Amroth."

Why would he go so far? Haldir thought as he grabbed his cloak. "Take me to him," he said aloud, then changed his mind. "No, Rúmil, first find Aragorn and tell him what's happened. I will go ahead."

The full moon lit the way for the elf's swift feet, and soon he neared the ancient mallorn that marked the halfway point between Caras Galadhon and Amroth's ancient mound. Suddenly he heard Orophin's low whistle calling to him. He found his brother waiting nearby, but he could not see the man anywhere.

"Faramir is here?" he asked. "Aye, brother, he is on the far side of the mallorn. I would have approached him, but he is very troubled."

"Do you know what happened?"

"Not really. I saw him outside your pavilion earlier and I thought he was going to enter. He never did, though, he just ran away a few minutes later."

*Had he heard them?* Haldir tried to think back to what might have upset the young man. It could not have been the talk of the travellers' fate. Faramir was a warrior, he would not have withered so easily. Was it his own admission of love? Was that what had driven the man into the night?

"I was not sure what to do," Orophin continued, "so I sent word to you."

"Thank you, brother," Haldir said. "You did the right thing. Now leave us please, I will look after Faramir now."

Drawing a deep breath, he approached the mallorn. The giant tree had stood since the early days of Lórien. Its mighty girth spanned the width of twenty men, and its pale golden leaves sparkled in the moonlight. The tree was revered by the elves, and Haldir could understand how Faramir might be drawn to it for solace. The young man was there slouched against its trunk, his back facing Haldir. It would do no good to surprise him, Haldir knew, so he gently spoke his name.

Faramir started and jerked his head around. "Haldir," he said, anger in his voice. "What do you want?"

"I was worried for you," the elf said gently, fighting the urge to take the young man in his arms. "What are you doing here?"

There was a long silence before Faramir replied, "Why did you save me? I didn't want you to."

The steely tone in the man's voice frightened Haldir, and he laid his hand on his shoulder. Faramir shrunk away from the touch. Haldir felt a pain deep inside, and knew it was how Aragorn had felt when Faramir had fled from him after Moria. "What's wrong, Faramir?" he asked quietly. "What have I done to anger you?"

"Why are you always fussing over me? I didn't ask you to."

"Faramir, please tell me what's wrong," Haldir pleaded.

"You should have left me in Moria," Faramir answered, his voice cold. "You should never have come back for me."

"What are you saying?"

"It was wrong of you and Aragorn to try to save me. I should have died there. I deserved to die, after those beasts used me." *Now I have become as depraved as they,* Faramir added to himself.

How could he ever have thought that Aragorn might accept his love? Even less that the elf might? For a few fleeting moments he had thought that his feelings might not be wrong, but now he knew them for what they were – as vile, debase nightmares every bit as hateful as those of Gríma Wormtongue. Under the guise of comfort these visions taunted him, forever reminding him that he could never fulfil his deepest desires.

"Now I am no good to anyone," he said bitterly.

The pain in his voice broke Haldir's heart. "Oh, dear heart," he said gently. "I cannot bear to hear you speak this way."

Faramir ignored the endearment. "If I hadn't been rescued, then you and Aragorn would not be arguing over who must take care of me."

*So that's what he overheard,* Haldir thought. No wonder he is upset. He knelt down beside Faramir and looked directly into his misty grey eyes. "We were arguing because we both want to keep you. Neither of us wants to let you go."

"It is not true," Faramir said, a single tear spilling onto his cheek. "I am weak. You both said so. And now I'm useless to you all."

"No, Faramir, you could never be useless. You are loved deeply, you have no idea how much." Haldir could not resist reaching out and taking Faramir into his arms. For a second he felt the man's body relax into his embrace, but then stiffen.

"No, you are trying to trick me," Faramir exclaimed, springing back out of Haldir's arms. "I heard you talking to Aragorn. I heard you say that I was disrupting the peace of Lórien."

"You heard me say you were disturbing my peace, Faramir," Haldir admitted sadly. "And that is true."

"Then I should leave. I don't want to be a burden to you. But I can't go with the others. I thought I could tonight, I thought –" Faramir's words trailed off as he remembered all that he had thought earlier during dinner.

"You could never be a burden, my dearest one." The elf reached out to wipe the lone tear from his cheek. "Aragorn and I were arguing about you, it is true. I would have you stay here longer to recover, but Aragorn has convinced me that you have a part yet to play in the quest. You will leave in a fortnight."

Faramir shook his head. "I would go anywhere with him, I love him so. I want to be with him, even if he does not share my feelings." He sighed before continuing in a miserable voice, "But Aragorn does not want me with him. He thinks me weak – he said he wished Boromir had come in my stead." Faramir closed his eyes as Aragorn's words echoed through his head. He thought his heart would break.

Haldir's heart was breaking too. He had to let Faramir know that Aragorn returned his love, but in doing so he knew he would forfeit his own claim. His love for Faramir was overwhelming, but he knew that the bond between the two men was even stronger. They shared hopes and dreams that the elf could never understand. If I truly desire Faramir's happiness, I must tell him, he thought.

Quietly Haldir said, "Then did you not hear what else he said? That ever since that first day he had found you to be the bravest and strongest man he'd ever met?"

"He did not say that!" Faramir looked doubtful, but there was a gleam in his eye that had not been there a moment before.

"Did you not hear him say that he loved you more and more with each passing day?"

"No, I don't believe you. Why would he say that?"

"Because it is true, Faramir. Your mind is noble and your heart is true. You are courageous and strong, whether you believe it or not. I see it, and Aragorn sees it. He wants you to continue the journey because he cannot live without you by his side." Nor can I, he thought grimly.

Faramir's face was full of confusion. "How can you say that, Haldir? How could you think that about me? I am nothing –"

"Never say that," Haldir interrupted him harshly. "You doubt yourself too much. You cannot see yourself as others do. It is up to Aragorn and me to show you how much you are loved. Isn't that right, Aragorn?" he said over his shoulder to the ranger he had heard approach a few moments before.

"Aragorn!" Faramir leapt to his feet in surprise.

Aragorn walked up to the distraught young man, throwing Haldir a grateful look as he moved away to make space for him.

Faramir looked up at him, his eyes suddenly brimming with tears.

"It's true," the ranger said immediately. "I do love you and I want you with me always."

Faramir's look changed to one of confused disbelief. He stared at Aragorn, and finally the tears he had been fighting to hold back fell.

"Oh love," Aragorn whispered holding out his arms and pulling Faramir into his embrace.

"You – you really want me beside you?" Faramir asked, his voice hoarse and muffled by Aragorn's chest.

"Of course, I do. Not just now during the quest, but always."

"But the quest – I – I'm slowing you down, and I cannot even fight!"

"Hush, love. You give us the strength to go on. It will all be fine, I promise!"

Faramir raised his face and glanced up at Aragorn, his grey eyes glistening, "Oh Aragorn! I never thought – I always – I do so love you!"

"I know. Now." Aragorn said. As he kissed him on his forehead he noticed Haldir slipping quietly away.

"Haldir!" he called out loudly, startling the elf as well as the young man in his arms.

Haldir turned back silently, not missing the confused look on Faramir's face.

"Haldir has something he wishes to tell you, Faramir."

"I do?" Haldir couldn't help saying. He looked at Aragorn quizzically, wondering what he was up to now.

"Yes, you do. Come on, tell him."

"What is it?" Faramir asked staring from Aragorn to Haldir.

"Tell him you love him," Aragorn said to the elf.

"What?" Faramir gasped, stiffening in Aragorn's arms.

"Oh yes, indeed, he does," Aragorn said smiling. "Haldir loves you dearly."

"But he's an elf!"

"Elves can fall in love," Haldir pointed out, the only words he'd managed to say since Aragorn's announcement.

"But you're so perfect," Faramir cried out, "And I'm – I'm – not! How – how could you love me?"

"You mean I'm not perfect?" Aragorn pouted, but no one heard him. Faramir disentangled himself from Aragorn's arms as Haldir walked back to him. He looked utterly bewildered.

"Like this," Haldir said in response to Faramir's plaintive question, and gently reaching out for his face, captured the soft lips in a gentle kiss.

Aragorn stared at them, and to his surprise, he felt not jealousy, but a strange lightness of heart. They exuded such an aura of healing love that he felt strangely blissful, and increasingly stirred. The sight of the fair, golden elf kissing the dark young man sent a shiver of excitement coursing through Aragorn's body. When Haldir finally released Faramir, Aragorn felt bereft at losing the lovely image.

"I am sorry. I should not have done that," Haldir said softly as Faramir gaped at him, his mouth still slightly open, the pink lips glistening. "But I had to show you that I do love you. Why would I not? You are brave, kind, and intelligent – what fool would not fall in love with you immediately? I will understand if you do not reciprocate my feelings, but I cannot let you ever think so little of yourself. I shall leave you two now."

Aragorn could not miss the adoring gaze that Faramir bestowed on Haldir when he was released. What he had feared was true – Faramir did love the elf. But suddenly he realised that he was no longer afraid of these feelings. Haldir turned to go, but Aragorn reached out his hand to stay him.

"No, do not leave," he said. "I think you will find Faramir has something to say too. But I fear that, like you, he may be unable to speak coherently. I think he wishes for you to stay. Am I right, Faramir?"

Faramir turned to him, tearing his gaze away from the elf, and Aragorn saw a multitude of emotions flit through the grey eyes. He nodded gently to reassure him. "We both love you, Faramir, and I know you love both of us."

He moved closer to the two and slipped his arms around Faramir from the back, so that the young man stood between man and elf, held in place, securely and protectively.

Faramir could barely speak. This was even more wonderful than his dreams.

"You – you really do? You really love me?" was all he kept saying.

Gently, Aragorn moved his hair away and kissed him on his neck, while Haldir kissed him along his brow.

"Oh!" Faramir gasped as both pairs of soft lips descended on him. He felt the heat pooling in his lower belly, but he no longer felt shame. No, he felt alive, and infinitely loved. Aragorn was nipping along his shoulder now, shifting the sleeve of his tunic downwards. Their hands held him securely between them, and he found himself leaning back against Aragorn.

Then Haldir gently turned him around so Aragorn could kiss his face. The ranger's lips met his, their tongues intertwining as they devoured each other's mouths. Faramir felt the tickle of Aragorn's beard against his own, contrasting with the smooth face of the elf as he nuzzled the back of his neck.

"That was nice," Faramir finally murmured after they had both kissed him sweetly and gently. "Don't stop there," he begged and it was obvious he spoke to both.

"What would you like us to do?" Aragorn urged softly. "I could keep kissing you forever."

"I think you should tell us what to do," Haldir said his eyes twinkling

"What I want to do?" Faramir said softly, "I – I want -" he bit his lip musingly. "I – I like what you were doing to me. I – I know how men make love to each other. And I know it can give great pleasure. But I do not know if I can – "

"No," Aragorn and Haldir said together, their voices soft and gentle.

"No," Aragorn repeated his voice still soft, "not yet."

"But there is much else we can do that is also very pleasurable," Haldir said immediately.

Faramir looked up at both of them, trust and love shining out of his eyes. "I should like to return that pleasure too."

They undressed, Aragorn and Haldir helping Faramir out of his clothes, bestowing small kisses as each part of his body was revealed. The full moon cast a soft glow on their bodies, on the fair, flawless skin of the elf, the more weathered skin of the two men. Faramir's scars looked like mere shadows in this light, and Aragorn and Haldir set to work kissing them away. The night was cool, so the three of them gathered close, Faramir in the middle, revelling in the heat of their bodies. Facing Faramir, Aragorn kissed his shoulder rubbing against him. Faramir gasped as the ranger's calloused hands touched his semi-erect length, sending a thrilling jolt through his lower body. He threw his head back, which Haldir standing behind him caught gently, turning his face sideways so they could kiss. Faramir moaned in pleasure as Haldir's tongue gently explored his mouth and stroked his hips slowly and sensually, even as Aragorn's shaft pressed against his stomach. He felt Haldir's erection poke against his hip, but it did not worry him. He trusted both of his lovers implicitly.

Faramir was suddenly filled with an overwhelming sense of awe. Here he was, being loved by the two people he had come to consider so important in his life. His entire being felt alive, an electrifying sensation racing through his veins. He felt loved and wanted.

He moaned louder as their contact became more frenzied, Aragorn stroking him faster, Haldir kissing him more deeply. He quickly came, emitting small, soft moans of pleasure. His legs felt weak and he almost collapsed. Fortunately he was braced between his two lovers, who caught him before he reached the ground.

After making sure that he was steady, Haldir laid their cloaks on the ground beneath the mallorn-tree and motioned for the two men to join him. "So much more comfortable," he said, stretching Faramir out between them. As they began kissing his arms, roaming up to his shoulders, and then onto his neck, Faramir felt himself harden again. Faramir reached out his hand to touch Haldir's face, drawing him to his lips for a deep kiss as Aragorn suckled the curve of his neck. The elf moved away and began working his way down Faramir's neck, and Faramir turned to kiss Aragorn in his stead. Their kiss was interrupted when Haldir's wet tongue brushed over his hardened nipples. Faramir's gasp caused Aragorn to pull back. When he did, he saw the rapturous face foretold in the Lady's mirror. Aragorn smiled broadly before resuming his passionate attack on the young man's lips.

The elf continued to work his way down his body. Faramir cried out softly as Haldir mouth descended on his erection. Wrapping one arm around Faramir's chest, Aragorn let his tongue explore the young man's mouth, smiling as Haldir's efforts induced tiny yelps of pleasure. Using his other hand, he gently stroked the line of Faramir's jaw, running his fingers through his soft beard. Faramir whined softly as Aragorn came up for air. His eyes were closed and he was breathing heavily. The ranger looked down and saw Haldir working his mouth up Faramir's shaft, his lips encasing the hard flesh perfectly. He was working slowly but steadily, letting his tongue snake its way up first and then following with his lips.

Aragorn watched as he took Faramir's entire length in his mouth, and found himself echoing each little moan that came through Faramir's lips. The two lovers moulded perfectly in the moonlit night, in perfect symmetry. Aragorn did not want to stop the exquisite sounds of pleasure issuing from Faramir's mouth, so he ran his lips lightly along the outside of his ear. An even greater moan encouraged him to continue. With very delicate movements, he licked the ear with more urgency. Faramir seemed to tremble, so he pushed his tongue into the ear and lapped the tiny space even as the young man cried out lustily and spilled into Haldir's mouth.

As the elf lifted his head, Aragorn saw his own deep longing reflected in those green eyes. He reached out and pulled the elf toward him so that they faced each other, both on their knees. Aragorn drew Haldir's lips to his own, tasting Faramir's seed on his tongue. Haldir's body was rigid at first, but relaxed as Aragorn explored his mouth. A second later they both gasped as they felt Faramir's hands on their erections. They glanced towards their young lover and relaxed as they saw him smiling.

Faramir watched as his two lovers united in a deep, lingering kiss, the dark outline of Aragorn's beard in contrast to the pale smoothness of Haldir's perfect skin. He thought they looked extraordinarily beautiful with their arms wrapped around each other. Faramir stroked his hands along their rigid shafts, allowing his fingers to run up and down in tandem. He loved the feel of the thick, wet flesh hardening under his fingers. Haldir and Aragorn continued to kiss, moaning lightly into each other's mouths.

"Move closer," he whispered, and they did, Aragorn pulling Haldir to him so that the tips of their shafts brushed. Faramir watched in delight as that simple touch sent them into raptures, the kiss trailing off as they threw their heads back together. He stroked more vigorously now, grabbing both shafts in his hands and rubbing them together, inducing almost feral moans until they came together and collapsed back onto the cloaks.

Afterwards the three lay resting on the ground until the air turned chill around them.

"We should return to the City," Haldir said, rising to gather the random pieces of clothing that had been scattered around. Faramir started to get up to help him, but groaned and fell back onto his back.

Aragorn was immediately at his side. "Are you all right, love? Did we hurt you?"

Faramir reached out his hand to stroke Aragorn's beard. "It was Legolas," he said, grinning as a confused look crossed the ranger's face. "He was teaching me to use elven knives today. I'd forgotten how sore I was."

"We'll carry you back," Haldir assured him, pulling on his robe. Aragorn found his own tunic and carefully checked for stray leaves hidden in the cloth. One could never trust an elf, a dwarf, and four precocious hobbits to not guess what had happened, but he saw no reason to make it easier for them. Behind him Haldir was fussing over the younger man, helping him pull on his shirt. Aragorn turned to see Faramir smile and pull Haldir's face closer.

He watched as their kiss deepened, his lovers' beautiful combination of light and dark bringing a smile to his face. When he saw Faramir's eyes open, an adoring look filling his face, Aragorn suddenly realised that the loving grey eyes were looking directly at him.


Losto mae = sleep well.

NB: Please do not distribute (by any means, including email) or repost this story (including translations) without the author's prior permission. [ more ]

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7 Comment(s)

I loved the way Faramir went from someone scared out of his wits to someone so loving. Keep up the good work.

— balrog    Thursday 28 June 2007, 10:15    #

Oh man, I’m probably going to hell for liking this! :)

— Luthien    Monday 7 January 2008, 8:15    #

This is one of my favorites to read with Faramir’s courage. I would recommend it to all. Thanks

— balrog    Tuesday 3 March 2009, 5:30    #

Thank you Balrog!:)

— Minx    Sunday 8 March 2009, 18:09    #

read it twice, love it.Great work. Hope you write more Faramir-Haldir work. :-)

— blondie    Saturday 14 December 2013, 19:10    #

@blondie: Thank you so much. Good to hear you liked reading this. Lilith has written a few sequels to this, and I hope you were able to read those too.

Minx    Wednesday 1 January 2014, 14:45    #

Loved it, whats is the name of the sequels,,,have you other faramir haldir yourself, its great

Line    Wednesday 4 November 2015, 13:46    #

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