Faramir Fiction Archive

Human King, Elven King and one Stubborn Steward

Written by KC

05 November 2004 | 20383 words

Part 7

“You doused yourself in wine!?”, Legolas asked in shocked disbelief, “knowing the affect wine on human flesh has on orcs!?”

“Well…yes. Otherwise the orcs would not have chased me,” Faramir replied tentatively in way of explanation, as he could not understand why Legolas, Thranduil and the Seneschal, Maglor, were so angry with him. Unless…

“The elf, the one who was prisoner…he is alright is he not? My plan worked…did it not?” Faramir asked in trepidation, a knot forming in the pit of his stomach at the thought that the elf had been killed.

“Galdor is fine if a little bruised, though he will suffer much jesting for being caught in the first place,” Legolas answered. Faramir sighed with relief. “For such an intelligent man Faramir, you can be decidedly obtuse at times. Do you not know why we are angry with you?”

“I know I did not explain what I was going to do but we had to work quickly and it has worked before…” Faramir’s voice trailed off as he saw all three elven jaws drop.

“Please mellon-nin, tell me that you have not done this before,” Legolas begged.

“Well…y..y..yes,” Faramir stammered. “Onc…twice,” the young Steward corrected almost forgetting the first time he had used this trick, when he was twenty-one. He really did not want to remember that first time for when Boromir found out his brother blistered his…

“Oh,” Faramir whimpered softly as he realised finally, what might be the cause of the anger directed at him.

“Aieeeeeeee!” Maglor exclaimed as he turned, threw his hands into the air and stormed off in disgust, muttering under his breath about idiot humans with no sense of self-preservation.

“You could have been killed you young fool of a human,” Thranduil growled dangerously.

“I do admit that there was an element of risk…” Faramir began trying to placate King and Prince.

“An element of risk!” Legolas exploded. “You remove all your protective armour, douse yourself in wine whipping several dozen orcs into a frenzy, wait till they are almost upon you before you turn and run for your very life! And you call that an element of risk!! If you had slipped or faltered the orcs would have torn you limb from limb before we could have aided you!”

“I owe you an apology ion-nin,” Thranduil said to Legolas although he continued to glare at the human. “You are not the most stubborn, troublesome being in Middle Earth.”

Thinking again of rabbits, Faramir cringed under the intense glares of King and Prince.

Knowing what was likely to be in his immediate future, Faramir’s fight instincts took over. With highly developed ranger reflexes, Faramir jumped up from his seated position on the fallen log, dodged several elves and fled towards where they had tethered their horses, as fast as his legs would carry him. Sharing a glance of resignation, Thranduil and Legolas were about to give chase when a familiar voice muttering curses followed by a familiar yelp drew their attention.

“You will keep a civil tongue in your head pen-neth,” Maglor commanded as the elf walloped the young human’s posterior hard, with a familiar red paddle. Faramir, still struggling, was slung over the elf’s shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

“Why thank you Maglor,” the elven King said conversationally. “And how far did our young charge get?” he asked curiously.

“To the horses, sire,” Maglor admitted ruefully.

“That far you say. My, my, he is very fast - for a human that is,” Thranduil acknowledged as he continued to glare at the young human dangerously.

Faramir groaned on hearing the tone in the King’s voice. My arse is toast, the frightened young human thought. Maglor put the young man on his feet but continued to hold him by the scruff of the neck. Faramir went very still as he looked anywhere but at the three elves or that bloody paddle. Thranduil sat down upon the fallen log that Faramir had been sitting on not long before.

Maglor passed the bright red elvish paddle to Legolas who then passed it to his father. Faramir could not stop a small whimper at the sight of the paddle in the hands of the King for he knew of what the King was capable in wielding said paddle. Maglor released his hold on the young human and pushed him towards the King, surprisingly gently.

Faramir, who had faced much harsher punishments from his father in absolute silence, could not find that same place within himself now when confronted by the elven King. He knew that he would not be able to take this chastisement in silence even if it proved less harsh and he could not understand why this was so.

Taking a deep breath, although it did not calm him, Faramir loosened the ties of his leggings, pushed them down and lowered himself over the elven King’s knees. Thranduil lifted Faramir’s under tunic gently for he had seen the blow the young man had taken. He hissed at the sight of the extensive, painful looking black bruise, in the shape of a sword, which decorated the young human’s back. Anger growing but judging that he could still proceed with the chastisement, Thranduil landed the first whack with the paddle to the young human’s buttocks.

“What is this punishment for,” the elven King demanded as he landed stinging whack after stinging whack to the human’s posterior.

“I am not entirely sure! Yes, I did put myself at risk but I am a soldier. It is what soldiers do!” Faramir sniped, temper on the rise as the blows to his posterior continued.

Legolas winced as he saw the colour in his father’s face rise to a dangerous shade of magenta.

“Aieeeee!!” Thranduil exclaimed as he continued to land blistering blow after blistering blow to Faramir’s buttocks. “Would you have allowed any of those you have lead to do as you did?” Thranduil demanded as he moved his attention to Faramir’s thighs, as the young man’s posterior was as red as the paddle.

“No!” Faramir yelled defeated.

Thranduil stopped for a moment, put the paddle down beside him and looked at Legolas.

“I think you need to send this message home to him ion-nin,” Thranduil said gently.

Legolas nodded and sat down upon the fallen tree.

“No…no…no,” Faramir repeated as he struggled to get away from Thranduil.

The elven King easily moved the struggling human to his son’s lap as he laid Faramir’s head on his own lap to offer some comfort. Thranduil passed the paddle to his son.

Legolas steeled his heart for what he must do by thinking about what the orcs would have done had Faramir faltered in his run towards the woods.

“What were you thinking, mellon-nin?” Legolas asked as he landed the first swat to Faramir’s already well-paddled posterior.

“An elf was in danger,” Faramir whimpered as Legolas continued to blister his thighs.

“And your life is not worth as much as that of an elf?” Legolas asked already knowing what Faramir felt in his heart.

“No it is not!!” the young Steward sobbed.

“And you would not let anyone under your command do the same as you did for your life is not worth as much as that of your men?” Legolas asked, tears forming in his eyes, as he knew what Faramir would say.

“No…it…is…n-not!” Faramir sobbed out between gasps for breath as Legolas continued to land blistering blows to his buttocks.

“You are wrong, muindor tithen (little brother), you may not value your life but others do and if I have to paddle you every day of your life to show you how much it means, I will!” Legolas promised, tears streaming down his face as he continued to paddle his brother.

Judging that Faramir had had enough for one day, Legolas stopped the paddling, pulled up his brother’s leggings and rubbed back in gentle circles. Faramir continued to sob. After a few moments Legolas and Thranduil sensed a presence for they felt - love. Faramir could also sense the presence and turned his head that was still cradled in the elven King’s lap.

“Boromir!!” Faramir cried as he stretched an arm out towards his brother’s image that stood but a few paces away.

The elves, tied to Arda, could not see what Faramir saw but they could feel the love that emanated from the position that the young human had his eyes fixed upon.

“He is leaving me. He has come to say goodbye,” Faramir whimpered as he sensed his brother’s love and his farewell. “Do not leave me Boromir, please do not leave me alone,” Faramir sobbed out, his heart shattered.

Legolas gathered Faramir into his arms.

“You are not alone, muindor tithen. I will be with you always. Let Boromir go…he has stayed long enough…let him go,” Legolas crooned as Faramir continued to sob. “I will take care of him Boromir,” Legolas said towards the position that Faramir looked upon.

Boromir looked upon his brother with such love and such sad regret. He mouthed the words ‘I will love you always little brother. Until we meet again’. And then he faded away. Faramir wailed and then sobbed harder than he had ever sobbed in his life.

Legolas continued to rock his brother as the young human cried.

“You are not alone, muindor tithen, never alone,” Legolas soothed over and over.

Legolas, tears continuing to stream down his face, looked to his father seeking comfort as he tried to soothe Faramir. Thranduil, moved to tears himself, took Faramir from Legolas and cradled the young man in his arms. Faramir, sensing that it was Thranduil that held him, wrapped his arms around the elven King’s neck like a child would and sobbed out his young heart.

“Let it out ion-nin, let it out,” Thranduil soothed unaware that he had called the young human ‘my son’. After a long time Faramir’s sobs turned to hitched breaths as he remained cradled in the arms of the elven King. Maglor held out a cup to the King.

“Sleeping draft?” Thranduil enquired softly as continued to rock Faramir. “You are a wonder Maglor,” Thranduil complemented, as his Seneschal nodded in the affirmative. Thranduil took the cup from Maglor and held it to Faramir’s mouth. The young Steward drank the brew without complaint, still in a state of shock. It was not long before the young human had fallen asleep.

“I see you have acquired a human brother, ion-nin?” Thranduil asked, eyebrow raised.

“I see you have acquired a human son, ada,” Legolas replied, eyebrow also raised.

“Did I really? A human?” Thranduil asked with a twinkle in his eye.

“Poor Faramir,” Legolas said as he watched his sleeping brother fondly. “An elf for a brother, an elven King for a father and a tree for a mother,” Legolas chuckled. His chuckle turned to a laugh at the look of bewilderment in his father’s eyes.

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