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Letters From Faramir (G) Print

Written by Alcardilmë

28 April 2010 | 16713 words

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Letter Seven –

Faramir sat at his desk. He dared not go to Boromir’s room again. Somehow, Denethor had discovered Faramir had been using it and ordered the room locked. Even a moment’s comfort is denied me, he thought bitterly. He wrote quickly, knowing his time was short.

Brother,

Things ran not smoothly nor as I wished last night. Father finally bade me leave him, he noticed the weariness upon my face, and I was grateful for I was deathly tired. I could hardly stand. Much to my chagrin, I swayed when I rose to leave and had to clutch the arm of Father’s chair to keep from falling. There is some malaise upon me. In this morning’s light, it would seem to have been some breath of evil laid upon me during the Nazgûl attack. And Father saw my weakness. It seems even the littlest thing does not pass his scrutiny. Even my body conspires against me in my dealings with him! You would have laughed and eased the tension, my Brother. I miss your warmth – the clear knowledge of your support. How you ever survived Father’s demands, without becoming ill tempered, arrogant and cruel, I will never know.

Mother knew he named you Boromir in hopes that you would exceed your namesake’s deeds, thus honoring him before men. But in her gentle ways, she must have accepted the name for its true meaning – for you are the Jewel of Gondor. Mayhap that is why Mother was able to keep Father at arms length from me, his gaze fixed on you, so that I would be free for my studies and my music. Dearest Boromir, you took the brunt of Father’s ego. You kept me free. But I am no longer free. He would use me to his will and his purposes for Gondor. And I would be used, but wisdom does not dictate useless sacrifice.

As weary as I was last night, I saw Mithrandir grip the arms of his chair as I told of my meeting with the Halfing and of Frodo’s resolve to go to Cirith Ungol after he left Ithilien. Becoming quite agitated – more so than I have ever seen him – Mithrandir jumped from his chair shouting at me, “What day! What time!” that I thought Frodo had arrived there. A great unease filled my heart and shivers ran down my body, yet I realized that the darkness now upon us started before the Halfling and his companion could ever have reached Cirith Ungol and I assured Mithrandir of that fact. At this, Father became extremely angry with me. His voice was full of contempt as I finished my tale. He deemed I paid more attention to Mithrandir’s opinion than to his. There is a hatred there, mayhap even a fear of Mithrandir or something associated with him. I do not know why or what the history is that has caused this.

But that is naught compared to what I have learned. Boromir, Father knows what Frodo carries! I was stunned to discover this. He was furious when he surmised that I had let the Halfling go and became incensed when he realized I knew what Frodo carried and its import. He accused me of putting this Halfling’s undertaking above the good of Gondor, that I was more concerned with what Mithrandir deemed necessary than what Father would command.

And Boromir, he is right, may the Valar forgive me. Father’s ways are for Gondor alone, but since speaking with the Ringbearer, I see more clearly now. This evil does not assail Gondor only, but all of Middle-earth. Mithrandir sees this and understands. His excitement, or mayhap fear, as I detailed my meeting with Frodo, has convinced me that what I surmised is true – the fate of all Middle-earth rests on this one creature – this Halfling.

I have not been subject to such scorn, such bitter words from Father as I was by the end of last night’s meeting, Boromir. I have long known of his disdain for me, his utter lack of faith in any ability I might have, but he finally said what I have felt these past weeks, since your Horn was brought to him – that he wished that I had gone in your place.That you would have brought It to him. I was surprised at my calm as he bespoke these words. His anger at the loss of the desired weapon momentarily swayed him from solid thought, though the remembrance of it now brings tears to my eyes and wounds my heart.

But these tears are for you, Boromir, not for Father. In the deepest recesses of my heart, this is my wish too – that you were here. I would gladly accept death to have you here. Your loss is beyond comprehension, beyond endurance. I am so much less without you. Forgive me; I know these words will make you angry. I can see your scowl; your anger crackles in my mind as I think upon your response. Oh, what you would have said to Father! My dearest Brother, dearest champion, dearest protector, dearest friend. Boromir, my heart cries out to you. If only you could hear me. If only you would come home. My grief is so great and seems to be growing instead of diminishing. Forgive my weakness.

I must away now. Father has sent for me and I must clear my mind. I would that you were with me. I will use the strength of your love in this next meeting. I am grateful I awoke early to spend this time with you. I fear he will send me back to Ithilien immediately; I had hoped to spend some time with the Halfling. Mithrandir whisked him away last night before I was able to speak with him. The rumor that this Halfling had been with you at the last – it consumes my thoughts. But there was no time to meet last night. I vowed I would meet him first thing this morning, before any other task, but here I am – summoned to appear before Father and again my hopes are dashed. I know not who else has been so summoned, but it does not bode well with me. There is some evil in this beloved place, some force of power that I do not understand.

Faramir

He folded the paper as the Knight, sent to fetch him, entered the room. They walked towards the Great Hall, Faramir staring at the brown sky covering his fair land. As he entered the Hall, he saw that the Council and the Captains had been called by the Lord of the City, even his uncle, Imrahil. The meeting did not go well, and, against his own judgment, he found himself riding east again, with a small band, riding towards Osgiliath, to harry the Enemy for just a little longer in hopes that Rohan would come.

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11 Comment(s)

What an excellent work, Alcardilmë!
Truly I admire your style of writing and wonderful ideas! These feelings, these emotions… They are so deep, so full of hope, of love. Thank you!

— Anastasiya    Wednesday 10 March 2010, 17:30    #

Many thanks for your kind words, Anastasiya. I do so love writing about the brothers.

Alcardilmë    Saturday 13 March 2010, 4:34    #

Wow! The emotions are so raw, they are dripping from the letters, they are dripping from my screen. Loved it! Great work! Thanks!

dream.in.a.jar    Thursday 25 March 2010, 15:06    #

Gosh – most pleased that you like this. I would offer a handkerchief for your screen, if I could. Very grateful for your comments!

Alcardilmë    Sunday 28 March 2010, 4:14    #

Wow. Gorgeously done. Intensely felt and expertly crafted. I love seeing the battle commander Faramir in action. Still thinking and feeling, but never wavering in his leadership and valor. Thank you.

— Vanwa Hravani    Monday 29 March 2010, 13:56    #

You have such a gift for translating emotions into words! This is surely what Faramir was thinking and feeling during those times.

I especially liked the mention of the friends lost in battle. They weren’t nameless, faceless ‘extras’ to the brothers. They were real men with lives and familes, and each would be mourned.

— trixe    Monday 29 March 2010, 22:14    #

My deepest thanks for your intense words, Vanwa Hravani! Never wavering is right. The lieutenant will indeed grow into the fine captain that we all know and love. But I cannot take credit; I only write what Faramir tells me to. :D

Alcardilmë    Sunday 4 April 2010, 4:42    #

Dear trixie, it is an honor to receive such a note of encouragement from an author whom I value! As for Faramir, I can see him caring for his men. Not as chattle, but as important parts of his life. Mourning lost friends must have occurred on a daily basis… the life of a soldier of Gondor was not a safe life. Again, many thanks for your gift of comment!

Alcardilmë    Sunday 4 April 2010, 4:51    #

I have just read all of the letters in one sitting, so to say. I am still crying so much that I almostfeel that my heart will tear apart. I am in a hospital and a dear friend of mine just passed away. we both have cancer, but mine is treatable, his wasn’t. I sat next to him this sunday and we spoke of all the things we would do when we got out of here. he took care of me, when I was sick from the chemo he helped me, he encourage me to stay strong and he was always there for me. When my boyfriend broke up with me because I was to sick for him to be with me he comforted me. He was like a nother big brother, one who could understand. his family visited me as much as they visited him, my own parents have never come. He died the same night and I never got to tell him how much I loved him. I feel like I am all alone now, even though some of my friends come I feel like I don’t have the strength to fight anymore. Why couldn’t I have died instead of him? Your letters has inspired me to start writing to him. I will never forget him and I wont let him be.
Tank you for this

— Ingrid    Wednesday 28 April 2010, 16:30    #

Ingrid – my heart goes out to you. I’m glad the Letters gave you inspiration. Writing is an incredible gift… I truly know what you decide to write will help heal. As for me, the Letters definitely helped me. Some folks say that feedback really isn’t necessary for a dedicated writer, but I put things that are a part of me into my writing. When folks respond, I feel more human. I feel connected to humanity. If that makes any sense. Thank you for your comments, but especially for your courage. Blessings!

Alcardilmë    Saturday 1 May 2010, 4:23    #

I am in tears. You have managed to put into words the feelings of all who have lost a loved one. I’m certain that I won’t be the only one of your readers to write to a departed relative, friend or lover. I thank you for showing me another path to healing a long held grief. Bless you!

— Dancingkatz    Sunday 8 July 2012, 4:30    #

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