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The Prize (NC-17) Print

Written by Sairalinde and Anorienbean

29 July 2006 | 48931 words

Characters: Haldir/Faramir
Rating: NC-17
Beta: sileya
Feedback: Yes, please to sairalinde@hornofgondor.com or thechroniclesofosgiliath@yahoo.com.
Warnings: Mention of past abuse.
Summary: Faramir is given to Haldir of Lórien in payment for an insult to the Elf by Denethor. Alone and afraid, he realizes that things aren't always what they seem.


Chapter 1

Faramir was soundly asleep one moment and being rudely shaken awake by his brother the next. Shoving at his brother’s hands, Faramir growled tiredly under his breath. “What is it, Boromir?”

“I’m so sorry, little one… so sorry, please… you have to wake up before father sends someone else after you… someone not nearly as kind,” Boromir said shaking his brother awake again.

Faramir’s eyes opened blearily for a moment and then closed again as he loosed a heavy sigh. “By the Valar, who has he insulted this time?”

“Faramir, this is serious this time,” Boromir said as his brother sat up.

Faramir could see the alarm and fear in his brother’s eyes and immediately felt coldness grip him. This was not like the other times. Though the first thought to come to mind was that every time had been serious to him. “Serious? Who did he insult?” Faramir asked throwing back the covers and sitting up. The floor was cold where his feet touched it and he shivered.

“The visiting Elves… I… Faramir I’m afraid that this time it is bad…”

“The other times weren’t?” Faramir asked as he stood up and looked at his brother who seemed more worried than any other time before. For a moment the thought flitted through his mind that this same conversation had taken place so many times before and he concluded what a sad state of matters that was.

“Well, yes but… they mean to take you WITH them!”

“With them, but… Gods, what did he DO?” Faramir walked unsteadily toward his wardrobe and Boromir moved ahead of him to start gathering clothing for his little brother.

“With them. He apparently insulted their commanding officer in Lórien… it is a long tale that I don’t even have the half of, but as usual father offered you to… to…”

“To be their whore. You can say it, Boromir. No harm in speaking what is only the truth,” Faramir snapped as he drug his nightshirt from over his head.

Boromir winced at the coarse word he hated in association with his brother. “They said that you would be a companion to some Marchwarden of theirs whom father somehow unwittingly insulted apparently,” Boromir frowned. He hated this. His brother was barely old enough to be a soldier and he had no way to protect him against what his father forced him to do.

“Companion?” Faramir snorted as his brother handed him his tunic. “I find it funny that people tend to place such dignified words in the place of the ones they truly mean such as slave or whore… not even courtesan? Well I suppose not, since I’m no woman.”

“Don’t jest about this, Faramir!” Boromir snapped trying desperately to think of some way to get his brother out of this, short of starting a full out war with Lórien. He watched silently as his too slender younger sibling dressed.

“Well it’s true isn’t it? Father makes a mistake, insults some pompous bit of royalty, or an important noble or enemy even and its time to throw his youngest to them as sacrifice, a piece of meat to appease the hungry lions,” Faramir argued as his brother helped him lace his tunic. “Only it is no sacrifice at all to ‘father’.”

Boromir stared at his younger brother unable to disagree with his assessment. He didn’t like any of it; he hated what his father used Faramir for. It had begun three years earlier when Faramir was training heavily to join the army. Faramir had grown to be a very handsome young man and somehow their father had come to the decision of using his youngest as a bartering chip rather than a soldier. He used Faramir’s being handsome and youthful to his own advantage and in the most degrading manner.

Every time Denethor insulted someone, he would use Faramir to smooth over the problem, by offering him to them ‘for a night’ where they could do whatever they wished with the youngest son of the steward. In the last year or so, Boromir began to notice that the more important nobles seemed to purposefully urge Denethor to lose his temper enough to offend them, just so they could spend a night with the stewards son. That thought made his blood boil in his veins but there was nothing he could do about it for now.

“They are very angry?” Faramir asked suddenly starting to feel nervous. None of the others wanted to take him WITH them before, though he couldn’t say he didn’t like the idea of getting out of Gondor and away from his father, THIS was certainly not how he wanted to do that. What if they intended to use him and then… discard of him? None would even know of it. The only one who would care would be Boromir, but still the thought scared him to his core.

“Very… and… and it’s looking as if I may never see you again,” Boromir added sadly. He wished with all his heart that he could do something to save his brother from this, but even he had failed to make his father see reason.

Faramir looked up at his brother from righting his clothes and felt the same sadness hit him with a sharp pain in his stomach. Even if they didn’t kill him, he still may never see his beloved brother again. All because his father couldn’t seem to hold his tongue with diplomats and was too spineless to make more enemies than he already had.

“Never? Surely he has put a time limit? He always has… .why take me WITH them? I don’t understand it,” Faramir said stepping into his boots. He wondered how his voice could sound so calm when he felt his entire body shaking. He tried to hurry his dressing because he knew from almost three full years of experience that they had little time left. Their father would not give him long to wake and get dressed.

“Because their Marchwarden isn’t with them, and they said he was so gravely insulted that if he came to Gondor it would be with a contingent of Elves… they threatened war and father…”

“Buckled,” Faramir completed the thought with a sigh.

“I’m sorry… Gods, I wish there was something I could do to help you…”

“Short of killing our father?” Faramir laughed humorlessly and shook his head. “It isn’t so terribly bad sometimes.”

“Sometimes?” Boromir asked shocked.

“Sometimes they are kind… sometimes, not always,” Faramir said with a shiver remembering the more unkind ones his father had insulted in the past. His single night with the Haradrim had sent him to the Healing Houses for almost three weeks.

“You can’t say you enjoy it,” Boromir asked backing away from his brother unsure how he felt about that.

“I didn’t say I did! I just said sometimes they are kind and allow me to at least have some release… or… are more gentle than others. I have to take some measure of comfort from those things or I would go mad,” Faramir explained, realizing that his brother was becoming worried that he was enjoying himself. For a moment he thought of how insane it was to actually discuss something like this, but it was the life he’d had thrust upon him.

Though it was true that sometimes it wasn’t as bad as others. There were a few times that perhaps he hadn’t felt quite so dirty afterwards, but they were in fact too few and far between. Most were so angry with his father, that they mistreated him more than they might normally treat another, just to hurt Denethor. Though he suspected if they’d known how little Denethor cared for his youngest son, they might not have taken such joy in the punishments they doled out.

Finally, with all of his clothing in place, Faramir ran his hands thorough his hair and looked at his brother for what could be one of the last times.

“You are certain that he didn’t put a time limit?”

“I don’t know… I know you are to go with them… but maybe it is only for a fortnight?” Boromir said shakily. He had tried his best to work this out with his father, the Elven delegation was small and he’d suggested letting them ride out toward Lórien to tell their leaders of the grave insults… but then ambush them on the road. Their father had vehemently been against that plan, saying that the Elves were powerful warriors and what if one of them got away? They would most certainly be at war then… and the other Elven realms were sure to join them, Gondor couldn’t possibly survive such an onslaught when they are battling the dark forces that spilled from the black gates daily.

“Father should hope so, or he should avoid any sort of diplomacy while I am gone or he will end up in a war,” Faramir mused dryly as he looked at his brother.

“You’ll be back… you have to… it’ll break my heart otherwise,” Boromir said sadly.

“I know… mine as well, but even if I manage escape, Boromir, I will not come back… not to this,” Faramir whispered in return.

Boromir nodded in understanding. He could hardly bear the thought of losing his little brother, but if he did manage to gain his freedom he did feel it would be best for Faramir never to return to Gondor while their father still lived.

Hugging one another briefly, Faramir took one last look around his room thinking that he may never see the meager chamber again, before Boromir escorted him downstairs to the great hall.


Any hopes for a fortnight were dashed away when Faramir entered the hall. Denethor with his lips set in a hard line, simply presented the Elves their ‘prize’ for their Marchwarden and said nothing else.

Feanor watched as the two brothers entered the room and a calculating smile spread across his face. The young man was handsome, that would definitely be a plus in his favor, he thought. Haldir should promote him readily enough now. In truth, he couldn’t stand his arrogant commander, Haldir rarely, if ever, bestowed praise on him and winning any sort of promotion from the Marchwarden was nigh impossible he thought. //Unless you are his brother.// The fact that Rúmil, so much younger than himself had been promoted so quickly in the ranks had angered him greatly but there wasn’t much he could say about it. With this lovely prize though, and his staunch defense of his commander’s honor, he was certain that Haldir would finally see his worth.

When the young man with long copper colored wavy locks and large blue eyes stood before him, Feanor almost felt sorry for the wretch. His own father giving him away like this, and the fact he was to be handed over to none other than Haldir… seemed a horrible fate for one so lovely. But if it assured him of promotion and getting into Haldir’s good favors, it was well worth it.

When Feanor ordered that Faramir’s hands be bound behind his back, Boromir protested vehemently but his protests fell on deaf ears, both the Elves’ and their father’s.

Denethor simply stood near the dais without an ounce of shame evident on his face for the fate he so easily handed out to his youngest son. Faramir had stood proudly before the delegation however and honestly wouldn’t have expected his father to suddenly grow a conscience, let alone a spine. So, he simply held his hands behind his back and allowed himself to be bound. He had learned early on that struggling only made things worse.

Faramir found the situation almost ironic. He had always wanted to be away from Gondor, away from his father and away from his ‘duty’ or whatever it could be called, but escape had been impossible. Denethor guarded Faramir more closely than some of Gondor’s greatest treasures. He tried twice early on to escape but his father’s guards caught him before he had gotten far, and he had been so severely punished he hadn’t tried for a third time. Of course his father had been smart about his punishment, instead of having Faramir flogged for his disobedience where marks would make him an unworthy prize, Denethor selected one of Faramir’s favorite servants and forced him to watch.

Perhaps he would get an opportunity to escape on the way to Lórien or once they arrived there? That was the only hope he could have now that he was bound and his fate had already been sealed.

When more than one of the Elves looked at him lecherously, particularly their leader Feanor, Faramir’s heart began to sink. He was beginning to worry that this may be worse than his time with the Haradrim. For the first time since he had somewhat started to accept his ‘role’ as his father’s whore, everything had suddenly changed and he felt the icy grip of fear slide into the pit of his stomach.

Chapter 2

The trip to Lórien was slow and arduous. The Elves would not allow Faramir to ride a horse, instead they’d attached a leading rope around his neck, and he walked beside their leader’s horse. Many times he fell, a few times he was dragged until he managed to get to his feet again. They seemed to find it amusing each time he fell, speaking of the gracelessness of Men, and the simple idea that he was the steward’s son playing the role of slave seemed to amuse them as well. Little did they know that he truly was his father’s slave….or did they know, after all? Had they heard the stories as far away as Lórien?

Falling for the third time in as many hours, Faramir was dragged over the grassy plain for a few minutes before he managed to scramble back up again. The rope around his neck cut into his skin and burned anew. Gritting his teeth against the pain, he didn’t react at all when Feanor tugged in the slack on his lead and almost caused him to take another tumble to the ground. The hatred that formed in Faramir’s heart for their leader, Feanor, grew more and more each day.

As they walked he listened to the Elves’ stories about this Marchwarden, Haldir, whom he was to be ‘gifted’ to, and the stories grew more frightening each time. He had always imagined Elves to be fair creatures until now. The way the other Elves spoke of this Haldir almost made him imagine him with the blood of thousands on his hands, with eyes filled with the fire of hatred for all and a heavy hand. In fact, it sounded as if Haldir was almost as bad as the Dark Lord himself!

He truly feared that he would not survive a week with this Elf they spoke of, he sounded positively horrific. Each day as he stumbled along beside Feanor’s horse; Faramir felt his hope of escape dash away, besides where would he go? He couldn’t or rather wouldn’t, return to Gondor, and for the moment he had no hope for escape. Even if he were unbound, he wouldn’t be able to run in the exhausted state he was in. Especially against horses - he’d be cut down before he even got started.

The Elves apparently did not know that he could speak their language, and he had been careful to conceal that fact from them. He overheard them say that they would camp tonight and be on the border of Lórien by midday the next day. Tears of joy almost welled up in his eyes just for the fact that at the very least he might not have to walk tomorrow…though if what they said was true, he might not be able to.

They allowed him to sit down near the fire, and one of the Elves handed out small pieces of a wafer-like substance. The gray-eyed Elf started to hand a piece to Faramir who hadn’t eaten in two days, but Feanor slapped it away.

“Don’t feed him. He can eat tomorrow in Lórien,” he snapped in Elvish.

“He’s a Man, Feanor, if he dies from lack of food and exhaustion, he’s of little use as a prize for Haldir…”

“He won’t die, it is only one more day.”

The other Elf looked ready to say something in response, but sighed and walked away to settle down next to his comrades.

Meanwhile, Feanor poured a cup of water, and despite himself, Faramir knew he was looking at the cup covetously. “You want water?” Feanor asked in the common tongue.

“Please?” Faramir croaked, unable to help himself from begging.

Faramir flinched an instant later as the cool water hit his face. He simply bowed his head slightly and licked the water from his lips. He felt grateful for that much — his mouth was so parched. “Thank you,” he managed softly, drawing a laugh from Feanor.

“Oh, he’ll do nicely…I think Haldir will love having someone like this to grovel before him…he does it so well, does he not? Maybe keep our commander off our backs for a while, eh?” Feanor said to the others in Elvish, and a few murmured either approval or some disapproval.

One of the Elves stood up, obviously fed up with Feanor’s teasing of the young Man and crossed to Faramir with his own water skin. “Not even Haldir treats enemy prisoners this badly, Feanor, and you well know it!” The dark-haired Elf snapped. “Here, drink, at least,” he whispered so Faramir could understand.

Feanor’s eyes were burning holes through the other Elf, but he didn’t say anything. As soon as the dark-haired Elf held the water to Faramir’s lips, he didn’t care at all about his situation, just that he had fresh water he desperately needed. He smiled gratefully at the Elf who helped him, but the dark eyes turned away from his and soon he was left sitting alone again.

That night Faramir hardly slept at all, his arms ached as if they were being pulled from their sockets from being tied behind him for so long, and his legs felt as if they were as weak as water. He simply lay against the cold ground wishing he had his cloak that Feanor had taken and tried not to fear the coming day, but it was no use. The closer they got to Lórien, the more fearful he became. This was certainly like no other time before. Even though the Haradrim had nearly killed him, it hadn’t been like this. This constant building fear wasn’t something he’d known before; there had been no time for fear, only pain.

Late into the night he found himself recalling the very first time his father had offered him as a ‘gift’ and how frightened he had been. This was almost worse because he had so little warning then, now he’d had all these days of laborious travel and frightening stories filling his head…as if he were a condemned soul being led to his death. Perhaps he was. There were moments he actually hoped he was.


Arriving on the border of Lórien the next day, Faramir almost wept for joy just knowing that soon he could stop walking. When they entered the woods, however, a number of archers descended from the trees, and he found himself staring wide-eyed at all of the Elves, wondering which one was this Haldir he so feared.

He soon discovered that their Marchwarden was not on duty, and arguing ensued between the Elves who had brought him and the wardens. The words were flying so quickly, Faramir was unable to understand them, and then suddenly the words died away. Feanor drew his knife, and for a moment Faramir feared he’d kill him, but then realized he hadn’t been given to their commander yet. They couldn’t kill him now!

Before he could even flinch away, the knife whipped down the front of his tunic, rending it in half and exposing his chest to the cold winter air. He shivered and staggered back slightly as all the Elves watched. The wardens who had joined them looked disapproving, but Faramir hadn’t time to think of that before his breeches were cut from him as well.

“Haldir should be able to see what a fine specimen we have brought him,” Feanor announced with a debauched grin.

One of the wardens, however, stepped forward and jerked Feanor back before his hand could travel down Faramir’s body, as it looked poised to do. Then somehow matters deteriorated into him being tossed between the different Elves like a child’s plaything. With his hands bound as they were, all he could do was stumble from one Elf to another and fall against them. He was naked, cold, tired, and more than afraid.

He saw one tall slender blond Elf look at him with what could only be disgust and turn away. The next time he was spun and thrown against another Elf, he saw the blond running away into the woods. Obviously at least one Elf was above this display.

Faramir could hear the Elves arguing over the fray, and one of the wardens pulled him close and yelled some words in Elvish that his befuddled mind couldn’t understand at all. Feanor screamed something in return, and suddenly Faramir was jerked painfully from the warden’s arms.

Feanor held the lead rope around Faramir’s neck wound around his hand to control him, but one of the other Elves grabbed onto it as if to jerk Faramir away from the evil Elf who’d brought him here. He felt as if his neck might snap, and the raw skin burned even more.

Again and again Faramir was jerked around like a rag doll, and after what seemed an eternity, he stumbled forward blindly and slammed squarely into a broad chest that was heaving from running. His cheek was pressed against the Elf’s chest, and he could hear the heart thundering there. Unable to gain his footing, Faramir sank to his knees and bowed forward, his face almost touching the ground as he dragged in a ragged breath.

“So he already bows before Haldir!” Feanor shouted with a loud laugh.

//Haldir?! Oh Gods…Gods, just let him do whatever he wishes to me and then kill me.//


Haldir had been in his talan, talking to Rúmil and Orophin as they shared the noon meal. Long before Orin, the Elf who had run from the fray near the border, was in sight, Haldir and his brothers had heard him.

Stopping only to grab his cloak before sprinting down the winding stairway of his talan, Haldir, always the fastest and strongest of the three, met Orin under a thick cover of mallorn trees several hundred yards from his talan. The gasping Elf had managed to convey that there was trouble with Feanor at the border, that he was scuffling with the Marchwardens, and he had a Man with him…a Man who looked exhausted and was bound with ropes around his wrists and another around his neck, a Man Feanor was delivering to Haldir, but who was not an enemy.

Without letting Orin finish his tale, Haldir’s face had flushed, and he’d run quickly to the border, his anger at Feanor already taking hold. Feanor was a conniving, selfish Elf who stood no chance of advancing in rank as long as Haldir was his commander, and it seemed that this time, the foolish Elf had finally crossed the line, scuffling with the Marchwardens who guarded the border.

While few but his brothers knew Haldir well, the Elves under his command both revered and hated him. In his view, guarding the borders of the Golden Wood, keeping their Lord and Lady, their family and friends and their homes safe, was all that mattered. He had little time for friendship or idle chatter, and no one but Rúmil and Orophin ever got to see him smile or relax his stiff and demanding demeanor, and then only if no other Elves were around.

The sounds of fighting grew louder as Haldir drew closer, and almost before he knew it, he was on the outer edge of a circle of Elves, which parted before his grim command. His eyes sought out Feanor and Malin, one of his most devoted Marchwardens, who were coming to blows before his very eyes.

Before Haldir could speak, however, a Man, hands bound and a rope knotted tightly around his neck, was shoved in his direction and fell to his knees before him. The Man wore not a stitch of clothing, and though Haldir could not see his face, he saw the naked body before him was trembling and dirty.

Without a word, Haldir stared at Feanor, his eyes alone freezing every Elf before him. Keeping their gazes locked, he saw fear flood Feanor’s features and knew the arrogant Elf had every reason to be afraid. His fingers deftly unhooked the clasp of his cloak, and without looking down; he wrapped it around the Man before him. “Stay here,” he said softly before moving forward and stopping mere inches from Feanor.

“What have you done?” Haldir’s voice was deceptively calm though his face was still flushed with anger and his eyes were cold.

Feanor tried to back away, but found long fingers wrapping around his arms from behind, keeping him in place. He dared a glance over his shoulder and saw Rúmil, who was little better than Haldir in situations like these. “I…I brought this Man to you from Gondor. As…a gift. A prize. The steward insulted you, and…”

“And?” Haldir moved closer and curled his fingers around Feanor’s tunic, lifting him so the other Elf’s feet barely touched the ground. Not a sound could be heard around them despite the dozens of Elves who were watching closely, each knowing better than to say or do anything that might anger Haldir further.

Feanor’s heart was pounding in his chest as he wondered if taking the young Man from the steward had been the best idea after all. “And…I demanded retribution for his insult. He…he offered his son to be your…your companion, as an apology.”

“So you just took him?”

“I… well, yes…”

“So,” Haldir said, still speaking slowly and calmly, as if Feanor were an Elfling who could barely understand his words. “Since when do we take prisoners from races we are NOT at war with, Feanor? Because I, for one, have not been informed of this new rule.”

Feanor was shaking now, even more so than Faramir. He could tell that this wasn’t going at all as planned…and he seriously doubted bringing this Man to Haldir was going to earn him a promotion after all. “I…thought…I thought you would be pleased…”

Haldir lifted Feanor up another inch. “Do I look pleased, Feanor? Do I look happy that you took a prisoner from a city we are trying to keep peace with?”

“Please, Hald…sir, please. I’m sorry…I…” Before he could finish his thought, Feanor noticed that Rúmil had quickly moved from behind him. //That can’t be good…// Haldir easily launched him into the air, and he was helpless to do anything but scream as he came to rest in a decidedly ungraceful heap at the foot of a tree. Before he could even catch his breath, Haldir was before him again, eyes no longer cold, but blazing with anger, and he was dragged to his feet again without word.

“If you have started a war with Gondor over this,” Haldir said as he slammed Feanor’s back against the tree, “I will make you wish you had never left Lórien, Feanor. Keep that in mind.” Without releasing his quarry, Haldir looked over his shoulder and found Rúmil. “Take him to the prisoner’s quarters and guard him, Rúmil. Do not let him speak to anyone until I give you further orders.”

Rúmil nodded and wrapped his fingers around Feanor’s arms in a tight grip, amazed as always at the change in his brother before his troops. This was not the Elf he had been chatting with over their meal only moments before, and he, too, slid easily into the role of Marchwarden, leaving the role of brother far behind as Haldir insisted they do while on duty.

“You are a fool,” Haldir hissed at Feanor before releasing him into Rúmil’s custody.

Turning toward one of Feanor’s captain’s, Haldir nodded toward the Man who was still on the ground where he’d left him, Haldir’s cloak clutched firmly around his body, still trembling. “Did any of you hurt him?”

“No, sir,” the frightened captain shook his head. “Though…”

Feanor glared at the other Elf, but yelped loudly as Rúmil tightened his grip.

“Yes?” Haldir didn’t bother looking in Feanor’s direction.

“He has walked all the way from Gondor and has had little to eat or drink on the journey. He has, in fact, had only a bit of water for the last three days, and no food.”

Haldir crouched next to the man on the ground and tried to see his face. “Rúmil, I think Feanor should live under the same conditions until I figure out what to do about this situation. No food, no water…and take the bedding and the blankets from his quarters. Let him experience what my new ‘companion’ has experienced since he was shown the hospitality of the Elves.”

Afraid to touch the Man just yet, Haldir nodded toward Rúmil, who drug Feanor away at once. “The rest of you…go to your talan. I am not pleased that you let him do this… especially that you let this man practically starve. I thought better of most of you than this. Now…take your leave, before I really lose my temper.”

The Elves scattered at once, even Orophin, who had watched the entire scene quietly from the outside edges of the circle.

When Haldir was alone with the man, he rested one hand on his shoulder. “What is your name?” he asked softly.

Faramir was shivering uncontrollably as he lay on the ground. He kept his head down submissively, but when he heard Feanor scream he looked up to see the Elf flying backwards through the air and another Elf advancing on him. He realized in horror that the other Elf was Haldir. His fear of the Marchwarden grew even more, and he dropped his head back down not wanting to be caught watching.

He found that he couldn’t seem to process enough of the Elvish that was being spoken or rather yelled around him; his mind was just too weary to even attempt to translate it. When the noise of the fight seemed to die down, Faramir felt a hand touch his shoulder and he flinched. In his fear, he didn’t notice the compassion in the Elf’s eyes nor hear the softly spoken words. Automatically and without his mind fully engaging to realize how fruitless it was, he scrambled up, throwing off the warm cloak in his fear and bolting away from the Elves and into the trees. His mind didn’t even think about how cold it was or that he was naked, only that he was terrified of what would become of him - he had to get away.

The anger Haldir felt at Feanor grew as the frightened young Man bolted away, and he wondered just how far they’d gone in their treatment of their ‘gift’ to him. //So help me if they have injured him, they will pay tenfold…// Grabbing his cloak, he stood for a moment, helplessly watching the man run away, knowing that chasing him would only frighten him more. As the bitter wind picked up, however, Haldir knew the man would not get far with nothing to protect him from the elements and took off after him, though not trying to overtake him just yet. “Wait! You’ll freeze! By the Valar, STOP!”

Faramir could hear the Elf who had knelt down beside him take flight behind him, and he knew as his mind began to overrule his terror that he would be no match for him in his current state. Hearing the words shouted to him, Faramir feared stopping, but he had no choice, his legs were too tired, his lungs burned, and his head was pounding with each step. Before he knew it, he slumped down next to a tree, holding himself upright with a firm grip on the smooth bark and waited for his new 'master' to either collect him or punish him for trying to run.

Haldir easily caught up with his ‘prize’ and stopped a few feet away from him, seeing that he was truly terrified. //And no wonder…he probably thinks all Elves are like Feanor. Gods, when I get my hands on him again…// He couldn’t help but notice the clear blue eyes that stared at him wearily and thought that never before had he seen a Man so fair. “You’ll freeze,” he said softly as he held his cloak back out to the shivering form that seemed to be clinging to the tree with all his might. “Here… take my cloak.”

Faramir watched with wide eyes as the Elf approached and carefully held the cloak out to him. His mind was torn with the image that had been implanted there by the Elves who'd brought him to Lórien and the image that was before him. The Elf was beautiful. That threw Faramir; he was certain the others had called him Haldir, but this is was not what he had expected. For the moment he pushed those thoughts away and reached out a trembling hand to take the cloak held between them. "Thank you, master," he whispered softly. When he released the tree to pull the cloak around him though his legs finally gave out without the support, and he collapsed forward into the Elf's arms. He looked up to apologize for his behavior and for probably dirtying Haldir's clothing just before his eyes rolled back in his head and he fainted from exhaustion, no food, and hardly any sleep for the last several days.

Haldir blinked in surprise as he heard the word ‘master’, but before he could protest, his arms were full and the shivering young man had collapsed against him. He saw the clear blue eyes he’d just been admiring stare up at him for a moment before they closed, and the body in his arms went limp. “Gods, what have they done to you?” Carefully gathering the man in his arms, he tucked his cloak tightly around already ice-cold skin and held Faramir to his chest, hoping to at least share his own body heat. He quickly made his way back to his talan, holding the young man close, and minutes later, he was making his way up the winding staircase.

When he reached the top, he removed his cloak and winced as he saw the bluish tint that colored the tips of his charge’s fingers and toes, and try as he might, he couldn’t help but notice the lithe muscles that lay under smooth, pale skin. After a moment, he dragged his eyes away guiltily and laid Faramir on the bed, where he piled several blankets over him and gently rubbed his hands, hoping to restore the circulation.
“Can you hear me, pen velui (lovely one)?” he asked softly. “Squeeze my hand if you can…you don’t have to speak.”

Faramir was lost in a world of darkness, completely oblivious to what was going on around him or even happening to him at the moment. He could feel blessed warmth though and burrowed against it and then suddenly he felt the warmth disappear. He moaned in protest, but then he felt warmth, not nearly as comforting as before, surround him. Distantly he could hear a voice speaking to him, but he couldn't seem to bring himself awake long enough to respond. When it said to squeeze his hand, he did so weakly, realizing just then that his fingers were numb with cold. //Maybe I'm dying? That might be for the best.//

Smiling as he felt the fingers around his own squeezing every so slightly, Haldir closed his eyes in relief. At least the man could hear him, so maybe there was hope. The man before him was young and obviously exhausted, and Haldir’s heart went out to him, wishing he’d never had to experience the kind of treatment Feanor had no doubt doled out to him on their journey from Gondor. He continued gently rubbing the icy fingers, and letting his hands move along the young man’s hands and forearms, hoping to give him at least some measure of warmth. “I’m so sorry this happened to you,” Haldir whispered softly as his hands continued to move over frozen skin, in a tone of voice none of his troops ever had or ever would hear. “But you’re safe now, and Feanor will be punished for hurting you. Just relax, and when you wake, I will have food and drink…and we will talk…first about this ‘master’ thing, before we discuss anything else, I hope.”

Faramir sank further into the darkness, his body aching from cold but slowly starting to warm. He wasn't sure if he was dreaming the touches he felt, but he was grateful for the comfort. He loosed a soft sigh as he snuggled under the covers over him even more, having no clue that Haldir was the one watching over him and touching him so gently.

Haldir smiled as he watched his companion burrow underneath the covers, charmed by the soft sigh that fell from his lips and the way his eyelashes curled up over his cheeks. //He is certainly lovely…I wonder if his father is missing him already? Surely he would feel the pain of losing such a beautiful son.// Settling back in a chair by the bed, Haldir pulled the one remaining blanket up over him and reached out to brush the hair back from the Faramir’s forehead. “You are safe,” he assured the young man one more time before leaning his head back to rest.

Chapter 3

Faramir was unsure how long he'd slept, and as he woke warmly ensconced in a bed, he turned from his back onto his side. When he did, he saw his new master sitting in a chair beside the bed. That surprised him. He was also again surprised how beautiful Haldir was. He expected him to be dark and foreboding. The golden beauty before him did not fit well at all with the picture he had formed in his mind of the Elf based on what he’d been led to believe. Faramir suddenly realized maybe that was how Haldir was so effective at putting fear into others, alluringly beautiful yet merciless. However, Haldir had brought him here to a bed to rest, and he chose to take a chair rather than crawling into the bed with Faramir and taking what was his right from his ‘prize’. Perhaps he wanted his slave to be conscious for the act? With an almost sickening feeling of wicked madness, Faramir thought for a moment that he wouldn’t mind it so much. Haldir was beautiful…if he was at least somewhat tolerable, then might Faramir actually be comfortable here? Strangely, Haldir had brought him to a bed and apparently had put a soothing salve on the rope burns around his neck and wrists. None of his other 'masters' had treated him with that much kindness.

He shifted on the bed slightly, causing it to creak, and he watched as Haldir's eyes came into focus upon him. Suddenly his fear coiled through him again. What if the Elf was angry? What he if thought Faramir was weak? So many thoughts raced through his mind that he flinched and scooted back against the wall behind him and stared wide-eyed at the Elf. Before he could stop himself, an apology was on his lips. "I'm sorry to be so much trouble, master. You should take your bed, I can sleep in the floor," his voice was rough, and his throat ached now that he'd spoken. He trembled slightly and cursed himself for it, and then pushed the many blankets from over him and scooted back to the edge of the bed before Haldir could move.

Haldir was amazed at the play of emotions he could see in the young man’s eyes before he scrambled across the bed and began shaking once again. And it didn’t escape him that he’d been called ‘master’ for the second time in less than two days. “You’re not sleeping on the floor,” he said, forcing himself not to lean forward and frighten his companion any further. “And there’s no reason to be sorry. You’ve done nothing wrong. Please…just relax and talk to me for a moment. Let’s get this all straightened out, and see what’s wrong with you. You sound as if you’re getting sick.” //Thanks to that fool Feanor, no doubt.//

Faramir stared at Haldir for a moment wondering if he truly was being kind or if it were some sort of test. “I… I am fine," Faramir whispered looking down. "You… you are not pleased with me, are you? You… do not want me, do you?" he asked, wondering if perhaps the other Elves were mistaken about Haldir's tastes. Maybe he wasn't attracted to males or… at least not Men, or maybe not him. For some reason that thought bothered Faramir, and he looked up at Haldir, who was looking at him oddly.

Haldir’s mouth dropped open for a moment and he moved forward almost unconsciously to sit on the edge of the bed. “I am not pleased with Feanor or his troops, for the way they took you and the way they treated you,” he said after a moment. “But I do think you are incredibly lovely, and I cannot deny that I would love to get to know you better. You are not, however, my slave, and I am not your master. I was hoping we could start out as…friends. It’s not that I don’t want you…intimately…it’s just that…I hate seeing you so afraid when there is no reason to be.”

Faramir jumped slightly when Haldir moved to sit beside him but then Haldir's words sank in. //Friends? He's treating me as an equal?// "But… I was brought here because my father insulted you, he sent me to prevent a war between Lórien and Gondor. I… am afraid I don't understand. You… you want to be friends?" he asked, the word ‘friends’ feeling almost foreign on his tongue.

“Yes,” Haldir smiled, resisting the urge to take the man’s hand in his own. “Friends. Feanor was wrong to take you. I do not know what kind of insult your father made toward me, but taking a prisoner is not the way I prefer to handle it. Knowing Feanor, he was trying to get in my good graces by taking you, but he had no right. Please accept my apologies for his actions and know that he will be punished.”

As he spoke, Haldir reached behind him to the small nightstand and produced a tray piled with food and warm tea that he’d gathered while Faramir slept. “You must be hungry. Please…don’t be afraid. Eat your fill, my friend. This is all for you.”

"I'm not a prisoner," Faramir said softly. "There is no reason to apologize, really, Feanor only did what countless others have. You are not the first I have been gifted to in such a manner," Faramir explained, and then his words trailed off as Haldir turned and produced a tray covered with more food than he'd had in ages. Even at home his father didn't allow him much in the way of meals. "I… that is… I haven't seen this much food in years," the words spilled from his lips before he could stop himself. It wasn't exactly true, he'd seen it at the dinner table the few times the last few years he'd been allowed to dine with his father and brother, but none of it was ever for him.

Haldir’s face flushed as his anger turned from Feanor to the young man’s father. “Your…your father ‘gives’ you to others?” he repeated softly, not even realizing he was still holding the tray, instead of giving it to Faramir. “I…I was going to see if you wanted me to escort you back to your home, but…I just…Gods. I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say. But…you are not my prisoner, and you are under my protection, so I can promise you that no one will touch you against your will. And you shall have all the food and drink you wish, if that helps any. Here…” Gently settling the tray over Faramir’s legs, Haldir realized his hands were shaking and quickly drew them back. “Let’s start with you telling me your name…though I cannot promise that I won’t slip and call you pen velui now and then, for you truly are beautiful.”

Faramir stared at Haldir for a moment when he said he would escort him back home. His mind seemed to tune out anything else only hearing the words escort you back to your home and sending him into a panic. "Please… I'll do anything you ask of me, Haldir… anything if you don't send me back. I will do anything you wish, any task, and if… if you decide you wish to take me, I will not need to be bound… well… unless that is your pleasure, then I will not mind. I just… wish not to return home," Faramir said softly in a rush of words, hardly realizing in his sudden fear of being sent back that Haldir had set the tray in his lap. He looked up quickly and stared at Haldir, who was looking at him, equally as surprised, and then it dawned on him that Haldir’s words had not been what he thought they were at first. Embarrassed for overreacting, he looked down at the tray. "Faramir… my name is Faramir… " he whispered. Others had called him beautiful before, but no one had ever made him FEEL beautiful until Haldir said the words.

Seeing how upset Faramir was, Haldir reached out one hand and rested it over the young man’s arm, squeezing gently. “Faramir…please. I would never send you back against your will, and I certainly would never bind you…I…Gods, what have you been through? No… wait. You don’t have to answer that. For now, just relax and eat your fill. You will not be expected to do any tasks, and though I think I would love to spend many, many hours exploring your body, I would not even consider doing so until you would wish for it, as well.”

Feeling the heat of Haldir's hand against his arm somehow seemed to calm Faramir, and he looked up at the Elf, realizing how foolish he had been. He flushed and looked down. "I'm sorry… I am not used to my… used to… being spoken to like this. Normally… the others they… well… thank you for your generosity. As soon as I'm feeling strong enough from the trek here, though, I will go and won't be any more trouble to you than I already have been." He picked up the cup of tea that was still warm and drank slowly, feeling it ease his sore throat. He wondered if Haldir would wish some sort of payment for his food and shelter? He said that he would love to explore his body, and he was far kinder so far than any had been to him in the past. He found that he certainly didn't mind the idea of being with Haldir in that manner.

“There is no need to thank me,” Haldir said softly, as his hand moved to carefully brush a lock of hair behind Faramir’s ear before he even realized what he was doing. “And you aren’t any trouble. Please…don’t even think of leaving until you feel that you are ready. You are more than welcome to share my talan with me for as long as you like. In fact…” Tilting his head back to smile at Faramir as he slowly moved his hand back to rest on the bed beside him. “In fact, I would love for you to stay here. I have few friends and rarely have anyone to talk to except my brothers, so the longer you stay, the happier I will be. But you are free to leave whenever you wish, and I promise, you will never again be bound within these borders.”

Faramir found himself smiling despite himself as Haldir brushed his hair back. No one had ever touched him so tenderly, aside from Boromir, though it never stirred in him the same feeling as he'd experienced when Haldir did it. "Stay? I… in truth, I have nowhere else to go… but I will not impose on your generosity for too long," he whispered softly. When Haldir promised he'd never again be bound within Lórien a part of him rejoiced in that, though a more wicked part of him thought yet again he wouldn't mind - if Haldir were the one to do so. He nearly blushed from that thought and dropped his eyes back to the food. Slowly he began to eat his fill, which wasn't all that much since he was not accustomed to eating very much to begin with, and he'd gone without for so many days. His eyes were heavy, though, and he stifled a yawn. "Are you certain you do not wish to have your bed back?"

“I am quite certain.” Haldir smiled, feeling unaccountably happy that Faramir no longer wished to leave just yet. //Gods, I could just stare at him for hours…though I would love to run my fingers over his skin as well. And my lips…I bet no one has ever kissed every inch of his body before…// Shaking his head at himself, he could see that his young friend was getting tired again. “If you are finished eating, please, feel free to crawl back under the covers and rest, mellonamin (my friend). You have no need of worrying about anything at all. I will make sure of that.”

Faramir smiled as Haldir spoke and handed the tray back to him. "Thank you," he whispered and lay down, sliding under the covers. Haldir was still on the edge of the bed, and he reached out tentatively to touch his hand. "You are not at all as I was led to believe," he whispered before continuing, "I was led to believe you were cruel and cold, brutal, in fact… yet the reality is so much different." Then he remembered how powerful Haldir was when he fought with Feanor. "Or perhaps you are only taking pity on me that others wouldn't recognize in you… at any rate, I am grateful." His eyes were slipping closed of their own accord, but he fought it for as long as he could, unable to take his eyes from Haldir. The Elf was truly more beautiful than anyone he had ever seen.

Haldir curled his fingers around Faramir’s and smiled. “I let myself be cruel and cold with my troops,” he admitted softly. “But that is only because I see no place for friendship when the safety of our homes and our land, not to mention our Lord and Lady, are concerned.” His free hand moved to brush Faramir’s hair back from his forehead again, and he found he couldn’t quite bring himself to look away from the sleepy young man who’d obviously suffered much pain and unhappiness in his short lifetime. “Let’s just let this side of me stay between us, shall we?”

Faramir smiled conspiratorially at Haldir and nodded once. "They won't know of your kindness from me unless you wish it," he whispered softly. His eyes finally sank closed, and he began to drift to sleep. His body still ached from his ordeal, but now at least he was warm, fed, and comfortable. It seemed strange that the one person he had feared the most on his way here turned out to be the one person he felt the safest with. He would take what friendship and time here Haldir offered, and then one day move on so that Haldir could be left in peace. He was certain that he didn't wish to have Faramir there forever, just at least until he was well enough to make it on his own. Haldir was honorable… more so than he could have ever imagined. He'd admitted his attraction, but not acted on it… Faramir had never experienced that, and if Haldir hadn't admitted it, he truly would have thought he did absolutely nothing for the Elf. At least his own attraction, or perhaps hero worship at this point, wasn't one sided. He liked that idea… of finally having someone who looked at him as something other than a plaything or a prize. He fell asleep with a slight smile on his face despite his raw throat and aching body.

Haldir watched as Faramir drifted off to sleep, wondering about the smile on his face even as he began to snore softly. “You are incredibly beautiful,” he repeated, “I only wish I could erase all the pain you’ve been through and know how to make you smile every moment of every day, for you are even more breathtaking when you’re happy.” With a soft sigh, he brought their still entwined hands up to his lips and pressed a kiss to Faramir’s fingertips. When he finished, he gently tucked his new friend’s hand underneath the covers and settled back into the chair, determined to keep watch over him for as long as he had the pleasure of the Man’s company.


Faramir felt as if his skin were on fire, yet he was freezing at the same time. He realized as he woke that his teeth were chattering even as sweat beaded on his forehead. He rolled on the bed, pushing the covers down and letting the cooler air of the room wash over his flushed skin. He shivered again and moaned. His body ached, and he couldn't decide which was worse - the feeling of being cold or hot. He felt a cool hand press against his forehead, and he leaned into the touch slightly, though he didn't open his eyes. It was as if his very bones had turned to ice, yet his skin burned like the fires of Mordor and he shifted restlessly on the bed. "Boromir," he murmured, "hurts." It was all he could think of to describe how he felt, but he knew his brother would make him feel better. He always did.

Haldir woke as soon as Faramir started mumbling in his sleep. Quickly moving closer, he brushed his hand over the sweat-soaked forehead and tried to soothe him. He could feel the heat radiating from Faramir and knew at once, that on top of everything else the young man had been through, he was now sick and feverish. As the word ‘Boromir’ was murmured more than once, he couldn’t help but wonder if this was Faramir’s lover or someone he at least wished to return to, even though he’d said he had no place to go. Despite himself, he felt a twinge of jealousy, even though he knew he had no right.

After a moment, Haldir left only long enough to soak a washcloth in cool water and gently bathe Faramir’s face. “I know it hurts,” he said softly. “I wish I could take your pain away, dear one…or at least make it more bearable.”

Faramir sighed when a cool cloth was pressed against his forehead, and his eyes opened slightly, seeing not his brother but Haldir leaning over him with a worried look in his bright blue eyes. "You've pretty eyes," Faramir murmured. He was so feverish he couldn't seem to think straight and didn't even consider not saying such a thing to Haldir. If he'd been well, he would never have spoken, at least not in such a childish manner. Haldir did have very beautiful eyes, though.

Haldir laughed softly and continued moving the cloth over Faramir’s face, then down on to his neck, which was also wet with sweat. The salve he’d applied earlier to the rope burns had soothed them a bit, but the sweat was undoubtedly doing more harm than good, despite the ointment. “You have pretty eyes as well,” Haldir said softly. “That was the first thing I noticed about you, in fact. You also have a lovely smile. I hope you will let me see it more often.”

Faramir smiled despite how bad he felt, Haldir's touch was so soothing, and his softly spoken words easily drew a smile from him. He hissed slightly when the cloth rubbed against his neck where his skin was still raw from the rope but he quickly bit his lip when Haldir's hand stilled. "Just… a little sore," he whispered. His voice he realized was very rough, and his throat ached more than it had earlier. "Sorry you are having to take care of me… really some prize. If you hadn't turned out to be so kind I don't know what would have become of me."

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Haldir whispered, drawing his hand away and shaking his head. “Seldom do I get a chance to take care of anyone, and you, my friend, look like you are going to need some looking after for a while. I think your…journey weakened you. I’m sorry for what Feanor put you through, but I must say, I am happy to have you here. I didn’t realize how lonely I was until I looked over at you while you were sleeping and thought how nice it would be to simply sit at home and talk to someone.” Wetting the cloth again, he resumed bathing Faramir’s face, careful this time not to touch the raw areas of his neck, which he would treat again later with the salve.

Faramir smiled slightly as Haldir continued to take care of him. No one had ever cared for him like this except Boromir; even as a child it was always his brother. "Despite how I got here, I'm glad I am here now. I wish my brother Boromir could know that I'm safe, though… he worries about me," he whispered softly to keep from straining his throat. Haldir's touch was soothing, and even though he felt like an entire company of orcs had marched over him, it didn't seem quite so bad. He shivered and pulled the covers up. The cool water on his face was helping to even out his body temperature. "I hope you don't catch this."

“I won’t,” Haldir assured him, smiling to himself when Faramir said that Boromir was his brother. //Maybe he isn’t in love with anyone then…// “Elves rarely get sick unless they are wounded or fading, so don’t worry about me. I have some herbs I can seep into a cup of tea that will help, and as soon as you feel up to writing your brother a note, I will have one of my brothers deliver it to him personally, if you would like. Is there anything else I can do to make you feel better? I feel it is all my fault you are sick in the first place.”

"I would love to send a message, but Haldir, how can it be your fault I'm sick?" Faramir asked, surprised. "You weren't even there!" He suddenly covered his mouth and coughed and shook his head. "There is no reason for you to feel at fault. How would you know my father would insult you and your men take offense… and how could anyone imagine that my father would give me away like that to placate those he upsets." He smiled sadly after a moment. "In the last three years I have probably helped to keep Gondor from being overrun by one insulted enemy or ally turned enemy. Father… is no diplomat so… he used me to smooth over his mistakes."

Haldir was momentarily speechless as he pictured all manner of men and the Valar-only-knew-who-else being appeased by Faramir for his father’s mistakes. “If Feanor hadn’t thought to get into my good graces by bringing you here…but then again, it…” He had to look away for a moment, unused to showing so much emotion, but he could not keep the pain from his voice as he spoke. “But then again,” he continued, “it got you away from your father, and if nothing else, you are now assured of your safety. The next time you take a lover, it will be someone you choose…not someone who has a grudge against your father.” He hadn’t even realized it, but as he spoke, his hand rested over Faramir’s cheek and his thumb ran gently over damp skin. “You deserve so much happiness, my lovely one. I hope you will find it one day. And I hope I can help you.”

Faramir reached up from under the covers to curl his fingers around Haldir's wrist. "You already are," he whispered. He was starting to feel more comfortable again, and his eyes were getting heavy once more. "I am sorry that I'm such poor company though… I'm already starting to fall asleep again," He found he didn't wish to succumb to sleep, and as he thought of Haldir's words about taking a lover, he wondered if Haldir would ever want him. Or would he think he was unclean after being his father's whore? He swallowed hard at that thought and grimaced from the pain of doing so. Part of him wished to ask Haldir to stay with him, to crawl into the bed with him, but he couldn't seem to bring voice to it. He wasn't shy- any idea of shame had long since left him after all he'd been forced to do - but he suddenly felt unaccountably shy with Haldir and wasn't sure why.

Haldir once again lifted Faramir’s hand to his lips and kissed his fingertips, though this time, he did it while his friend could see him, not while he was asleep. “You aren’t poor company at all,” he said softly. “I’ll brew you some tea. You rest for a while, and then I’ll wake you when it’s ready. After that, I think you’ll rest easier and start to feel better. If you can stand it, I’ll put more salve on the wounds around your neck as well. They look quite painful.”

Enthralled, Faramir watched as Haldir's lips brushed across his fingers, and he felt a different sort of heat than that of his fever surge through him. "That tea sounds wonderful, Haldir… and the salve would be nice, too. My neck does ache… suppose I should have worn a higher collar," he said, smiling to let Haldir know he was only teasing. As Haldir started to move away, Faramir watched how graceful he was. He was powerfully built but lithe and graceful at the same time. "When… when I've had the tea and the salve… would you… would you mind… never mind… it isn't important."

Haldir sat back down at once and shook his head. “It is important if you thought it,” he said softly. “What were you going to ask me?”

Faramir felt his face flush even more than it already was from his fever. "I… I was going… to ask if you'd stay… I mean with me here… if… if you'd hold me?" he asked, feeling like a foolish child for asking.

Biting his lip as Faramir’s face flushed an even deeper shade of red, Haldir was completely entranced at the look in his eyes. “Of course I will,” he whispered. “I would be more than happy to hold you, for as long as you want me to. Please…don’t feel ashamed of asking.” His heart skipped a beat at the very thought of holding Faramir, even though he was sick and only in need of comfort and body heat. He couldn’t help but think that in moments, however, he would get to wrap his arms around his new friend, and that thought alone made him happier than he thought possible. “Give me a few moments, and I’ll be back with the tea, then I will snuggle under the covers with you and get you nice and warm.”

Faramir found his heart warm as Haldir said that he would snuggle under the covers with him. Just the idea that the Elf who was so feared by his wardens would even consider snuggling made Faramir smile. "Thank you," he replied softly as he watched Haldir get up again and leave the room. Faramir couldn't believe how different this was all turning out than he imagined. //How could Feanor possibly believe that Haldir would be so cruel as he described? Even if he isn't 'close' to his men… how could they believe he'd be anything but honorable?// Faramir thought back to the gray-eyed Elf's words about Haldir not even treating enemies that badly, when he gave Faramir water from his own supply. Now that he could believe. He closed his eyes and settled back against his pillow waiting for Haldir as he drifted in and out of sleep.

Haldir returned almost a quarter of an hour later with a cup of herb-seeped tea in one hand and parchment and a feathered quill in the other. Unable to suppress a smile as he saw Faramir asleep, he laid the parchment aside, planning on writing a letter to Faramir’s brother if Faramir himself didn’t feel up to the task when he awoke. He could only imagine how much Boromir missed his little brother and worried about him, especially after seeing him being taken away by Feanor and his comrades. Sliding under the covers, Haldir slid one arm underneath Faramir’s shoulders and smiled down at him. “Wake up, dear one,” he whispered, noticing that the young man was still feverish and shivering. “Drink some tea for me, and then you can sleep as long as you need to.”

Faramir was sleeping, though not soundly, when he felt a body slide into the bed next to his own. He sighed and rolled toward the other body, snuggling close to the warmth. After a moment he realized someone was speaking to him, and he opened his eyes to regard Haldir sleepily. "Haldir?" he asked wearily. His body was still fighting the fever, and he nodded. "Tea… and sleep… both sound good. Promise I'll pay you back soon," he whispered sleepily. His mind was still foggy from sleep and the fever, but he scooted in the bed to sit up and lean against Haldir's chest. "You're warm."

Keeping his arm firmly around Faramir, Haldir chuckled softly. “You’re warm, too, though I know you don’t feel like you are.” He could see a thin sheen of sweat on Faramir’s forehead, yet he continued to shiver and burrow even closer to Haldir’s warmth. As he held the tea to his friend’s lips, he could tell how much effort it was taking him to stay upright. “Please…don’t worry about paying me back. You owe me nothing. Just…promise you won’t tell anyone I’m snuggling, and we’ll call it even, all right?” His voice was teasing, but he was more serious that Faramir knew. He simply couldn’t bear the thoughts of his troops seeing this side of him, fearing that it would make him seem soft and would result in him losing control of those under his command.

Faramir laughed softly. "Won't hear it from me," he whispered. He took a drink of the tea and grimaced as his throat ached at first, but after a few moments he could feel his raw throat relax just a bit from the warm liquid and herbs. He sniffled and without realizing it rested his head against Haldir's shoulder. He was so weak and tired, of course he'd had a cold before, but this was one of the more miserable ones, he was sure. He might not have caught it if Feanor hadn't taken his cloak away from him. "I hate to ask any more of you, but would you do something for me, please?"

“Of course, pen velui,” Haldir smiled, holding the cup steady in Faramir’s shaking hands. “Anything.”

Looking up at Haldir he smiled slightly from the Elvish endearment, still unsure what to make of that. "Feanor took my cloak away from me before we even got outside the gates at home… he said I was little more than property and that I didn't deserve such a grand cloak, but it was a gift from my brother. It was to keep me warm because it has been so cold lately… he put it in his saddlebag, and I don't know what has become of it. It is all I own now that my clothes were destroyed and… I would like it back, if that's possible."

Biting his tongue to keep from lashing out at Feanor, Haldir schooled his features and rubbed his hand gently over the small of Faramir’s back. “I will see that it is returned to you,” he promised. “When you write to your brother, if you would like him to send you any of your belongings, please, feel free to ask him. I will have Rúmil deliver the message, and he can bring back whatever you wish. I can always send more Elves with him to carry everything you can think of. I have plenty of room, and you are more than welcome to have your own belongings around you.”

"I… I don't have many belongings," Faramir said softly. "I have a few books that Boromir would sneak into my room and clothing… but that is all. Nothing else that I had before is… is mine any longer. My father… didn't believe that I had need of anything more." He felt uncomfortable discussing that with Haldir and sighed heavily. "Anyway, at least you won't have to worry about me taking up much space before I leave."

Haldir pulled Faramir closer and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “You seem awfully anxious to leave,” he said after a moment. “Though I can understand why, after the way you were treated. I am already dreading seeing you go, though. I have become used to your smile and the light in your eyes, and you’ve been here for such a short time.”

Looking up after feeling Haldir kiss his forehead, Faramir stared at the Elf. "I… I just… I'm sure after a while you will grow tired of me," he whispered. He shifted slightly and took another drink of the tea, feeling it relax him as it slid warmly to his stomach. He wasn't sure why Haldir was being so kind… his troops had described him so differently, and a part of him wondered if he should be wary. No one was ever kind to him without a motive… he did say he found him attractive. Maybe he just wanted to make Faramir comfortable? Some of those his father had given him to had, in fact, been kind, a few even gentle… maybe that's what this was about? And since he was sick… well, no one wants to do that with someone who's sniffling, right?

Haldir let one finger rest just under the tip of Faramir’s chin and gently tilted his face up until their gazes met. “I’ll not grow tired of you,” he said firmly. “You are free to leave, but I really, really hope you will stay, even after you have recovered. You will have all the food you could want, and I have plenty of books to keep you occupied. All you will need to worry about is which book you want to read next.”

Faramir smiled sadly as he looked into Haldir's eyes and shook his head. "I should do more than that if I stay… Haldir. I can't just pretend to be a guest here," he said softly. A part of him wondered if he could, but he knew that everything had a price. Even if Haldir claimed to not want to be repaid, he was sure that would change if he stayed for too long.

“You don’t have to pretend,” Haldir sighed as he saw the look of sadness cloud the blue eyes before him. “You are my guest, and I promise you, there is nothing you need to do. If you would like something to keep you occupied, tell me what interests you and we can figure something out, but you are not my slave, nor my housekeeper, nor my cook. You are simply my very handsome, very welcomed friend who is staying with me for an indeterminate amount of time.” //The longer the better, lovely one. I hope you’ll at least give me a chance to show you how different your life here can be.//

Faramir just smiled and leaned his head against Haldir's shoulder. "Thank you," he said softly, still unsure if things would actually turn out the way Haldir spoke of. He snuggled closer despite his misgivings and sighed. He thought about the fact that Haldir had called him lovely and handsome in the past day. He wondered at that, at what it meant. Would he one day want him the way Feanor intended when he brought him here? Faramir thought that he probably wouldn't mind it so much if Haldir were always this kind. He could be comfortable here, and safe. Safe. He hadn't felt that with anyone except his brother, but even Boromir couldn't protect him from their father. Perhaps here he would finally, truly, be allowed to just live?

Smiling as Faramir moved closer, Haldir rested his cheek on top of his companion’s head and closed his eyes for a moment. “One more sip of tea and you can sleep,” he said softly, urging the small cup back to Faramir’s lips one final time. “I’ll put everything away, then climb back into bed and hold you for as long as you like.” //And tell Rúmil to take over the patrols for a few days.// His eyes opened quickly, and he was shocked at himself for that thought. Never had he missed a patrol in all his life, yet he couldn’t bear to think of Faramir here, alone and sick, shivering and lonely in his bed.

Faramir sighed and obediently drank the tea and then found himself disappointed when Haldir got out of the bed. He snuggled into the warmth left behind by the powerful Elf and watched him as he moved across the room. He was sleepy, but found yet again that he couldn't stop watching the Elf. He seemed to care and seemed kind even when he'd been told so much that seemed so different. Faramir was too tired to continue to think on it all, though, and simply waited for Haldir to return. When he did, Faramir offered a small smile and scooted over in the bed to allow Haldir to get in. "Thank you for doing this… I… I know you didn't have to humor me, and I appreciate it."

Haldir lifted his tunic over his head but left his breeches on, not wanting to give Faramir the wrong idea. He slid underneath the covers and opened his arms to the still feverish young man and wished that he wouldn’t think so little of himself that he believed snuggling in bed with him was a chore. It was far from it, in Haldir’s opinion, but he knew that merely saying the words wouldn’t convince him, not today, at any rate. Still smiling from the look of amazement on Rúmil’s face when Haldir had called out to him and told him he would not patrol today, he felt relaxed and content as Faramir moved closer. “I’m not humoring you,” he said softly. “I am a snuggler, and I am finally getting the chance to indulge in my secret favorite pastime, so I think it must be you who is humoring me.”

When Haldir returned and pulled his tunic off, Faramir found himself unable to look away. Haldir was absolutely perfect, his shoulders were broad, tapering to a slim waist, and his muscles rippled as he moved to toss the tunic aside. Faramir half expected him to remove his breeches, but all he removed were his boots before he slid into bed next to him. When Haldir spoke of his secret pastime Faramir snuggled closer. "Well, then, I'm glad to be a bit of self indulgence, then," he said with a small smile that was ruined with a yawn.

Wrapping both arms around Faramir and offering all the body heat he could, Haldir pressed another kiss to the Man’s forehead and let both hands run lightly over still damp skin. He found that he liked the feeling of simply holding Faramir and hoped with all his heart that if only for the time being, he felt safe and protected and knew that Haldir would let no harm come to him. “Good night, dear one,” he said softly. “I hope you feel better when you wake.”

"Good night, Haldir," Faramir whispered as he snuggled closer. His eyes sank closed and a soft sigh escaped. He still felt achy and feverish, but with Haldir's arms around him, moving over his skin gently, he felt infinitely more relaxed. Faramir hoped that once he felt better that things would make more sense to him, because at the moment he felt off kilter. He wasn't accustomed to being treated this way, and he wondered if it would change over the next few days.

Chapter 4

Faramir awoke alone in Haldir's bed and wondered where his 'guardian' was before he heard soft voices coming from the other room. Curiosity getting the better of him, he crawled out of bed and pulled a green robe over the nightshirt that was quite a bit too large for him. He smiled to himself as he realized it was Haldir’s. Once he was suitably covered he wandered slowly to the door that separated the bedroom from the living area. He really hadn't seen Haldir's home and found that he looked forward to exploring it a bit. Opening the door slowly, he saw two blond Elves sitting across from Haldir and another dark-haired one in a chair not far away. The two blonds looked oddly familiar to him for a moment, and then he recognized they bore similar features to Haldir's. //His brothers?// He stood in the open doorway with his head tilted to the side for a moment trying to understand the Elvish that was being spoken so softly.

Haldir had been listening intently to Orophin as he explained that Feanor was still being held, awaiting Haldir’s orders. Before he could speak, however, he heard the soft squeak of his bedroom door opening and completely forgot his guests. Quickly getting to his feet, he hurried over to Faramir and put one arm around his waist. “Pen velui,” he said softly as his other hand rested over Faramir’s forehead and he checked for a fever, “you shouldn’t be up. Do you need anything? Or…would you like to join us?”

Rúmil’s mouth dropped open as he saw his brother being positively solicitous to the young man Feanor had brought back from Gondor. He was handsome, that was easy enough to see, but he looked weak and malnourished, and Rúmil couldn’t help but wonder what his life had been like before Feanor had dragged him to Lórien. He knew well that Haldir would never make a ‘slave’ out of the young man, but he hadn’t expected his brother to fuss over him, either.

Faramir was surprised when Haldir rushed away from his guests to see to him. "I… I woke up al… woke up and heard voices. I didn't mean to interrupt… just… didn't feel like lying down anymore," he whispered. He'd stopped himself from saying woke up alone in case Haldir didn't wish the others to know they'd shared the same bed. He found himself peeking past Haldir's shoulder toward the others and wondered about the shocked looks he saw on their faces.

“You didn’t interrupt anything,” Haldir smiled. “You were sleeping peacefully when I heard someone at the door, and I tried not to wake you. I was just talking to my brothers and one of my captains. Are you up to meeting them?” He hoped Faramir was feeling better, and, if he stayed as Haldir truly wanted him to, he would need to realize that not all Elves were like Feanor. Most of them were kind and gentle, able to keep their duties and their private lives separate, unlike Feanor. And while he was determined to keep those under his command at an arm’s length, he found he simply couldn’t help but worry about Faramir, the urge to take care of him overriding anything else he might feel or think at this moment, even with his guests no doubt watching them closely.

Faramir nodded slowly when Haldir offered for him to meet his brothers, though he was a bit wary of the captain. He could tell the dark-haired Elf's looks were more than merely surprise and curiosity like Haldir's brothers. "If you don't mind, I don't… but… I can just go back to bed if… yes, please," he said, realizing that Haldir had asked HIM if he'd like to meet them, not the other way around. His face colored slightly, and he realized that he probably didn't look like much with his hair mussed from sleep and Haldir's nightshirt and robe that were quite a bit too large for his slender frame. His father had seen to it that he didn't have much to eat to keep him thin and boyish looking, and as he'd grown taller the last few years, even he knew he looked quite skinny. Boromir always said he would 'fill out' as he grew a bit older, but he doubted that he ever would living in Gondor, after no proper meals and weapons training ending three years ago when his father started using him for other things.

Haldir smiled encouragingly and gently guided Faramir into the room. “Rúmil, Orophin, Elarin, this is my friend Faramir, who will be staying with me for the foreseeable future. Though I know you have not had many dealings with Men, I expect you all to treat him as you would any of my other friends.”

Orophin couldn’t suppress a snort. “You don’t have many other friends.”

Haldir glared at his brother, reminding him that Elarin was present, and he simply did not tease or laugh around his captain.

“Be that as it may, Orophin, I think you all will like Faramir a great deal.” Almost before he realized it, his words continued. “I find myself liking him a great deal already.” Shaking his head, he caught himself at the last moment and smiled brightly at Faramir. “Rúmil and Orophin are my brothers, and Elarin is one of my captains.”

"You… you said that already," Faramir whispered, grinning shyly at Haldir who still had his arm around his waist. When Haldir had said that he liked Faramir a great deal already, Faramir had felt almost proud, but then noticed the way Elarin was looking at him. He could nearly read the Elf's mind by the look in his eyes and found himself scooting closer to Haldir. "Pleased to meet you… I… I've been unwell so I do apologize for my appearance," he said softly to the group.

Elarin was shocked by Haldir's gracious behavior toward the young human and found himself watching curiously as Haldir led him closer. He certainly was pretty… sick or not one would notice. When Haldir said that he found himself liking the man a great deal already, he fought to keep a smirk from his lips from his own thoughts. //Oh, I just bet Haldir likes him… bet I would, too… though seems such a shame to waste such a lovely creature on one so cold as Haldir.//

Rúmil and Orophin simply exchanged pleased looks. They had seen the softer side of Haldir before, but doubted that their brother even realized he was showing what he regarded as his own weakness in front of Elarin. Still, they were happy for Haldir, not believing for one moment that a little softening of his usually cold and distant demeanor before those under his command would change the respect they had for him.

Haldir smiled and tucked a lock of hair behind Faramir’s ear in a gesture he’d never done with anyone else, but found he loved to do with the man before him. It was, he knew, merely an excuse to touch him, but as long as Faramir didn’t seem to mind, it was something he would do often. “He has no idea how handsome he looks,” Haldir teased, leading Faramir over to the couch, already feeling his companion trembling lightly against him, most likely from the fever that was still upon him. Speaking quietly, he waited for Faramir to sit, then sat down beside him, looking at him anxiously. “Do you need something to drink? More tea, perhaps?”

Faramir felt his face flush even more when Haldir said that he was handsome in front of the others. He followed Haldir to the couch and as Elarin's eyes seemed to be trying to see through his clothing, Faramir shivered. He knew that look all too well and decided that if he could help it, he would steer clear of the Elf. He sat down beside Haldir and when asked if he needed more tea, Faramir shook his head. "I'm fine right now, mast… uh Haldir," he said softly, remembering that Haldir didn't wish for him to call him master, but unsure how to behave in front of others like this. He felt that perhaps he should have stayed in bed and not intruded. "Please… carry on with whatever you were discussing… I truly didn't intend to interrupt."

Elarin kept his mouth closed, but his eyes continued to follow the young man. He wondered just what sort of body lurked under that oversized night shirt and robe… he'd not been at the border to see the man, but others had told him that he'd been stripped bare and that he was quite lovely despite being so incredibly thin. He tried to focus his attention back to Haldir though, knowing that his captain wouldn't appreciate him ogling his… 'guest'.

Shaking his head slightly at his brothers, Haldir let them know that they were not to discuss Feanor while Faramir was in the room. As he’d talked to them earlier, he’d made a list of several items he wished for Rúmil and Orophin to bring him later that evening, and he quickly folded it and handed it to Rúmil. “They were just giving me reports about the border patrols,” he said smoothly. “Rúmil found some orc tracks on the eastern borders, but it looks like they simply passed by. I think they knew better than to try and attack Lórien. Did you have many problems with Orcs in Gondor?”

Faramir nodded. "Almost constantly… our border lies so close to the Black Gates that our soldiers are almost constantly in battle… " Faramir said softly. In truth he should have been fighting all these years instead of being where he was. Just before he was to be sent to become a Ranger, his father had come up with his plan to appease those he insulted when one of the nobles had been overheard suggesting that he could ‘forget’ the entire matter for one night with the steward’s lovely youngest son.

Haldir sighed. “I can’t say that I am surprised. The orcs are growing stronger and larger in number every day. I have heard rumors that Gandalf had a plan to destroy the Ring, and thus destroy Sauron, but I dare not hope until it is done.”

Faramir turned and looked at Haldir for a moment. "You know Gandalf? He… well… he was my tutor once… until my father forbade me to be trained by him," he said softly. "I hope that whatever plans he has come to fruition." He glanced over again at Elarin, whose eyes were still roaming over him avidly, and he shivered again and scooted closer to Haldir unconsciously.

Furrowing his brow at Faramir’s words, Haldir’s hatred of the steward of Gondor grew exponentially. //That foolish old man wouldn’t let his own son have food or books…why did I think he would have allowed him to have a tutor? Gods…I could strangle him with my bare hands for putting that sadness in Faramir’s beautiful eyes!// As Faramir moved closer, Haldir’s hands began to run lightly over his back, thinking the young man was nervous, suddenly being surround by so many strange Elves. If he had only looked up, he would have seen the look in Elarin’s eyes, but Haldir’s attention was focused solely on Faramir at the moment. Pulling him closer, Haldir touched his forehead once again and smiled. “Gandalf visits Lórien quite often,” he said softly. “I think he would be glad to spend time with you on his next visit. Maybe you can pick up where you left off with your tutoring…though I bet you have found ways to learn on your own, despite your father.”

"Oh, I did… he just didn't want me to be trained by a wizard… he didn't trust them he said, but I was still well educated," Faramir explained and realized that Haldir's attention was completely on him and not his guests. When Haldir touched his forehead, he smiled. "I no longer have a fever… you really should stop worrying over me and… pay attention to your guests," Faramir whispered softly, hoping that only Haldir could hear him and that he hadn't overstepped his bounds by suggesting that. He still didn't quite know where he stood with Haldir and bit his lip worriedly after he spoke, wondering if maybe he shouldn't have said such a thing.

Elarin sat watching the pair on the couch and was quite surprised by the young human's audacity to tell his master that he should pay attention to his guests. He sat wondering how Haldir would punish him.

Haldir laughed and shook his head. “You are right, pen velui, I am ignoring my other guests,” he chuckled. “But you are my guest as well, and I worry about you, too. I will, however, stop fussing over you for the moment, if you’re sure you are feeling better.”

Orophin choked on his tea as he tried to stifle his laughter. He’d thought Faramir was painfully shy, but maybe, just maybe, he thought, there was a spark in him that would make him a good match for Haldir. Trying to disguise his amusement, he elbowed Rúmil in the ribs and saw that he, too, was having trouble hiding his laughter. “We should take care of some…things,” he finally managed, nodding toward the paper in Rúmil’s hand Haldir had given them earlier. “I think it is time we take our leave, brother.”

Faramir looked up as Haldir laughed and then over to see his brother's eyes sparkling with mirth, as well. He felt his face flush again and looked down. He hadn't meant for them to hear him, but obviously they had.

Elarin sighed and wondered just what was wrong with Haldir, and then figured it wouldn't be like him to punish the man in front of them. He would wait until after they left and set him straight, he was certain. He knew that no Elf told Haldir what to do besides the Lord and Lady of the Wood, and certainly not some young human. "I should go as well. I'll inform my replacement at… the guardhouse of what we discussed," he said smiling. Haldir had specific orders how Feanor was to be handled for his mistreatment of the man on his trip there. He was certain that it was only for the mistreatment and not any other reason that Haldir was upset. Feanor really couldn't have handled it worse; if you want to present a prize, you don't try and break it first.

Haldir stood and walked his guests to the top of the stairs, whispering to Rúmil that he wanted the items on his list sitting in his front room first thing in the morning, if at all possible. When they had all said their goodbyes, and Haldir once again made sure Elarin knew that Feanor was to be guarded at all times.

Turning back to Faramir, Haldir sat next to him and smiled. “Do you need to rest, or do you think you can sit here while I make us some lunch?”

Faramir watched as Haldir saw the others out and wrapped his arms around himself as Elarin gave him one last glance that turned his blood cold. //I don't trust him… not as far as I could throw him.// He almost laughed at himself. In his current state, that certainly wouldn't be far. He wondered if he stayed longer if Haldir would allow him to train with a bow again, he'd always loved it, and he did miss it the last few years. He didn't so much miss sword training, but the bow he had greatly missed. Looking back up as Haldir sat beside him Faramir smiled. "I am fine… do… would you like me to help?"

“Yes, I would,” Haldir said, taking one of Faramir’s hands in his own and gently pulling him to his feet. He led the still weakened young man to the small area where he prepared meals and gently tucked a blanket around his shoulders as he urged him to sit down. “I would like for you to talk to me while I make something for us to eat. Tell me what you like and don’t like, what interests you and what bores you silly, and tell me about your brother. That is…if you don’t mind and feel up to talking.”

When Haldir said he would like his help, Faramir smiled and tried to will himself a bit more strength to try and help Haldir prepare their meal until the Elf sat him down again and wrapped a blanket around him so gently. He blinked and looked up at Haldir who was already moving about the small kitchen. "Oh… I… oh," he mumbled for a moment and clutched the blanket tighter around him. "I'd love to," he said, smiling. It had been ages since someone wanted to actually know something about him like that. So, while Haldir prepared their meal, Faramir shared with him his love of books and lore, his enjoyment of music and art, and his former enjoyment of training with his bow. Though he found that most of what he talked about centered on his beloved brother, Boromir.

Haldir listened intently as he prepared their lunch, and by the time he finally set a large bowl of stew and a plate of bread, fruits, and cheeses next to Faramir, he felt as if his young friend was finally beginning to relax. He could tell Faramir loved his brother greatly, and made a mental note to send Rúmil off first thing the next morning with a letter, assuring Boromir that Faramir was well, even if Faramir wasn’t up to writing him. The poor man had to be worried sick about his ‘little one’, as Faramir told him Boromir had called him since their childhood, and Haldir knew at once that he would like the steward’s eldest son, though not as much as he liked the youngest. Faramir got more beautiful before his very eyes, it seemed, and he wished with all his heart that he could convince the young man to stay and not worry about being a burden. “So,” he said as he set his own plate down and took a seat next to Faramir, “I happen to have an extra bow that you’re more than welcome to use any time you like. That is…if you want to practice again. I usually practice several times a week, just behind this talan. I think having company would be a nice change of pace.”

Faramir looked at the food Haldir sat in front of him and smiled. He knew there'd be no way he could finish even half of it, but he certainly appreciated the gesture. When Haldir sat down beside him he found himself surprised when he spoke of a spare bow. "You… wouldn't mind me practicing with you?" he asked, "I… I don't know how good I'll be… honestly, can't say I can hit the broad side of a barn anymore, though… well, three years ago I wasn't a terribly bad shot, I'd won a place with the Rangers of Ithilien but… was never able to join them," he admitted, "I'd love to, though… once I'm feeling a bit stronger, I guess. Doubt I can even pull the drawstring back as weak as I've felt the last few days." He took a bite of his stew and watched Haldir for a moment, just enjoying the Elf who was still so much different than he expected. He wondered when that feeling would go away… and hoped it would be soon. Each moment he spent with Haldir he found he liked him more and more, and he truly hoped that continued.

“Your strength will return in no time, I’m sure,” Haldir said softly. “And I would love to have you practice with me, when you feel ready.” Slowly, he reached out and took one of Faramir’s hands and turned it over, studying each finger intently. “I see such strength in you, Faramir. Not only in your hands, but in your eyes and your smile. I am so very sorry about the manner in which you were brought into my life, but I honestly am glad you’re here now.”

Faramir simply stared at his hand where Haldir touched him, feeling warmth radiate up his arm from the gentle touch. His heart seemed to be beating faster in his chest, and he was unable to think for a moment. He honestly didn't know what to say, he was so touched by Haldir's words, and it took him a long moment to respond. "I… am glad that you seem to be much different than I ever expected," he admitted.

“I am glad as well,” Haldir smiled. “For the Haldir Feanor knows isn’t all that pleasant, I must admit. But, he guards the borders of the Golden Wood and has no time for happiness. The Haldir before you, dear one, is the one Elves like Feanor will never see, yet it is the real me. I hope the differences aren’t too disturbing, but it’s the only way I know how to exist.”

Faramir nodded, trying to understand. His brother, too, was a leader, but he was quite different with his men, still friendly toward them, but they still offered him much respect. He wondered why Haldir was so much different… then perhaps maybe he'd been taught to be that way by his former commander? "I… I think perhaps I understand… though it does give people a false impression of you," he said softly. "By the way your men spoke… I was truly frightened before and still am a bit, to be honest."

Giving Faramir’s hand a gentle squeeze before releasing it, Haldir leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss against the young man’s cheek. “I understand. I can only imagine what they said about me, and I’m sure they believe it to be true. I hope that one day you will see that there is no need for you to be frightened of me. If you stay, as I hope you will, you will know that I would never hurt you, pen velui…never.”

Faramir's hand rose to touch where Haldir had kissed him so sweetly, and he stared at the Elf for a moment, confused by how the chaste kiss made him feel. A part of him wanted to simply crawl into Haldir's lap and offer himself to him, though he doubted Haldir would accept. //I would gladly be his… his what exactly? If he isn't my master… then… his lover? I thought I wouldn't want to offer myself to him, but I find that I do… and he doesn't want me that way. How ironic is that?// "I no longer believe all that they said about you… each day you are proving them very, very wrong," he whispered, unable to bring voice to his other thoughts.

“And I will continue to do so,” Haldir said softly. He honestly didn’t have many friends, but the feelings he was already experiencing toward Faramir were definitely more than friendly. //Gods…how can I care so much for him after only a few days?// “I think you can be happy here, Faramir. I will do everything in my power to make sure you are.” His last words were spoken almost to himself, and he meant every one of them. He honestly wasn’t sure where this ‘friendship’ was leading, but he hoped that one day, when Faramir was no longer afraid of him, that they could be lovers, at the very least, though he had a strong feeling that he would want more than that, if Faramir were willing.

Faramir was surprised yet again that Haldir wished to make him happy. He was so insignificant, how is it that someone so beautiful… a leader of his people's army… how could Haldir wish to make him happy? It just didn’t seem to fit with all he'd been taught, but he pushed the thoughts away. "I will stay until you ask me to go… will… will that be all right? I have no where else to go, to be honest, and you have offered more than once for me to stay, so I will just stay until you bid me to leave." He felt awkward saying that, but he felt that he needed to.

“If that is what you wish, then you will stay here with me forever, I think,” Haldir chuckled. “I would never want you to stay against your will, but I know I will never ask you to leave. I don’t think you understand how much I already value your presence or how happy it makes me to know that I can spend time with you. Maybe one day, you’ll truly see how much I enjoy your company, dear one.”

Faramir's mouth dropped open for a moment and then he looked down. "Perhaps so… with time," he answered softly, feeling as if he were missing something important. They continued their meal and once they were done, Faramir offered to help clear the table, but Haldir again refused his aid. He sighed and settled for watching the Elf. All in all, it was far more pleasant than his home. No worries about who his father would give him to next… even if Haldir changed his mind and decided he did want a physical relationship with him, Faramir realized he actually would welcome it.

Chapter 5

Haldir awoke the next morning with his arms around Faramir, who had snuggled close in his sleep and entangled their legs. He was sure Faramir would never do that had he been awake, but the Elf found that he relished the contact and relaxed against the Man in his arms with a smile.

He could hear the soft sounds of his brothers in another part of the talan and smiled, knowing that they had indeed done as he’d asked and managed to find everything on his list. When Faramir had told him that his father had not allowed him many personal items, Haldir had wondered if having some of his own here in Lórien would make him feel more at home and relaxed. His list had included two large bookshelves, over two hundred books, a chest of drawers filled with clothes that would fit Faramir, and a small desk filled with parchment and quills. He’d almost added a second bed to the list, thinking that Faramir might prefer not having to share, but he’d changed his mind at the last moment, hoping against hope that he would rather continue as they were, as Haldir greatly enjoyed simply feeling his new friend curled up against him at night.

Wincing as he heard a soft thump and muttered curses from Orophin, Haldir held his breath, relieved that Faramir hadn’t stirred. It was not yet daybreak, and he simply slid further down in the bed and pulled the covers up around them, already anxious for his brothers to leave, so he could lead Faramir into the next room.

Almost two hours passed before he heard Orophin and Rúmil closing the door behind them, and Haldir smiled down at Faramir, whose head was resting on his chest. //I hope you like everything, pen velui. At the very least, I hope you will feel more welcome and not worry about repaying me or leaving…and most importantly, I hope you will no longer be afraid of me.//

Faramir snuggled closer to the warmth wrapped around him and sighed softly. He felt so warm and comfortable that he didn't really want to wake up, but as his mind began to finally lose the fog of sleep, he opened his eyes slowly. Haldir had his arms wrapped around him firmly, and he was almost embarrassed to find himself practically on top of the Elf. He looked up from where his head was snuggled against Haldir's chest and smiled. "I... didn't mean to practically crawl inside you last night... I guess... that I was cold," Faramir murmured softly. His throat felt better today, and he was pleased to realize his fever was completely gone.

Laughing softly, Haldir rubbed his hands over Faramir’s back, pulling him even closer. Though having the handsome young man laying over him like that had made him more than a little aroused, he kept his hips turned slightly, so that Faramir wouldn’t notice. He wanted him, Gods, yes, but not yet…not like this. Only when Faramir wanted it as well would he allow himself the luxury, and only if he could be sure Faramir’s request was for the right reasons – not as a way to repay him or because he felt he had to. “I don’t think you’ll hear me complaining,” he smiled. “I find that I rather like having you snuggled against me. I don’t think it was all you, either…more than once during the darkness, I found myself pulling you closer.”

Faramir smiled and scooted off Haldir and onto the bed beside him. He rested his chin in his hand and just watched the Elf for a moment. "I did promise to never tell anyone, of course, but I wonder who would believe me if I said that Haldir snuggled... they'd think I was mad for sure," he teased and almost giggled from the look Haldir gave him.

Haldir reached over and let his fingers run lightly over Faramir’s ribs. “Oh, you really don’t want to find out, do you?” he asked, crawling closer and tickling Faramir in earnest. While he’d never been one to actually ‘tickle’ someone else, he found that he couldn’t resist trying to make his friend laugh…and hopefully, Faramir would also see that Haldir’s temper would never be turned toward him, no matter what he said or did.

Faramir flinched when Haldir's fingers ran over his ribs and then found himself pinned and unable to get away from the hands that were tormenting him. His giggle bubbled up and out before he could stop himself and within moments he was laughing so hard he could barely catch his breath. "Gods... mercy... please!" he gasped, giggling and trying his best to squirm away from the larger Elf. He hadn't been tickled like this since he was a little boy.

Collapsing beside Faramir, Haldir found himself laughing harder than he’d laughed for years. He loved the sound of Faramir’s laughter and thought that he’d never in his life heard anything so sweet. Propping his head up on his hand, he simply watched the young man for long moments as he tried to catch his breath. “I thought as much,” he grinned. “I doubt you’ll be wanting to tell anyone about my snuggling activities now, will you, my lovely one?”

Gasping, Faramir raised his eyebrow and gave Haldir a haughty look before bursting into a fit of giggles again. "So, you do intend to torture me but with tickles? I think I can say that your secret is quite safe," he said breathlessly as he continued to grin. Haldir being so... playful had been completely unexpected, and he rose up on his elbows to regard his bedmate. "Are you always so chipper in the mornings?"

Haldir shrugged and tried to look serious, but failed miserably. “I suppose if tickling works, then I really have no choice…” Before the last words were out of his mouth, he rolled off the bed and reached for Faramir’s hand. “As for my being chipper,” he said as he gently pulled the young man to his feet, “normally, I’m not this wound up, but today, I have a bit of a surprise for you. One that I hope you will like, but one that you are under no obligation to keep if you don’t.”

Faramir watched as Haldir got out of bed and tried not to stare at him. He was afraid if he did that Haldir would cease coming to bed in only breeches, and he decided that he very much liked the way Haldir looked without a tunic. Very, very much. He tried to push that thought away and took Haldir's offered hand. "A surprise? Not keep it? You... certainly have me curious now," he said as he crawled out of the bed and stood next to Haldir. Their hands remained joined for a moment longer than was necessary, and Faramir found that he liked the way Haldir's fingers felt wrapped around his own. Yet again he was filled with a feeling of safety just from the gentle connection.

Reaching behind him, his gaze never leaving Faramir’s, Haldir’s hand found the two robes that hung from small pegs beside the bed. He’d taken to wrapping his favorite emerald green one around his companion, loving the way Faramir’s eyes darkened in contrast with the soft fabric. Resting the robe lightly around Faramir’s shoulders, he smiled when sparkling blue eyes looked up at him. “I don’t want you to catch another chill,” he said softly. Quickly shrugging into the second robe, he nodded toward the front room. “Let us satisfy your curiosity, then. Your surprise is in the next room.”

When Haldir wrapped the deep green robe around him, Faramir looked up and smiled at Haldir in return. He made him feel... cared for, even if he didn't really intend it that way, it felt good. When Haldir nodded toward the door, Faramir looked at him with curious eyes and smiled again. "Whatever it is, I'm sure I'll love it," he whispered. He couldn't imagine what the gift could be, but Haldir seemed rather pleased with himself, and he didn't think whatever the surprise was could be a bad thing. He walked toward the door and looked back at Haldir, "Do I need to close my eyes or anything?"

Haldir moved to stand behind Faramir and had to fight the urge to simply pull the young man into the next room. He’d almost convinced himself that his idea had been silly, that of course, Faramir wouldn’t want to stay if he had the choice, and a few books and furniture wouldn’t change his mind. One look at Faramir’s tentative smile though, brought his excitement back tenfold, and he clung to the hope that maybe his original idea hadn’t been too terrible after all. Moving one arm around Faramir to let his forearm rest over his stomach, Haldir let his other hand cover the blue eyes that sparkled back at him. “Yes…if you trust me to lead you into the next room with your eyes covered, that is.”

Faramir stiffened for only a moment when Haldir's hand covered his eyes, and then he relaxed. "Of course," he whispered. He heard the door being pushed open ahead of him and felt Haldir urge him to step forward, which he did. After only a few steps they stopped and he felt nervous excitement dance through him, wondering what Haldir could possibly have for him out here. Had he gotten up in the night? Why hadn't he noticed?

Haldir’s smile widened as he saw that Rúmil and Orophin had done just as he’d asked. Books that he could only hope Faramir would enjoy were stacked neatly in the two large bookshelves against the far wall of his talan. The chest of drawers sat in the middle of the room so that it could easily be moved to the bedroom later that day, and the desk he’d requested sat just beneath a window so that Faramir could enjoy the sunlight as he wrote letters to his family or friends, should he choose to. His arm automatically tightened around Faramir’s waist for a moment as he took a deep breath and moved his hand down so his companion could see the new items in the room. “There,” he whispered, “I wanted to make you feel a bit more at home…”

As Haldir's hand dropped away from his eyes Faramir stared at the changes in the front room. His mouth gaped open, and he simply stared for a moment. The chest standing in the center of the room seemed to stand out, and he stepped forward slowly. "This... this is all for me?" he asked running his hand over the top of the chest and then moved toward the closest bookshelf where his fingers traced down the spine of several books. Turning to look back at Haldir, he didn't know what to say. "You... you did all of this for me?"

Nodding, Haldir felt a slow blush creep up from his neck. “I just…you said you hadn’t been allowed to have many of your own possessions,” he said softly. “So, I thought that this might make you feel more at home. It’s all yours – the books, the furniture, and…and there are some clothes that will fit you in the chest. I love seeing you wear mine, but they can’t be comfortable. And…if you open the top drawer, you might find something you’ve been missing…”

Faramir smiled at the blush that spread across Haldir's face, imagining that wasn't a sight many got to see. "I can't believe you'd do this... no one has ever done anything so... kind," he said, opening the top drawer of the dresser to find the cloak Boromir had given him, clean and looking better than ever before laying right on top. His hands automatically reached in to pull the soft garment out to look at it, certain that his surprise was evident on his face. A wave of emotion seemed to wash over him, and he dropped the cloak back into the drawer. Suddenly and without over thinking it, he turned and threw himself into Haldir's arms, wrapping both his arms and his legs around the strong Elf and raining tiny excited little butterfly kisses all over Haldir's face. "Thank you," he murmured over and over again between kisses and then found himself murmuring the words against Haldir's lips for only a moment before he drew away, his eyes sparkling with happiness.

Haldir’s arms wrapped around Faramir and held him close. In that moment, he knew such perfect, overwhelming happiness, he could barely think. The tiny, countless kisses warmed his heart, and he knew he would give anything on all of Arda to keep the smile on Faramir’s dear face there forever. He let one arm slip down underneath Faramir’s backside, easily supporting him, as the other lifted up to let his index finger ghost over his cheek. His lips tingled from the sweet kisses, and he let his tongue run lightly over them for a moment before he spoke. “Thank you,” he said softly. “You have no idea how happy your smile makes me, dear one. No idea at all.”

Faramir leaned back to look into Haldir's eyes and smiled happily at him. "Well, you have no idea how happy you've made me... no one has ever done something so kind for me before," he whispered. A part of him wondered if Haldir would want him to thank him with more than happy smiles and chaste little kisses, and he found that he wasn't at all opposed to the idea. //He's been so kind, I can't help thinking so much of him... and he's so handsome.// Faramir almost blushed from his thoughts and rested his hands on Haldir's shoulders for a moment before he caught one of Haldir's braids and twirled it around his finger absently. "I wish I could do something more to thank you though... perhaps one day I can return your generosity," he suggested and had to keep himself from leaning forward to kiss Haldir again. The sort of kiss he knew would be much more than the chaste ones he'd given him before. Though he found himself worrying over that, he had been a whore for his father, he didn't want Haldir to think he actually was one. That thought sobered him, and he realized he didn't want Haldir to look at him the way others had as only sexual, he wanted Haldir to keep looking at him just the way he was now.

In no hurry to have Faramir release him, Haldir smiled and danced around the room in a very graceful, but un-Haldirish manner, Faramir held tightly against him. “Your smile is thanks enough,” he said honestly. While he would love nothing more than to kiss the man in his arms, he found himself hesitating. Faramir was more than a friend, of that he had no doubt any more, but he knew he had to take this slowly, so he would realize that what Haldir wanted was more than just a physical relationship.

Haldir was engrossed in their dance; he didn’t hear Elarin making his way up the stairway. As the dark-haired Elf started to knock on the door to Haldir’s talan, he noticed it wasn’t completely closed. Unwilling to risk disturbing his rather temperamental commander, he simply peeked inside and had to cover his mouth with one hand to stifle the gasp that fell from his lips. There was Haldir, his slave wrapped around him, moving across the room as if dancing. No doubt, this was foreplay, Elarin thought, and his mind wandered back to the previous day. He wasn’t surprised that Faramir couldn’t walk, really, especially after Haldir had punished for speaking out of turn while Elarin and Haldir’s brothers had been discussing important matters with him. He couldn’t see the young man’s face, but was sure he was probably bruised as well. If he’d been Elarin’s slave, he would still be tied to the bed, crying as he felt the leather of his master’s belt across his backside, or, at the very least, a riding crop applied liberally to teach him a lesson he wouldn’t soon forget.

The only thing Elarin could see, really, was Haldir’s smile as he looked up into his slave’s face. The smile wasn’t one he’d seen on the handsome face often, and Elarin felt sure it was brought on by the suffering Faramir had no doubt lived through in the past few hours. //Well, I’d smile too, if I could beat him and then have my way with him. I’m sure Haldir wouldn’t mind…the Man is a whore, after all, and since Haldir took him first, surely he wouldn’t begrudge us seconds?//

Faramir giggled as Haldir spun them around the room again in a cheerful dance, and then something at the corner of his eye caught his attention. He looked up and saw Elarin looking at them from the doorway. His smile faded immediately, and he swallowed hard at the lustful look he saw in the dark Elf's eyes. "Haldir," he whispered, "You... have a guest." He didn't attempt to slide down out of Haldir's embrace though; he simply found himself clinging closer not wishing to really have Elarin looking at him that way.

Glancing quickly in the direction of Faramir’s gaze, Haldir’s eyes locked with Elarin’s. At that moment, he made a decision. While he had no plans on being friends – or even ‘friendly’ to those under his command, neither would he hide his feelings toward Faramir. They were simply too strong, and he knew that sooner or later, someone would see them together, and know that Haldir, did, after all, possess a heart. Where Faramir was concerned, that wasn’t a bad thing at all, he thought with a smile. Keeping a firm hold on his dance partner, he crossed over to the door and gave Elarin a piercing look. “I am busy, as you can see,” he said levelly. “Unless it is urgent, I suggest you send me a message via my brothers. And next time, Elarin, I would appreciate it if you knocked before simply staring inside my talan.” With that, he closed the door in Elarin’s face.

Elarin simply stood open mouthed as his face flushed. The look in Haldir’s eyes made him hold his tongue, and he realized he was lucky to get off with nothing more than a tongue-lashing. Quickly turning on his heel, he made his way back down the staircase and ran back to his own talan, thinking that his question for Haldir wasn’t all that important anyway. Seeing Faramir’s legs wrapped around Haldir that way and picturing the countless bruises and welts that no doubt covered his long, lean body had made the Elf painfully aroused, and he had other things to take care of at the moment.

Haldir smiled up at Faramir as he felt the young man shaking in his arms. “You don’t like him, do you?” he asked softly.

Faramir couldn't help trembling as Haldir had crossed to the doorway, something in Elarin's eyes told him that he'd better always be close to Haldir or his brothers when Elarin came around. He didn't trust him at all, and as Haldir spoke he nodded slowly. "I am sorry, but... I do not care for the way he looks at me," he admitted softly. "I imagine many of the others view me as property just as Feanor did, but that doesn't mean I have to like being looked at that way."

Haldir saw the sadness in Faramir’s eyes and moved to sit down on the couch behind them. Settling Faramir in his lap, he took a deep breath and smiled. “I don’t want anyone to see you as property,” he said. “That’s not how I see you, and that’s not how I want you to feel. I was thinking…when I realized Elarin was at the door, I made a decision. While I don’t plan on changing the way I act toward them, which, I admit isn’t very friendly or lighthearted, I would like to let them know that I…I care for you a great deal. If you would be comfortable with the idea, I was thinking that maybe…you and I can…be seen together. As…a couple. I mean…you don’t have to do anything, but I don’t want you to feel that you have to hide from curious eyes. If you wouldn’t mind being seen with me, I think you would find a great many friends here…” His words trailed off uncertainly, and he wondered if he’d said too much. Maybe Faramir didn’t want to make friends? Or maybe he wanted to do it on his own, away from Haldir’s influence?

Feeling positively treasured, unlike he'd ever felt before when Haldir sat down and settled him in his lap, Faramir smiled. "As... a couple?" he asked, feeling his heart skip in his chest. //First he offers me friendship... as an equal, and now this? Gods, how could anyone think he would be as cruel as they described to me?// "I care for you, too... no one has ever made me feel... special like this before. Just the fact that you want to see me as an equal and want to be seen with me as a... a partner rather than a pet means so much to me, Haldir," he whispered softly. "I would love to be seen with you... and... be a part of your life here as long as you wish me to be." He realized his trembling was for a different reason now and drew his shaking hand up to touch Haldir's face, gently tracing along
his jaw. //So very handsome... Gods, I could so easily lose my heart to you.//

Leaning into the gentle touch, Haldir closed his eyes for a moment, simply enjoying the feel of Faramir’s hand against his skin. “Oh, dear one,” he said softly, “you are so achingly lovely and innocent. You are no one’s pet, and I swear, you will never feel like you are again. Whether you want more than friendship with me at some point is your decision and yours alone, but everyone will see that you are most definitely my equal, at the very least…and no one will look at you like Elarin does. You will be treated with the respect you deserve. Maybe we can start tomorrow night, if you would like to accompany me to my brothers’ talan for dinner?”

Faramir's heart warmed in his chest as Haldir called him 'dear one' again, but then when the Elf said he was innocent, he shook his head. "Haldir, you... I can't believe you'd call me innocent after knowing what I've been forced to do," he said softly, not understanding what Haldir meant. "But I would very much love to go with you to your brothers’ talan... I... well, I haven't seen much of Lórien except the outskirts, which I must admit I remember little of, and right here inside your home. I'd love to go out... especially with my new clothes you've gotten me... Oh, I suppose I do need to try them on first," he said with a grin.

Haldir smiled and rested his head against Faramir’s chest for a moment before releasing him. Faramir’s own statement about his innocence proved what Haldir knew…though the steward had used him in unimaginable ways, his son had still managed to hold on to such sweet innocence, it made Haldir want to simply protect him from everything and everyone for the rest of their lives. Deciding to let the matter drop for the moment, he finally forced himself to release Faramir from his embrace and reached up in his habitual gesture to tuck his hair behind each ear. “Yes, pen velui, try on your new clothes. I think they will fit you perfectly…and we can take the entire day tomorrow if you wish and see all of the most beautiful sites Lórien has to offer.” Before Faramir could move away, however, Haldir continued. “I… do you wish for a bed of your own, as well? I rather enjoy sharing with you, you know that…but I want you to feel comfortable…”

Faramir sat back as if to get up when Haldir released him, but paused when gentle hands tucked his hair behind his ears for him. He smiled and started to get up but Haldir's words stopped him. //A different bed?// "You’re sure you enjoy sharing it and waking up to me crawling all over you, like this morning?" The Man grinned. "To be honest... I don't wish it, and practically speaking... you'd probably need a larger talan. Once we move this chest into the bedroom, there won't be room for another bed, don't you think?"

Relaxing almost at once, Haldir laughed softly at the mischievous grin on Faramir’s face. “I don’t care about practically,” he said after a moment. “Even if there was room, I was hoping you wouldn’t want one, because I do happen to enjoy you crawling all over me. I enjoy it very, very much.” Each of his last words were punctuated by a soft kiss to the tip of Faramir’s nose. “Go, pen velui…try on your clothes. I hope you like them. If you don’t, we will find you more…anything you like. Anything at all.”

Absolutely thrilled by the little kisses against his nose, Faramir couldn't stop smiling as he crossed to the chest. He rummaged around for a moment and found a blue velvet tunic with intricate gold embroidery. He looked up at Haldir after a moment and swallowed hard. The clothing was better than he'd had in such a long time, since before his father had... changed so much. "Haldir, these are... incredibly beautiful... are... are you sure they aren't too much, though?" he asked carefully as he looked at one after another of the beautifully made pieces. He set aside the blue one, wanting to save it to wear when he went out with Haldir; he selected a deep gray tunic. He had little shame left in him after all he'd been forced to do, so without even thinking he dropped the robe over a nearby chair and pulled his nightshirt up over his head and tossed it to follow the robe. He didn't even realize what he'd done until after he was standing naked in Haldir's living room. He flushed all the way to the tips of his ears and quickly donned the gray tunic that hung to just his upper thigh. He was too embarrassed to say anything and grabbed a pair of black breeches and slid them on, lacing them quickly.

Haldir shook his head and watched as Faramir touched the new clothes with such reverence. Before he could answer Faramir’s question, however, Faramir’s robe and nightshirt was off, and Haldir felt his mouth go completely dry. He felt a warmth and pressure between his legs almost at once, and though he knew he should, he found that he simply couldn’t look away. //Gods…he is beautiful. Every inch of him.// Swallowing the lump in his throat, he realized that Faramir was embarrassed and quickly got to his feet, thankful his robe would hide the arousal now resting firmly against his stomach. “The clothes pale in comparison to your beauty,” he said softly as he rested his hands on Faramir’s shoulders and gently urged him to turn around until they were facing one another. “Please…there is no reason to be embarrassed. I think you are breathtaking, pen velui, and knowing that you are relaxed enough around me to do this warms my heart.”

Faramir kept his eyes downcast until Haldir turned him and said he was breathtaking. "I... I just didn't think... " he mumbled and then looked into Haldir's eyes, recognizing desire there, but also seeing something else. It was a look that didn't frighten him, unlike Elarin's earlier. The look in Haldir's eyes made Faramir's heart skip, and his stomach felt as if a million butterflies were dancing inside. "I find you to be very handsome, too... I've thought that since I first woke up here and saw you. Golden and beautiful," he whispered softly.

Haldir lifted one hand up to let his fingertips run lightly over the curve of Faramir’s jaw. “Thank you,” he whispered, wondering how he’d been lucky enough to have this Man in his life, seemingly out of nowhere. His eyes were drawn to the full, soft lips before him, and before he realized what he was doing, he leaned forward and pressed a kiss over the corner of Faramir’s mouth. //No…you cannot do this…he has to know that you don’t want to use him. He has to want you as you want him, or he will never realize how special and perfect he really is!// Drawing back before Faramir could even part his lips, Haldir’s arms wound around his waist, and he buried his face in Faramir’s neck. “Thank you for saying that, for feeling that, and for agreeing to stay here with me, dear one.”

For a breathless moment Faramir was certain that Haldir was going to kiss him, and he did, but not in the manner his eyes spoke. Faramir was shocked as Haldir merely pressed a quick kiss against the corner of his mouth and then hugged him tight. //I wonder what I'll have to do to get him to really kiss me?// He was shocked by the thought. Just a few days ago he was terrified of the idea of even being in the same room as Haldir, and now he wanted to be kissed by him. Faramir’s arms wrapped around Haldir's waist, and he simply held onto him. It was just so sweet... Haldir surprised him every moment, it seemed, and he closed his eyes and smiled. //I don't really know or understand all that is happening, but I know that one day soon I want you to kiss me... really kiss me.// Faramir remembered what Haldir had said about having his choice of lovers, and he wondered what the Elf would say if Faramir told him he'd made his choice already: Him.

Knowing he would only become more aroused if he watched Faramir any longer, Haldir nibbled lightly on the warm skin of his neck before pulling away. “You try on your clothes, pen velui, and I will make us some breakfast. Rúmil will be taking over my duties for a few days, so if you like, we can move your furniture to wherever you want it and settle down with some books. You have plenty to chose from now.”

His pulse leapt as Haldir nibbled on his neck before drawing away again. Faramir smiled and nodded. "I'll have to be sure and thank Rúmil when we visit your brothers then... for giving you time to spend with me," Faramir said softly. He watched as Haldir walked into the kitchen and then went through the clothing, holding it up to himself or trying it on, though in the end he settled back on the simple gray and black he'd chosen before. He put everything back neatly within the chest and went to the kitchen to find Haldir setting the table. "I timed that well, I think." He grinned as he took the plates from Haldir and set the table himself and then filled their cups with warm water for their tea. He looked up and saw Haldir watching him and smiled. "What is it?"

Haldir had a hard time keeping his eyes off Faramir and couldn’t help but smile when he walked in the kitchen area. As he started automatically working, however, Haldir sighed and walked behind Faramir, letting his hands run over each of his companion’s forearms. “You don’t need to do that,” he said softly. “Please…just sit down, relax, and let me take care of you.” Unable to resist, he moved one hand and pushed Faramir’s hair to one side and pressed a kiss against the back of his neck. At such a young age, Faramir had already been subjected to more than most men experienced in a lifetime, and Haldir couldn’t bear the thoughts of him feeling that he had to ‘earn his way,’ any longer. “You are my very, very welcome guest, and my dear friend, and…//someone I think I’m falling in love with…// someone I care a great deal about already, Faramir. You don’t need to do anything but relax, enjoy yourself, and be happy.”

Faramir shivered when Haldir kissed the back of his neck and fought with himself to keep from turning around and asking Haldir to please just make him his in every way. Here was this beautiful Elf, offering him freedom and the luxury of doing nothing for a change, and he didn't want to. He wanted to help Haldir, and he simply wanted to belong to him… though he knew deep down if Haldir wasn't the sweet Elf he turned out to be, he wouldn't feel the same way. It was so strange and wonderful at the same time. "I know, but... I wish to help... " he said softly, his words trailing off as Haldir urged him to sit down. //Perhaps it's because I've been ill? He can't expect for me to stay here and not do anything... can he? But... I want to do things for him.// He realized he was almost pouting, something his father absolutely hated and out of habit schooled his features. "Thank you," he said softly and had nearly had to bite his tongue to keep from apologizing.

Haldir saw the look on Faramir’s face and bit back a smile. Moving to stand between Faramir’s legs, the Elf fell to his knees and rested his hands on his friend’s thighs. “You’re pouting, and it’s adorable,” he laughed as he gazed up into clear blue eyes. “I don’t mind us doing things together, but I don’t want you to feel that you ‘have’ to do anything for me. You don’t, and you never will. I am enjoying catering to your every need right now, though, so maybe we can figure out a way to help each other out in a day or so…how does that sound?”

When Haldir dropped to his knees before him, Faramir opened his mouth to deny that he was pouting only to close it again in a sheepish grin. "It isn't a case of feeling I have to... I... I wanted to, that's all. You've done so much for me already, and I just want you to know that I appreciate it, the least I can do is to help with a meal or something... I feel awkward watching you do everything. Does... does that makes sense?" Faramir asked softly. It was partly because he felt he should help Haldir, yet also he simply wanted to take care of the Elf as well as Haldir was caring for him.

“It does,” Haldir said softly. “I understand…really, I do. But please, just indulge me for now. Just sit and talk to me, or look over your books, or decide where you want the bookshelves and chest moved. At least give me the rest of today to do things for you…please?”

"All right," Faramir said softly, realizing that he simply didn't have it in him to say no to Haldir, especially when he said please. He reached out and brushed his fingers against Haldir's cheek. "One day though, you are going to have to let me be the one to take care of you... because I want to and no other reason."

Faramir’s words made Haldir’s smile widen and once again, he felt incredibly happy. He wondered if maybe Faramir was actually planning on staying for good…if he really might stay just because he wanted to. “Deal,” he said softy as he turned his head and pressed a kiss to Faramir’s palm. “But not today. Today is Faramir Day, and you simply aren’t allowed to lift a finger.”

Laughing as Haldir declared it Faramir Day, the Man of honor sat back in his chair. "All right then... as long as I get my turn one day," he said, smiling. He watched as Haldir stood again and found himself enjoying yet again watching the Elf he knew he was losing his heart to. //Gods, I never imagined that night when Boromir woke me that I would find someone so kind as Haldir. I truly expected to not even survive my first few days, and here I am, almost a week later, being waited on by the most beautiful person I've ever known. Not just his handsome face, beautiful eyes, and soft perfect lips, not even his broad shoulders and strong arms that held me so tight against him earlier... but his heart. His soul. And I'm so easily losing my heart to him that it should frighten me…but it doesn’t. It feels wonderful.//

Chapter 6

Faramir sat at his new writing desk as Haldir read a book on the couch nearby, and he composed a letter to be taken to Boromir to assure him that his ‘little one’ was, in fact, in a much better and…happier place. At least this first full day with him feeling better from his fever had been incredibly happy.

My dearest brother,

I am writing to assure you that your little one is fine. I did not believe I would be, and I know you did not either, considering the nature of how I left, but please be assured that I am very well and very happy.

And no, I did not escape as we discussed. I am here with he to whom I was gifted, but…he turned out to be a very kind Elf. He has given me all I could ever ask for or want and has asked nothing in return other than my friendship.

I became ill shortly after arriving, only a cold and fever, but my new guardian cared for me throughout it. I think you would like him a great deal. He treats me…with more respect than I am accustomed to, considering the last several years.

The one who took me has been placed under arrest, in fact, even though I was given, my guardian feels that he should not have accepted a person in exchange for insults, though now that he knows the way my life was before, he is glad that it happened and honestly, I am, too.

I love you, and I miss you, but I am in such a better place. Even if my guardian were to change his mind and ask me to be his servant, I would do it gladly, but at this point he will not even let me refill my own cup of tea. Such a change from what I’m accustomed to!

I do not believe I will be returning home for a great while, perhaps not ever, but I will miss you. Perhaps we can try and write and meet somewhere between our homes so you can be assured by your own eyes that I am very well.

As you can tell I have not used names in this for fear of it falling into the wrong hands.

Just know that I love you and I am safe, safer now than I have been in a great while.

With love,
Your little one.


Faramir turned the page of his book and leaned his head back against Haldir's shoulder, not even realizing that he was using his guardian as a pillow. After breakfast that morning they had moved the chest into the bedroom, and later Faramir wrote a letter to his brother, then by that afternoon he and Haldir had sat down on the couch to read. During the course of the afternoon, Faramir had shifted on the couch to avoid a beam of sunlight that kept creeping over his pages and making it difficult to read. He supposed he was being lazy, he could have moved or put something over the window, but he didn't want to get up, and he wasn't about to say anything because he didn't want to disturb Haldir who seemed engrossed in his own book. So he had shifted until he was leaning against Haldir as he read, and the Elf didn't seem to mind that.

Haldir tried his best not to smile each time Faramir moved closer. He was grateful for the ray of sunlight that seemed intent on chasing his companion across the couch, and he casually moved so that Faramir’s head would be cushioned against his shoulder as the afternoon wore on. While his book was interesting, he found his mind wandering more than once to the Man beside him. Breathing in the soft scent of almond soap and some sweet, unnamable fragrance that was Faramir’s own, and one that Haldir was quickly growing incredibly fond of, he felt relaxed and more content than he’d felt in all the countless centuries of his life thus far.

He wasn’t sure how Faramir felt about him, but Haldir knew his own feelings were growing deeper each day. Still afraid to push things too far, lest the still somewhat timid young Man might think that Haldir only wanted him for one thing – namely sex – they had shared little more than chaste kisses and gentle touches outside of the bedroom. Even inside, Haldir did nothing more than hold Faramir close, relishing the feel of holding such sweet innocence in his arms every night.

Haldir’s head tilted to one side and rested on the top of Faramir’s, and while his eyes stayed glued to his book, he took a deep breath and smiled, thinking how perfectly they fit together like this, even while doing something as innocent as passing a warm afternoon on the couch and reading.

Smiling about something in his book, Faramir turned and looked up at Haldir only to find that he was already looking at him. "I'm not disturbing you, am I?" he asked, wondering if maybe his shifting around on the couch had irritated Haldir.

Haldir shook his head and smiled. “No, pen velui, you aren’t disturbing me at all. In fact, I quite enjoy relaxing with you like this. I can’t seem to stop looking at you, though, so I hope I’m not disturbing you…” His gaze moved from Faramir’s dear face to the door of his talan. “Someone is coming,” he sighed. “Just when I thought how perfect this afternoon was and hoped it would continue…”

Feeling his heart warm from the endearment that Haldir seemed to bestow on him so easily, Faramir smiled. He began to shake his head that no, Haldir was not disturbing him, but the Elf’s next words made him sit up and lay his book aside. "Maybe it is one of your brothers?"

“It doesn’t sound like them,” Haldir said, putting his own book aside and getting to his feet. He was at the door waiting by the time footsteps landed at the bottom of the stairway to his talan, thinking longingly of how much he wanted to get back on the couch next to Faramir.

Before anyone could knock, Haldir opened the door and sighed when he saw who it was. “Elarin, didn’t I tell you to send me any messages you might have via my brothers?”

Elarin bowed his head and looked down for a moment, his face flushing as he remembered how Haldir had closed the door in his face the last time he’d been here. “Yes sir, you did, but Lord Celeborn asked me to deliver this message to you personally.” Holding out a small piece of parchment rolled and tied with a silver ribbon, he kept his head down as Haldir sighed and closed his fingers on the document.

As Haldir untied the ribbon and began to read, Elarin couldn’t resist lifting his eyes just enough so that he could see inside the talan. Faramir was sitting on the couch alone and looking more than a little uncomfortable. //I bet Haldir takes a firm hand with him. And I bet he is so afraid of his master that he wouldn’t open his mouth if I told him Haldir said I could have my way with him…especially if he learned his lesson last time and learned to be seen and not heard…//

Faramir sat up a little straighter on the couch as he saw who was at the door and tried to keep his eyes from betraying how uncomfortable Elarin made him feel. After a moment though, he almost felt like pulling the blanket on the back of the couch over him for one more layer of protection between himself and Elarin. The Elf not only made him uncomfortable, he realized, he also frightened Faramir...more than the Man cared to admit. He remained silent as he watched Haldir read the message and tried not to make eye contact with Elarin again.

Elarin bit back a smirk as Faramir looked away from him. //Oh, he wants me…and who can blame him? Haldir is handsome enough, but I bet the little whore wants to know what it’s like to be with a real Elf!//

“Very well,” Haldir said. “I think I need to speak with Lord Celeborn personally about this, rather than send a message. You may go, Elarin. I will handle this from here.”

“Yes, sir,” Elarin said, in his most convincing voice, hoping to have at least one moment alone with Faramir. “Would you like me to stay and…watch over your //pet// talan?”

“My talan is perfectly safe, Elarin,” Haldir said firmly, remembering how uncomfortable Faramir was around the raven-haired Elf. “I said you may go. I suggest you do so now.” With that, he closed the door in Elarin’s face again.

Faramir almost gaped when Elarin asked to watch over the talan and was grateful when Haldir quickly dispensed with that idea. Once Haldir closed the door behind their unexpected visitor, Faramir relaxed as he watched Haldir still looking down at the parchment in his hand. "Will...will you be gone long?" Faramir asked, suddenly realizing he hadn't been left alone in Haldir's talan since he'd arrived.

Haldir looked up at Faramir and shook his head. “Hopefully only a few hours,” he said, laying the parchment on the small table that sat by the door. Crossing over to the couch, he sat down again and, as was his habit now, tucked a lock of hair behind Faramir’s ear. “Will you be all right until I return?”

Smiling as Haldir tucked his hair behind his ear, Faramir nodded. "I think so...just hadn't realized until just now I haven't been completely alone since I arrived here...maybe I'll take the opportunity to rummage through your things," he teased.

Laughing softly, Haldir took one of Faramir’s hands in his own and squeezed it gently. “Well, I have nothing to hide…much,” he countered with a smile. “You already know my darkest secret, so there is little that I can think of that could be worse than that. Though if you find anything, I’d be anxious to see what it is. Even an Elf can forget a lot as the centuries go by. There’s no telling what you might find.”

Laughing as well, Faramir shook his head, "I'll be sure and let you know what I discover then," he teased. Looking down at their joined hands, Faramir felt a wave of happiness wash over him. It felt so right sitting with Haldir this way. "I guess you should go though, you don't want to keep your Lord waiting, I'll be here when you get back...I'll just finish up my book and keep your spot on the couch warm," he said with a grin.

Unable to resist, Haldir leaned forward and placed a soft kiss against Faramir’s cheek. If he had been one to blush, he thought, he would be practically glowing now. Quickly getting to his feet, he hurried across the talan, stopping only to grab his cloak from a hook on the wall. “I shall return to you and my warm spot on the couch as soon as possible,” he said, giving one final look back at Faramir and almost letting the words ‘I’ll miss you’ fall from his lips. Smiling ruefully at himself, he walked out the door and hurried in the direction of the talan Lord Celeborn shared with the Lady of the Wood, who also happened to be his wife.

Faramir felt his face grow warmer as Haldir kissed his cheek and yet again he wondered what he would need to do to get a real kiss from him one day soon. He watched as Haldir headed out the door, and he waved goodbye to him. "I'll be waiting," Faramir said, smiling. As the door closed behind Haldir, he sighed and grabbed his book. He leaned back on the couch and immediately thought it was nothing compared to leaning against Haldir.

Elarin, who had started back to his talan, was still more than a little upset at practically being thrown out of Haldir’s home yet again. It had happened often over the years, as he’d tried to ingratiate himself with his captain or even his brothers, but for some reason, no one seemed to let their relationship go beyond what it was, which was nothing, really, except the same distant, almost disdainful relationship Haldir shared with almost every other Elf in Lórien.

Hearing a noise behind him, Elarin turned to see Haldir himself making his way toward Lord Celeborn’s talan. Rarely did any audience with the Lord of the Golden Wood last less than an afternoon, and a slow, devious grin touched the dark-haired Elf’s lips. //A little taste of Haldir’s pet is the very least I deserve. Besides…I could tell he wanted me. He tries to look away, but undoubtedly, it’s only so that his master won’t see the longing in his eyes…//

Elarin stopped and waited for Haldir to get out of sight, then turned and made his way slowly back the way he’d come. Moments later, he was making his way up the winding staircase, not even bothering to try and sneak up on the man, so sure was he that Faramir would welcome him.

Faramir had settled back on the couch reading, though more often than not his mind wandered to thoughts of Haldir. How kind he'd been to him, how sweet he was, how incredibly sexy he was when he smiled mischievously when they were teasing one another. He already cared for him so much, and he wondered if he should simply admit to how he felt or at least thought he felt. He'd never been in love before, but surely thinking about someone so much and missing them when they hadn't been gone but a few minutes had to be love? His musings were cut short when he heard someone coming up the stairs, and he looked over and saw the parchment on the table where Haldir had left it. Maybe he needed to take it with him? Faramir closed his book and carried it with him to grab the parchment and meet Haldir at the door. Without looking to see who it was first, he simply swung the door wide with a smile on his face and the words "Forgot something?" on his lips, but immediately the words died in his throat. "What are you doing here?"

Elarin heard footsteps crossing the talan and grinned. //He knew I’d come back, the little slut. I bet he’s been waiting for Haldir to leave so we could have a moment alone.// Seeing nothing but the smile on Faramir’s face as he opened the door, Elarin quickly stepped inside and reached out to grab the Man’s wrist. “What do you think I’m doing here, pet?” he asked, jerking on Faramir’s arm and pulling him close. “I came back to sample a bit of what I’m sure Haldir has gotten every night and day since you were delivered to him…”

Faramir gasped as Elarin grabbed his wrist. He tried to move away from the large Elf, but his grip merely tightened fiercely around Faramir's wrist. "I...you shouldn't be here...you have to leave!" Faramir snapped as he struggled to pull away again. He didn't know what to do or say, but he certainly wasn't going to just let this happen. He no longer had to, and he didn't want this. The heavy book was still clutched in his other hand, and he tightened his grip on it, determined to use it as a weapon if he had to.

Squeezing Faramir’s wrist even harder, Elarin backed him up against the wall next to the door and kicked it closed behind him. //So…he likes to play games, does he? I don’t have time for this! Maybe I should just cut to the chase and tell him to get on his hands and knees…// Getting more furious by the moment as he felt Faramir trying to pull away, Elarin moved closer until merely a hair’s breadth separated their lips. He knew how to make these games stop…quickly. “Listen, pet,” he said as his free hand captured Faramir’s, which was still holding the book, and he ground his already aching erection against the Man’s thigh. “We both know why you’re here, what you do for your ‘master’. Well, I suggest you get ready to do what you do best…Haldir gave me permission to use you as I see fit…and I see fit to fuck you, right here, right now.”

Chapter 7

Faramir's eyes widened in both pain and fear as Elarin forced him against the wall. When he grabbed his other hand in a viselike grip he feared he would end up raped right in Haldir's living room. Fighting to think beyond his fear, he felt Elarin grind his arousal against him. Revolted and terrified, Faramir gathered his strength and kneed the large Elf in the groin, forcing him to release him and stumble back. Faramir tried to push past him, but wasn't fast enough, when he turned to hit Elarin with the book he found himself propelled backwards against the other wall from a stinging backhanded slap across his face. He knew he couldn't continue to fight him, Elarin was much larger, and in much, much better shape physically than Faramir. The only other choice he had was to scream. So he did.

Grunting from the kick to his groin, Elarin nevertheless managed to throw himself on top of Faramir pressing one hand hard over his mouth as he tried to quell the retched screams that seemed to fill the talan. “You dare defy your master? Just shut up and let’s get on with it, and I won’t tell him you disobeyed. This entire episode can be our little secret…it’ll save you another beating at the very least.” As he spoke, he captured both of Faramir’s wrists with one hand and held them above his head as Faramir continued to struggle and try to free himself. “Now, not another word, pet, and I might consider using something to ease the way…though I’m sure Haldir has taken care of that for the day already…” Slowly, he started to move his hand from over Faramir’s mouth so he could free his raging erection and finally get down to business.

When Elarin threw himself against him, Faramir's breath was nearly knocked from him. He struggled to breathe through his nose as the large hand clamped over his mouth and continued to writhe under Elarin, trying to get away from him. Before he could even think, his hands were captured and pinned above him, but at least his voice was no longer blocked. Dragging in a deep breath he screamed for Haldir as loud as he could and thrashed about under the larger frame, though it was to little avail.

Elarin’s hand immediately went back to cover Faramir’s mouth, and he wondered why someone who spread his legs for Haldir would dare refuse him. Before he could do or say anything else, however, he felt his entire body being lifted from atop Faramir in one smooth motion. His head felt as if it were on fire, and just before he was slammed face first into the wall before him, he realized he’d been lifted by his hair. Ignoring the fiery pain, he turned around and suddenly found himself face to face with the one Elf on all of Arda he was terrified of…especially with the fire that shone in his eyes as it did now. //Haldir. Gods…what have I done?//

Haldir had been almost to Celeborn’s talan when he realized that he should have brought the notes his Lord had sent, so they could discuss each point in turn, and hopefully keep their meeting short. He’d still been rather far away when he heard his name being called and knew at once that it was Faramir. Fear clutched at his heart, making it hard for him to breathe even as he sprinted back to his talan so fast that his feet barely touched the ground. When he’d opened the door and saw Elarin on top of Faramir, he’d lost all reason, and before he’d even been able to utter a word, he found his hand still clutching a fistful of thick, black hair, long after he’d released Elarin and flung the Elf across the room.

Faramir gasped for breath as Elarin's weight was suddenly lifted off of him, and he closed his eyes in relief as he saw Haldir. His head was pounding and his throat was dry from screaming, but at least Haldir had heard him. Gods, he couldn't have continued to fight against Elarin. He watched as Haldir advanced on the dark-haired Elf, and after a moment he dragged himself up onto unsteady legs to lean against the wall.

Elarin stared wide-eyed at his Captain, and the first words to spill from his mouth were a blatant lie. "He… he wanted this… tell him," he demanded of Faramir, "he wanted this!" His head was ringing from the blow against the wall, and he stayed where he was to keep from agitating Haldir further.

Never taking his eyes from Elarin, Haldir unclenched his fingers and felt the handful of hair still caught in his fist drop to the floor. “Not. One. Word,” He ground out between gritting teeth as he grabbed Elarin’s shirt and lifted him up against the wall so that his feet were several inches from the floor. “Faramir. Are you all right?”

"Y… yes, I am now… but Haldir I didn't… I didn't ask for this," Faramir said softly, wincing from how raw his throat was from screaming so much.

Despite Haldir's warning Elarin continued his lie. "Who are you going to believe? Some Man you've known a week or one of your own wardens you've known for centuries?"

A slow, red cloud of anger was settling over Haldir’s eyes, and it took a moment for Elarin’s words to register. Faramir had called out for him, had needed him…and though Elarin was right in saying they’d known each other for centuries, and he’d only known Faramir for a week, he didn’t even consider believing the other Elf. Not releasing his hold on Elarin, Haldir turned his head slightly and looked into Faramir’s eyes for only a moment before turning back to the dark gaze of his warden. “I am going to believe Faramir,” he said in a calm, perfectly even voice that belied the fire in his eyes. “And I am going to make sure you never even consider looking at him again.”

Elarin's mouth dropped open to protest when Haldir said he believed Faramir over him, but then noticed the look in his commander's eyes and held his tongue. This was not going at all like he planned.

Faramir stood unable to do anything other than try to keep his legs from buckling. He swallowed hard when Haldir said that he believed him, and his shoulders sagged in relief. At least now he was certain that the hurtful words Elarin had spoken earlier had been nothing but lies. He hadn't believed that Haldir would allow him to come here and do this, but at least now he knew for certain.

Haldir slowly pressed his hand against Elarin’s throat, until he saw the Elf’s face growing dark as he struggled to breathe. “You are stripped of your rank,” he said softly, not letting up on the pressure in the least, “and all of Lórien will know what you are – nothing but a sad, pathetic excuse for an Elf who cannot find a willing partner.” His free hand moved down between Elarin’s legs, and he grabbed through the fabric of the Elf’s leggings at the now-limp flesh and sac that hung below. Squeezing hard, he twisted his hand and ground Elarin’s balls together as he continued. “And I think you will have no use for these after today.”

Elarin's eyes bulged as Haldir's hand tightened around his throat, and he fought for breath, his hands scrabbling ineffectually at Haldir's. When he was stripped of his rank, he jolted, feeling fury roll through him at the young man standing a few feet away, but before he could think he was in excruciating pain and screamed with all the breath he could muster.

Faramir winced unable to see someone, even someone he loathed as much as Elarin suffer, and he honestly wasn't sure Haldir wouldn't just finish the Elf. Not that he didn't deserve what he was getting… but he didn't wish Haldir to kill the Elf… for Haldir's sake alone he moved forward. "Haldir… Haldir please, I think… that's enough… " he said softly, placing his hand on Haldir's arm. "I'm okay… just… make him go." He had no idea what the laws in Lórien were, but he knew what they were in Gondor. Defending a ‘pet’ was not considered self-defense or the same as defending a mate.

The softly spoken words and Faramir’s touch combined to calm Haldir almost at once, though he would have still gladly made Elarin suffer even more. Turning to look at the Man beside him, he saw clear, familiar blue eyes pleading silently with him, and he felt the blood that was pounding in his ears slowly settle. Nodding, he loosened his hold on Elarin and heard him gasp for breath. Without another word, he drug the Elf over to the door and wasn’t at all surprised to find one of his most trusted captains, Ereinion, an Elf who lived in a talan just behind Haldir’s at the bottom of the stairway, nervously gazing up at him, having heard the screams and sounds of fighting and come to investigate. “Take him to the prisoner’s quarters,” he said, practically throwing the moaning Elf down at his captain. “After all of Lórien knows what he is, he will be banned from her borders forever…after, of course, we will see how Lord Celeborn feels about a rapist sailing to Aman.”

Elarin found himself surprised when Faramir asked Haldir to stop. That puzzled him even through the fog of pain. He felt Haldir's hands release him, only to drag him to the door and throw him out. He choked and gasped for breath as Ereinion caught him and slid to his knees before the other Elf dragged him up again. Before he could even look back the door was slammed shut and then realization finally dawned on him.

Faramir stood silently as Haldir slammed the door, and he backed up a step when the Elf turned to look at him. He didn't know what to say for a moment and simply stood motionless, before tears welled up in his eyes, and he threw himself into Haldir's arms, finally letting all of his emotions out. He murmured ‘thank you for coming back for me’ over and over again.

Haldir’s arms wound around Faramir’s waist at once, and he sank to the floor, holding the shivering young man close as he closed his eyes and let his hands roam, assuring himself that Faramir wasn’t injured. “Gods, I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I knew he was trouble, but I never thought he’d go this far.”

Faramir hugged Haldir even closer as he sank down with him and he tried to calm himself down. "I didn't either," he said softly through his tears. "I fought back, but I just wasn't any match for him… the best I could do was scream and hope you or at least someone kind would hear me." Burying his face against Haldir's neck his breath hitched as he still tried to calm himself. He ached a bit from being thrown around and realized that his face hurt. At that moment he remembered the slap and leaned back, touching his finger to his lip and finding drying blood there.

Seeing Faramir’s injury made Haldir wish he’d really hurt Elarin, but the Elf was long gone now. Moving a hand that was suddenly shaking up to gently cup Faramir’s face, Haldir let his thumb run lightly over his chin, wincing as he saw both the split lip and the bruises already forming on his companion’s wrists. “I know,” he whispered softly, releasing Faramir’s chin to bring each wrist to his lips for a soft kiss over the darkened skin before continuing. “Elarin is strong, even for an Elf. I just thank the Valar I had to come back for the note Celeborn sent…I don’t even want to think about what would have happened if…Gods. I just can’t believe he thought he had the right to touch you, dear one.”

"He claimed you gave him permission," Faramir whispered softly. "I didn't believe him though, and then when he lied and said I wanted it, I knew for certain. He… he seemed… well, he thought… that you and I were… he thinks probably what most others do, that I am here serving my 'purpose', just as Feanor and my father intended me to." Watching Haldir's eyes darken, Faramir leaned forward and rested his head against his chest. "And if you say any of this is your fault, I'll… I don't know… bop you with that book I planned to hit Elarin with or something."

Once again, Haldir’s anger at Elarin was tempered by Faramir’s words, and he couldn’t help but chuckle as he was teasingly threatened with the rather large book. He’d never known anyone who could make him laugh as easily, and even now, only moments after being attacked and almost raped, Faramir was trying to calm him and take his guilt away. “As far as I’m concerned, your only ‘purpose’ here is to be happy, pen velui.” Pressing his lips to soft ginger-colored hair, he sighed and pulled Faramir closer. “I think Lord Celeborn will understand if I have to postpone our meeting. In the meantime, as soon as you’re up to it, I think we should take that ‘tour’ around Lórien, so everyone will see how much you mean to me…and no one will dare touch you unless you wish it. I know…I mean, I understand if you do see someone you wish to…be with, but for now, I hope you will at least let me offer my protection, if nothing else.”

Faramir's heart felt lighter when Haldir chuckled, and he was pleased that the Elf wasn't nearly so upset as before. Neither of them could have known that Elarin would attempt what he did. He sighed softly when Haldir pressed his lips against him and he scooted into his guardian's lap. "I am happy here with you, and I would love to go with you anywhere you like, but… I don't want your protection," he said softly. When Haldir opened his mouth to say something in response, Faramir pressed his fingers against his lips. "I wish to be with you for no other reason than you make me happy. I don't want anyone else. Only you. Do you realize that not once, but twice you have fought for me now? Once you didn't even know my name, and you fought for me. I am grateful for that, and your saving me once again today… but I don't just desire protection." //I desire you, but now after what just happened might not be the best time to say it.//

Haldir’s heart felt lighter as Faramir spoke, and the thought crossed his mind that while he wanted to protect the Man in his arms from anything and anyone who might hurt him, he wanted so much more than that as well. Gazing into sparkling blue eyes, he let his fingertips trace lightly over the dear face before him, and he felt his heart skip a beat at the trust and honesty in Faramir’s gaze. “I will always fight for you,” he whispered softly. “And I will give you anything you desire, for as long as I draw breath.” He knew, without the slightest doubt, that he was no longer falling for Faramir…he’d fallen, completely and utterly, in love with him, though he couldn’t say exactly when it had happened. Perhaps as those startling piercing eyes gazed at him for the first time, or perhaps their first night together, when Faramir had snuggled so close and relaxed against him, unconsciously trusting Haldir even in his sleep, despite what he’d been told. Or perhaps, it was when Faramir was afraid and called out to him, only moments ago, knowing that Haldir would save him.

Faramir smiled despite the ache of doing so and buried his face against Haldir's neck. He was still feeling shaken up from his attack, but simply being in Haldir's arms calmed his nerves immensely. After several long moments he drew away and looked into Haldir's beautiful blue eyes. "Come sit with me a bit before you go meet with Lord Celeborn? I know, you said you'd ask him to postpone, but you don't have to… I… I think I will be fine here again… though I won't be opening the door to anyone for a while, I think, until I'm absolutely certain who is on the other side… or… or take me with you. I can sit outside or something and wait… but I do not think it would be right for you not to go see him. He summoned you for a reason, I'm sure, and I don't want him to think that I'm keeping you from your duties."

Haldir closed his eyes and relaxed as Faramir rested against him for long, perfect moments. He couldn’t seem to stop touching the young man, and even now, his hands moved softly over Faramir’s back and arms, soothing himself as much as he was soothing his companion. “How about I have Rúmil ask Lord Celeborn to postpone our meeting until later this evening? You and I can rest here for the afternoon, then go together to see him before we have dinner with my brothers? I think it is time my Lord met you, since I’m hoping you will be a permanent resident in Lórien. Despite your experiences so far, I think you would grow to love it here, once the less…pleasant aspects of our fair race are weeded out. Though…we can have dinner with Rúmil and Orophin some other night if you aren’t up to it tonight.”

"I was looking forward to going tonight, so yes, I'd still like to go. I imagine I might not look very presentable at the moment, but I would like to go anyway. I'd also like to meet Lord Celeborn as well. I do not think all Elves are like Feanor or Elarin. Feanor, in fact, never tried to… to do that, he just treated me how he thought I should be considering how my father gave me to him, and he was trying to 'buy' you with a gift, I think. Elarin though… he truly frightened me more than anyone else has in a great while," Faramir whispered, remembering his time with the Haradrim. They had raped him, though they'd had permission to do so. He shuddered from the memory and tried to push it away.

“I think I would have killed Elarin, had you not asked me to stop,” Haldir said softly, almost to himself. As Faramir shuddered in his arms, he shook his head and pushed that thought away, not even wanting to think about his former warden until he was certain Faramir was truly all right. “What are you thinking about, dear one? Elarin or…something else?”

Faramir looked up at Haldir and shook his head slowly. "Something… from what seems a lifetime ago," he whispered. "I… it was a long time ago, Haldir… this today just… reminded me of it, but it also reminds me that despite what bad has happened since I arrived here… much good has, too. I met you… I'm here with you now, and that makes up for so much. And… to be honest… the only reason I asked you to stop with Elarin wasn't to save his sorry skin, but yours. I do not know your laws here, but I feared if you killed him that I would lose you. I couldn't bear that thought."

Haldir yet again wondered what kind of life Faramir had lived before he’d been brought here. He knew the basics, of course, but could scarcely bear to imagine a man treating his own son in such a degrading and heartless manner. “Oh, dear one, you won’t lose me,” he said softly. “Nothing would have happened to me if I had killed him. In fact, I dare say my killing him would have been a mercy compared to what will happen to him once Lord Celeborn hears of his actions. I…well, I am the highest ranked of the Marchwardens, and what he tried to do is punishable by whatever means I decide. And though I would have killed him out of pure, unadulterated rage, it would have been my right as your…well…as your guardian, I suppose, though most often it is the mate of the injured party who gets to decide how to punish the wrongdoer. I know…I mean, I know I am not your mate, but… //Gods, I would love to be…// you get the idea, I’m sure…”

Faramir nodded as he listened to Haldir explain and found himself almost smiling when Haldir somewhat stumbled around his title of guardian versus mate. "Well… in all but one way, you are my mate, I would suppose," Faramir said softly, hoping he hadn't said something he shouldn't have. "We share a bed, a home, just… not… not our bodies //though Gods, I've wanted to// so it isn't so different." Shifting in Haldir's arms, he realized they were still in the middle of the living room floor. "Why don't we move somewhere easier on your knees?"

Smiling, Haldir wondered if he would ever have the privilege of knowing Faramir intimately, of sharing more than soft kisses and long, perfect nights holding him close…or if Faramir would only want that as a way to thank him or repay him. Pushing his dark thoughts away, Haldir managed to stand up, still holding Faramir close to him, cradling him as if he were the most precious gift on all of Arda…and, to Haldir, that’s exactly what he was. Pressing a soft kiss to Faramir’s temple, he carried him toward their bed and gently lay him down. “Let me give Rúmil a message to take to Lord Celeborn,” he said softly. “I will call for him…don’t worry, I won’t leave you alone, dear one. I’m just going to the door.”

Yet again, Faramir felt absolutely treasured as Haldir picked him up and carried him to their bed. When he laid him down, part of him wished to simply pull Haldir into the bed with him and offer himself to him. "All right," he whispered in response and smiled up at Haldir. He watched as Haldir backed away, and he couldn't help loving him all the more for the gesture. //Love. I think maybe that is exactly what this is. I love him.// When Haldir returned, Faramir scooted over in the bed to make room and then immediately snuggled back up against the Elf.

Both arms wrapped tightly around Faramir as soon as Haldir crawled into their bed. If Haldir held him a bit closer than normal, it was only because he realized how close he’d come to possibly losing the Man he loved to the dark place from which he’d just managed to find his way clear of. His earlier consuming rage at Elarin and the sudden fear that had almost overwhelmed him as he heard Faramir calling for him suddenly combined to exhaust him, and he found his eyes drooping almost before Faramir had finished snuggling against him. “Rest, my lovely one,” he whispered softly as his eyes unfocused and glazed. “Dream about happiness and laughter and snuggling on the couch with an Elf who would do anything to make you smile. And before you ask…that Elf would be me.”

Faramir laughed softly and pressed a gentle kiss against Haldir's cheek. "I think I knew that… sweet dreams, Haldir," he whispered. His eyes sank closed as he rested against his guardian, and Faramir hoped one day he could tell Haldir how he really felt. He thought maybe it was still a bit too soon. Haldir may not think it genuine, especially after what had happened with Elarin. So Faramir would bide his time and wait until the time was right to tell Haldir how he felt. He fell asleep with a soft smile on his face, despite everything, even the cut that marred his lip… he was perfectly content in strong, protective, caring arms.

Chapter 8

Faramir's hand slipped easily into Haldir's as they walked from Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel's large talan toward the one Rúmil and Orophin shared. Faramir had been slightly nervous when meeting the Lord of the Golden Wood, but the noble Elf had put him at ease and welcomed him to Lórien. He had said that Faramir was welcome in Lórien as long as he would like. He had been ushered into a large library for a few minutes while he and Haldir spoke alone, and when Haldir came back to find him walking around the large room, his fingers running over the rows and rows of books, Haldir's smile had nearly melted his heart. As they walked he could feel the eyes of many other Elves upon them, and he wished he knew what they were thinking. His hand gripped Haldir's that much tighter, and when they finally made their way up to Rúmil and Orophin's door, Faramir brushed his hand nervously over the dark blue velvet tunic. "Are you certain that they don't mind us being a little late?"

Haldir let his thumb run lightly over the back of Faramir’s hand as he turned and smiled at him. He was still angry at Elarin for his behavior earlier that day, but grateful to Lord Celeborn for agreeing with Haldir’s punishment and banning the Elf from Lórien’s borders from this day forward. As he looked at the young man beside him, Haldir could see that Faramir had, for the most part, put the incident behind him…either that or he was now simply focused on the matter at hand – their dinner with Rúmil and Orophin. “I’m sure, pen velui,” he said softly as he caught Faramir’s free hand in his own and gave it a gentle squeeze. “And please…stop fussing. You look incredibly handsome, as always, and my brothers will fall under your spell as surely as I have.”

Faramir's eyes widened for a moment as Haldir caught his other hand and then he smiled. "I… I wasn't… fussing… exactly," he murmured, feeling his face color even as he spoke. His nerves seemed to lessen as he looked into Haldir's eyes, and he smiled. "I am looking forward to this evening… I guess I'm just a little nervous. I just… want your brothers to like me," he said softly before the door opened.

"So are you two going to spend all night standing at our door or were you planning to knock?" Orophin teased as he looked at the couple so intent on one another that they hadn’t even taken a moment to turn to look at him.

Haldir pointedly ignored Orophin and smiled at Faramir, trying to get him to relax. “Now, Orophin you’ll have to watch out for. He’s decidedly nosy. He can’t shoot a bow half as well as he thinks he can, and sometimes, at the end of a long day, his feet stink.” Pretending to only now notice his brother standing at the doorway and scowling, Haldir finally released Faramir’s hand and winked at Orophin. “Oh, hello, brother. Didn’t see you standing there…”

Faramir laughed and shook his head. He turned and smiled at Orophin. "Thank you again for inviting me," he said politely.

Orophin smiled in return and stepped back from the door to let them in, "Thank you for accepting our invitation… Haldir so rarely goes out of his own talan, so I think you are a good influence on him," he teased. His eyes had noted the slight bruise and split lip that Faramir had, and he tried to recall if he'd seen him with those the day before. He was almost certain he hadn't, but he could never imagine those marks coming from his brother. He tried to push any thoughts of that away and led them into the talan. "Dinner is almost ready, just have a seat in here while I help Rúmil finish up," he said, gesturing toward a small couch.

Haldir sat on the couch next to Faramir, who was still holding on to his hand tightly. “They’re always happy to see me outside of my talan,” he smiled. “They go on and on about me not being sociable enough, so don’t think Orophin was just saying that to make you feel better. He meant it.” Looking around the small talan, Haldir couldn’t help comparing it to the one he now shared with Faramir as he heard his two brothers bustling around in the kitchen. “Maybe we should put more shelves in the front room, like they’ve done. What do you think?”

Faramir felt somewhat childish clinging to Haldir the way he was, but he couldn't seem to release his hand even as they sat down on the couch. He was slightly surprised that Haldir didn't spend much time outside his talan, but then he recalled even when he lived at home, well before everything changed that he himself had spent much of his time inside his room or the library reading. When Haldir asked him about the shelves his eyes widened for a moment. //He's including me in plans for the talan?// "I… I think it is very nice, I am sure you could use it for more books," he said carefully, trying not to include himself just in case Haldir hadn't intended it to sound as it had.

Turning to look at the man beside him, Haldir shook his head. “I was thinking that we could use it for more books, when you finish all the ones that came last week. And whatever items you might pick up over the years. I know you still think I’m going to one day ask you to leave, but I won’t…I promise. So, please…consider the talan we’ll be returning to tonight as ‘our’ talan, and the bed we snuggle up together in as ‘our’ bed.” Looking around the room quickly, he arched one eyebrow and chuckled, noting that neither of his brothers was in the room, though they could most likely easily hear them. “Not that I snuggle, of course. But if I did, it would be in ‘our’ bed.”

Watching Haldir's eyes, all Faramir could see in them was honesty, and he smiled. "Our talan… I… if you are certain," he whispered, and then found himself grinning as Haldir continued about snuggling. "Yes, of course. You never snuggle… ever," he said firmly and nodding his head as he heard someone in the other room snort. Leaning forward he whispered softly against Haldir's ear. "I don't think they believe me."

Haldir lifted one hand to rest on Faramir’s neck as his thumb trailed over warm skin. “I don’t either,” he said softly, unable to resist closing his eyes and smelling of the soft hair that was brushing gently over his cheek. Raising his voice just enough so that his brothers would hear him, he continued. “Though, I think that my brothers know I would have them out on patrol for the next year if they dared tell anyone, so I think our secret is still safe.” Before pulling away, he pressed his lips to Faramir’s cheek just as Rúmil walked through the doorway. “Isn’t that right, Rúmil?” he asked, biting back his smile, but knowing Faramir and his brothers would know he was only joking anyway.

“Yes, brother, whatever you say,” Rúmil said, bowing mockingly in Haldir’s direction as he sat down a tray filled with food. Orophin had told him about the marks on Faramir’s neck, and almost against his will, Rúmil’s eyes were drawn toward the dark bruises. “But, for tonight, you are merely my brother, and not my captain, and I think it seems rather obvious that you’re not putting on your stern and unsmiling face in front of Faramir, so, please…just hush and come help me with the drinks.”

Feeling butterflies dance in his stomach from the soft kiss that Haldir brushed against his cheek, Faramir felt his face color slightly when he saw Rúmil enter the room just then and smile at them. He laughed when Rúmil teased Haldir and found himself starting to relax and enjoy the way that the brothers teased one another. Wistfully thinking of the way he and Boromir teased one another, he sat back and finally released Haldir's hand so he could help his brother. He reached out to take one of the small berries off the tray and noticed Rúmil's eyes widen slightly as he saw the bruise on Faramir's wrist where his tunic gaped at the sleeve. Drawing his hand back quickly, he leaned back against the couch and watched as Haldir followed his brother into the other room.

Haldir gave one last smile over his shoulder in Faramir’s direction, already regretting the loss of contact and the simple feeling of warmth he felt as they’d held hands. He’d hesitated at Rúmil’s request for a moment, unwilling to leave Faramir alone, but the thought crossed his mind that maybe Orophin wanted to give him news about Feanor or Elarin, and maybe it was for the best that they spoke where Faramir couldn’t overhear them.

Rúmil watched his brother leave the room and smiled in Faramir’s direction. “I think you are good for him,” he mused. “He’s never been one to smile much, but he seems…different since he met you.”

Faramir looked up and smiled as Haldir left the room and then looked over to Rúmil and his smile remained in place. "I would think someone with such a beautiful smile would have shown it often," Faramir said softly, slightly surprised by Rúmil's words, but then remembering the tales he heard about Haldir on his way to Lórien and knowing that Haldir himself said he wasn't very friendly toward his wardens.

Adjusting napkins on the table only to have something to do, Rúmil smiled and nodded. “Yes, I would have to agree,” he said after a moment. “I think now, though, he will show it more often.” Hesitating for only a moment, Rúmil took a deep breath and moved toward the couch to sit next to Faramir, though not nearly as close as Haldir had. He’d known at once that his brother wouldn’t keep a ‘slave’ and was honestly surprised to see that Faramir was still here in Lórien. Haldir had surely told him he could leave if he liked…hadn’t he? “I see the way he looks at you, Faramir. I guess, I just…I hope you won’t decide to leave before you see how he ‘can’ be. I’m not sure how much of his…gentler side you’ve seen, but I’m thinking that he’s letting you in, whether he realizes it. I worry about him sometimes, and already, he seems to care for you greatly, whether he’s told you that or not.”

Faramir turned to face Rúmil on the couch and nodded slowly. "He does… say that he cares about me, which when I first arrived here I have to admit I wouldn't have believed it if you'd told me. I was so afraid of him at first… but he quickly made me feel at ease. He… makes me feel as if I'm special, though I know I am not," he said softly.

Rúmil’s brow furrowed, and he tilted his head to one side as he studied Faramir. Surely one so lovely couldn’t truly believe that of himself? “Believe me, if Haldir finds you special, then you are special. Why would you say you’re not?”

"Because I… well… you know what I was brought here as. I am afraid that the impression everyone has of me isn't far from the actual truth," Faramir said softly, not able to meet Rúmil's eyes and see the look of either pity or disgust.

Sighing, Rúmil wondered what kind of life Faramir had led before being brought to Lórien. “You were brought here by Feanor’s misguided attempt to impress Haldir. I think having everyone see you with my brother will soon dispel any ideas they might or might not have about you more quickly than you can think, Faramir. You…you still see yourself that way, though, don’t you?”

"I suppose I do," Faramir said softly. "I… I care a great deal for your brother, but I know he deserves so much better than a… a whore like me," he continued looking down at his hands and toying with the cuff of his tunic.

Rúmil could almost see the sadness emanating from Faramir as he spoke. “Faramir,” he said softly, waiting for the young man to look up at him. “Do you think Haldir sees you that way? As a… whore?”

"I… I don't know. He doesn't act like it at all, not like the others… he's always so, careful with me and… and sweet, and that's how I know he deserves better," Faramir answered, truly believing his own words.

“I see,” Rúmil nodded. “And if I were to ask you into my bedroom, to make love to me…would you? Would you want me that way?”

Faramir startled and looked up at Rúmil for a moment. "You… you are handsome, but… no, I'm afraid not," he said, feeling awkward as his face colored from Rúmil's question.

“Then you are not a whore,” Rúmil said firmly. “And I hope that you will realize that one day. Please, Faramir, try to leave your past behind you. Don’t let it cloud what you could have with my brother, should you decide you want that. I think he’s falling for you already, and it would hurt him to hear you speak that way about yourself.”

Faramir stared at Rúmil as the Elf said he was not a whore and swallowed hard. "You… you really think he… really?" he asked as his heart skipped in his chest and a slow smile spread across his face. "I… honestly I would love nothing more to stay here with him and… share my life with him. But… I'm not so sure he's falling for me… he… he's never even kissed me, well… not properly anyway," he said, blushing. "I think he just sees himself as my guardian, which… I do appreciate because I seem to need one, if recent events are any evidence."

“Trust me,” Rúmil laughed softly. “He feels as if he’s more than your guardian. My guess would be that he senses how you feel about yourself and is trying his best to let you know that’s not how he sees you.” As Faramir’s last words sank in, Rúmil looked away for a moment before letting his eyes meet the blue ones before him. “I…I am sure I already know the answer to his, but…Haldir…he wasn’t the one to put these bruises on you, was he? I can’t see him ever doing such a thing, but…”

Faramir quickly shook his head, "Gods, no… no, Haldir has never raised a hand to me. These… I suppose you'll learn of it soon enough from others but… Elarin… did this. He… he attacked me earlier today when Haldir left to speak with Lord Celeborn. If… if Haldir hadn't returned when he did," Faramir's voice broke, and he looked down at his hands that were trembling from the memory. "Haldir saved me."

Rúmil’s eyes flashed with anger at Elarin, and at that moment, he looked very much like his eldest brother. Knowing what Orophin was saying in the other room to Haldir, Rúmil pasted a smile to his lips and sighed, forcing himself to trust that Haldir had handled the situation. “I think as time passes, you will feel safer. Most likely like one of the family, if Haldir will finally let himself tell you how he feels. I would offer my protection as well, but I think my brother will take care of you, Faramir. Please…try not to worry. Everything will work out, for both of you. I just…please…don’t hurt him. That is all I ask of you. If you think you can truly love him, I wish you all the best. If not, I hope you will tell him that his feelings aren’t returned, so he can stop himself from falling further.”

"But… his feelings are returned if he truly is falling in love with me," Faramir said softly. "I just… I just am not sure he sees me as more than just… his ward or his friend. I wish for more, but… he's so careful with me, and when I want to try and show him how I feel, I end up fearing he'll think I'm only doing it out of gratitude or think I truly am a whore." Faramir sighed heavily and looked up at Rúmil. "Fine mess, isn't it?" He smiled sadly as he looked at Haldir's brother. "I promise you, though, I will never hurt him. I couldn't."

“I do believe you’re sincere,” Rúmil smiled gently. “And take it from his brother, who has had the…shall I say…‘pleasure’ of knowing him for countless centuries. He will always be careful with you, to a degree, but once he knows that you want him, and not from some misguided attempt at thanking him, he will be less guarded with you. I can honestly say I’ve never seen him be so solicitous of anyone in all our years, and if he saw you as only a friend, his eyes wouldn’t follow you every moment as I’ve seen them do. He wants you, and I think it would thrill him if he felt you wanted him back.”

"I do want him back… very much so," Faramir said, feeling his face practically glowing. "I just… am not sure how to show him without him mistaking it for something else. He's… he's always so sweet and does so much for me. Like… the clothing I'm wearing even, and the books, thank you by the way. He told me that you and Orophin helped with those things. I'd thought Haldir had snuck out of bed, and I hadn't noticed, but he admitted that he'd recruited you and Orophin to help. If I had done anything then he'd have thought it was for that, though… I need to catch him when he's not being so generous, I suppose, so there isn't any question," he said with a smile.

Rúmil laughed and rested one hand on Faramir’s shoulder in a gesture of friendship. “Then catch him around his wardens,” he advised. “You’ll find him not so generous, and that will be your chance.” Looking toward the kitchen, he heard his two brothers talking softly and stood. “I should see to dinner. I just wanted a word with you, Faramir. I’m glad we spoke.”

Laughing, Faramir nodded when Rúmil advised him to catch Haldir with his wardens. "I'm glad we spoke, too… thank you," he said softly as Rúmil left to join his brothers in the kitchen. He leaned back against the couch and closed his eyes for a moment. //Could Rúmil really be right that Haldir is falling in love with me? Oh Gods, I hope so.//

Chapter 9

Haldir knew Rúmil would most likely speak with the Faramir, who was nervously sitting on the couch as he talked with Orophin in the kitchen. He had no idea what they would discuss, but only moments after entering the kitchen and pouring a small cup of Elven wine, he found himself already missing Faramir. Turning toward his younger brother with a sigh, he studied him for a moment in silence. “Get it over with, tôr, (brother),” he said softly. “I know you have something to say.”

Orophin knew his brother well enough to know he'd wish to cut to the chase right away. "I do...and I imagine you'll want to throw me out that window other there, but I wish to know just how those bruises got on Faramir? I hope I know you well enough to know you didn't do that to him...but...I am concerned. You can tell me it is none of my business, of course..." Orophin said, taking a drink of his own wine.

His fingers tightened on the cup in his hand, and Haldir’s eyes narrowed. “Of course I didn’t do that to him,” he said levelly. “I would never hurt him. I lo…care too much about him to harm a hair on his head. And though it is none of your business, I will tell you anyway. It was Elarin. He tried to…” His voice trailed off, and his face flushed with anger as he remembered the scene he’d returned home to earlier that day. Realizing he was in danger of crushing the small porcelain cup, he sat it down quickly and looked toward the door, needing to assure himself that Faramir was indeed all right. “He tried to…rape Faramir when I left to meet with Lord Celeborn.”

Orophin's eyes widened slightly when he heard his brother almost say the word love - at least he was almost certain of it. Then as Haldir continued he felt his stomach knot. "He...Elarin? Oh, Gods...we should have never let him come with us that day," he said leaning against the counter heavily. "He...you...did you kill him?" he asked matter-of-factly. He knew he certainly would have if someone had attacked the person he loved.

Haldir knew his brother could see the rage in his eyes as he thought of the Elf that was, even now, being told he would never step foot inside Lórien again, nor would he be sailing to Aman. “No,” he sighed. “I wanted to. But…Faramir asked me not to. He was afraid for me. He put his fear and anger aside and stopped me from killing Elarin, because he feared I would be punished for killing him. I had him taken to the prisoner’s quarters, and honestly, if I hadn’t been reluctant to leave Faramir’s side since it happened, I would have slipped away and killed him later. The only thing holding me back now is that I’m afraid Faramir would be afraid of me if he found out.”

Orophin ran his hand over his face and shook his head. He felt that he wanted to kill Elarin himself. "Gods...he…even after that, Faramir stopped you? Just how on Arda did he manage that...you are hardly the type to just give up on your anger so easily," he asked in wonderment. He couldn't imagine getting Haldir to stay his hand in a situation like that, and Faramir was so...small. Well, he was tall, but he was reed thin and just didn't seem to have the sort of grit or strength he imagined needed to stop Haldir when he would have been so angry.

Haldir’s anger drained away as suddenly as it came, and he smiled ruefully. “He simply…asked me to stop,” he shrugged. “That’s all it took.” Looking down at his feet, Haldir sighed after a moment. “I think I’m in love with him. No…I know I am. I just want to protect him from everything and everyone. He’s agreed to stay in Lórien, but as a free Man. He says he cares for me…but other than that, I’m not sure if he feels only gratitude or…something more.”

For a moment, Orophin realized he was gaping and quickly picked up his cup to take a drink to cover it. "All it took was him asking?" he said, grinning into his cup. "I was about to say that if you didn't know you were in love with him, I was going to point it out to you. No one I know could just stop you with mere words. Not even our parents, at times," he teased, remembering their youth. "If he says he cares for you, I'm sure that he does. He doesn't seem the type to state things falsely. And after all, caring...isn't that far from love."

Chuckling softly at both himself and Orophin, Haldir spared another glance toward the living room, where, no doubt, Rúmil was asking Faramir a million questions. “Oh, I know. I would do anything for him. He’s the only one on the face of all of Arda who could have stopped me from killing Elarin this morning. And I know he cares…but I want more. I want him to love me or at least see me as more than a friend. I mean…have you really looked at him? The way he smiles, the way his eyes light up when he’s happy, the innocence he possesses down to his very core that he swears isn’t there? How could one not love him?”

Orophin smiled as Haldir went on about Faramir's virtues. "I'm half afraid to look too closely, I know how hard you hit," Orophin teased, "But he is lovely, anyone can see that, and...he looks at you as if you hung the moon, Haldir. Maybe you haven't noticed that because you are too caught up in how you feel about him, but he does look at you with more than friendship, I think."

Haldir’s smile widened as his brother spoke, and he felt his heart jump. “You really think so?” he asked, unable to keep the excitement and longing from his voice. “Or are you just trying to make me feel better…you did say that after you said you know how hard I hit…”

Orophin laughed and shook his head, he'd never seen Haldir look so...happy before. "I honestly meant it...he watches you with such adoration, if he doesn't love you in return, I'd be quite shocked, to be honest. Maybe, he just needs time? It can't be easy for him coming here as he did, plus he's been ill...just give him a little time...and yourself. You've fallen rather quickly yourself...you...I know you and he are sharing a bed, but...that is all right?" he asked carefully. He worried that maybe he was pushing for too much information, but he wanted to confirm his thoughts.

If Haldir had been the type of Elf to blush, he would have done so now. He wasn’t, however, and he met his brother’s gaze carefully. “I’ve only held him throughout the night so far,” he said. “And…I never thought I would say this, but sometimes, simply holding him is enough. He fits against me so perfectly, and when he’s ready, if he’s ever ready to share his body with me, then he will know how much I love him, simply from the way I touch him, I think. And he’ll know that I don’t see him as simply my ward…or my friend. I see him as so, so much more already, but I need him to know that before we make love…not after.”

Nodding, Orophin smiled. "Then time is all you need...even if you are feeling a bit impatient at the moment...although...you have considered that even if he is free that as a Man in Lórien he doesn't have the same...rights as Elves. And after what happened with Elarin today...I suggest that you stake your claim, either as his guardian or as his mate, Haldir. Others need to know that he is not a slave. I am sure they will learn soon enough, but you know how rumors are around here. If you made a clear claim on him...a respectful one, unlike the way he was brought here...it would be better for him."

Haldir knew his brother was right. He’d thought about this all afternoon, but had hesitated to bring it up with Faramir, afraid that he wouldn’t want to be seen as his mate, even though Faramir had said they were mates in all but one manner. But until someone made it clear that Faramir was not in Lórien as anyone’s slave, he would be at risk of other incidents like the one with Elarin. Though there weren’t many Elves in Lórien as immoral and cruel as Elarin, Haldir was sure there were a few lurking within the borders of the Golden Wood. “I know, Orophin,” he sighed. “I am only afraid that would make him feel like property. Or that he wouldn’t wish to be tied to me in such a manner. I told him from the first day that he was free to be with anyone he wants. What if it’s not me he wants?”

Orophin sighed and set his cup back on the counter. "I swear you can be thick headed sometimes...just talk to him. Ask him. He's young, but in the world of Men he is an adult. I'm sure he can honestly answer if he wants to be your mate or your ward. Either way it would protect him and...give you both time to find out about the possibility of more. At least give it some thought...I like him and after hearing what Elarin did, I worry for him," Orophin admitted. He was much more like Haldir in mannerisms, so it was saying a lot for him to admit he liked the young Man.

“You are right, again,” Haldir said after thinking over his brother’s words carefully. “I think I at least owe it to him to ask him what he wants.” Crossing the room, he gently elbowed Orophin in the ribs as he headed toward the doorway and back to the living room. “Who’s the older, wiser brother around here anyway? Don’t get any ideas about taking over just because I’ve fallen in love. I can still hit harder…and I’m much, much meaner than you’d even think about being…”

"Ooof," Orophin gasped as Haldir elbowed him. "Hey...now...just trying to be helpful. Besides, who cooked you dinner?" he teased, grabbing the tray of cups as they started to go back into the other room.

Faramir looked up as they entered, and Orophin had to suppress a grin at the way Faramir's eyes lit up when he looked at his brother. //Oh he loves you...I've never seen someone light up like that when they looked at someone else.// He set the tray on the table next to the food. "Hope we didn't keep you waiting too long?"

Faramir shook his head though his eyes were still on Haldir. "Not at all...thank you again for inviting me."

Haldir crossed the room to stand before Faramir, smiling broadly. Offering his hand, he helped the young man to his feet and tangled their fingers together. As sparkling blue eyes gazed back at him, his heart felt lighter than it had all day, and he vowed to speak to Faramir as soon as they returned home…to at least let him choose if he wanted to be known as Haldir’s mate or not. Orophin’s words made him feel hopeful, and before he even knew what he was doing, he brought Faramir’s hand to his lips for a soft kiss as they sat down at the dining table. “Don’t worry,” he said in a stage whisper, “I think Rúmil cooked tonight instead of Orophin. We’re most likely safe.”

Faramir found himself smiling at Haldir as he stood before him and offered his hand. He took it and stood, feeling his heart skip as Haldir tangled their fingers and led him toward the table. When they sat down and Haldir kissed his hand in front of his brothers like that, he felt his face color, and he smiled happily. "I'm always safe with you," he whispered.

Rúmil passed a plate of rolls across the table to Orophin and grinned, and as his brother took the plate he saw the answering grin flash for a moment. "We both cooked," Orophin corrected as he set the plate down in front of their guests.

Haldir would have snorted at the very least if he’d heard his brother, but Faramir’s words had thoroughly undone him. “Yes, you are safe with me,” he said softly, completely forgetting about their audience. “I’m glad you know that, dear one.” He sat silently for several moments, simply staring into the blue eyes before him before he heard Orophin loudly clearing his throat. “Sorry,” he murmured, forcing himself to look away, though he didn’t release Faramir’s hand under the table. //I think it’s time to try eating with my left hand anyway.//

Faramir had felt completely lost in Haldir's eyes and for the tiniest moment felt as if he might kiss him despite their audience, but the moment was shattered when Haldir finally looked away. He was incredibly happy that Haldir hadn't released his hand. The two of them spent most of their meal eating with just one hand as their others remained tangled together just under the tablecloth. Faramir tried to think of when and how he could tell Haldir how he truly felt, and he longed for when he could show him. He enjoyed their meal though, talking and laughing with Haldir's brothers. Faramir realized he felt completely relaxed with Haldir's family. The teasing between the three of them made him miss Boromir a bit, but he hoped to write to him again soon, assuring him again that he was truly happy here in his new home.

Chapter 10

It was already dark when they entered their talan after leaving Rúmil and Orophin’s, but Haldir was determined to broach the subject of Faramir’s protection with him before they slept. He kept remembering Orophin’s words and the way Faramir had gazed into his eyes over dinner, though he’d also prepared himself just in case Faramir decided he wanted to be seen as someone else’s mate…or leave Lórien all together. It was a very big step for Haldir, but for Faramir as well. If he were to be seen as Haldir’s mate, then all the Lórien Elves would be friendly with him, but no one would dare flirt or ask to court him. If Faramir wanted someone else, Haldir was prepared to offer that he simply could be seen as Faramir’s guardian, instead of mate, and he would have his choice of who to be with should he find himself attracted to another Elf. He hoped with all his heart, however, that Orophin was right, and that he was the one Faramir wanted.

Keeping a firm grip on his companion’s hand, Haldir led him over to the couch and lit a candle instead of heading toward the bedroom. “I know it’s late,” he said softly, as he gently urged Faramir to sit beside him. “I was hoping we could talk for a moment before we retired, though.”

The evening had been one of the most enjoyable Faramir could ever remember. Haldir's brothers had made him laugh and made him feel a part of their family, and Haldir had been so perfect. They had stared into one another's eyes, even fed one another a time or two, and at times it felt as if they were the only two people there. As Haldir lit a candle and led him toward the couch, Faramir quirked his eyebrow and sat down. "Is...is something wrong?" he asked, suddenly worried that he had said or done something wrong at dinner.

“No, nothing’s wrong,” Haldir assured Faramir. “In fact, everything has been so perfect since I met you…with a few exceptions, of course, none of which were your fault, that I wanted to ask you something. Before I do, however, you need to know that you are completely free to say no or think for as long as you need to before answering me, because your answer will directly affect us both.”

Faramir stared at Haldir and then nodded. "All right...but...you are worrying me a bit," he admitted softly. He couldn't imagine what Haldir wanted to discuss, and he felt himself grow a bit nervous despite Haldir saying nothing was wrong.

Haldir took a deep breath and reached up to gently twirl a lock of Faramir’s hair around his finger before he even realized what he was doing. The fingers of his other hand were still tangled with his companion’s, and he squeezed them lightly before telling himself that it was now or never. “You see, dear one, in Lórien, Men really have no rights at all. Our laws are very different from yours, which is why El…that Elf whose name I cannot bear to speak any more…thought he had the right to touch you. For you to be safe, and for us both to be assured that no one would dare touch you, you need to be seen as someone’s ward. Or…or mate.”

Feeling his heart skip as Haldir's finger gently toyed with his hair, Faramir felt a soft smile play on his lips. As Haldir spoke about the laws of Lórien he nodded, suspecting something like that. "You are meaning officially, aren't you?" he asked, feeling his heart pounding in his chest as he waited for Haldir to go on.

“Yes,” Haldir said softly. “So I was wondering…I know we’ve already talked about being seen together, and I still want that. But if you would possibly consider…well, I mean, if you’d want that, if you would like to …you know…but if there’s someone else that you’d rather…” His words trailed off, and he felt his face color in a blush that was very, very seldom seen on his face. “Oh, by the Valar, this is ridiculous! Faramir, would you consider officially being my…mate? Or…if you prefer, you can always be my ward. Or…Gods. When I mess something up, I really mess it up, don’t I? It all sounded much better in my head.”

Faramir tried to follow Haldir's words, and after a moment he found that he had to bite his lip to keep from giggling at how incredibly sweet Haldir was when he was flustered. Then as the words dawned on him he startled a bit. //He wished for me to be his mate? Officially?// Raising both his hands to hold Haldir's face between them he looked into sparkling and worried eyes. "You haven't messed anything up," he whispered. "Yes. I would be honored to be your mate...officially, Haldir. You...Gods, you have no idea how much I would love that...but...you are certain? This...this can't be an easy decision for you, we've known one another such a short time, and I know you wish to protect me but...please, tell me this isn't just about protecting me?"

Releasing a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, Haldir felt himself relax almost as soon as Faramir’s hand cupped his face so tenderly. “No,” he whispered. “It isn’t about just protecting you, dear one. It’s about…wanting everyone to know that I…love you. Most importantly, it’s about wanting you to know that I love you.”

When Haldir said the words I love you, Faramir felt his heart stumble in his chest and without thinking, he crawled into Haldir's lap. "Say that again," he whispered when Haldir looked at him oddly, he smiled. "Say you love me again," he repeated as he stared into Haldir's eyes.

This time it was Haldir who took Faramir’s face between his hands, even as his throat was suddenly dry and his stomach felt as if a million butterflies had been set free inside. But the reassuring weight of the man he loved settled firmly on his lap gave him the courage to continue, and he took another deep breath before he could manage to speak again. “I love you,” he whispered. “I think I fell in love with you when you first looked at me…or the first night when you snuggled close against me in our bed.”

Faramir smiled happily as Haldir spoke, and before he could stop himself, he pressed his lips to Haldir's gently at first, loving the way their lips felt against one another's. Drawing back and looking into Haldir's eyes, he couldn't seem to stop smiling. "I love you, too," he whispered. "I'm not quite sure when it started, but I knew at dinner the other night that I love you..." Before he could say anything else he pressed his lips to Haldir's again.

Haldir felt something warm and wonderful open up inside him as Faramir spoke. He wasn’t sure how it had happened, and he hoped with every fiber of his being that what Faramir felt wasn’t gratitude. The way the soft, perfect lips fit over his own, however, made him believe the words were true, and he completely gave himself over to the kiss. His hands moved down to wrap around Faramir’s waist and pull him closer as his lips parted, and he granted the man he loved access, deepening the kiss and feeling as if his heart were ready to fly from his chest. //He loves me? I don’t know how or why, but I swear I will thank the Valar every single day for as long as I draw breath for bringing him into my life and letting him see his way clear to love me.//

Faramir sank into Haldir's arms, so incredibly happy that finally they were sharing a real kiss, the way Faramir had wanted the night before. When Haldir's lips parted he was slightly surprised, he'd assumed that Haldir would wish to control their kiss and found his heart touched by the simple act of allowing him to control it for the moment. His tongue tentatively licked at Haldir's lips and then slowly slipped beyond smooth teeth to taste and explore his love's mouth. Haldir tasted sweeter than he could have ever dreamed, and he barely realized he had his arms and legs wrapped around Haldir's body. It felt warm and perfect being in his arms like this, tasting the Elf’s lips against his own and knowing that Haldir wanted him. Not the way others had wanted him in the past, but truly loving and caring for him.

Haldir’s hands moved over Faramir’s back, as if memorizing the way they fit together, just in case they never shared this again. But the softly whispered words ‘I love you’ still rang in his ears, and he sighed into the kiss, tilting his head back and letting his tongue slide alongside Faramir’s, truly wishing neither of them would have need to breathe anytime soon, because he didn’t want this, their first kiss, to ever end. Faramir tasted delicious, as Haldir knew he would, and he wondered how on all of Arda he’d been around this incredible man for over a week without sharing these kisses before tonight.

After long moments, Faramir finally had to draw away for a breath. Resting his forehead against Haldir's he dragged in a ragged breath and smiled as his fingers wove through Haldir's soft hair. "What...how do we? Umm...having a difficult time thinking after kissing you like that." He laughed softly. Finally getting his wits about him again, Faramir leaned back to look into Haldir's eyes. "How does one go about officially being someone's mate in Lórien?" he asked curiously, though he was already wishing to forego the answer in favor of kissing Haldir again.

Haldir laughed as Faramir said he was having a difficult time thinking…and knew exactly how he felt after the most perfect kiss of his life. Maneuvering them both so that Haldir was laying on his back and Faramir was laying on top of him, he locked his hands around his lover and sighed happily. “Well, we could simply tell everyone, or I could just go around calling you ‘meleth’ all day, or...we could really make it official and let Lord Celeborn conduct a ceremony.”

When Haldir lay back on the couch, Faramir rested his head against his chest, listening to his heart beating rapidly as his own. "Telling everyone seems an awful lot of work, though I don't mind being called 'meleth'," he said with a grin. "What sort of ceremony?" he asked curiously. If someone asked him a few weeks ago in Gondor if he thought he would be in love and planning on telling everyone around that he was going to be someone as wonderful as Haldir's mate, he would have thought them mad.

Pressing a kiss to Faramir’s temple, Haldir closed his eyes and simply enjoyed holding the man he loved. “It’s all rather formal,” he explained. “Dress robes, witnesses, music, dancing, more food than you can imagine. All we have to do is show up, exchange vows before the Valar, then relax and enjoy the first day of the rest of our lives together as one heart and one faer…or, rather, as Men know it, one soul.”

Faramir listened happily as Haldir explained and smiled as he drew back to look at him. "And you'd want that? I mean...obviously you want us to be mates since you asked, but...I mean, the ceremony? You'd want that?" he asked curiously. He didn't want Haldir to feel obligated to something so formal like that if he would prefer just telling people and that be it.

Haldir nodded at once. “I’d want that,” he said softly. “I never dreamed I would even consider it, but I would love to share that with you. Though I think all of Lórien will be surprised to see that I do, indeed, have a heart, I want them to know without the slightest doubt that it belongs to you and only you. Do…you want a ceremony as well, or would you rather we simply tell everyone?”

Faramir smiled and nodded. "I do want a ceremony, I just wanted to make sure that you did," he whispered. "I imagine your brothers will be surprised...oh Gods, I need to write to Boromir," he said with his eyes wide. "He will be shocked to say the least." Leaning back down, Faramir kissed Haldir tenderly, nipping his lower lip gently before he drew away again. "You've made me incredibly happy...the happiest I've been in years, in fact."

“I intend to make you happy forever,” Haldir whispered, licking his lip where Faramir’s teeth had gently grazed over it. “I was so afraid that you’d want to simply be my ward, and leave it at that.” Burying his face against Faramir’s neck, Haldir took a deep breath and smiled. “Gods, Faramir, I love you so much. And when you write your brother, I hope you will tell him that he needn’t worry about you ever again. I was going to suggest we meet him somewhere – either here or Minas Tirith, or somewhere between, so he knows that you truly are safe. Though, now that we’ve planned a ceremony, you could invite him to attend.”

Faramir smiled as Haldir said that he intended to make him happy forever. He didn't have a single doubt that he would. "I think that my father might have a problem with us inviting him, so we'd have to ask him secretly and then...I'm not sure how he would work out a way to come here without father finding out. Maybe...maybe I can write to him again and ask him to meet with us later? I just...I fear that if my father finds out, he'll find some way to stop us or at the least ruin it," he said softly after thinking for a few moments.

Nuzzling against Faramir’s neck, Haldir nodded and closed his eyes, breathing in the scent of the man he loved. “He won’t stop us,” he promised, “but you’re right – it might make things difficult for Boromir. We can meet with him anytime you like, though…I know you miss him already, and I have no doubt that he’s worried about you. Besides…I don’t think I want to wait, meleth. It would be weeks before he got the message and made his way here, and I want to marry you as soon as you’re ready.”

"I'm ready now, so I guess as soon as we can arrange it?" Faramir asked, smiling happily. It seemed awfully soon, he supposed, he had only known Haldir a week, but he was certain of how he felt. No one had ever made him feel this way, and he knew that how he felt about Haldir would never change...well, perhaps it would, but only by growing stronger. "You don't think it is too soon, do you? I...I know how I feel and that my feelings won't change if we made things official tomorrow or a year from now, but...you are sure? I...I know I'm not exactly a, well...I'm not really worthy of being your mate seeing that I'm a Man, and I came here as...even less than that. I know you love me and care about me...but...I just want you to be absolutely sure."

Haldir rolled over on the couch until they were lying side by side. “Faramir,” he said softly, letting one hand rest on his lover’s cheek as his thumb trailed lightly over his full bottom lip, “you came here by the grace of the Valar to be the love of my life. No matter how your journey started, this is how it ends…with you and I, together, in love and happy beyond our wildest dreams. I am sure of my love for you, pen velui, but in my heart I know that it is I who am not worthy of you. So it is you who must be sure…sure that this is what you want, sure that you aren’t mistaking love for gratitude or trying to repay me for doing…or not doing…what you expected when you were brought to Lórien.”

Faramir shook his head as Haldir spoke. "I am sure of how I feel about you. There were times, the first few days that I thought I should offer myself to you, that I should 'thank you' in the only way I knew how, but you didn't want that. I have to say a part of me felt...rejected at first. Here you were the first person I'd been 'given' to that I really wanted to be with that way, and you didn't want me!" he said, laughing softly. "Then...tonight when I spoke to Rúmil, I realized that you might care for me, might love me as much as I love you, and you did want me...but didn't want me to assume why you did. You wanted me to choose someone myself, someone I wanted and not who I felt obligated to choose...and I have."

Letting his fingers card though Faramir’s hair, Haldir pressed his lips against his love’s in a soft kiss before pulling away. “I wanted you from the moment I laid eyes on you,” he confessed. “You’re right…I wanted you to choose. And, Gods, I cannot tell you how happy I am that you’ve chosen me.” Pulling Faramir close against him, Haldir held him tightly and closed his eyes. “I love you, dear one…so, so very much.”

Smiling as Haldir pulled him closer, Faramir snuggled against him. "And I love you," Faramir whispered in return. He leaned up and pressed a soft kiss against Haldir's lips and smiled. "You have no idea how much my life has changed for the better since I came here. I know you find it hard to believe what I was forced to do before...but I hope that you understand that what I had to do was never who I was...I...I didn't even realize that until tonight myself. Rúmil...made me see that," he said softly.

“Oh, love,” Haldir whispered, “I have never, ever thought that was who you were. I hope you know that. The first time I laid eyes on you, I thought of you as the most beautiful, breathtaking Man I had ever laid eyes on…and since then I have come to know the goodness that lies in your heart, despite everything you’ve been though in your short life. Despite what you might think, meleth, you have an innocence about you that makes me love you all the more.”

Faramir frowned when Haldir said he had an innocence about him. He'd said that before to him, and it always puzzled him He wished he were innocent. He wished that he could give Haldir the one thing that had been taken from him by his own father's orders. He swallowed hard at the thought and shook his head. "I still am not quite sure I understand what you mean, but I'll take your word for it." He grinned and leaned his head against Haldir's shoulder. "I suppose we both see things in one another that we don't really see in ourselves. I know you don't see yourself as kind and generous, but you are."

Haldir laughed softly and shook his head. “No, I don’t see that in me at all,” he agreed. “I just see myself as trying to make the Man who has stolen my heart happy…that’s all.” Pressing his finger to Faramir’s lips before he could speak, Haldir sat up and pulled his lover into his lap. “Do you think my soon-to-be-husband would allow me to carry him to bed and kiss him a few thousand more times before he fell asleep, or do you think I’m pushing too far?”

When Haldir pressed his finger to his lips, Faramir smiled and wrapped his arms around Haldir's neck as he pulled him into his lap. "I don't think you would be pushing too far at all...I love your kisses." Faramir held tight to Haldir, and he kissed his cheek tenderly. "I can't believe you asked me this tonight...Gods, I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep, to be honest."

Gathering Faramir close, Haldir nibbled lightly at his neck as he stood up and headed toward their bedroom. “I’m not sure I can, either.” He laughed. “But if we find ourselves unable to close our eyes, at least we can get up early and speak to Lord Celeborn. Though…I must confess, I don’t think he’ll be surprised. I already told him I was in love with you. And I might have mentioned it to Lady Galadriel as well.” Gently laying Faramir back on their bed, he felt another rare blush color his face and neck. “And the guard outside their talan. And…well, maybe a few other Elves as well…”

Loving how powerful his future husband was, Faramir simply wrapped both his arms and legs around him and snuggled against Haldir as he carried him to their bed. Drawing back to look into Haldir's eyes, Faramir laughed with his shock. "You told...told people? I...really?" he asked, laughing softly. "You amaze me, love." He watched his love as he lay down next to him, and Faramir reached out to trail his fingers over Haldir's cheek. "You really do amaze me with your strength, your beauty, your grace, and your heart."

Haldir smiled and simply enjoyed looking at the man he loved, marveling at each smile that touched his lips and each sparkle in his eyes that shone even in the dim moonlight. “I just couldn’t keep it to myself,” he said softly. “You amaze me as well, meleth. Every single thing about you.” Pressing his lips to his lover’s once again, they shared another deep kiss, and Haldir pulled Faramir on top of him. He wanted Faramir in every way, but could still sense a single thread of nervousness somewhere deep inside him. Faramir would decide where, if anywhere, their kisses led, and Haldir realized that if all they could share on this night was more of these sweet, perfect kisses; he was more than happy with that.

Faramir felt completely lost in Haldir's kiss and before he could even think, his love had pulled him to lie atop him. He found himself unable to stop kissing Haldir, and after long moments he drew away only to nuzzle against Haldir's neck. He was happier than he ever remembered being, and his heart was pounding heavily in his chest. He wanted Haldir to take him, to show him exactly how he felt about him, but part of him wished to hold back. Wished to wait until they truly were bound, if only to have their first time together be absolutely pure. That was a regret he did have, that he couldn't give his future husband the gift of his virginity, but maybe it would mean more after they were bound. But what if Haldir didn't wish to wait? He could never deny him anything. Nervously, his fingers trailed over the lacing of Haldir's tunic as he gazed into sparkling blue eyes.

Haldir smiled up at his lover as he licked his lips, which were already red and swollen from their kisses. He could feel Faramir’s length pressed against his hip, and his own strained against the fabric of his breeches. The doubt in the blue eyes above him, however, kept him perfectly still, resisting the urge to shift his hips against the Man he loved. “What are you thinking?” he whispered.

"It's silly," Faramir said after a moment of awkward silence. He wasn't sure if Haldir would laugh at him or simply smile and think him very naive.

“No, it isn’t,” Haldir said softly. “Please…tell me. I can feel you holding back, and there’s no need. I swear I won’t think it’s silly.” His hands clasped behind Faramir’s back, and he looked encouragingly up at him. “Please?”

Faramir smiled and took a deep breath as Haldir coaxed him to tell him what he'd been thinking about. "I...I just don't know how to say it. I...I love you, and I want you...Gods, I want you very much...but," his words trailed off as he tried to think of how to explain himself. "But...I...would you be horribly disappointed if we waited...to...to um, well...be intimate until after the ceremony? I know it seems really silly after the life I've led before coming here, but...it is the only thing pure I can hold onto. I can't give you my virginity as I would like, and...I...oh, it is silly. I shouldn't have said anything." Faramir's words had run together as he'd spoken quickly, and his face was bright red as he buried it against Haldir's neck, feeling foolish.

Haldir’s eyes filled with tears at Faramir’s words, and he tightened his embrace. “It isn’t silly at all,” he said softly between kisses against the warm skin of his lover’s neck. “It’s romantic and beautiful, and I think it’s a lovely idea. I want you, meleth, like I’ve never wanted anyone before in my life. But just knowing that the first time we make love, it will be as a married couple, makes it all the more special. Though please know that I think you are the most pure, innocent, and perfect being to ever walk the face of Arda just as you are this moment.”

Faramir closed his eyes and snuggled closer to Haldir as he said that he thought it was a lovely idea. "I don't know how you can know about my past and say such things...but I love you all the more for it," he whispered softly. In truth he did want Haldir very much at the moment, and he could feel that Haldir wanted him. Their arousals had been trapped between them this whole time. But it just seemed important to him to wait. Maybe...maybe even to prove to himself that just like Rúmil said, he wasn't a whore. "Plus, this gives us even more reason to make sure we wed quickly," he said teasingly as he drew back to look into Haldir's eyes, surprised at seeing tears there.

Haldir leaned up and nibbled at Faramir’s bottom lip as he laughed. “Have I mentioned that you have the best ideas of anyone I’ve ever known?” Slowly rolling them back over until they were laying side by side once again, he let his hands move underneath his lover’s tunic. “Gods, I can’t wait to marry you and kiss you from head to toe and back again. For tonight, however, how about if we remove these pesky tunics so I can feel your skin against mine?”

Faramir laughed and arched into Haldir's touch, unable to help himself. The feeling of his love's strong hands moving against his skin like that was more than they'd ever done, and he loved the way it felt. "Yes...I think you have some of the best ideas, too," he teased. His fingers moved against the laces of Haldir's tunic, and he realized his hands were shaking slightly. He was already having second thoughts about his idea of waiting, but he knew it would be better for him if he did.

Haldir’s fingers were shaking as well, but he finally managed to unlace his lover’s tunic and push it back from his shoulders even as his own was removed and thrown to the floor. He knew that if their breeches were removed as well, there would be no way they could hold back, so he simply slid down in the bed and pulled Faramir against him. Already, their hearts seemed to beat as one, and he lost himself in the feeling of having the man he loved so close. “Tell me more about the things that make you happy,” he said softly, trying to get both their minds off the desire that was apparent between them. “And tell me how you want our bonding ceremony to be.”

Faramir's hands roamed greedily over Haldir's chest for the first time, allowing himself to touch the Elf he so desired. He felt as if he were torturing himself, though, and after a few moments his hands stalled, and he giggled as Haldir slid down in the bed and pulled him close. "What makes me happy? I suppose you mean besides you?" he teased. So he began to tell Haldir about the things he loved and enjoyed, and they discussed how the ceremony would be. He wished to keep it simple, and since he really knew no one except Haldir and his brothers, he hoped to keep it limited to just them if they could.

True to their words, neither Man nor Elf slept that night, and when the first rays of sunlight streamed through the window above their bed, they were still whispering and making plans between countless, perfect kisses. Neither of them felt sleep-deprived, however, and as they slipped quietly from their talan to speak with Lord Celeborn, most of Lórien was still asleep. Haldir and Faramir, however, didn’t even notice.

Chapter 11

Lord Celeborn agreed to preside over the bonding ceremony two days after Haldir had asked and Faramir had accepted. The two days leading up to the ceremony were filled with taking care of last-minute details. Telling Haldir's brothers, who had been thrilled beyond words, and Faramir had written a long letter to Boromir and asked to meet with him sometime in the near future halfway between Gondor and Lórien.

By the time the day of the ceremony arrived, all of Lórien had gotten word of it and even though they planned a quiet, simple ceremony with only Haldir's brothers as witness, they had a large audience as they walked to Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel's talan. The crowd had only grown as they returned home hand in hand, though neither of them noticed. They were wrapped up in their own world, it seemed, only seeing one another. //I'm truly married now. Haldir is mine, and I'm his, and he loves me. Gods, he is so perfect, I could not have even dreamed him.// Faramir squeezed his husband's hand gently as they began to walk up the steps toward their talan. Something else about the last two days was the fact that they had kissed and touched and caressed one another to the point they thought they would each burst, and now...there was nothing to hold them back at all. Faramir didn't think himself a whore for a change, even when his mind slipped to thoughts of how much he wanted his husband to take him, to claim him as his forever.

Haldir barely noticed the round of applause surround them as they left Celeborn’s talan, though if he had, he wouldn’t have even considered hiding his happiness, even before his wardens. Today, he didn’t care what anyone thought of him except his new husband, and as they finally made their way inside the front door of their talan, he surprised Faramir by carrying him across the threshold. Heading straight to their bedroom, he gently laid his lover back on the bed, kissing him until they were both breathless and aching. He’d imagined this night in his dreams so often over the past days that his hands seemed to move of their own accord as they slowly unlaced his husband’s tunic. There was one more thing he wanted to prove to his husband, and it was that they were equals in every manner of the word. He wasn’t sure how Faramir had imagined this night, but Haldir was determined to put Faramir’s pleasure above all else every moment of their lives, but especially on this, their wedding night. “Let me show you how I feel,” he whispered softly as he nibbled on his lover’s neck. “Will you do that, meleth?”

When they reached the door of their talan, Faramir yelped in shock as Haldir swept him up into his arms to carry him through the door, and he found himself laughing happily from the romantic gesture. Soon his laughter turned to desire as his husband laid him back on the bed and began kissing him until he could barely breathe. When Haldir began to remove his tunic and spoke, Faramir nodded. "Gods, yes. I'm yours completely, Haldir," he whispered breathlessly. He'd dreamed of Haldir taking him so many times the last few days, and now he found himself eagerly tugging at the laces of Haldir's tunic hardly able to wait to feel his husband's body against his. His entire body naked against his own.

Long, almost torturous moments later, both their tunics were discarded to the floor, and Haldir was sucking on the smooth skin of Faramir’s neck, marking him gently as his hands moved down to ghost over already peaked nipples. He kissed a slow, wet trail over his lover’s neck and chest, stopping only when his thumb was running lightly over Faramir’s left nipple as his lips fastened onto the right, sucking and licking as his entire body shivered with desire. His free hand moved down to unlace his lover’s breeches, and finally, his fingers found the thick organ that curved proudly up and rested against Faramir’s stomach.

Writhing under Haldir's touch, Faramir's soft moans filled the room. His own hands roamed over Haldir's back and shoulders and into soft golden hair. When his lover's lips teased him, he gasped and then cried out softly when strong fingers wrapped around his aching flesh. In all the times he'd been forced to give his body to another, he'd never had them pleasure him this way with soft touches and gentle kisses that turned his blood to fire. "Oh Gods...please, Haldir," he pleaded, moving his body wantonly under his lover.

Haldir thought he’d never heard anything as erotic as Faramir’s soft pleas for more. With one final kiss to the small, pebbled flesh in his mouth, he moved to kiss his lover again as he continued stroking the length in his hand. When they had to pull away for air, he smiled down at Faramir and nipped lightly at his bottom lip. “We’re just getting started, my lovely, perfect husband.” With that, he moved down on the bed and made quick work of Faramir’s boots and leggings, feeling his mouth water as he looked at smooth skin, broken only be the soft nest of hair around the root of his arousal and across his chest that Haldir was already longing to bury his face in. Telling himself to concentrate on one thing at a time, he settled between Faramir’s legs and looked up at him with lust-darkened eyes.

Faramir smiled though he was breathing heavily as Haldir told him that they were just getting started. He realized he wasn't a terribly patient person in that moment and was very grateful when Haldir moved to take off the rest of his clothes. Faramir spread his legs automatically as he watched Haldir and a part of him wondered if he should turn over. He'd never been taken before facing someone, and for all the times he'd been forced to have sex with others, he suddenly felt extremely inexperienced. "Don't...don't you wish for me to turn over?" he finally managed the courage to ask as he stared up at his lover.

Haldir’s hand moved back down to stroke his lover’s arousal as he shook his head. “Turn over?” he repeated. “I…why would I…” Suddenly, it dawned on him what Faramir was asking, and he smiled sadly. “Oh. No, love, I don’t want you to turn over. Just lie back and trust me. When we make love, I want to see your beautiful eyes. For now, though, I want to taste you.” Without waiting for a response, he leaned forward and placed a feather-light kiss just below his lover’s navel. Settling down on his stomach, he let the flat of his tongue run over Faramir’s length and then he licked lightly at the heavy sac that hung below. “Is that alright?”

Faramir stared at his husband and found himself surprised by Haldir's words. He'd never been taken while he faced his partner, and he suddenly realized how very little he knew about sex, despite everything. He did trust Haldir implicitly, so he simply nodded. Jumping a bit from the soft kiss against his abdomen, his muscles seemed to tighten in anticipation of something, and when Haldir shifted lower and his tongue moved against Faramir's arousal, a low moan was drawn from him. No one had ever done this to him, he'd been forced to do it a time or two, but that was entirely different than this. "Gods, yes...whatever you want, love. I'm yours now."

Telling himself to take this slowly, Haldir took a deep breath and carefully mouthed each of his lover’s balls; sucking gently as his hands moved over each long, perfect leg. As Faramir moved beneath him, he slowly pulled away and lifted his head to run his tongue over the weeping length that sprang from the soft curls between his husband’s legs. The thick arousal twitched between his lips, and he slowly lowered his mouth over the organ until he felt the swollen head touching the back of his throat. He could taste Faramir’s essence on the back of his tongue and moaned, not completely sure he could keep from coming undone from this alone.

Faramir had never experienced anything like what Haldir was doing to him, his heart was beating rapidly, and his body moved of its own accord under his lover. He shivered from sheer need as strong hands moved over his legs and back up, and he cried out when the warm wet heat of Haldir's mouth surrounded his arousal. It was all he could do to keep his hips still, and his hand slid into Haldir's hair as his husband's mouth began to pleasure him in ways he'd never even let himself imagine. "Haldir...Gods, love," he babbled, unable to guess himself at what he wished to say. As Haldir swallowed around him and the muscles of his throat constricted around Faramir's aching length, he fought to keep his hips from moving, but it was a losing battle.

Haldir pulled away and looked up at his lover, letting his hand take the place of his mouth for a moment. “Let go, gûren, move if you need to…take my mouth. I want you to…please.” Slowly, he lowered his lips over the thick length again and moved his head up and down, relishing each moan he heard fall from beloved lips.

Faramir gasped as Haldir pulled away, and he stared into his lover's eyes for a moment as he spoke. His blood seemed to race though his veins, and he shivered at the idea of what Haldir was offering. When the warm wet cavern of his lover's mouth sealed around him once again, Faramir let himself move, thrusting slowly up into the wonderful slick heat. One hand tangled in the covers as the other moved reflexively against Haldir's scalp, and he moaned low in his throat as he felt himself nearing the edge. He almost told his lover to stop because he was so close, and then he remembered Haldir saying that he wanted to taste him. Shuddering from the overwhelming feelings racing through him, he thrust up into the welcoming heat and cried out as his release slammed into him.

Swallowing everything his lover had to offer, Haldir closed his eyes and fought the urge to shift his hips against the blanket beneath him. The sounds from his husband’s lips made him think that he definitely wanted to do this again, and often. As the spent organ began to soften in his mouth, he carefully licked it clean, laving his tongue over oversensitized skin as Faramir panted for air. When he finally pulled away, he spread his lover’s legs and let his tongue run lightly over the small opening at the cleft of Faramir’s backside as his hand came up to gently tease the spent organ back to hardness.

Nothing had ever felt so incredible in his life, Faramir thought as he tried to regain his breath and Haldir continued to lick him. Each brush of his lover's tongue against his spent arousal sent another hard shiver through him until Haldir finally drew away. Dragging in a deep breath he watched his lover from beneath half-lidded eyes, feeling relaxed and curious as to what his lover would want next. He was still surprised that Haldir hadn't simply taken what was his right as a husband, and he felt touched just by that. Spreading his legs wider though, fully expecting Haldir to take him now, he jumped and cried out when a warm wet tongue delved between his legs, licking and teasing him. His entire body jerked as the wet organ pushed against his entrance, and a gentle hand began to stroke his spent arousal, which was amazingly starting to twitch.

Haldir pressed his tongue forward, gently breeching his husband’s body as his fingers continued to work the organ in his hand. As the tip of his tongue slid inside, he felt Faramir jump, and the Man’s arousal began to harden again at once. Haldir retreated; he licked the small pucker again before pressing forward, slightly deeper this time. His own arousal was leaking against the blanket, but he was loathe to move just yet and give up this wonderful feeling of simply letting Faramir feel loved in every way possible.

What Haldir was doing was almost overwhelming to Faramir. No one had ever touched him this way, had ever made him *feel* like this, had ever cared about his pleasure and certainly never done anything so incredibly intimate before. All of it made him love Haldir even more, if that were possible. Unconsciously he spread his legs wider in invitation and whimpered as the slick organ retreated only to surge forward within him again. His hips shifted slightly as he writhed under the gentle onslaught. "Gods, love," he murmured softly. He wanted Haldir to take him, but he also didn't wish for him to stop what he was doing. Faramir felt nearly guilty for the thought; here he had hardly touched Haldir in return.

Still moving slowly and steadily, Haldir continued pressing his tongue forward into the tight passage, and, just as he hoped, Faramir was soon hard in his hand once more. “Close your eyes and just feel, meleth,” he whispered before pressing his tongue in as far as it would go and feeling the tiny guardian muscle clenching around him.

Faramir's breathing was labored as he moved slightly under Haldir. He was amazed that his spent arousal was now almost as hard as it was when they'd first began kissing, and when Haldir asked him to close his eyes, he did so, trusting his lover completely. It seemed to make what was happening even more erotic with his eyes closed, and he simply lost himself in feeling.

Haldir looked up as he continued his ministrations, and as soon as Faramir closed his eyes, he reached over to the nightstand beside the bed and closed his fingers on a small jar of salve. His tongue never missed a beat, however, and as he flipped the lid off and slicked his fingers, he continued pressing it deeply but gently, inside the tight passage, knowing they had a lifetime together, but wanting this, their first night as a wedded couple, to be something Faramir would always remember. Twisting his arm behind him, he slid two fingers deep inside his own opening, knowing his husband would be aching for release in moments.

With his eyes closed, everything felt even more incredible and Faramir found himself writhing and moaning beneath Haldir. No one had ever cared about his pleasure like this; no one had ever touched him in the manner that Haldir was. Each press of his lover's tongue into him sent off ripples of fire through his blood, and his hands knotted in the sheets as his legs spread even further. He had never known desire like this and realized his worries about not being able to give Haldir his virginity seemed foolish now. His eyes remained closed even as he felt his lover shifting between his legs, though a part of him wished to watch Haldir, another part was enjoying just feeling everything his lover did to him. It seemed to heighten his desire even more, if that were at all possible.

After a few more swipes of his tongue, Haldir pulled his fingers from his own entrance and slicked them once again. He replaced his tongue with his fingers deep inside his lover and curled them, touching the tiny bundle of nerves within. “Come for me again, meleth,” he whispered as his mouth returned to Faramir’s arousal, and his lips slid down until his nose was buried in soft curls.

Faramir moaned regretfully when the slick muscle driving him so close to the edge withdrew but then within moments slick fingers slid deep inside him and brushed against his sweet spot, making his entire body arch off the bed. As Haldir whispered to him, Faramir trembled and then a slick mouth closed around his shaft sending him spiraling over the edge. He screamed his husband's name as his release slammed into him again and spilled within the hot cavern. His entire body was covered in a thin sheen of sweat, and he was trembling as he continued to moan his lover's name over and over again along with soft endearments.

Swallowing his lover’s release for the second time, Haldir pressed soft kisses to each inner thigh before making his way back up to the full, murmuring lips that he loved so much. Wrapping his arms around Faramir, Haldir pulled him close, kissing him as his body trembled in the aftermath of his orgasm. “I love you, my husband,” he whispered softly.

When Haldir moved up his body and kissed his lips so tenderly Faramir smiled . His arms wrapped around his lover, and he held him tight as his body continued to tremble. "I love you, too," he whispered in return as he pressed soft breathless kisses against perfect lips. He realized then that his lover hadn't found his own release, and he drew back and opened his eyes to look into Haldir's. "What can I do? Tell me what you want, please...I want to show you as much pleasure as you've shown me, love," he whispered softly.

“Well,” Haldir murmured, shifting his hips and pressing his arousal against Faramir’s hip. Slowly, his hand moved down to gently cup the softening organ between his lover’s legs, and he turned his head so he could nibble at Faramir’s earlobe. “What I would love more than anything,” he whispered as he squeezed the oversensitized flesh between his fingers, “is for you to get hard for me one more time and make love to me. I’m ready for you, meleth…all slick and open and, Gods, I want to feel you inside me.”

Jumping as Haldir's hand closed again around his spent arousal Faramir drew back to look into his husband's eyes. He had never done that before, and with it being so soon after his release...twice in fact, he wasn't even sure he could. "Are...are you...sure? I've...I don't....I've never," he stammered as he looked into Haldir's eyes. He did want Haldir, and he wanted to know it was it was love him in every way, but he was suddenly nervous. Amazingly, though, he felt his shaft twitch in his lover's hand just from the thought of knowing what it would feel like to love Haldir that way.

Nuzzling closer into his husband’s neck, Haldir nodded. “I’m sure, meleth,” he whispered. “Just relax for a moment, let me feel your body against mine, and when you’re ready, I want you to take me.” He’d thought this might be Faramir’s first time of taking another, and despite the feelings of sadness it brought to his heart as he realized that his lover had only been used for the pleasure of others, he was glad that at least now, Faramir would know that what he wanted mattered more than anything to Haldir. His fingers continued gently stroking Faramir’s length, cupping the balls in his hand and rolling them between his fingers, letting his nails run lightly over the warm, smooth skin. “I’ve wanted you to take me since I first laid eyes on you.”

"Really?" Faramir asked in amazement. "I...I would have never imagined you'd want me that way...I have to admit that I assumed you would take me tonight...I wanted you to. I still want you to," he whispered softly. As Haldir's hand continued to caress him, he could feel his blood starting to heat in his veins again. He was shocked that he was already starting to grow hard again, and he drew in a deep breath. "Gods, what you do to me, Haldir," he whispered unconsciously shifting his hips into his lover's touch.

“I can’t wait to be inside you,” Haldir whispered honestly. “But what we have, what we share…I want it to be perfect for us both. I belong to you, meleth, and I hope you want to belong to me in the same way…but not like you thought when you first came here. I want us to share equally in everything…every dream, every touch, every desire.” He could feel his lover’s arousal slowly filling, and he tightened his grip slightly. “Everything, love…everything.”

Faramir's heart seemed to leap in his chest as Haldir spoke of them sharing everything equally in their lives. He had never allowed himself to even dream of sharing that with a mate, and now he was here with Haldir, married to him and happier than he could have ever imagined. He gasped softly as Haldir's hand tightened around him, and he smiled. "I want to share everything with you as well," he whispered before sealing his lips against Haldir's. They kissed deeply, Faramir's tongue slipping along his lover's for long moments before the need for breath forced them apart. He could feel his arousal even harder than before, and he smiled nervously. "I...how...um," he laughed at himself feeling his face color. "You may need to guide me a bit."

Breathless from their kiss, Haldir slid one arm beneath his husband and rolled them over so that Faramir was on top of him. Slowly running his hands over firm hips and the smooth planes of his back, he smiled, realizing that thankfully, the Man he loved was growing stronger every day. He’d been painfully slim when he’d first arrived in Lórien, and Haldir had made sure there was plenty of food, plenty of everything, really, that Faramir had been denied for so long. Gasping as his lover’s arousal brushed against his own, he gazed up into sparkling blue eyes. “Just love me,” he whispered, shifting so that Faramir was between his legs, which were now spread wide, and he could feel the swollen head of Faramir’s arousal nudging at his entrance. “You’ll be perfect…I don’t have the slightest doubt about that.”

When Haldir rolled them over until Faramir was on top of him and strong hands moved over his body, Faramir smiled in return. His heart sped in his chest as his arousal pressed against his lover. He feared hurting his lover, but he remembered Haldir's words about already being ready for him. Faramir grinned at the thought that Haldir must have prepared himself while his eyes were closed. He did still have doubts that he would be able to pleasure Haldir the way he wished, but he didn't bring voice to them. Bracing himself with his hands on either side of Haldir's shoulders, he stared down into lust darkened blue eyes. "I love you," he whispered as he pressed forward slowly, feeling the already slick and stretched muscle mold around him. Shuddering from the feeling of the tight heat gripping him, Faramir shifted his hips and slid within his lover, moaning softly.

Moaning low and deep in his chest, Haldir’s back arched up off the bed as he was filled so completely. Though he’d been taken before, it had been many centuries ago, and never had it felt so incredibly perfect. The slow stretch and burn as his lover moved deeper seemed to make the ache in his groin even more torturous, and he knew he could come undone so easily, just from the feel of his husband inside him. Locking his legs around Faramir’s waist, Haldir tilted his hips and took him in even deeper. “Gods,” he murmured, closing his eyes as he tried to regain control of his body. After taking a deep breath, he opened them once again and smiled up at his lover. “Perfect, meleth. Perfect.”

At first Faramir worried he wasn't doing something right, or that he was hurting the Elf when Haldir closed his eyes, so he simply held as still as he could. When his lover smiled at him, Faramir's heart leapt in his chest. Drawing back slowly, he sank forward again, setting a steady pace as Haldir's legs wrapped even tighter around him, drawing him even deeper with each slow thrust. Resting his weight on one hand, Faramir's fingers trailed over Haldir's face before he leaned down and kissed him deeply, their tongues matching what their bodies were doing. It was perfect. He'd never done this before, but his nerves disappeared as all he felt was a feeling of overwhelming love and desire for his husband. No nerves, no worries, just love and desire.

The kiss, just like their lovemaking, was slow and sensuous and everything Haldir knew it would be. His fingers moved lovingly over every inch of his lover’s body that he could reach, and he felt awash in a sea of sensation. Faramir took his mouth as he took his body, gently and with more love than Haldir had ever known, and he knew that everything he was feeling was also in Faramir’s heart as well. The friction of his husband’s stomach against his leaking sex made him moan softly, and he let his tongue trail over Faramir’s neck, which was damp and delicious. “I’m close, meleth,” he whispered, “but I want to come with you.”

Completely lost in his lover's body, in his kiss, Faramir increased his pace and moaned into Haldir's mouth. Drawing away for breath, he smiled lovingly at Haldir and leaned back enough to let his hand move between their bodies to wrap around the hard shaft trapped there. Feeling it pulse in his hand, Faramir tightened his grip slightly. His hips moved faster, thrusting deeper within his lover as his hand began to stroke the slick length matching their pace. "I'm close as well," he whispered, surprised after having found his release twice before. As their bodies moved together, he shuddered as his release began to rapidly build, his balls drawing up tight against his body. "Oh Gods, Haldir," he gasped, "Come with me now, love."

No longer able to form coherent words, Haldir simply nodded as he met his lover thrust for thrust. The fist wrapped around his cock was moving in the same rhythm as Faramir’s deep thrusts, and his back arched up off the bed again. With a muffled cry, he felt his release slam into him, and his entire body clenched around the thick shaft buried deep inside. His hands gripped Faramir’s hips and pulled him in even deeper as he spilled over the still-stroking fingers, coating his lover’s hand and his own stomach and chest.

Faramir cried out when already tight muscles clamped down around him, sending him spiraling over the edge for the third time that night. He spilled deep within his lover as he felt Haldir's slick release pour over his fingers between them. He continued to thrust slowly until he was completely spent and collapsed against his lover, breathing heavily and burying his face against Haldir's neck. His lips moved against his husband's sweat slick skin over and over again as he breathlessly whispered how much he loved the Elf in his arms. He knew that no matter how many years he lived, he would always, always, remember this night.

Haldir buried his face against Faramir’s neck, breathing heavily, and despite the heat, unable to release his hold on the man he loved. He hoped this night had been everything Faramir had hoped for, and he promised himself that no matter what, he would see that his husband had everything in life he wanted from this moment on. He deserved so much more, but this, at least, Haldir knew he could deliver. “Gods, meleth, I love you, too,” he whispered against Faramir’s ear. “So very much.”

Faramir smiled as Haldir whispered to him, and he drew back slightly. He knew his smaller frame was probably not crushing his lover, but he carefully drew back so he wasn't resting so heavily against him. "I've never known anything like this..." he whispered softly, meaning every word. He felt himself slip from within his lover and sighed regretfully as he shifted to lie beside Haldir. "I am so blessed to have found you and your love." Snuggling against his lover, Faramir rested his head on Haldir's shoulder.

Pressing a soft kiss to his husband’s temple, Haldir closed his eyes and pulled Faramir closer. “So am I, gûren, so am I. I will always abhor the way you were brought into my life, but, Gods, I’m so glad you’re here.”

Faramir smiled and closed his eyes, just enjoying being held by his husband. It was hard to believe that in less than two weeks he'd found and married the love of his life, but it was true. Rising up tiredly he searched for his discarded breeches and then cleaned Haldir and himself before tossing the garment aside and collapsing back down against Haldir. Yawning, he snuggled closer and smiled. "This has been the most perfect day," he murmured sleepily.

“The first of many,” Haldir promised sleepily. “Happy wedding day, meleth. Sweet dreams...and thank you for loving me.” Curling up around his lover, he closed his eyes and smiled. It had been perfect, in every way, all because of the Man in his arms, the Man he would love with every fiber of his being for as long as he drew breath.

Faramir smiled as Haldir curled around him and wished him a happy wedding day. "Thank you for saving me, for loving me, and for sharing your life with me," Faramir whispered in return. "Sweet dreams, my love." Pressing a soft kiss against Haldir's shoulder, Faramir snuggled into the loving embrace and closed his eyes. He'd never dreamed his life would change only a few weeks ago, and now here he was, free, happy, and married to the most perfect Elf on all of Arda. He fell asleep with a soft smile on his lips, knowing that this day was only the beginning of his new life.

Chapter 12

It had taken several weeks for Faramir to arrange a meeting with Boromir in a small village halfway between Lórien and Gondor. He could tell that his letters didn’t particularly convince Boromir he was truly happy, and though he had wished him well on his marriage, he suspected his brother thought that he was now tied to someone who only used him and didn't really love him. He hoped that meeting Haldir would prove to his brother that he truly was in love, that Haldir loved him, and that they were happy. In fact, they were extremely happy, and he thought it would do Boromir some good to see him this way.

Squeezing Haldir's hand as they walked up the stairs at the Inn toward where his brother was staying, Faramir smiled nervously. "Like I said before, he might not be terribly friendly toward you at first. I think he needs to be convinced that we do love one another...I can just tell from the tone of his letters that he was holding back...but please, don't let it get to you," he whispered to Haldir.

Haldir took a deep breath and smiled at his husband. The change in Faramir since he’d been brought to Lórien was undeniable, and he only hoped Boromir would see the difference. The long, slim frame had filled out beautifully, and there was a sparkle in Faramir’s eyes almost constantly since their wedding day. He smiled easily now and proudly met any gaze directed his way, and Haldir couldn’t have been happier about that little fact. Best of all, Faramir’s sense of humor had been coaxed from within him, and he and Haldir spent many long hours teasing and laughing with each other. Now, however, he could tell that his lover was a bit nervous. “I won’t,” he said softly. “I can understand how worried he must be about you, and I don’t blame him, meleth. I think I like him already just because he wants to make sure you’re in good hands.”

Faramir smiled at his husband and nodded in agreement. He knew that Boromir only had his best interests at heart, and so did Haldir, so he hoped that they got along. As they stopped before the door the innkeeper had directed them to, Faramir raised his free hand and knocked. Before he could even draw a deep breath the door swung open, and Boromir stood there before them looking a mixture of nervous, worried, and suspicious. Not even sparing the Elf next to his brother a glance, Boromir didn't say a word, simply grabbed his brother in a huge, breath-stealing hug.

Faramir laughed as his hand remained in Haldir's yet he was being bodily hauled forward into his brother's room, surrounded by strong arms. "I've missed you, too...but, Boro, I can't BREATHE," Faramir said, laughing softly.

Haldir was practically dragged into the room as Boromir’s arms wrapped around Faramir, and a small smile touched his lips. He took the opportunity to study his brother-in-law even as he heard Faramir laughing and trying to regain his breath. Boromir was handsome, though, to Haldir nowhere near as handsome as his younger brother. They both had a welcoming smile, though Boromir’s smile, thus far, hadn’t included him. He couldn’t blame him really – all Boromir knew was that his baby brother had been given to Haldir as a ‘prize’, to be his slave, and now, here they were, married. As Boromir finally released Faramir, Haldir bowed his head slightly. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Boromir. Faramir has told me much about you.”

Boromir released his brother and looked at him for a long moment as he still held his shoulders. He did look happy as he said he was in his letters though he still wasn't entirely convinced. As his brother's husband spoke his hands dropped away as did his smile and he nodded toward him. "Good to meet you, too," he said, not nearly as pleasantly as Haldir had. "My brother has written a great deal about you to me." He stepped back from the still open doorway and ushered them in. "Come in, please. I've missed you so much, little one.”

"I've missed you, too," Faramir said as he closed the door behind he and Haldir. They walked in together and took a seat next to one another on a small couch. Boromir sat down across from them in a chair and ran his hands through his hair. Faramir knew it to be a gesture his brother made when nervous or worried. "Boromir, I...I know my letters were a surprise, but...I do hope you are happy for me," he sad hoping to cut through the tension and get right to the point instead of dancing around it.

Haldir squeezed Faramir’s hand briefly as he wondered if he should excuse himself and let the brothers talk. Faramir, however, kept a firm grip on his fingers, as if he sensed his husband’s indecision, and Haldir bit back a chuckle, always amazed at how easily his lover could read him – even more easily than his own brothers. Deciding to let their conversation continue without interruption, he tried to relax, but still found himself sitting nervously on the edge of the couch. There was nothing Boromir could do to keep them apart, he knew that, but the very idea that the brother Faramir loved so much might not like him weighed heavily on his heart. //He has to see how happy he is now…and please, Gods, he can’t want Faramir to return to the life he had before…not if he really loves him.//

Boromir watched the way Faramir's hand remained in Haldir's, and he noticed the Elf actually seemed nervous. "I know you say you are happy, and I must admit you look happy...but...forgive me for worrying. I know you explained much in your letters, but...are you certain...are you both certain marrying so...so soon...was the right choice?" he said, trying his best to be as diplomatic as possible. It wasn't his strongest suit - talking like this- it was more Faramir's territory than his, but he did need to know why on Arda they had married within two weeks of Faramir's arrival in Lórien.

"It was the right choice. I know you think it was fast, but it was the right choice for us. We...we fell in love quickly, and I didn't see a point in waiting. I love him more each and every day," Faramir said, turning to look at Haldir and smiling. He could tell Haldir, too, was nervous and almost found the situation laughable. Here he had always been the timid, shy one, and now Boromir and his brave husband, Haldir, both looked nervous enough to jump out of their skins.

Here he was, Haldir thought, a leader of hundreds of Elves, the Marchwarden that almost everyone in Lórien feared, and he was reduced to a nervous wreck around this Man before him. He didn’t really think Faramir would let Boromir to convince him to return to Gondor, and he knew he would do anything, including begging if he had to, to convince Faramir not to leave. He had no reason to, honestly, but the love of a brother was a strong incentive. When Faramir spoke, however, he relaxed and looked lovingly at his husband. “As I love you, meleth,” he whispered softly, losing himself for a moment in beloved blue eyes. Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to look away after a moment and met Boromir’s gaze. “I would do anything for him, Boromir…I adore your brother, and I swear he is safe now.”

Boromir watched in silence as the couple gazed at one another, and he realized that if the situation were as he had thought it might be, and then it was likely they wouldn't even be here. Haldir wouldn't care if Faramir wanted to see his brother. He wouldn't care if he approved or not, though the Elf seemed nervous as if he did seek Boromir's approval or at least acceptance. Leaning back in his chair he nodded as Haldir spoke to him. "Safe is something I could never offer him," he whispered sadly. "You truly are happy, aren't you?" he asked, directing his eyes to Faramir, who was still looking adoringly at the Elf beside him.

"I am...oh, Boromir, I've never been this happy, I do miss you, but I don't miss Gondor. I hope you understand that," Faramir said softly.

Boromir shook his head. "I never expected you to miss Gondor, you told me that no matter what happened you'd never return as long as father lives. I've accepted that."

Haldir’s face flushed at the mention of their father, and he automatically squeezed Faramir’s hand, assuring himself that he was safe. “I mean no offence to you, Boromir, but I could happily kill your father for using Faramir as he did for all those years. I know there was little you could do, but…Gods, I hate the Man already, and I have never laid eyes on him. If I do, however…”

Boromir laughed humorlessly and shook his head. "No offence taken, Haldir. I never approved and often argued with him but...he would not see reason. I don't know why he forced...why he, Gods...I just don't know how or why he did it. I was away when it first happened, when I returned months later and found out I was furious, but...I couldn't seem to convince him to stop, and...while you might have no qualms about killing him...he is our father...or...at least he was," Boromir said, looking down at his hands. "At any rate, you say Faramir is safe now...and you do look healthier, brother...so as much as I wish I understood how you could have married so quickly...I'm glad that you are safe."

"I am safe, and I'm happy. You know I never blamed you for not being able to make father stop...I have a feeling if you'd have pushed him too hard things would have only gotten worse." Faramir looked down for a moment at his hand joined with Haldir's. "You may not understand why we married so quickly, but it was not just the fact we loved one another, it was also to protect me, if that helps you come to grips with the idea any better."

Haldir’s anger drained slowly away, as Faramir, always the voice of reason, and the only one who could ever calm him, spoke. “Faramir’s life is very different from the one he had in Gondor, Boromir,” he explained, seeing that Faramir’s brother was trying his best accept their union. “I was entranced by him the moment I first laid eyes on him, and it took me only hours to fall in love with him. He was never once treated as a …a slave, or whatever Feanor told you he would be. And he never will be. He is my husband, and all of Lórien has grown to love him on own merit, despite the circumstances in which he was brought there.”

Boromir nodded, recalling the letters Faramir had written about how it had turned out so much differently than he thought it might. He looked at Haldir for a long moment and realized there was nothing false about the Elf, and he could tell from the way Faramir looked at him that there was no way he was not treated well and loved. "All I've ever wanted for him was to be safe, happy, and loved. So I guess...I should stop worrying?" he asked, and then shook his head. "But I understand you have younger brothers, Haldir...we will never stop worrying will we?"

Faramir smiled broadly when Boromir addressed Haldir and used their being older brothers as a connection. He knew Boromir would eventually come around and was thrilled about that.

Haldir laughed and nodded, reaching out to shake Boromir’s hand in the manner Faramir had told him Men used to show friendship, or, in this case, acceptance. “No, we certainly won’t ever do that,” he agreed. Smiling at his husband, he finally allowed himself to relax and leaned over to kiss Faramir on the cheek. “I love you, meleth,” he said simply before turning back to Boromir. “And I hope you, Boromir, can visit us sometime soon. You will always be welcome in Lórien.”

Boromir leaned forward and took Haldir's offered hand, shaking it firmly. He could tell Haldir was a warrior just from his bearing and the calluses on his hands, and he knew that if Haldir loved Faramir as much as he said he did, then Faramir would always be protected. He looked down though when Haldir drew away and whispered to Faramir. "I'd enjoy that...I'd need to make a good excuse where I would be to get away from father and his spies...like this time I had to arrange to buy some horses here in the village. But I would very much enjoy visiting you and seeing where Faramir is living now."

Faramir couldn't stop smiling when Haldir and Boromir shook hands. Then when Haldir said he loved him, his smile grew wider. "I love you, too," he whispered in return before Boromir and Haldir were speaking again. As nervous as he had been about Boromir's reaction, it had gone far better than he could have ever dreamed.

“It isn’t the biggest talan in Lórien,” Haldir smiled, “but it’s filled with more love than any of the others, I can guarantee you that. Well…filled with love and books. Many, many, many books. Your brother is quite the reader, my friend. I was going to surprise him later, but since you’re here, I might as well tell you that when we leave here, we have an appointment at the bookstore down in the village. The bookseller has promised to have as many books as we want delivered…and,” Haldir smiled and squeezed Faramir’s hand again, “knowing your brother, we will soon end up building a second talan just for them.”

Boromir laughed and nodded as Haldir spoke of Faramir's love for books. "Ah, you certainly know him well," he laughed. "I imagine that bookseller is going to be a very happy man at the end of the day." He grinned.

Faramir's mouth dropped open as Haldir spoke of the bookstore, and he looked at his husband for a moment. "You...you didn't tell me there was a bookstore here," he said softly, and Boromir snorted. "What?"

"I hate to say it, but Haldir knows you quite well, you'd probably have forgotten all about me if a room full of books was mentioned," he teased.

"I would not have!" Faramir said, pouting, and then as Boromir smirked and raised his eyebrow, he laughed. "I wouldn't!"

Haldir laughed and released Faramir’s hand to slid one arm around his waist. “Oh, meleth, you’d have forgotten me in a roomful of books!” he teased.

Faramir's pout grew more pronounced, and he shook his head. "I wouldn't have forgotten...besides, who would I snuggle against when I read them?" he asked, not thinking about Haldir's rule of not letting anyone know that he snuggled.

Boromir stifled a snort and looked down at his hands. All of his worries and doubts had slipped away during the short exchange about Faramir’s love of books. It was easy to see that Haldir loved his brother with all his heart, and he couldn’t think of a better place for Faramir to be now than with someone who so clearly loved him.

“Me,” Haldir laughed and pulled Faramir against him, kissing his temple. “You can’t snuggle properly with anyone but me…we fit together too perfectly for you to snuggle with anyone else.” Hearing Boromir laughing, he let his fingers trail gently over his husband’s ribs hoping to erase the pout, adorable as it was, in favor of the laughter he loved so very much. “Not that I snuggle… You were speaking hypothetically, right, love?”

Faramir giggled as knowing fingers found every ticklish spot on his torso, and he squirmed away from his husband. "That isn't fair...tickling isn't fair...and yes...hypothetically, of course. Everyone knows the mighty Marchwarden does NOT snuggle. I don't know what I was thinking," he said, laughing and winking at Boromir, who had to cover his mouth to cover his laughter.

No. If Boromir had any lingering doubts at all about their relationship, they had just been erased.

Haldir dissolved into laughter as well and gently pulled Faramir back into his arms. “I don’t snuggle, and you aren’t ticklish…and we’re sticking to that. Though not a word of it is true.” Turning back toward Boromir, he sighed. “See what your brother has done to me, Boromir? Turned me into a snuggler, a tickler, and, worst of all, he makes me laugh and smile all the time! The nerve of some people! What am I going to do with him?”

Boromir laughed and shook his head. "The only thing I could ever do with him was love him. Just love him, Haldir," he added seriously. "Anyway, I don't want to keep him from his books, why don't the two of you go on down, and I'll go and buy those horses to keep any spies father might have here from getting suspicious. We can meet back here later for dinner, if you like?"

"You really think he's spying?" Faramir asked worriedly.

"I know it. He doesn't trust me; you know that, he doesn't trust anyone anymore. I wish I knew why he's changed so much the last several years...anyway...you don't have to worry about that anymore. He can never touch you again," Boromir said, standing up.

Haldir got to his feet as well, and offered his hand to his husband. “No, he will NEVER touch you again,” he said softly. “No one will touch you against your will, I swear to you, love.” Shuddering as he thought once again of all Faramir had been through, he forced a smile to his face and nodded at Boromir. “If we don’t show up by dinnertime, send someone to the bookstore. I’m sure I’ll be following my handsome husband around with an armload of books as he walks up and down the aisles.”

Boromir laughed and nodded. "I will do that," he teased. "Despite my earlier misgivings...I am happy for you both," he said, offering his hand again to Haldir. "Thank you." He hoped that Haldir would know all that those two simple words meant.

Faramir sighed heavily from his husband and brother's teasing, but smiled when Boromir offered his hand to Haldir again.

Catching Boromir’s gaze, Haldir smiled and nodded. “You’re welcome,” he said softly, understanding just what his brother-in-law meant. “It is truly my pleasure…and thank you for your blessing. It means more to me than I could tell you, my friend.”

Boromir smiled and nodded in return and then pulled his little brother into his arms for another hug, kissing his forehead. "I'm so glad to see you happy," he whispered softly. "Forgive me for not walking down with you, I don't wish to draw attention to us."

"We understand," Faramir said softly before he and Haldir headed for the door. He was already looking forward to their trip to the bookstore and then dinner later with Boromir. He was so happy that Boromir had accepted Haldir that he found he couldn't quite seem to stop smiling.

Haldir slid an arm around Faramir’s waist as they walked out the door and waved goodbye to Boromir. “Well, love, that went well, I think. I guess you’re officially stuck with me since he sees how perfect we are together. Too bad for you, really, but I can’t say that I’m unhappy about it at all…”

Faramir laughed as Haldir teased him, and his own arm wrapped around Haldir's waist. "I think it went well, too, love. Better than I expected actually."

The End.

NB: Please do not distribute (by any means, including email) or repost this story (including translations) without the author's prior permission. [ more ]

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20 Comment(s)

Please continue. Poor Faramir, thank goodness Haldir is taking care of him.

— Lothlorien Vampiress    Wednesday 7 June 2006, 2:14    #

Oh I hope you continue to enjoy the story as it progresses! Thanks for letting us know you are reading and enjoying their story! :)

— Sairalinde    Wednesday 7 June 2006, 9:42    #

woooo~ very cool fic~! Am waiting for the next installment with baited breath~!!!
holds breathing and slowly turning blue

— enkenemiel    Saturday 10 June 2006, 11:53    #

This isn’t Feanor as in Fëanor Curufinwë High King of the Noldor, creator of the Silmarils and first of the Kinslayersis it?

Tara,

No, I don’t think this Feanor is the High King of the Noldor, as that Fëanor lived and died in the First Age, whereas this story clearly takes place in the Third Age.

It is common for names to be re-used: most parents do not invent an entirely new name for their child. This also happened in Tolkien’s Middle Earth. Remember that both the main characters of this story have namesakes: we also know of Haldir, son of Halmir and Faramir, son of Ondoher.

As mentioned, comments are very welcome, but please make sure they are constructive.

Thanks-
- the archivists

— tara    Thursday 15 June 2006, 23:22    #

Oh no poor Faramir. Please let Haldir get back in time to save him.GRRRRRR I hate Elarin.

— Lothlorien Vampiress    Wednesday 21 June 2006, 1:55    #

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Haldir saved Faramir!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I think that Haldir should have killed Elarin. My friend Yaoi She-Elf thinks the Haldir and Faramir should have hooked up in the books and movies, I think the same. She is also greatful that Haldir saved Faramirl. She also agrees that Elarin should have died.

— Lothlorien Vampiress    Wednesday 28 June 2006, 11:27    #

So glad you enjoyed that chapter and yes…Elarin probably SHOULD have died but…Faramir was worried if Haldir killed him that Haldir would end up in trouble. As he said he had no ideas what the laws in Lorien were. :)

Glad you and your friend are enjoying the story though!

— Sairalinde    Wednesday 28 June 2006, 11:32    #

Turning blue isn’t good! Hope that this next installment allowed you to get your breath back! hehe Glad you are enjoying!

— Sairalinde    Wednesday 28 June 2006, 11:34    #

yay! they’re falling in love*jumps up and down* more more more more more more more more more more more!!!!!!!!!

— Yaoi She-Elf    Sunday 2 July 2006, 9:25    #

They are so lovely together! Thank You so much. I love this fic! If I can’t get Haldir or Faramir, it’s only fair that they are in love ;)

— Kiisseli    Saturday 8 July 2006, 16:15    #

tear that was sooooo cute!!!!!

— yaoi She-Elf    Sunday 9 July 2006, 5:15    #

Heh. I’ve been away from FaramirFiction too long if I’ve missed a gem like this!

— Ertia    Monday 10 July 2006, 8:25    #

YAY! YAY! YAY! their geting married!!!!! i cant wait!!!!!

— Yaoi She-Elf    Thursday 13 July 2006, 17:21    #

Yay!!!!!! And I agree with my friend Yaoi She-Elf on the fact that they are getting married I can’t wait!!!!!!!

— Lothlorien Vampiress    Thursday 13 July 2006, 19:43    #

Faramir explaining that he wanted to wait after the ceremony was really cute:-)). And I like your story a lot.

— melogale    Friday 14 July 2006, 14:49    #

YAY!!!!!! Boromir likes Haldir, its soooooooooo cute!!!!!! Keep Writing!!!

— Yaoi She-Elf    Monday 31 July 2006, 17:09    #

I can see Haldir falling in love with Faramir already and vice versa.

— balrog    Wednesday 27 June 2007, 0:10    #

This was the best story I have read. It was beautiful. Thanks again.

— balrog    Wednesday 27 June 2007, 8:53    #

Love the story!

— Gloria    Saturday 15 October 2011, 3:58    #

thank you very much. Another great story from you.Thanks

— blondie    Saturday 14 December 2013, 19:35    #

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