Home » Fiction

Warning

This story is rated «NC-17», and carries the warnings «m/m relationship».
Since you have switched on the adult content filter, this story is hidden. To read this story, you have to switch off the adult content filter. [what's this?]

Remember that whether you have the adult content filter switched on or off, this is always an adults only site.

The Road Ahead (NC-17) Print

Written by Valkyrie

18 December 2007 | 23561 words

[ all pages ]

Title: A Light on the Horizon
Series: THE ROAD AHEAD (Part 5/8)
Sequel to: THE RITUAL
Author: Valkyrie (email)
Pairings: Aragorn/Faramir, Aragorn/Arwen (implied), Faramir/Éowyn (implied)
Rating: NC-17
Archive: yes, but let me know where
Warnings: m/m relationship
Summary: Aragorn decides to take matters into his own hands
Authors’ note: this is totally AU. If you like to read things canon, this is not a story for you.
Feedback: kind words will be welcome as well as constructive criticism.
Disclaimer: The characters are property of J.R.R. Tolkien. I have not and will not receive any money for this story. It is free for all to read.

Very especial thanks to my beta reader Chris. All remaining mistakes are mine.


Part Five – A Light on the Horizon

Aragorn was walking towards the royal chambers, his thoughts moody and stormy as was usual these days. Faramir was a few paces within his reach and not a day passed that he did not think about knocking at Faramir’s door and see how the young man was fairing.

He was being a fool; he knew it very well. But he could not help it. Faramir was his strength and his weakness at the same time. With him his life was complete and without him he felt lost and empty inside. Corny as it might sound.

He knew, as well, this was not fair to Arwen. So far she had been very understanding of his situation, but he wondered for how long this would be the case. To be honest with himself, he was not good company these days. He felt sad and nostalgic most of the time, and it was a torture to attend the council meetings, a fact that left him somewhat cranky at the end of each one of them.

And then, he had to add the every day torture of having to walk past Faramir’s room. He was sure the young man knew it was him, walking very slowly, always hesitating in deciding if to knock at the door or not. Yes, Aragorn was sure he knew. One day he even had seen the shadow of Faramir’s feet below the door as the young man approached the threshold. He had sensed Faramir’s hesitation; he had felt his doubt and expectation.

Expectation about what, he did not know. He had bolted before allowing himself to pursue this little piece of information. He had quickly walked to the safety of his own rooms, his heart about to burst out of his chest and a sense of guilt taking over his thoughts, berating himself about his behaviour, behaviour not proper for the King of Gondor.

Yes, after that episode he sat a long time in his rooms thinking about the foolishness of it all. They were grown men acting like children. They would have to meet sometime soon for their stations required it. Then, what was the problem? Why could he not just knock at that door and ask his steward how he was fairing? Why was it so difficult to do such a simple thing?

Because he was being a weak fool and was letting misplaced guilt get in the way of things. He knew that none of them were to blame for what had happened. He knew the logic of it all. But the fact was that when he thought about Faramir, or he was in front of Faramir, all logic and sense disappeared and only misplaced guilt remained.

Aragorn’s steps came to a halt in front of Faramir’s rooms once more. It was as though his body had acted on its own, leading him to the source of his wandering thoughts. He looked at the door as though he would find the ultimate wisdom and counsel written on that piece of wood. And then, he decided to stop his childish behaviour and act as the king he was. He would talk to Faramir; he would try to have him back. The fact that he had promised the young man he would not bother him again, forgotten in an instant. He looked at the door and suddenly felt he could make it work, if not completely, at least to a certain point. He wanted his Faramir back; he needed at least the young man’s friendship.

In that moment Faramir opened the door, scattering away Aragorn’s purpose and thoughts when the young man faced him, a surprised look on his features.


Faramir had felt miserable as soon as Éowyn stormed out of his rooms. He had pushed her away with his doubts and dark musings. He certainly was a grown man, too old to be mooning around like a child. Although what had happened to him was not easy, he certainly was a warrior of Gondor and as it was, he had not behaved as one all these days. He should be stronger than this.

Éowyn was right about certain things, and he had to meditate about her rightness in certain others. Anyway, one thing was sure. He could not keep hiding in his rooms forever.

Faramir’s musings were interrupted by the sound of footsteps in the corridor, and he felt such chagrin for upsetting Éowyn that he did not think twice, he just assumed it was Éowyn, and all he could think about was apologise. So, he ran to the door and opened it to find Aragorn in front of him.

It was so unexpected that he could not hide his surprise nor school his face. He froze.

On the other hand, the King of Gondor was not far behind his steward in his lack of proper manners, for he just stood there looking at his subject as though all the answers of the universe lay on the young man’s face. Nevertheless and much to his credit, he was the first to come out of their stupor to politely ask forgiveness for bothering Faramir at this hour and if he could walk in for just a moment.

“Of course, forgive me for my lack of manners, my king,” answered Faramir in haste, stepping aside to let Aragorn pass.

Aragorn walked past Faramir, feeling knots in his stomach when he heard him falling to the ‘king’ title once more. Now that he was in Faramir’s presence, he could not find the words to plead his case. He could feel the young man’s gaze on his back, but still he could not bring himself to gather his thoughts. In the end he opted for the lame and obvious.

“How are you fairing?” Aragorn asked facing Faramir at last. The young man’s eyes almost took his breath away, and for a moment Aragorn thought he would not respond, but then Faramir seemed to find the words.

“I… I am well, my king. I am fully recovered and ready for whatever task you ask of me,” he answered with a little bow.

Aragorn stood mute for a moment that seemed hours for both of them. He could not miss the all too formal tone and demeanour that cut like a hot knife through his heart.

“Faramir, please, do not be so formal. Cannot you call me by my name? I would prefer it.” Aragorn could not fail to notice Faramir was still rooted to the same spot near the door. The young man had closed it but seemed reluctant to step closer to Aragorn or to move at all.

“I would not feel comfortable doing so, my king.”

Faramir looked Aragorn straight into the eyes, and it seemed to Aragorn he saw a hint of defiance in the grey depths. He started to feel impatience. Why was Faramir so stubborn? It was one thing that he wanted to leave Gondor and did not want to pursue a relationship with him, but another very different matter was that they were starting to behave like strangers. That was out of the question.

“And why is that?” Aragorn asked in return, his tone denoting that he was not feeling very happy at the moment.

Faramir seemed to bristle. His eyes were like a stormy sea. He seemed to battle with himself for a moment. “I am only the steward, it would not be proper to put protocol aside-”

“Protocol?” Aragorn interrupted, his voice rising a notch. “What are you talking about? How can you stand there and say such nonsense to me after all that we have been through? How-”

“Nonsense?” Faramir interrupted, throwing just mentioned protocol to the winds, for it was obvious that was the last reason for his wooden demeanour and with a low implacable voice that stopped Aragorn right in his tracks he continued, “So now it is nonsense to follow royal rules? If that is nonsense, then is it nonsense, too, to follow one’s duty as well? Is it nonsense to obey the king’s orders?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I am only reminding my king that I am a humble servant and as it is, I will follow your commands.”

Aragorn was on the brink of losing his patience. He wanted to reach for Faramir and shake him until sense returned to the young man. Faramir’s mounting rage was palpable. Aragorn could feel it washing in waves over him. He thought his beloved looked beautiful, his eyes filled with fire. He could kiss the young man right there and then. Do not go there, he chastised himself. Nevertheless, he kept the distance. He did not want to startle Faramir in any way, though he really wanted to understand what Faramir meant.

“I do not need marionettes and stiff servants at my side, Faramir. I need-”

“Of course, my king; that is why I think you did the right thing by sending me to Ithilien. I would not like to bother you with my stiff presence.”

Silence filled the room. So deafening that if the guards in the hall sighed, they would be able to hear them.

Faramir realised too late that he had let anger and resentment guide his words. He had given himself away. His words conveying very clearly he resented to be sent away and consequently, implying he wanted to stay close to Aragorn. He could not help but look away, feeling exposed and inadequate.

Aragorn on the other hand tried by all means to squash the grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. Faramir’s words washed over him like fresh spring rain. The meaning was all too clear, and he could kick himself for being such a fool. Faramir did not want to go to Ithilien or at least he did not want to leave just yet.

“But, Faramir, if I am not mistaken, you were the one who wanted to leave in the first place. I was just following your desires,” said Aragorn, breaking the pregnant silence and congratulating himself, for his voice sounded quite neutral. He knew he was not being fair, throwing that moment of weakness in the young man’s face like that, but he decided that whatever this conversation was leading to, the conclusion was not going to be him losing Faramir.

“I… I was out of line, forgive my impertinence,” said Faramir, facing Aragorn, schooling his face to a resemblance of calm though his heart wanted to escape his chest.

Aragorn wanted to reach out for Faramir, who was still staying as close to the door as possible, as though at any moment he would take flight. He could see Faramir’s efforts to display a calm façade and the embarrassment and misery showing in the grey depths. Suddenly, the situation was not amusing anymore. He could feel the young man’s mounting despair, rising to fuel his own. When he saw Faramir could no longer look into his eyes, he decided to throw caution to the winds.

“Faramir, what can I do to make you trust me again?” asked Aragorn taking one step toward the young man. “I do not want to lose you. I love you. What else is there to say?”

Aragorn had reached Faramir’s side and miraculously the young man had not bolted. Still, Faramir had his gaze fixed on the floor and Aragorn could see a fine tremor running through his body. Finally, he reached out and placed a tentative hand on Faramir’s arm, expecting to be rejected. He released a breath he did not realise he was holding when Faramir accepted the light touch.

Faramir felt paralysed. He wanted this more than ever, but something deep inside him did not let him reach out for Aragorn. He felt so inadequate and weak and worthless. He could not conceive Aragorn’s love for him. He had felt secure in it once, and it seemed that had happened ages ago. He could not see why Aragorn wanted him now after… He could not even look his king in the eyes without picturing himself in that room, feeling the pain and hopelessness and betrayal.

‘Betrayal’

Faramir stepped on that thought. Aragorn had not betrayed him. The king did not have a choice. Aragorn was forced by the circumstances, as was he.

“…right? Faramir?”

Faramir heard the voice as though from very far. He came to himself from his reverie to see the king’s worried expression. He let himself be guided to the nearest chair. His body felt light, his legs weak.

“Why?”

The question took Aragorn by surprise. He helped Faramir sit and then crouched in front of him, taking the young man’s hands between his. Faramir returned his gaze as in a trance.

“What do you mean? What do you want to know?” asked Aragorn, his voice a mere whisper, as though afraid to break some spell.

“Why do you love me? Why can you when I cannot stand myself?”

Faramir’s voice broke, and Aragorn thought his heart would break from the sound of it. He could think of a thousand reasons. How do you explain the magnitude of your love to someone who lost faith in it? How can you explain to someone how precious he is when he does not value himself?

“I can tell you many reasons for my love for you. I can tell you, it was preordained, that I was fated to fall for you the minute I saw you. That is reason enough for me. I can tell you that your kindness called to me, your soul that you wear in your eyes and your heart, which you always carry in your sleeve. You were transparent to me, your spirit as beautiful as Anor herself, and your light as warm and as needed. This adverse wind we will face together. This storm blows to remind us both of the love we share.” Aragorn could see silent tears running down Faramir’s face but this time happiness was their reason to be.

In the end, the young man reached out and embraced Aragorn. He kneeled on the floor with his king and felt for the first time that maybe not all was lost.

NB: Please do not distribute (by any means, including email) or repost this story (including translations) without the author's prior permission. [ more ]

Enjoyed this story? Then be sure to let the author know by posting a comment at https://www.faramirfiction.com/fiction/the-road-ahead. Positive feedback is what keeps authors writing more stories!


8 Comment(s)

oh, my! can’t wait for the next chapter.

— traveller    Wednesday 24 October 2007, 4:31    #

This is absolutely beyond words. Amazing! Thank you so much for writing this wonderful story and please continue as soon as you can…

— eve    Thursday 25 October 2007, 23:13    #

I remember that I read The Ritual long time ago and kept expecting to find The Road Ahead would appear, then finally gave up. So I’m so excited to be able to read it up to the conclusion. Thank you.

— Kittyrefuge    Tuesday 30 October 2007, 19:52    #

Thank you! For a week I knew exactly when you promised to add more chapters to this story, and: you did! Thank you for keeping your promise and for continuing this wonderful story. Cannot wait for the next chapter now! Warm regards, Eve

— eve    Sunday 4 November 2007, 0:54    #

Hi! Thank you, this story is wonderful. I have to admit that I keep on waiting for the next chapter! Kind regards, Eve

— eve    Wednesday 14 November 2007, 22:29    #

what a beautiful ending, thank you so much! (i had been waiting for this story since i read The Ritual)

— traveller    Tuesday 18 December 2007, 20:11    #

This is a heart achingly beautiful piece of work. Ever since I read the ritual I hoped to see a sequel, only to find that it was hiding under my nose. Thank you so much for sharing.

Byte    Tuesday 22 January 2008, 7:13    #

A fabulous story, thanks Valkyrie!
Perchance, do you envisage a sequel, this will be wondeful.
Amicalement.

— camille    Thursday 9 July 2009, 19:12    #

Subscribe to comments | Get comments by email | View all recent comments


Comment

  Textile help

All fields except 'Web' are required. The 'submit' button will become active after you've clicked 'preview'.
Your email address will NOT be displayed publicly. It will only be sent to the author so she (he) can reply to your comment in private. If you want to keep track of comments on this article, you can subscribe to its comments feed.

Filter

Hide | Show adult content

Adult content is shown. [what's this?]

Adult content is hidden.
NB: This site is still for adults only, even with the adult content filter on! [what's this?]

Translate

  • DE
  • ES
  • JP
  • FR
  • PT
  • KO
  • IT
  • RU
  • CN