Faramir Fiction Archive

A Change of Heart (NC-17)

Written by Sairalinde and Anorienbean

03 March 2006 | 41243 words

Chapter 2

The first thing that registered in Faramir’s mind as he began to wake up was an incredible warmth against his chest, and it felt as if fine silk pressed against his chin and neck. A slow smile spread across his face as he realized what was going on. The events of the early morning came back to him, and he remembered that Haldir had been cold and had snuggled close to him for warmth. It felt… comforting and oddly right which baffled him. How could he feel like this about someone he had been taught his entire life was the enemy? Maybe it was because Haldir was helpless right now. He had no way to protect himself, he was completely at Faramir’s mercy, and as he’d said to him, he simply could not kill an unarmed Man or Elf. It just wasn’t the honorable thing to do. Then again, maybe it was because of what he felt when those sparkling blue eyes looked up at him. He sighed and looked down at his companion, drawing back slightly so he could look at the Elf’s face.

Haldir was quite simply a stunning creature. Long lashes that rested against perfect cheekbones seemed to draw his attention. He remembered carrying him to the cabin as the snow fell and wanting to kiss the flakes gathering on his lashes away. Why he’d had that desire, he had no idea. It… wasn’t right to look at him the way he had, but Faramir realized he wasn’t able to control his thoughts. Yet, he wouldn’t act on the attraction he felt for the Elf. He couldn’t. It was one thing to stay his hand from killing an unarmed Elf who was injured, it was yet another to… to… what, exactly? Want him?

Frowning at the thought, Faramir carefully untangled himself from Haldir and got out of bed. He slipped on his boots and put on his weapons. Perhaps he could see about finding them something to eat before they both starved to death. With one last look at his sleeping charge he felt a smile tug at his lips from the way Haldir snuggled into the warmth Faramir had left when he’d gotten up. He put on his cloak and put more wood on the fire before stepping out into the still rapidly falling snow.

He hunted for over an hour before he killed a few rabbits that had been out searching the snow for food themselves. On his way back to the cabin he stopped at one of the large willow trees he’d seen and cut out enough bark to last a few days for a tea that might help Haldir with the pain Faramir was certain he endured. Through it all, all the moving, everything, he’d not done more than given a soft muted moan, but Faramir knew he was holding back. He could see it in Haldir’s beautiful eyes.

Arriving back at the cabin he stomped the snow off his boots as quietly as he could before entering.

Haldir stirred as the cool winter air swirled through the door as Faramir entered the small cabin. He remembered little of the hours before, only that a kind and gentle Man from Gondor had rescued him from certain death, had passed on the opportunity to kill him, unlike many Men would have, and instead, bound his leg and offered his own cloak to warm him. A vague memory of strong arms carrying him to safety, of blue eyes that shone with tenderness as a soft, lilting voice spoke of honor, drifted through his mind, and he slowly opened his eyes. Forgetting his injured leg, he started to sit up, and gasped as pain raced through his body like fire. Weakly, he rested his head back on the pillow and clenched his fists in the blanket. “I… good… morning? Afternoon?” he said softly to his companion. “How long did I sleep?”

Faramir winced as he looked up and saw the look of pain on Haldir’s face. “I tried not to wake you, it is late afternoon. I managed hunt a bit and got some of the willow bark. If I can find something to boil water in, I’ll make you a tea for your pain,” Faramir said crossing to the table and setting everything aside. He took off his cloak and shook it out before hanging it by the fire. “The snow is still falling,” he said conversationally as he searched the little cabin for a pot or something to boil water in. Rummaging through one of the little cabinets he smiled as he found a few old pots, well used, but without any holes. “I think the Valar may have smiled on us both,” he grinned, looking over the door at Haldir and feeling his breath catch in his chest from the way the Elf was simply looking at him.

Haldir was able to push the pain aside as he regarded Faramir. Never in his life had he been attracted in the least to someone of a different race, and certainly, never to a Man, but he found that he simply could not keep his eyes off the young Gondorian. He does not like Elves. Remember that. He is probably planning on giving you the tea and letting you fend for yourself the very instant the snow stops falling. Looking down abruptly, he bit his lip and took a deep breath. “Maybe our luck is changing,” he said, rolling over on his back, being careful not to move his leg this time. “Though… I think I was so exhausted when you found me, I failed to ask why you’re out here all alone… much as I am. Were you separated from your troops as well, or were you simply traveling?”

Faramir moved about the cabin searching for anything and everything they could make use of. He was grateful to whoever had lived here before for leaving so much behind. Then again, with the world as it was, they may not have intended to leave but had been killed and simply couldn’t return. He pushed that thought aside and looked up when Haldir asked how he came to be here alone. “Like you, my company was attacked by orcs. They killed our scouts first, and when we found their bodies it was too late for us to fall back, they were on us before we could even think. I got separated from my men and the only reason I’m not dead or injured is because the orcs simply stopped fighting, turned and ran when a horn was blown. It all happened so fast and then nothing. I couldn’t find any of my men, so I started walking. That’s how I found this cabin,” he said gesturing vaguely at their surroundings. “Then gathering firewood… I found you. I don’t even know if my Rangers yet live or if they were all killed or captured… it… I’ve never seen orcs attack that way. They were far more intelligent and… well, to plan an ambush that way. Orcs normally meet you head on… it… was… unexpected.” Faramir shrugged and looked in a trunk near the end of the bed. He found a quilt and a few other items.

Haldir nodded and gingerly sat up on the bed until his back was braced against the wall. “Then you have seen it, too,” he said softly. “I think they are under new orders… or a new master these days. They seem more vicious, more brutal, and far wiser than any orcs I have encountered before. I hope your Men are alive, Faramir, but may the Valar help them if they have been captured. After our battle, I am almost comforted that the Elves under my command are now out of their reach.” His leg was beginning to throb again and he realized just how weak he was – the simple act of sitting up had left him panting for air and shaking like a leaf. “I know you must be anxious to leave this place, mellonamin,” he continued, “but as soon as I heal, I will find you and help you search for your Men. It is the least I can do after you spared my life and brought me to safety.”

Faramir looked up from his perusal of the trunk and tilted his head sideways as he regarded Haldir. “I am afraid you have confused me. Find me? Am I lost?” he grinned, playfully. “I am not leaving you if you think that. You can’t manage on that leg alone, and I don’t think I’d get far in this weather. Unless of course… you… would prefer that I leave?” he asked suddenly unsure of himself. Perhaps Haldir didn’t want him there after all? He laid a cake of soap on the table along with a few somewhat threadbare drying cloths.

“No,” Haldir said at once, almost a little too quickly. “I mean… I don’t want you to leave. I just… I remembered you said your orders were to kill Elves on sight, and, well… I just figured being here with me in this small cabin would be the last thing you would want to do.” Worrying the edge of the blanket between his fingers, he finally managed to meet Faramir’s gaze. “I am sorry. I didn’t think you would have any qualms about leaving me here to fend for myself. I was wrong. You truly are a Man of honor, Faramir. It would truly make me happy if you stayed here. Then, I will help you search for your Men, if you would allow me to do so.”

Faramir was slightly shocked by Haldir’s reaction. Moving over to the bed, he sat down on the edge, careful not to jar Haldir and cause him pain. “I want to take care of you, Haldir. It… it does go against everything I’ve been taught since I was a child, but I… I… can’t explain it really, but I couldn’t leave you like this. Besides, I’m… I’m not sure I can go back. I’ve broken my father’s law… I’m not sure I’d have anything to go back to if he found out that I did help you. I try to tell myself he’d understand honor, but… I’m not sure he would,” Faramir said softly with a wistful smile. “At any rate, you are stuck with me, at least until you are healed and can return to your home.”

Haldir’s eyes widened at Faramir’s words. “You… you’re not sure you can go back to your home?” he asked incredulously. “Simply because you helped me? Gods, Faramir… I… I don’t know what to say. There is… nothing stopping you from killing me now. I certainly am in no position to defend myself, but… I can see in your eyes that that isn’t what you want. Gods. I am so very sorry to have put you in this position.” Without even realizing it, Haldir’s hand moved to rest of Faramir’s as it lay against the blanket, and his fingers closed over his companion’s. Squeezing Faramir’s hand gently, Haldir offered him a grateful smile. “You offer to let me return to my home… but where will you go?”

When Haldir’s fingers closed over his hand, Faramir felt that same warmth from before spread through him. Looking up at his friend, he smiled. “I will find my place. Maybe it is for the best, I… didn’t get along well with my father. We disagreed on a great many things, and after meeting you… we have one more thing to disagree on. For I do not find you to be the evil creature he has convinced all of Gondor that Elves are. So perhaps I was meant to meet you… perhaps get lost in the wilds only to find my proper place,” he said softly. He looked over toward the table and nodded. “And… I need to make us some dinner, I don’t think those rabbits are going to cook themselves.” He grinned, trying to lift the sad feeling that had settled around them.

A small, sad smile touched Haldir’s lips as he watched the sadness pass over Faramir’s handsome face. The Valar often worked in mysterious ways, and there was no way on Arda he could deny the attraction he felt to Faramir. “Perhaps we were fated to be… friends,” he said softly, almost as if he were speaking to himself. Or… perhaps, we were fated for more. Leaning his head to one side, Haldir grinned and shifted on the bed. “Elves are not evil. At least, most of them aren’t. As with Men, I think there are good ones and bad ones. You, Faramir are definitely one of the former.” Finally dragging his eyes toward the table he continued. “And I hope you are a good cook as well. I promised you I wouldn’t starve earlier… but I am not sure how much longer I can keep that promise.” With a final, gentle squeeze to Faramir’s hand, Haldir released it and gestured toward the table. “Is there a way I can help?”

“You can help by simply keeping me company while I get everything prepared. Tell me about your home and yourself… and I will do the same. Get to know one another a little bit more,” Faramir said softly. He felt slightly bereft after Haldir released his hand, though it still tingled from the gentle touch.

Moving away from the bed to start preparing dinner, Faramir worked and listened to Haldir tell him of the beautiful place that he grew up in, and Faramir shared tales of his life in Gondor. The Man went out into the snow a few times to collect it in the pots he’d found to boil and make willow bark tea for Haldir and to use for washing. While the rabbits roasted over the fire, Faramir settled down on the bed again next to Haldir, finding himself smiling as his friend spoke.

“I do think you would like my brothers,” Haldir continued. “I hope that one day, I may introduce you to them. They will want to thank you themselves.” He was resting against the wall, trying his best not to move his leg, which still ached with every breath he took. But being able to see Faramir smile and hear his laughter took the edge off, and Haldir found himself laughing softly as his friend spoke. They were a both a bit more relaxed around each other, and his next question had fallen from his lips before he even realized it. “So. Is there a… wife… or partner… or… someone who will be waiting for you to return to Gondor?”

“No, only my father and my brother,” Faramir answered shaking his head. “I’ve had time for little else than being a Ranger. My post… is often under attack,” he said, standing up and going to the fire to check the tea. Carefully pouring some of it into one of the metal cups he’d found, he returned to the bed. “You are in pain, though you haven’t said anything, I can see it in your eyes. Here, this will help ease it some, though it might make you sleepy,” Faramir said, handing the cup to Haldir. “The rabbits should be ready now as well.” When Haldir took the cup their fingers brushed and Faramir smiled slightly. How could his father have said Elves were evil when Haldir’s touch was so comforting?

Gratefully sipping the tea, Haldir felt a small thrill race through his body. So he is not wedded. How on all of Arda can that be? He is perfect… beyond perfect. Well… for a Man, anyway. Almost rolling his eyes at himself, Haldir tried to convince his heart that, no, it was not a good thing for an Elf to be attracted to a Man… especially one that had been brought up to hate an entire race! He watched as Faramir bustled around the kitchen, preparing their dinner, as the tea relaxed him and helped keep the pain in his leg at a more tolerable level. He never would have thought it possible to feel safe and… content… in the company of a Man, but that’s exactly what he was feeling. Well, look at you. You’re filthy. You have leaves in your hair and dirt on your face. Not to mention your leg… that’s got to be the most disgusting thing he’s ever seen. So keep your mouth closed and do not even think about trying to see if he’s interested or not. Because he can’t possibly be. Can he?

Earlier Faramir had found two metal chargers, they were dented, but would serve as plates. He washed them and served up their meager dinner of roasted rabbit. He would search around the cabin tomorrow and see if whomever lived here had a vegetable patch that the woodland creatures hadn’t taken over. Perhaps he could salvage a potato or two, if it existed at all. They’d been lucky so far, so he tried not to be too hopeful. Crossing back to Haldir with a small bowl with warm water and soap, he set them on the stool by the bed and wet a corner of one of the towels. He took Haldir’s cup from him and before even thinking about how silly he might seem he took Haldir’s hand and started washing it himself. Realizing too late what he was doing, his face flushed and he looked up at Haldir. “I… I’m so sorry. I’m sure you’d rather do that yourself,” he whispered, but his fingers didn’t seem to want to release Haldir’s. They simply looked at one another for a long moment before Faramir swallowed, looked away, and released Haldir’s hand.

Haldir’s fingers were just getting ready to curl around Faramir’s hand as he pulled away. He was stunned by the simple, sweet gesture, and completely charmed by the blush that now covered Faramir’s face and neck. Before his companion could move away, Haldir reached out and closed his fingers around Faramir’s, even as his heart pounded in his chest, and his stomach seemed to tie up in knots. “I… I don’t mind,” he whispered. “You… don’t have to stop.”

Faramir felt his heart skip in his chest as he looked back up and met Haldir’s gaze. He couldn’t seem to find his voice and even if he could, he wasn’t sure what he would say. Gently he took Haldir’s hand again and cleaned it, noting several cuts and scrapes from either his battle with the orcs or his ordeal trying to get out of the ravine. As he carefully cleaned each one, he felt his stomach twist and the wish that he’d been able to help him, find him sooner so he had not suffered in the ravine, seemed to play in his mind. Without a word, once he finished with the right hand, he took the left and did the same. “Perhaps after dinner we can both get cleaned up a bit. I would love to see your hair without those tangles and leaves. I’ve truly never seen hair as… as beautiful as yours,” he said softly before gathering up his things and carrying them back to the table. His face was burning again and he didn’t want to embarrass himself or Haldir any further. Why did I say that to him? That was foolish of me.

Haldir watched Faramir clean his hands with more care and gentility than he’d ever thought possible. He resisted the urge to let his thumb trail over the back of Faramir’s fingers and concentrated on simply staying still and enjoying being taken care of. When Faramir spoke then quickly gathered his things and moved away, Haldir’s mouth fell open and he smiled. Maybe… maybe he does feel it? Maybe he is… attracted to me after all? Despite the dirt and the leaves and the broken leg and everything else? He could almost imagine how it would feel for those gentle fingers to comb through his hair, and Haldir’s own fingers itched to return the favor and bury themselves in Faramir’s soft-looking, copper-colored mane. “Thank you,” he said softly. “For… the compliment, I mean. I would dearly love to be clean again. I’m sure you wouldn’t mind my having a bath as well, especially since there is only one bed.”

Faramir laughed softly and nodded. “Yes, I wouldn’t mind getting clean either. I saw a washtub outside earlier, if it doesn’t have holes in it, perhaps later I can boil enough water to get us clean. With your leg… I guess we can work our way around it,” he said softly as he washed his own hands again and gathered their dinner. Crossing back to the bed he sat down next to Haldir and handed him his plate. “I’m afraid it isn’t much, but it will see us through,” he said.

Haldir stifled a yawn and settled the plate on his good leg. “The tea is making me sleepy, but helping, just as you said it would,” he said as he struggled not to tear the meat off and wolf it all down at once. “And I’m sure this food will make me sleepier… but I don’t think I can rest until I’m a bit cleaner.” Shivering as he heard the wind howling outside the cabin, he looked up at Faramir once again. “Gods, it’s so cold out there.” And you were so warm last night.

Faramir looked up toward the little window across the room and nodded. “It is very cold,” he agreed. They ate their meal and neither of them said much more until they had eaten enough that they no longer felt hunger pains. Faramir hadn’t gone as long as Haldir had without food, so he could imagine how famished the Elf was. When they were finished, Faramir cleared everything away and offered the damp towel to Haldir to clean his hands. “It will take a little while for me to boil enough water for baths. You just relax, you look tired,” he said, patting Haldir’s shoulder lightly before setting to work again. He was glad to have the tasks to keep his mind from dwelling too much on the strange feeling he got every time he touched Haldir.

Haldir nodded sleepily and laid his head back on the pillow. He wanted to sleep, but found it difficult to take his eyes off Faramir. The tea was helping with the pain even more than he had hoped, and he ended up dozing on and off as Faramir worked. “I promise to let you relax while I cook and fix everything for you as soon as I’m able, mellonamin,” he murmured at one point, before his words trailed off into a soft snore.

Faramir smiled when Haldir promised to return the favor of taking care of him, but didn’t get a chance to respond before he heard a soft snore. He smiled even wider. He made several trips outside into the snow and back before he had enough water boiling in every pot and kettle he could scrounge up around the little cabin. The tub he’d seen outside wasn’t rusted and was actually in better shape than he thought it might be. He set a large pot of water on the table and pulled one of the chairs over near it with the washtub below to catch the excess water. He hated to wake Haldir, but he had said he wished to be clean. Moving over to the bed he leaned down and touched Haldir’s cheek gently. “Haldir? I hate to wake you… but the water is ready,” he whispered, not wanting to startle the Elf and cause him to move abruptly, causing his leg to hurt again.

Haldir sighed contentedly as he felt a gentle touch against his skin and unconsciously nuzzled closer. His hand moved up and covered Faramir’s, and, just as he wanted to do earlier, his fingertips brushed lightly over smooth skin. “Hmmm,” he smiled, as he slowly opened his eyes. Realizing what he’d been doing, but still under the effects of the tea so deeply that he wasn’t quite as embarrassed as he should have been, he blushed and bit at his bottom lip. “Sorry. I guess I just… Sorry.”

“It’s all right,” Faramir said softly, trying to will his heart to start beating again. “You were asleep, I hated to wake you, but the water is ready if you’d still like to get cleaned up,” he said. Drawing away slightly he nodded toward the chair by the fire. “You’ll be nice and warm over there… I’ll carry you so you don’t put any weight on your leg.”

Forcing his eyes open, Haldir had to bite back a smile. Yes… your arms around me… I think I’d like that very much. Who needs the fire to stay warm? He slid to the edge of the bed, careful to keep his leg as immobile as possible, and he tried to will his heart to stop pounding. “Thank you again, my friend,” he said even as he yawned again. “I hate being such a burden, but hopefully I will heal quickly and pull my own weight around here soon.”

Faramir smiled and slipped one arm around Haldir’s waist and then the other under his legs. “You aren’t that heavy, so you don’t have too much to look forward to,” he teased as he carried Haldir the short distance to the chair. Settling him down carefully he pulled over another stool with a pillow on it for Haldir’s injured leg to rest upon. “Comfortable?” he asked as he set poured another kettle of hot water into the larger one on the table.

Haldir laughed and leaned back in the chair. His leg still ached, but nothing like it had before, and somehow, just having Faramir close made him feel even better. “Yes,” he said, almost shyly. “I guess… I can take my tunic off first. I don’t suppose there are any other clothes around here…”

Faramir felt his pulse jump as Haldir said he needed to take his tunic off and tried to will the feeling away. No doubt he was attracted to Haldir, and how could he not be? He was stunning. Faramir tried to convince himself that what he felt was merely physical attraction. “I did find an under tunic, but I believe whomever lived here before… well… they were quite large. I think both of us could get in it,” he said, grinning widely. But if you’d like it, at least it would be clean, and I could wash your tunic and dry it here by the fire,” Faramir suggested. He walked over to the trunk and drew out the clean garment and held it up showing just how large it was.

Haldir laughed, even as the words seemed to bounce around in his mind. ‘I think both of us could get in it.’ Let’s give that a try, shall we? Skin against skin, so close together that we can each feel the other one breathing. Heart to heart, as I lick the side of your neck and… Gods! Stop it. “I… I think it’ll work for the time being,” he stammered. Blushing furiously, he slid forward a bit on the chair and quickly lifted his tunic over his head. His hair was so tangled, however, and he was so uncoordinated from both the pain that flared in his leg as he moved and the effects of the tea, he was soon hopelessly entangled in a mass of dirty fabric and even dirtier hair, struggling to free himself. “Umm… help?” he asked, trying to mask his frustration even though he couldn’t see or even move.

Faramir crossed the room quickly when he saw Haldir struggling and almost laughed at the muffled ‘help’ his friend muttered, sounding quite frustrated. “Hang on, don’t struggle,” Faramir said softly. A lock of Haldir’s hair was caught up in the fastenings of his tunic, and he carefully unthreaded the strands and then finished lifting the garment over his head. “There we are,” he said smiling, though his smile slipped slightly as he gazed at Haldir. Gods, he’s gorgeous. He found his fingers itching to touch, to caress, and his mouth practically watered with the thought of kissing a trail down the smooth hairless skin. He swallowed hard though his mouth felt dry. Stepping back he laid the soiled tunic aside. “Now… um, let’s try and get your hair clean,” he said slightly unsteadily.

Haldir’s face was flushed once again, but this time more from his helplessness than anything else. The look in Faramir’s eyes, however, made his heart jump and he forgot whatever it was he was about to say. “Um… hair. Yes. My hair. It’s… dirty.” Forcing himself to look away from Faramir, he looked around at the pots and sighed. “I… maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. I don’t think I can lean over, and I can’t seem to wake up enough to even think straight. And, besides, if I could think, I don’t believe I could get past wondering what you would look like without your clothes, wondering how your skin would feel under my lips… Telling himself that he was hopeless, Haldir sighed and gave Faramir a tired smile. “I’m sorry. I think I’m definitely being more trouble than I’m worth. I bet you already wish you had left me at the bottom of the ravine.”

“Haldir,” Faramir said frowning, “please don’t say such things. You won’t need to lean over, simply lean your head back,” he said, leaning over Haldir and coaxing the Elf to do so. Being so close to Haldir made his pulse jittery in his veins, but Faramir tried to not let his desire show. He doesn’t want you… and you shouldn’t want him. You are friends. And… he’s injured. You would be taking advantage even if you did manage to make an advance. Taking a deep breath, he smiled. “Just relax, close your eyes if you like, and I’ll do the rest,” he said as his fingers ran through Haldir’s hair, trying to comb out a few of the tangles and debris still in his hair.

Sighing, Haldir gave in and leaned his head back on the chair. Faramir’s fingers in his hair was just as relaxing and sensual as he’d thought it would be, and his sigh of resignation turned to one of bliss. Thankful that the tea had lowered his inhibitions, he reached back and let his hand run lightly over Faramir’s forearm. “You have the most soothing touch I have ever known,” he said softly.

Faramir’s hands stilled as Haldir touched him, and he caught himself before he lowered enough to press his lips to Haldir’s. Drawing away again he shook his head slightly. What is wrong with you? He’s only grateful, he’s not meaning to encourage you. Moving behind the chair he finished his task of untangling the long soft hair and drawing out leaves and clumps of dirt. Once he thought he had gotten all that he could, he took a smaller pot and dipped it into the larger one, pouring the warm water over Haldir’s hair until it was soaked through, and then lathered his hands with the soap. He started at Haldir’s temples massaging the lather into his hair and working out the rest of the dried dirt. “I’m sure you’ll feel much better after this. I know it always makes me feel so much better after a long time on duty in the wilds to get clean again,” he mused as he worked. He tried to ignore the arousal he felt pressing against the lacings of his breeches. It is only a natural reaction… nothing more. He told himself that, though he hardly believed it.

A soft moan fell from Haldir’s lips as Faramir washed his hair. It felt good… no, it felt wonderful, and despite the tea that was making him sleepy and the dull ache in his leg, he felt his heart skip a beat in his chest. Gods, I would give anything to just pull him into my lap and kiss him! To just let my fingers move over his skin, through his hair, hold him close, and find out if he tastes as sweet as I imagine he does… He drifted off into a light doze again and tilted his head back even further. “Feels so good, Faramir,” he murmured.

A flash of heat shot through Faramir when Haldir moaned, and he felt his arousal grow even harder – and then Haldir’s softly murmured words sent another spike of heat even sharper than the first through him. Gods, I want to kiss him so badly I can almost feel the outline of his lips against mine. Faramir shook himself, trying to keep from leaning over the blond and kissing him. Instead he tried to concentrate on his task. Once he was finished lathering Haldir’s hair thoroughly he warned him softly. “I am going to rinse your hair now. I didn’t want the water to startle you since you are starting to fall asleep again,” he whispered.

Haldir slowly opened his eyes and smiled at Faramir. “Do anything you like, mellonamin,” he said softly. Like kiss me. That would be perfect. Just… press your lips right over mine, let your tongue drift across mine…

Faramir felt as if his heart stopped in his chest when Haldir opened his eyes and smiled up at him. It took every ounce of self-control he could muster to simply rinse the long golden hair. Slowly he continued to pour water over the beautiful locks until the water ran clear. When he was done he used his hands to carefully press out as much of the water as he could from Haldir’s hair, and then he took one of the towels he’d found and wrapped it around the Elf’s head. “All done… with your hair at least. I… I’ll be back, I need to get a bit more snow to melt so I’ll have enough water for myself,” he said as an excuse. He grabbed two of the pots and rushed out into the cold without his cloak. Leaning against the door for a moment, he considered throwing himself down into the snow. Gods, I’m losing my mind. After a few moments his body finally registered the frigid air surrounding him. He gathered snow into the pots and went back inside to hang them over the fire.

Haldir relaxed back against the chair as he waited for Faramir to return, wondering why it was taking him so long. Gods… I think he knows I’m attracted to him. He’ll probably hate me now. He’s just trying to be nice, and here you are, practically throwing yourself at him. You can’t blame the tea for all of that! He was almost ready to call for Faramir, when he walked through the door carrying several pots. “I was starting to get worried,” he said softly. “I was just trying to figure out a way to crawl out the door and drag you back inside. We’ve got to keep each other warm you know… and you didn’t even take your cloak.” Again, the words were out of his mouth before he realized it, and he fought the urge to slap a hand over his mouth in shock. Oh, that really made things better!

Before he could stop himself, Faramir muttered as he hung the pots over the fire, “I didn’t need it.” The words were out before he could stop them, and he almost held his breath, praying that somehow Haldir hadn’t heard. It was so quiet in the woods and the cabin he was certain the Elf had no trouble hearing him. He hung his head as he knelt by the fire… waiting… for what, he didn’t know.

Shocked into silence, Haldir simply stared at Faramir’s back, trying to convince himself that he’d heard correctly. Didn’t need it? Because…? Could he be as… aroused as I am? Is he feeling it too, or… Gods, why am I so worried about this? Why is this so important to me?“Faramir?” he said softly. “I… I need to ask you something. Can you… please come closer?”

Faramir remained with his back to Haldir and for a split second of childish insanity; he almost moved closer to him, keeping his back turned. Mentally rolling his eyes at himself, Faramir took a deep breath and turned around. He knew his face would give him away by its bright red color, but thankfully he could keep some of his dignity because his tunic was rather long. “Yes?” he asked in return, feeling worry gnawing at him. He knows. He heard you and now that you’ve made a fool of yourself, you’ll never be able to look him in the eyes again.

Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves as Faramir turned toward him, Haldir tried to figure out what exactly he planned on saying. All too quickly, his companion was standing next to him, however, and he reached out to take Faramir’s hand. Tugging gently, he looked up into blue eyes, wondering if the flush on Faramir’s face was from shyness, or disgust, or something else all together. “Closer,” he said softly. “I… want to see your eyes when you answer me. Can you… bring the other chair and sit next to me?”

Faramir swallowed hard, walked over by the bed and grabbed the chair there. He carried it over to where Haldir was and sat down. “Haldir… I…” he trailed off, unable to say anything. He didn’t want to say he was sorry, because honestly, Faramir wasn’t sorry for being attracted to the Elf. He didn’t want to make Haldir uncomfortable, but he refused to feel guilty for… for wanting him in a way he’d never wanted anyone else in his life.

Forcing himself to sit still, Haldir cleared his throat. “I… I sense that I may have made you uncomfortable earlier,” he said, staring down at his hands as his fingernails scratched at the arm of the chair. “I know you said you were brought up to believe Elves are evil. Yet, you saved my life, you’re taking care of me, and… and Gods… I don’t even know how to say this. I know Men generally don’t like Elves, and visa versa. And if I am out of line in saying this, then please, just attribute it to the tea I drank earlier, and we won’t have to speak of this again. It’s just that I… I find myself incredibly attracted to you, and… I was wondering if you were possibly… maybe… well, if you could ever be attracted to me in return one day?”

Listening to Haldir speak, Faramir turned slightly in his chair to face him better. When the words ‘if you could ever be attracted to me in return one day’ registered he almost smiled. “One day?” he asked softly and shook his head. “Not one day, Haldir. Now. Ever since you first looked into my eyes, I think. I… I don’t understand it, and like you I know it isn’t… normal for a Man and an Elf to be… to… be attracted to one another, but… I am. I have had to fight the desire to kiss you all evening, in fact,” he admitted, looking down at his hands.

Haldir’s shoulders slumped in relief, and he slowly moved his hand to cover Faramir’s. He was stunned that Faramir felt this way, even thought the signs had pointed to it from the very beginning. He knew his own rather pathetic attempts at flirting had not gone very well, yet… here they were. “I don’t understand it, either,” he whispered, as his hand moved up to gently tilt Faramir’s face until their gazes met, “but I think you are the loveliest creature I have ever seen… either Man or Elf, and, I find myself praying to the Valar that you will stop fighting your desire to kiss me and just… do it.”

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