Faramir Fiction Archive

A Change of Heart (NC-17)

Written by Sairalinde and Anorienbean

03 March 2006 | 41243 words

Chapter 3

When Haldir’s hand moved over his and then his face was tipped up to meet the sparkling blue eyes before him, Faramir felt everything he’d known – everything he’d been taught – simply fly right out of his mind. Leaning closer, he pressed his lips against Haldir’s in a gentle kiss, not demanding at all, but full of everything he felt for the amazing Elf. feelings he hadn’t even allowed himself to think on in the last day. The kiss slipped from gentle to much more when Haldir’s lips yielded under his own, and his tongue slipped past perfect lips to taste and explore. It warmed the blood in his veins and made his pulse race as he sank into the kiss, discovering that Haldir had quite simply the sweetest taste he’d ever known. Drawing back slightly, he invited Haldir’s tongue to slide beyond his own lips. He hardly even realized his hands sank into damp golden hair until they finally drew apart for breath.

Completely giving himself over to the kiss, Haldir’s sigh was lost somewhere between them as he pulled Faramir closer. His tongue gently explored every corner of Faramir’s mouth, sliding over smooth teeth and delving in the warm, wet corners of his cheeks before moving back to dance with Faramir’s tongue. When they finally drew apart, he lifted both hands to gently cup the flushed face before him. Moving his thumbs over Faramir’s cheeks, he leaned forward just enough to lick across the seam of the Man’s lips. “I knew you’d taste like the sweetest nectar on Arda,” he said with a smile. “That’s what I was thinking anyway. I was wrong, though.even nectar from the gods could never be as sweet or as delicious as you.”

Faramir smiled slightly as Haldir looked into his eyes, and then his tongue moved over his lips and Faramir yet again felt a spark of heat shoot through him. “I thought the same of you. Sweeter than summer honey,” Faramir said softly. He felt as if he were caught in a trance as he looked into sparkling eyes that were several shades darker than Faramir had ever seen them before. The Ranger couldn’t remember a time when he was this attracted to anyone in his life, and he wondered at that. How could he so easily be attracted to someone he’d been told his entire life was of an evil race? He wondered briefly why his father fostered that belief all these years. “I have never been this attracted to anyone,” Faramir admitted, and then he looked down. “I… I didn’t kiss you before because… I thought… I thought I would be taking advantage of your injuries and that your response would be colored by… gratitude.”

Haldir shook his head in denial at once. “No,” he whispered as he let his fingers gently brush the hair back from Faramir’s temple. He tried to slow his breathing. “Don’t get me wrong… I do feel grateful. You saved my life. But the attraction I feel for you goes far, far beyond gratitude. I think if you and I had met in the heat of battle, my heart would have been captured by your eyes… just as they were when you found me in the ravine. There is something… something about you that I can’t begin to explain, that has drawn me to you since the instant I saw you. The only reason I didn’t tell you earlier was that you had said you were raised to hate Elves. I was afraid you would be horrified… or disgusted. I am glad I was mistaken.” Leaning back in to nibble on Faramir’s bottom lip, Haldir sighed. “Gods, Faramir… it’s so much more than gratitude.”

Unconsciously, Faramir leaned into Haldir’s touch and smiled. His heart leaped in his chest when Haldir said that it was so much more than gratitude. Threading his fingers through still damp hair, Faramir kissed Haldir more deeply, savoring every moment, every soft gasp as they lost themselves in each other. After long moments, he drew away and looked into Haldir’s eyes and saw the same desire he knew was reflected in his own. “I think I could kiss you forever,” he said softly, “but unfortunately… our water is going to get cold.” He grinned at Haldir and knew that he was losing his heart to the least likely person in all Middle-earth.

Haldir chuckled and nodded in agreement. He had been aroused since the first moment their lips had met, and he shifted uncomfortably in the hard wooden chair. He had never been one to take a lover on a whim. Being with someone intimately was something that always meant something to him and never something he did without being sure that the other person felt the same way before they fell into bed. Yet now, he knew that if he hadn’t been injured, he would practically beg Faramir to make love with him. Gods… making love to a Man. Something I never thought I’d want… but, oh, how I do want him… “I wouldn’t argue one bit on the kissing forever,” he said as he reluctantly drew away and wished there was something he could put over his now prominent erection. “But you are right about the cold water. Though, honestly, that’s probably what I need at the moment…”

Faramir laughed and nodded his head in agreement. “I know what you mean.” he said taking a deep breath, “That is why I took so long out in the snow earlier… just… touching you…” His words trailed off, and he shook his head. “At any rate, we need to finish what we started… I… I mean the bath,” he added quickly and almost laughed at himself. His face was flushed again as he looked up at Haldir, who was no less embarrassed than he was. Faramir was so unsure what to do. Haldir was in no shape at all for more than kissing, really, but he wasn’t sure if he should offer to help wash him. Obviously, Haldir could wash his own chest and torso, and it would be pure torture for Faramir to do it. “I’ll … I can… just do your back for you… now that we’ve admitted our mutual attraction it should at least be less awkward, but…” he sighed heavily, “Just tell me what you’d like.”

What I’d like is to carry you over to the bed and explore every last inch of your body… but we can’t exactly do that. Yet. Haldir tried to will away the blush he knew covered his face and finally managed to look away from Faramir. He felt unaccountably happy that his companion was as aroused as he was. “I… I can do everything but my back and my bad leg,” he said softly. “If.you’re sure you wouldn’t mind helping with those. Just these few minutes of activity seem to have worn me out.” Though I think being worried sick about making you hate me didn’t help matters either.

Reaching for the wet cloth in Faramir’s hand, Haldir began by wiping the dirt away from his chest, stomach, and arms. Several times, he winced as the fabric ran over bruises or cuts he’d sustained during the fight or the fall that had followed, and Faramir had to rinse out the cloth more than once until Haldir felt he was finally presentable. “Thank you,” he smiled. “I feel much better already.”

Faramir did his best to occupy himself with other minor chores in the cabin, though his eyes did stray to Haldir more than once. The Elf’s skin practically glowed in the firelight, and it was so perfect, even the areas marred by bruises and small cuts or scrapes seemed perfect to Faramir’s eyes. He wanted to know how that skin would feel against his own, the way it would taste, the texture and contours of the muscles as he explored Haldir’s body. Faramir imagined he could do that for hours and hours and still not have nearly enough.

Once Haldir finished bathing, Faramir took the cloth back and rinsed it. “Lean forward a little,” he requested as he moved behind Haldir. Carefully lifting the long golden hair that streamed down Haldir’s back he laid it over the Elf’s shoulder. The hair was still damp, but would be dry soon. Gently Faramir washed Haldir’s back, careful not to press too hard on dark bruises or reopen any of the small cuts there. A few times he did take pleasure in letting his bare fingers drift over the smooth skin of Haldir’s shoulders, and it was just as soft and warm as he’d imagined it would be. “You truly are beautiful,” Faramir said softly, unable to keep the words to himself.

Haldir smiled and looked over his shoulder at Faramir. “As are you,” he whispered. “And I can honestly say that nothing in my life has ever felt as soothing as your touch against my skin.” Leaning forward again, he rested his elbows on his thighs and closed his eyes. “I… I think I may have… well… kind of… snuggled up to you last night in my sleep. I find myself hoping that… that you will allow me to do that again tonight. I know it might be a bit… difficult for us both, but… well, I hope that you won’t wish to… to keep your distance until my leg heals.”

Faramir’s heart felt oddly lighter within his chest as Haldir returned the compliment. He continued to wash and rinse until he was certain that Haldir was clean and could rest comfortably. “Yes, I think we were both snuggling a bit, perhaps for warmth, but also, at least on my part, to simply feel you near me. It was far more comforting than I thought it could be, so, no, I do not wish to keep my distance. At least now that we’ve admitted our attraction to each other it won’t be quite as awkward,” Faramir said as he carefully dried Haldir’s back. “I think we are done with your back. I know it isn’t as good as a proper bath, but I am sure you feel much better now.”

“I can’t tell you how much better I feel.” Haldir smiled. “From both the bath and the fact that you enjoyed being close to me as we slept. I was afraid that I was the only one who gained comfort.” His eyes sparkled as he caught Faramir’s gaze. “I only wish I could repay the favor… and give you a bath as well.” His face was hot again, but now that they’d confessed their feelings, he found no reason not to let Faramir know what he was thinking.

Faramir’s face colored as Haldir expressed his wish to give him a bath, and he smiled. “Perhaps when you are better I can hold you to that?” He loved the way Haldir’s face pinked even more, though his own matched the Elf’s.

Faramir helped Haldir with his boots and breeches and removed the splint from his bad leg. Though he longed to touch Haldir, he left Haldir to complete the bathing of his lower body and good leg himself, they both knew that would be terribly awkward. So Faramir moved away, cleaning up while he gave Haldir a little bit of privacy, though he was still close enough should Haldir need his help.

Once Haldir finished with his good leg he asked Faramir to help with his broken one. Faramir draped the quilt he’d found over Haldir and he worked carefully to clean the broken leg. It was bruised badly and somewhat swollen. He knew it was still tender and painful so Faramir was as careful as he could be. While he worked he had a hard time not looking at Haldir’s body, but he managed to maintain both his friend’s dignity and his own. Their attraction was difficult to get around at times, they each wanted to touch the other, but they both tried to ignore it as much as possible.

When he stood up again Faramir smiled and put Haldir’s breeches with his tunic to wash later. He wrapped one of the larger towels around Haldir’s wounded leg and carefully replaced the splint, doing a better job than he had before in the ravine. Then he handed the large tunic to Haldir. It was large enough and long enough to cover him all the way to his knees. Faramir laughed at one point. “Imagine someone that tall and.broad to live in this tiny cabin? He must have had a permanent knot on his head.” Haldir had laughed with him, but the Ranger could see the bath had tired him and that he was in pain.

“Here, drink this. It will help take the edge off your pain. I’ll put you back to bed as soon as you drink enough,” Faramir said, handing Haldir a cup of the willow bark tea.

Haldir gratefully drank the tea and closed his eyes. Though Faramir had been as gentle as anyone could possibly be, Haldir had bitten his tongue as the pain had quickly erased any signs of arousal he’d felt earlier. He sat back in the chair, pale and exhausted, as he waited for the tea’s effects to relax him again. He watched as Faramir continued to move about the small room. He noticed that no matter what Faramir was doing, he kept a close eye on Haldir, and Haldir felt all the more comforted by the simple gesture.

The tea slowly began to take the edge off his pain, and Haldir fought back a yawn. “If you would help me back to the bed,” he said sleepily, “I think I need to sleep a bit more. That tea you brewed is certainly effective.”

Faramir looked up from the counter he’d been cleaning when Haldir spoke. “I’m glad it is helping, if only a little bit,” he said, crossing to where Haldir sat. It had taken them so long to get Haldir completely bathed that his hair was almost entirely dry now. Faramir brushed a few strands back behind Haldir’s ear and smiled as he looked at the elegant shape. “You know, I never met an Elf before you. I still don’t understand how my father could have made that law. How could he possibly believe all Elves are evil?” he said, mostly to himself. Carefully, he wrapped his arm around Haldir’s back and the other slid under his legs. This time his hand was directly against Haldir’s skin and his pulse skipped as he carried him the short distance to the bed. Settling Haldir down he pulled the thin blanket over him and then went back and got the quilt they’d used earlier. “Just rest,” he whispered as his hand brushed Haldir’s hair back from his face.

Haldir watched in silence as Faramir tried to come to grips with his father’s words and laws. He had known that the men of Gondor were not fond of Elves… but to kill them on sight? Without doubt, he was lucky that Faramir had come upon him instead of one of the other Rangers in his company. As he was lifted so gently from the chair and placed on the bed, he smiled up at Faramir and turned his head to press a soft kiss against the hand that brushed back his hair. His eyes were heavy, and his pain had lessened, and he gave a soft murmur of pleasure as he saw shining blue eyes staring down at him. “I’m glad it was you who found me,” he sighed. “Not only because I wasn’t ready to go to the Halls of Mandos, but because… despite the circumstances, meeting you has made me feel… happy. Content. Like it was fated, or… something.”

Faramir’s breath caught in his chest as Haldir kissed his hand. “I’m glad as well… perhaps our meeting wasn’t sheer chance,” he whispered. He watched as Haldir’s eyes struggled to stay open. “You need sleep,” he whispered as he leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss against Haldir’s lips. Drawing away he smiled at Haldir. “I will be as quiet as I can so you can rest… it will help you heal.” Faramir backed away from the bed regretfully as he watched Haldir’s eyes slip closed. He moved about the cabin quietly and stepped out to toss out the dirty bath water and get fresh snow to heat for his own bath. Faramir added more wood to the fire and continued the process of heating water and cleaning the dust from within the cabin while Haldir rested. When the water was finally ready he removed his own clothes and began to bathe by the fire.

The sweet kiss made Haldir’s smile even wider and he slipped easily into a light sleep. He’d slept much more comfortably in Faramir’s arms, and even though the tea had helped, his leg was still painful, and kept him from sleeping too deeply. He found himself stirring often, and he would open his eyes to steal glances at Faramir quite regularly. After almost an hour, his eyes slipped open and he instinctively looked around the room. His heart skipped a beat at the vision before him. Faramir stood facing the fire, the long, lean lines of his body outlined with breathtaking perfection. The muscles of his legs looked strong and firm, and Haldir felt his mouth water as his eyes continued to move up. Slender hips framed a perfectly formed backside, and Haldir had to clench his fists in the blanket to keep from reaching out and begging Faramir to simply let him run his fingers over the smooth warm skin. A slim waist supported broad shoulders, and as Faramir cleaned himself, the muscles in his back bunched and straightened, making the ache in Haldir’s groin reawaken. Gods… I want him. I want to do more than kiss him… I want to know what it feels like for him to be inside me… and for me to be inside him. And once I know that feeling… I’m positive that I’ll never want to give it up.

Haldir knew he should look away, but he simply couldn’t bring himself to close his eyes. He was invading Faramir’s privacy… and he had not the right, especially after Faramir had so carefully preserved his own. After a moment, his lashes lowered, and he shifted in bed before he thought. His erection was once again noticeable, and in his haste to hide it should Faramir turn around, he wrenched his leg off the pillow. A low, anguished groan fell from his lips and his eyes closed of their own accord… this time from the pain, not the wish to allow Faramir his privacy.

Faramir heard Haldir’s groan and turned to see that his leg had slipped off the pillow. Hastily wrapping the towel around his waist as he crossed the room, he lowered himself on the bed carefully. “Are you all right?” he asked worriedly. “You must have moved in your sleep,” he murmured as he carefully moved the blankets. His eyes never drifted higher than Haldir’s thigh as he lifted his leg back onto the pillow and tucked the blanket around it more carefully to keep it from slipping from the pillow again. When he finished pulling the blanket back up over Haldir he looked into his eyes and frowned from the pain he saw. “Do you need anything? I… I should have made sure your leg wouldn’t slip off the pillow like that, I’m so sorry, Haldir.”

Gritting his teeth against the renewed pain, Haldir pushed himself up from the bed and rested his forehead against Faramir’s shoulder. “Not your fault,” he ground out, “it was mine.I wasn’t.exactly.asleep. Gods, I’m sorry, Faramir. I woke up and saw you standing by the fire, and.you are quite simply the most stunning being I have ever seen. I forgot about my leg and.well, I tried to roll over to.conceal.certain.things. I.I think I’d laugh if my leg didn’t hurt so much.”

Faramir was shocked as Haldir sat up and rested his forehead against him, then his words shocked him further. “You… you were watching me?” he asked, trying not to grin. “I’m sorry you hurt yourself… you don’t have to conceal anything from me. We already admitted we are attracted to one another… it, well, certain things will happen from time to time,” he smiled kindly, though his face was slightly red. He felt flattered that Haldir found him to be… arousing. “I was just lucky my tunic was long while I was bathing you,” he teased and tipped Haldir’s face up to his own. “I am glad that you find me attractive, Haldir, because you are the most beautiful being I’ve ever encountered in my life,” he whispered softly before pressing his lips to Haldir’s in a gentle kiss.

Smiling as Faramir spoke and then kissed him, Haldir’s arms encircled Faramir’s waist, and the pain was pushed to the back of his mind. He’d felt horrible for spying, and when Faramir had blamed himself for the pain in Haldir’s leg, he had felt even worse. Simply having Faramir’s arms around him helped more than was logical, but nevertheless, he was able to dwell on the sweet lips that were sealed over his own and the even sweeter taste of Faramir’s tongue gently exploring his mouth. When they broke away long moments later, Haldir smiled sheepishly and buried his face in Faramir’s neck. “So.you don’t think I’m a perverted excuse for an Elf, then?” he teased.

Having Haldir’s lips against his own again felt more than wonderful. It felt right, as if they were made for one another, which was a silly idea since they were so incredibly different. When they drew apart again and Haldir spoke against his neck, Faramir laughed and shook his head. “No more perverted than I am. Here you were injured, and I was so… attracted to you that when I stepped outside earlier after washing your hair… I seriously almost threw myself into the snow,” he admitted with a shy grin.

Haldir laughed and pressed a soft kiss to Faramir’s neck. “Well, I don’t feel quite as embarrassed then,” he said. “I think I need to lie back down.but first.I have to do something. I’ve been dying to just lick your neck… right here, for hours.” As he spoke, his tongue snaked out and traced its way over the pulsing artery in Faramir’s neck. Like his kisses, Faramir’s skin was even more delicious than Haldir had dreamed it would be, and he sighed contentedly against the warm skin he’d just tasted. “Better now,” he murmured as he pulled away and grinned crookedly at the man he hoped would one day be his lover before he gingerly lay back on the pillows. “I think I can relax again. And, by the way, you taste incredible.”

Faramir felt his pulse jump as Haldir licked him so sensually. He barely realized how his breathing had sped from such a simple act. When Haldir pulled away and grinned at him he returned the grin. “I am glad you are feeling relaxed again,” Faramir whispered blushing hotly. “If you need anything at all, just let me know,” he said softly as Haldir closed his eyes for a moment. Faramir leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss against his forehead before returning to finish bathing. He only had his hair left to do now and he suspected he’d have an audience for that. He grinned to himself at the thought before he leaned over the tub and began washing his hair. Once he was finished with his hair, he pulled on another of the large tunics he had found in the trunk and he washed both his clothing and Haldir’s and hung it all to dry in front of the fireplace. He wouldn’t need to go back out for firewood for several more hours, so he crossed to the bed and slid under the covers with Haldir to stay warm.

Haldir somehow managed to keep the smile from his face as he watched Faramir, this time barely even trying to conceal the fact that he was watching this time. Before long, however, he did drift back to sleep and stirred only when he felt Faramir sliding into bed next to him. He noticed how careful Faramir was not to jar his leg, and his heart filled with warmth at yet another gentle, caring gesture from the man next to him. Barely opening his eyes, he moved closer, burying his face against the warm chest before him and sliding his arm between Faramir’s arm and his side. “Much better,” he murmured sleepily. “You need rest too. You’ve had to lug around an Elf all day, you poor thing. But.the Elf greatly appreciated it, and, he will admit to enjoying it. A lot more than he should have, given the current, pathetic state of his leg.”

Faramir sighed softly when Haldir snuggled close against him and then laughed when Haldir spoke. “I did not mind, and your leg is not pathetic, only broken, and it will heal,” Faramir said softly. He pressed his lips against Haldir’s forehead and murmured. “And I enjoy taking care of you, enjoy touching you, and enjoy the way you look at me. So you can’t pity someone who enjoys something,” he teased gently as he wrapped his arm around Haldir and threaded his fingers through the golden strands of his hair. It was as soft as silk as it slipped through his fingers easily, and he closed his eyes contentedly.

Chuckling softly, Haldir closed his eyes and pressed a kiss against the hollow of Faramir’s neck. “Well, then, I don’t pity you at all. And I’m glad you enjoyed it as well.because it looks like you might have to help me and touch me and take care of me for a few more days, if you’re still willing.” His voice trailed off into another yawn and he burrowed closer still. “Sweet dreams, Faramir,” he whispered, as his hand rested against the small of Faramir’s back, and he breathed in the sweet scent that was uniquely Faramir’s own.one that would, without a doubt, be his favorite smell for the rest of his life.

Faramir laughed softly and pulled Haldir a little closer as he snuggled into him. “Sweet dreams to you, Haldir,” he whispered in return. His eyes sank closed and he listened to the slow even breathing of the slumbering Elf. I do believe I am losing my heart to you, Haldir. I certainly can never go home again. Not after meeting you and seeing for myself that my father’s law is wrong. No matter what happens in the end of all of this… I cannot go back to a country that would have me kill someone for the tiny difference of the shape of their ears and length of their life. He slipped into a light sleep himself and held Haldir in his arms the entire time.

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