Faramir Fiction Archive

Because of You (NC-17)

Written by Sairalinde and Anorienbean

24 December 2008 | 98532 words

Chapter 14

Faramir had been so caught up in his worries about his father he had not considered that Gondor had no leader right now. The only person in line for the stewardship was… himself. He blinked and looked at Haldir for a moment. “I… it would… well technically it would be me… but I was never really groomed for the role much, I suppose father was so confident in Boromir’s abilities that… he never considered needing me to fulfill the role. Gods, I know what should be done but… I am not sure I can do it.” It was true, Faramir had never even considered stepping into the role of steward before but now someone had to do it, didn’t they? He could not allow certain members of the council to hold sway over the city, that much he knew. Gondor would certainly fall if those greedy men were to run the city.

Haldir toyed idly with Faramir’s hair as he spoke, then nodded. “I have seen the strength and honor you possess. Gondor would be lucky to have you as their steward,” he said softly. “If you like, I can tell him, or speak to him at the very least, or… something. The war is not ending anytime soon, I think, so I can spend a few days – or even weeks here. There are not many Elves left in Lothlórien, so it is not like I am needed anywhere in particular. I will be glad to postpone my death and help you.”

It sounded so strange. Glad to postpone my death… Faramir smiled a little though. “Thank you… I… do not think it would help for you to speak to him… you saw his reaction to you today. I will have to do it, I am no coward but I admit this does scare me… I’m a ranger not a steward… but I do know what has to be done,” he sighed heavily and rested his head against Haldir’s shoulder. “Thank you for staying, Haldir.” He closed his eyes against the next thoughts. I love you… I do not know how I will manage when you do leave.

The golden Elf tried not to stare at Faramir as his eyes closed and his head rested against him, but he couldn’t help it. His fingers almost went from combing though his lover’s hair to caressing his face, though Haldir stopped himself before he did that. A part of him longed to soothe away the frown and the worry lines that had appeared but he didn’t know how… besides such a gesture was for someone in a real relationship, not just sharing physical pleasure. The hand dropped away and as Haldir got comfortable, he managed to unconsciously pull Faramir closer against him. “You are welcome,” he whispered softly, curling his fingers in the soft material of Faramir’s tunic so they wouldn’t betray him. “Now rest. Dinner will be here shortly, then Gandalf will follow thereafter.”

Faramir sighed as Haldir pulled him closer and he simply clung to the Elf. His heart was heavy both because of Boromir’s death and his father’s… illness or whatever it was but even though it was only temporary, at least he had Haldir. Gods, I already depend on him for so very much… and yet he still wishes to leave and seek a death that I do not understand. Faramir wondered yet again what drove Haldir to that decision and he wondered how it was that the Elf who was so kind to him did not have friends before now. Faramir tried to stop thinking though, tried to simply relax as they waited for dinner and at some point he had drifted off to sleep.

Haldir had not yet admitted that he was beginning to think his death could wait a while longer… years, or decades even longer. He hadn’t come to terms with that at all, and a part of him probably never would. Frowning and wishing he knew what was going on in Faramir’s head, he stared into the flames for close to an hour, lost in thoughts he didn’t want to acknowledge… or even have in the first place.

Faramir was startled awake when someone knocked on the door and he realized it must be dinner that Haldir had asked for. He sat up and smiled sleepily at Haldir who had sat patiently while he’d slept. “I am sorry I fell asleep on you,” he said softly, a little embarrassed. He did not like to admit it but ever since his injury he had tired more easily than before.

Haldir grinned and shrugged as he carefully untangled himself from Faramir and stood. “I am getting quite used to it,” he shrugged, crossing the room and opening the door. He took the tray from the servant, then almost slammed the door in her face. It took him a moment to remember that he was a guest here. “Oh… I… er… thank you?” he managed, knowing that blue eyes regarded him quietly from before the warmth of the fireplace. He felt like he should say something more, but wasn’t sure what. “You will pick this up in half an hour. We are expecting a guest and bring some extra blankets when you do. Faramir will apparently be sleeping here tonight. Good evening.” He was quite civil, he thought to himself – much, much more so than normal, and didn’t even recognize the fact that he hadn’t said please, or even used a halfway kind word.

Faramir sat watching Haldir as he opened the door and took the tray from the young maid. She seemed positively terrified of him but Faramir offered a soft smile to the girl, trying not to laugh at Haldir’s attempt to be at least somewhat civil. “Do you ever worry some servant will poison you?” Faramir asked in amusement as Haldir returned to set the tray on the table. He got up himself and walked over to look at what had been brought. He couldn’t help teasing Haldir and it took his mind off his own troubles to poke at his lover. He wasn’t really trying to argue, only to tease him. “Have you ever even said the word ‘please’ in your life?”

“Poison me?” Haldir arched an eyebrow as he lifted the lid from each tray and wrinkled his nose at some of the food. “They would not dare. Besides, there wasn’t time to say please… she was awaiting her orders. I was very kind to that little girl though, in case you missed it. I even told her to have a good evening. She seemed a bit… smitten, don’t you think?”

Faramir’s eyebrow rose and he laughed a little. “She was… certainly in awe I’d say,” Faramir settled on and smiled. “And I did see you said thank you and you wished her a good evening… I have to admit I was a little surprised, most of the servants in Rohan got little more than the door closed in their face.” Faramir could remember the day that he had asked for a glass of water and Haldir had frightened the servants in the hall so badly they had thrust no less than five glasses at the Elf. “I think our servants here will grow used to you,” he said not thinking that Haldir would likely be gone before that could happen. He sat down at the table and saw that Haldir eyed the tray again. “I really do not think they would poison you… because… they’d run the risk of poisoning me too,” he teased.

Haldir, thinking that he had been exceptionally kind to the girl, was now worried that she might be quite lovesick over him for the rest of his stay. It happened quite often, even when he wasn’t trying to be kind. Faramir’s words brought a smile his face however, and he picked up a particularly unappetizing piece of wilted fruit, holding it up and inspecting it disdainfully. “Were you unpleasant to them before you left enough so that poisoning might just be an option?” Sadly, he was perfectly serious.

Faramir laughed and shook his head. “Those are just out of season here…” he said though he figured the way Haldir issued ‘orders’ even to servants it was as if he were issuing orders in a battle. It was likely the girl was still so rattled she just grabbed everything she could think of and threw it on a tray. Especially when he saw how it was arranged, sweets on the same plate with cheese and dried meats. “I’ll have a talk with the servants later… seems many things have been amiss here.” He noted that all of the food was dried… nothing fresh and was curious about that.

“I really shouldn’t have been so nice to her,” Haldir sighed, picking up a piece of meat and regarding it wearily. He took a cautious bite from one end, spat it out in a napkin and offered the other portion to Faramir. He’d fed Faramir when the young man was too weak and sick to move, but never like this. “Gods, try this… it is terrible!” Even as he did it, he didn’t recognize the familiarity of the gesture, and continued talking, holding one hand up with the meat close to Faramir’s mouth and the other already picking at the remaining food trying to find something even remotely edible. “By amiss, I assume you mean this is not your usual Gondorian fare?”

Faramir laughed and shook his head as he eyed the food on the table. “I think I’ll take your word for it,” he laughed as he eyed the meat and picked up his glass to sniff at the wine. “Well at least the wine is good,” he grinned but soon sighed as Haldir poked through some of the dishes. Everything seemed… wrong. “This is definitely not normal…” Faramir said eyeing the tray with distaste. “I do not understand, normally our food is quite good, especially this time of year.”

Haldir sniffed at the wine and took a small sip. “I have had worse,” he admitted, then looked seriously at his lover. “Faramir, I think things have gotten much worse than we thought. Perhaps you should talk to your father, or even the council, first thing in the morning. Unless Gandalf has some way to fix this, it looks like you will have to take over Gondor’s day to day business sooner, rather than later.”

Faramir nodded and sighed as he picked at an extremely dry crust of bread. “As much as it pains me to think of doing it, it seems the only choice. Father… he would… normally this would infuriate him. Food of this poor quality, especially served when we have a guest from another realm, it… it just is not something he would stand for. Our cook always took such pride in her work as well so this cannot be of her doing… I’ve had better out on patrol,” he sighed and pushed his plate away deciding that he was not very hungry after all.

Seeing that Faramir was close to getting sad – and emotional – again, Haldir thought he had better distract him in the only manner he knew. He sat down, pulled Faramir into his lap and pressed a kiss against his lips. He had no idea he was doing it, but he was looking at his lover quite fondly. “I suppose I shall have to make do with the sweetness of your mouth,” he said, pretending to be upset about that little fact. “And I warn you – I am quite hungry.”

Faramir was curious when Haldir moved closer to him and pulled him out of his own chair and into the Elf’s lap. He smiled, his surprised gasp lost in his lover’s mouth as he was kissed breathless. When they drew apart again, Faramir was dazzled by both the kiss and the look in Haldir’s eyes. “That is good, because I am famished myself,” he teased in return and leaned forward to press his lips to Haldir’s again. Of course just as he began to sink into the kiss and his mind was taken completely off of any thoughts of food or his father, there was a sharp knock at the door. Faramir fought the desire to roll his eyes and sat back to look at Haldir for a moment. “Someone is at the door,” he said lamely and started to get out of Haldir’s lap but decided whoever was at the door could wait a few more seconds. He leaned in again and kissed his lover once more before pulling away.

Haldir smiled and did all the eye-rolling necessary at the intrusion. “I must admit I am going to miss your kisses when I leave Gondor,” he said softly. “Well, that and a few other things. And I hope you will miss mine as well, truth be told.”

Faramir paused as he slid out of Haldir’s lap and reached out to touch his lover’s cheek gently as he stood before him. “I will miss you very much, Haldir…” he said sadly and turned for the door. It was true, it wasn’t just their kisses it was everything about Haldir, it was him that he would miss. He pushed the thoughts away and opened the door to find Gandalf practically smirking at him. “We were… having… well… trying to have dinner but…”

“But it isn’t fit to eat?” Gandalf finished for him, taking in the fact that both of them looked flushed and both Elven and human lips were red and swollen, so, yet again it seemed he had interrupted the two of them kissing.

Haldir stood, trying to ignore the warmth left behind from Faramir’s fingers as they had brushed over his skin. Maybe his fingers had been coated with some kind of oil, he rationalized, for a simple touch shouldn’t leave such a lasting impression. Making a mental note to ask Faramir later what kind of lotion or oil he’d used that morning, he gave Gandalf a withering look, oblivious to the fact that his normally flawless hair was a bit mussed and his lips were swollen and red. “If you knew there was a problem,” he snapped, “then why did you not tell us? We have been waiting for dinner for an hour, and only when it is delivered we discovered it is inedible?”

Gandalf merely raised an eyebrow at Haldir, after centuries of knowing the Elf he was accustomed to his brash words. “I was not told you were even here until a few moments ago,” he explained simply. “While I do have the gift of sight, I cannot see everywhere at once.”

Faramir walked over and stood next to Haldir as Gandalf entered the room. “The guards said you could explain what has been going on here… with my father. What… what has happened to him, Gandalf? I know Boromir’s death was hard on him but… he did not even recognize me. And… this food? What has been going on?”

The wizard sighed and shook his head. “Gondor is in dire need of a new steward now I fear… when I told your father of Boromir’s death he took it hard… and then when I told him you were injured but yet alive he… he seemed to simply lose touch. He began shouting that he’d lost both his sons that all of Gondor was doomed… I… I could not seem to calm him down no matter how much I stressed that you were on the mend and on your way home.”

Unable to find any quarrel with Gandalf’s explanation, Haldir regarded the old wizard with a frown as he told his story. “Obviously, you have no tact, Gandalf,” he sniffed. “And because of Denethor’s… madness or inability to see the truth or… or whatever it is, there seems to be the heavy burden of overseeing Gondor suddenly thrust on Faramir’s shoulders. He is not completely healed yet, and frankly, I am concerned that the stress will be too much for him.” His eyes moved from Gandalf to Faramir, and softened, if only a bit. “I was ordered to keep you safe, not Gondor. You must not tax yourself, even for your father’s sake.”

Gandalf’s eyes cut from Haldir back to Faramir for a moment and he had a hard time not smiling from what he saw pass between them. That bond he’d seen before in Rohan was stronger now and it was obvious that the Elf cared for the young man. “You are right… this is a heavy burden and had I known just how unstable Denethor had been… I never would have relayed the news of Faramir’s injury. I had no idea… none at all that he would react the way he did. He thinks that Gondor is doomed. The food… that was some decree he passed saying that all foods must be dried, nothing fresh is allowed in case the entire city needed to flee into the mountains. In the rush for the servants to comply the foods have not been properly aged and cured. His orders are madness, the entire city of Minas Tirith cannot possibly flee, it is different than Rohan… normally your father knows this,” Gandalf explained and Faramir frowned.

“Gods…” Faramir sighed and sat down heavily in a chair. “Nothing has helped? You’ve talked to the healers?”

Gandalf shook his head. “Nothing… I had hoped your return would help.”

“My return did nothing but anger him… did you know he tried to attack Haldir? All he did was stare off in the distance and told me that he was waiting for someone very important,” Faramir said sadly.

Gandalf softened then and he moved closer, kneeling down in front of the young man and patting him on the knee. “The important person he is waiting on… is you… he just did not recognize you because he cannot tell what is real and what is not any more. I am sorry, Faramir.”

Haldir felt his heart stop at Gandalf’s words. Gods, of all things, Faramir didn’t need the guilt of thinking that his leaving Gondor against orders had affected his father. He stepped forward and slid one hand down to rest on Faramir’s shoulder, wanting more than anything to make him feel better. “I am sure it was more than that, Faramir,” he said in a tone of voice that seldom had been heard from his lips. “And we have been traveling for quite some time. Perhaps he simply did not recognize you. You have lost weight since your injury, your hair is longer…”

Faramir felt his heart nearly stop in his chest as Gandalf spoke. He was waiting for me. It was enough to bring tears to his eyes once again but he pushed beyond them, taking a deep breath and when he felt Haldir’s hand on his shoulder, he reached up and laced his fingers with the Elf’s. “No… I am not that changed…” he closed his eyes for a moment and then looked up at his former tutor. “Gandalf, what do I do? I have always followed my visions before and this one… seems to have turned not only my own world upside down but others as well… if I had not gone, if I had only listened to him…”

“Stop that,” Gandalf chided gently. “This is not your fault… nor the fault of your visions. What has happened has happened, it cannot be changed now but you must take over running the city, and… perhaps in time your father will come around… he is still grieving, Faramir. He loved Boromir a great deal and he loves you too… he’ll come around,” Gandalf stood then and looked at the pair. “I am glad you are here, Haldir… Faramir will need all the friends he can get right now.”

Grateful that Gandalf was at least being understanding, Haldir pulled his surprised gaze away from Faramir’s fingers that were entwined with his own so unexpectedly. As he looked up at the wizard, however, he remembered Faramir introducing him to Emil as his friend. So… not only was he standing here with his fingers interlocked, but he was being called Faramir’s friend. The thought was frightening, to say the least, because he’d already made it plain that he didn’t have friendships, nor did he want any. Still… he couldn’t just walk away from his duty to protect him, not now anyway. “I was ordered to be here, Gandalf, by Celeborn himself. It was not friendship that brought me here.” He couldn’t help but wonder, however, if it were friendship that had made him stay. After all, he had delivered Faramir to Gondor safely as ordered… yet he was still here, and planning on staying a bit longer. What exactly did that mean for the two of them? Or for his no-friends policy?

Faramir looked up at Haldir just behind him. He was more than merely a friend. “You were not ordered to stay though… but I am grateful you have,” Faramir said softly and wondered just exactly what Haldir was to him, his lover, his companion, his friend, yes but so much more than that. He loved him so much already that it was frightening to even think of Haldir leaving to go die on some horrific battlefield.

Gandalf could see something pass between the two and decided it was time for him to leave. “I think your first order of business tomorrow will be to meet with the council and… if you want to eat decent food ever again you’ll repeal that blasted decree… I am almost out of rations and I have a very unhappy hobbit staying with me,” he warned. “Good evening to you both.” With that, the wizard was gone.

It was his fault for everything, he had sent his father deeper into madness, he had saved Haldir against his wishes… what more could he do wrong? “I am so sorry I dragged you into all of this Haldir… you already wished I had not interfered and now…” Faramir whispered, feeling defeated.

Haldir shook his head and allowed himself a moment of indulgence, letting his thumb run over the back of Faramir’s fingers. “You could not have known,” he said softly. “You were following your heart, and despite what I might or might not wish my fate had been, I cannot fault you for doing what you felt you had to do.” Moving around to stand in front of his lover, the Elf gently pulled Faramir to his feet and untangled their fingers to let his hand move slowly down to rest on his hip. “We can still fix this… perhaps your father just needs some time. In the meanwhile, you concentrate on your people and your duties, and I will assist you in any way I can… and hopefully we can figure out what happened while you were gone. I cannot believe that your leaving has caused him to deteriorate to this degree.”

Faramir was still upset about everything he’d found out but despite it all when Haldir touched him and looked at him that way, it seemed everything was just a little less dark. He knew it was just that Haldir enjoyed his company, there were no true feelings at least on the Elf’s side but Faramir thought perhaps it was just the fact he was in love with Haldir that made him feel this way? The only thing Faramir really knew was that he was growing to count on the friendship they had and he was grateful that Haldir had decided to at least stay until this was settled with his father. “Thank you, Haldir… thank you for staying, but I fear you are wrong about my fault in this… I knew my father was… unstable before I left… I’ll never know if I could have prevented this, had things happened differently.”

The look in Faramir’s eyes made Haldir’s heart feel heavy. This Ranger who had appeared out of nowhere and saved him had so many burdens on his shoulders, he was surprised Faramir could still smile now and then. But it seemed that no matter what he faced, he never lost the smile on his sweet lips or the sparkle in his eyes that Haldir, had he been a different type of Elf, would have enjoyed exploring a bit more. His hand moved up to rest on the back of his lover’s neck, tilting Faramir’s head up until their gazes met. “Lord Celeborn, for whatever reason, believes you to have a purpose, Faramir. I think the dreams might be a part of that – I think they led you to Helm’s Deep for a reason. Just because we do not know what that reason is yet, I cannot help but believe you were supposed to be there, were supposed to do or see or say something. You may have changed someone’s life without even knowing it. If that contributed to your father’s illness, then perhaps that was meant to be as well. The Valar do not always do things that make sense to us, you know. We just have to accept what has happened and move forward. You have to do that… for your people, for your father and for your brother. You are strong – stronger than any Man I have ever known, so I have no doubt that you can do this.”

Looking into those eyes always made Faramir’s heart feel lighter and he sighed softly. “I do not feel particularly strong today,” he whispered and wrapped his arms around Haldir resting his head against his shoulder. “But I feel stronger when you are near,” he admitted softly, his fingers curling into Haldir’s tunic. Haldir might be right and everything happened the way the Valar saw fit, but it still was a hard thing to accept. Maybe Haldir and Gandalf were right? Maybe, given time, his father would improve? “Gods, there is so much to do in the morning,” he whispered and then looked up at Haldir. He was torn, as much as he wanted to be able to go back in time and fix everything, he would not change the fact that he’d met and fallen in love with Haldir.

Despite himself, Haldir thought he would never stop marveling at how well Faramir fit in his arms. They stood together for long moments, and the golden Elf couldn’t help but smile when Faramir looked up at him. He was still incredibly handsome, but first the injury, then the trip, and now the news of his father had certainly taken its toll on the young Ranger. Exhaustion was etched into the few small lines on his face and he looked tired and confused about… something. “Aye, there is much to do tomorrow,” he said softly, “but tonight, we should get some rest. I suppose you will be happy to get back to your own bed, but for now at least, I think you must try and force yourself to get comfortable in mine… unless, of course, you feel you might like the privilege of having me with you for as long as I am here…” His voice trailed off, and he wasn’t about to admit how much he dreaded the thought of sleeping alone in this strange, cold room without Faramir, but it did make him uneasy. He didn’t want to let Faramir know that, of course, but they were lovers, and if Faramir wanted to spend the rest of their time together in the same bed, then Haldir would happily agree. He wasn’t about to invite himself to Faramir’s room, however, just in case Faramir wanted to sleep alone for a change… the rejection would simply be too humiliating for the proud Elf.

Despite his slight depression, Faramir smiled when Haldir said ‘privilege’ and nodded. “I would very much like you to stay and share a bed with me if not more,” he offered a little grin then and took a deep breath. “It may even help me forget everything for a time, you know how I can hardly remember my name when you kiss me,” he admitted and let his fingers wander underneath Haldir’s tunic to touch smooth, perfect skin. “And since I had the bathing chamber earlier, I suppose it is your turn… if you like you can get cleaned up and I’ll dig through our packs and see if there is something more… appealing than what food we were brought? We may still have some of those berries we picked in the woods yesterday at least.”

“Mmmm,” Haldir murmured, licking at Faramir’s lips and closing his eyes. “Berries sound nice. Especially if I can eat them from your lips and all sorts of other interesting places…” He gently tugged his lover’s bottom lip with his teeth and then released him, backing toward the bathing chambers. “I would kiss you again, but since my kisses make you forget your name, I am afraid you might forget the berries if I do” With a wicked, arrogant, and totally Haldir-like smirk, the Elf disappeared behind the door, ready for a quick bath and a long night’s sleep with Faramir snuggled up against him.

Faramir found himself grinning at Haldir as he backed away, thinking the Elf was entirely too sure of himself… but with good reason. Haldir was probably right about forgetting the berries… and anything else for that matter. Once Haldir left the room, Faramir went to their packs and found the berries and a small amount of dried venison they’d brought with them from Helms Deep. He went to the table and grabbed one of the plates that had been brought and dumped the hard bread off it. He put their meager meal on it and then grabbed the bottle of wine and their two goblets as he went to the bathing chamber. “May I come in?”

Haldir was leaning back against the smooth curve of the tub, eyes closed, immersed up to his neck in warm, scented water. He’d been thinking of all that had happened, all they’d learned, and was trying to imagine what Faramir’s purpose in Helm’s Deep could possibly have been. As usual, however, thoughts of the Ranger had aroused him. He smiled as the very person he’d been thinking of requested entry. “Of course,” he said, sitting up a bit and trying to bite back a smile. “You could not bear to be in another room, knowing I was naked, could you?” He was teasing, but over the years, no one ever knew when he was serious and when he was making a bit of fun of himself… and since he’d never let anyone close enough to figure out the difference, he’d been thought of as even more arrogant than he was – which suited him just fine.

Faramir laughed as he pushed open the door. “Aye, it was killing me,” he teased in return as he walked in and then felt his mouth grow dry. He could not see below the water but he knew that body that was stretched out beneath it. “I brought wine, berries and what was left of our venison,” he said sitting down on the wide edge of the large tub. If there were material things he missed about his home, this was probably one of them. He handed the glass of wine to Haldir and smiled before taking a drink of his own.

The wine glass was accepted gratefully. Haldir, never one to stand on ceremony, drank it down in one sip, then set it aside, eyeing the gap in Faramir’s robe as he sat down on the edge of the tub. One hand, soft, wet and glistening with oils from the bath, lifted to touch his lover’s thigh, tracing the edge of the robe, teasing the long “V” of exposed skin. “Delicious,” he murmured, clearly not referring to the wine. His eyes were dark, and he suddenly didn’t feel all that hungry for food anymore. “Of course, a small taste like that only makes me want more.”

Faramir’s eyebrow rose as Haldir emptied his glass so quickly and set his own aside, next to the plate, which was probably a good thing because he startled just a little when wet fingers traced along his skin. His mouth was suddenly dry as if he hadn’t just taken a drink of wine and his stomach fluttered in anticipation. Haldir’s touch, no matter how often or how much the Elf touched him, sent Faramir’s senses reeling. He had wondered weeks ago if that would change and so far it had not, in fact the sensation seemed even stronger than before. “Mmm, I would be a poor host if I left you wanting for more wouldn’t you agree?” Faramir whispered. Haldir’s eyes seemed to swallow him whole, Gods, no one had ever looked at him the way the Elf did. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on Faramir’s part but there was no doubt in his mind that Haldir truly did desire him at the very least. His hands rose to his robe and he pushed it down his shoulders and then stood letting it drop to the floor. “Do you think there is room enough in there for me as well?”

Haldir sat up a bit straighter, licking his lips as Faramir’s robe dropped to the floor. Gods, Faramir, you are beautiful. Vaguely, he thought that one day he should say the words, rather than simply think them… except for the fact that he felt certain they would sound odd coming from him of all creatures. “Well,” he managed, already reaching out and sliding his hand between his lover’s thighs, cupping one gently. “I think we might just have to sit very, very close, but we can manage…”

Faramir shivered when Haldir’s hand moved over his skin. Carefully, Faramir climbed into the tub, lowering himself until he straddled Haldir’s thighs. “Is this close enough?” he asked teasingly as his hands roamed down his lover’s chest, disappearing under the warm water and rising back out again. He leaned forward; gasping when his arousal pressed against Haldir’s and his lips brushed the soft ones before him. “Or perhaps this?”

Moaning as Faramir’s flesh created delicious friction against his own, Haldir’s arms naturally opened to embrace this man who had barged into his life and created total chaos… and whom he was beginning to think his passion and desire for would never come to an end. “I think this will work perfectly,” he murmured, turning so that he rested on his side next to Faramir. “Let’s see if you are still ready for me…” With that, he insinuated his hand further up between pale thighs, pushing them apart, and explored the cleft of Faramir’s backside. Just as his fingertips found the opening they sought, his lips captured his lover’s in a deep kiss. Fingers already slick with bath oil slowly pushed their way past tight muscles, working their way deep inside Faramir’s passage, and Haldir’s free arm cradled his neck, holding him tenderly, protecting his neck and head from the hard edge of the tub without even realizing it. “Aye,” he murmured, pulling back from the kiss and working his fingers in even deeper. “I think you are most definitely still ready…”

Faramir’s body arched against Haldir’s as a slick hand explored beneath the water and he smiled at the way that a strong arm cradled his head. If the Elf did not care at least a little bit he would have no reason to offer Faramir comfort, he would not have held his hand and offered support earlier… he would not be so careful with him, he would just take what he wanted, wouldn’t he? Faramir felt his heart swell in his chest, a hope lighting there that helped to chase away the darkness he felt earlier. His hips moved as slick fingers delved inside and he smiled. “Very much so,” he murmured in answer. A part of him thought perhaps he just needed this, needed to forget everything and enjoy the physical connection to Haldir to drive way the pain in his heart, but it was not entirely that. Faramir wanted to give of himself as much as he wanted the pain driven away… that in itself was what made all the difference in the world. I love you, Haldir. He bit his lip against the words but could not help thinking them, especially when the golden Elf looked at him the way he did now.

Haldir could feel his cock twitching and leaking into the warmth of the water around them. With a final twist, he pulled his fingers away and easily lifted his lover’s body up, sliding his own beneath him. His arousal was trapped between them, and he couldn’t resist arching his hips up a bit, grinding the aching length against Faramir’s backside. “I want you so much I can barely think,” he murmured, moving so that dark hair rested against his shoulder and he was fully supporting Faramir’s body with his own. His hands were slick as they moved over pale, perfect skin, and he had only to turn his head to the side to steal a few more kisses, which he did gladly. Without breaking the kiss, he reached between them, lifted Faramir’s hips up just a bit, and positioned himself against his lover’s entrance. When the tip was just inside, he slowly pressed down on the curve of Faramir’s hips, impaling him completely, inch by inch, moaning again as tight muscles moved over his swollen shaft. “By the Valar, you are always so tight,” he managed, pulling away from the kiss to breathe and fastening his mouth on Faramir’s shoulder as he did so.

The feeling of Haldir’s hard length against his backside made Faramir squirm, wanting to feel his lover inside him. Their bodies always seemed to fit together so perfectly that it was hard to imagine ever having been with anyone else. When his lips were captured, Faramir kissed his lover back with abandon. He loved the way Haldir tasted, the rich sweet flavor of the wine with a much more exotic flavor that was Haldir alone and which Faramir quite simply craved night and day it seemed. He moaned when his was lifted and slowly impaled, his body taking his lover in slowly, molding around the hard shaft as if they had been made for each other. His head fell back against Haldir’s shoulder as he moaned softly, his body adjusting to the intrusion. He felt… complete somehow whenever he was with Haldir this way. He would never say aloud that it was making love, his fear of Haldir scoffing at him, holding him back but to Faramir that was exactly what they shared. His hips began to rock slowly as his body opened to his lover. “Gods… I love yo… how you feel inside me,” he whispered, shivering when he realized what he almost said.

So lost in the wave of desire that seemed to surround him, Haldir didn’t consciously hear the near-slip, but it did register somewhere in the back of his mind, to be sorted out later. His conscious mind, however, ignored it, as he marked Faramir’s neck and shoulders, not even thinking of how much the marks would stand out the next day as Faramir took over the running of Gondor. His hands moved over a flat stomach, broad chest, and back down again and again, half-embracing, half caressing, always pulling his lover closer and working his way in deeper, as if marking him on both the inside and out. “As do I,” he murmured as he rolled his hips, thrusting up as Faramir rocked against him. “You always feel so amazing… every perfect part of you…”

Faramir could feel his skin tingle where Haldir’s mouth worked at his neck and shoulders and he smiled not caring who saw the marks in the morning. He knew Gandalf would give him knowing looks should he encounter the wizard and thought that it was cool enough weather that he could always wear something with a high neck if the marks proved distracting to anyone other than himself. Haldir shifted under him, thrusting up as he rocked back against his lover and every thought of tunics or marks on his neck or nosey wizards fled his mind. White lights danced before his eyes as his lover hit against that spot inside him and he shuddered as Haldir spoke against his neck. Haldir rarely paid compliments of any sort to anyone and his words made Faramir’s heart flutter in his chest.

Water was sloshing out the sides of the tub, but neither Man nor Elf noticed. All Haldir could think about was how Faramir’s muscles were scraping over his sensitive skin, how the warm and pliant inner muscles molded around his cock, clenching and releasing each time he thrust up, then pulled away. He stopped caressing long enough to tease a nipple here or there, driving them both to distraction, and somehow managed to keep them both on the very edge without going over for long, exquisite moments. Finally, when he knew he couldn’t last much longer, Haldir wrapped one arm around his lover’s chest, holding him tight against him, and let his other hand slide down to wrap around Faramir’s length. He continued thrusting, slowly and deeply as his fingers worked the thick organ in his fist. The only noises he seemed to be capable of making at the time were of low, helpless moans and the whispers of Faramir’s name over and over as he kissed his way back up to the sweetest mouth he’d ever known and renewed their kiss.

Faramir was completely lost in their lovemaking, his heart was hammering in his chest, his body was thrumming with desire and it seemed Haldir’s every touch made him shiver. As their passion built, so did the speed of their movements and the amount of water splashing out of the deep tub, but neither of them seemed to notice or care. One arm lifted so that his hand could sink into the hair at the base of Haldir’s skull and when their lips met again, Faramir moaned against full lips as his own arousal was trapped in a firm, strong hand. He was whimpering as his body rocked back and forth against Haldir’s and their kiss dragged out until the young man was completely breathless. In his heart, Faramir wished that it would always be this way, that Haldir would always stay… he could never tell him of course, but he could wish. When his lover thrust deep one more time, Faramir was so close to the edge that he cried out as his sex jerked in Haldir’s hand and slick fluid spilled into the now lukewarm bathwater.

A thin wisp of air that looked like a tiny silver thread sparked for a brief moment, but both Haldir and Faramir had their eyes closed, and neither saw it. As the organ in his hand swelled and then jerked, Haldir moaned softly against his lover’s neck. With one final thrust, he felt his own cock pulse deep inside the shuddering passage, coating Faramir’s inner muscles with his release as his cries echoed in the small bathing chamber and then died away just as his own trembling muscles began to relax. Normally, he closed up and pulled away after these encounters, his only concession kissing or allowing Faramir to snuggle up next to him, but this time, he was too warm and relaxed to even release the man in his arms. “Gods, Faramir,” he murmured, pressing one final kiss against warm skin. “I think we shall have to bathe here quite often. As in… every night, and quite possibly every morning, and maybe even after lunch…”

The feeling of Haldir exploding inside him made Faramir’s release last even longer and when he finally seemed to come back to himself, he was smiling as he rested against his lover. He felt warm despite the cooling water and loved that Haldir was still holding him close. He laughed when his lover spoke and he turned slightly to look up into sparkling blue eyes. “Aye… we may just be the two cleanest beings in Gondor in the coming days,” he teased in return. It felt wonderful being held this way but he knew that the water would only grow colder. Slowly he slid away from his lover and moved to look at Haldir. “The water is starting to get cold… maybe we can take our berries out in front of the fire and enjoy them there?”

Startled at himself as he thought that his arms felt empty when Faramir moved away, it took Haldir a moment to respond. This is ridiculous! You are practically drooling all over him… where is your dignity? His face was perfectly neutral as he nodded and stood, then stepped out of the bath. “Aye… we will be clean but cold,” he agreed, drying himself off and not even offering to help Faramir out of the tub. You’ve pawed at him enough… leave the man alone. “I will meet you in front of the fire, then. Do not forget the berries.” With that, he disappeared from the room wondering what on all of Arda could have possessed him to loose control in such a manner, and vowing never to let it happen again.

Faramir was uncertain what was wrong when Haldir almost suddenly fled the room and he stood there for a moment before he got a towel and wrapped it around himself. The robe he’d left in the floor earlier was soaked, so he simply left it and picked up their dinner to take to the other room. Haldir was not accustomed to even staying after having sex with someone, even after all these weeks and Faramir merely sighed. It is not likely he will ever grow accustomed to it either. You are fooling yourself if you think your love for him will ever be returned. He is a good Elf, honor is the reason he stays… perhaps the sex a little. But Faramir doubted sex alone would hold Haldir there with him forever. Not letting his thoughts make him even more maudlin than he was earlier he pushed them away and walked out to the other room and stopped beside Haldir offering him the empty wine glasses before he started to sit down.

Haldir took the glasses and waited for Faramir to sit, then began to pick at the berries and meat. His mood had turned rather dark as he realized how… emotional he had almost gotten with Faramir, and he was thoroughly disgusted with himself. “We should hurry and get some sleep,” he said, staring into the fire and not even looking at his lover. “Tomorrow will be a long day. And you need to decide how I can best help – by trying to find out what happened to your father or by going to his offices with you and doing whatever needs to be done there. The sooner we get started on this, the sooner everything will be resolved.”

It seemed something had changed from their time in the tub to now and Faramir wasn’t sure exactly what it was. “You are probably right,” he said taking one of the berries but merely holding it and not eating it yet. “I could use your help going through some of the paperwork I am uncertain how many decrees like this ridiculous food one were made… and… and I am going to have to ride out to face my men as well and explain why I cannot return to lead them. I will need to promote one of them to captain,” he said almost wistfully. He did not want to be the steward he wished to simply be a ranger as he always had been. Faramir tried not to think on why Haldir wanted everything resolved ‘sooner’ and finally ate the berry he had bruised so badly between his fingers.

Business as usual… this was Haldir’s comfort zone. He relaxed almost immediately and began to eat in earnest, the trip, the news from Gandalf, and their… activities in the bathing chambers all combining to make him ravenous and rather sleepy. “I will be happy to help,” he nodded, easing back into his more formal and usual self. “Would you like me to accompany you to speak with your men?”

“That is up to you,” Faramir offered a small smile then. “I do not mind if you come with me… I suppose it will depend on what happens tomorrow though,” Faramir said softly. In truth he would love for Haldir to meet his men and friends but… Haldir had proven that he wasn’t exactly keen on meeting strangers especially men who would likely hug or pat Faramir on the back. He doubted the Elf ever in his life hugged one of his archers or wardens. “Would you really like to meet my rangers or are you just trying to be nice for my sake?”

Haldir arched an eyebrow in frank amusement at the question, but answered honestly. “Oh, I am merely trying to be nice,” he shrugged, “though I might be of help if I saw your Rangers in their element. I could give them a few pointers if you happen to have a spare bow or two – that might help out quite a bit…”

Faramir found himself grinning when Haldir answered his question. “Well… you did a nice job of it, for a moment I almost believed you really did want to meet them,” he teased and leaned back on one hand. “I think that anyone and everyone has room to learn from someone else though, there is no questioning that Elves are the best archers on Arda, we use much different bows though… long bows, I would love to see everyone train on the smaller Elven style bows,” he answered seriously. “They are more convenient in a tight battle and much less unwieldy on horseback.” Faramir stretched one leg out and stared into the fire for a moment. “Thank you for offering to help, Haldir… all of it.”

With a shrug, Haldir gathered a handful of berries and stood, then made his way to the bed. He wasn’t exactly sure why he was staying, or offering to help, so he was unsure of how to respond. He couldn’t say that Celeborn had ordered him to stay and help, and he couldn’t explain why it bothered him for Faramir to be so upset or burdened, but he had to admit, if only to himself, that it did. “You… are welcome,” he managed a bit gruffly, slipping out of the robe he’d put on before he’d sat by the fireplace and sliding into bed. “I… you… yes.” His words trailed off as he thought the bed was exceptionally cold, but wasn’t about to ask Faramir to join him. He can lie down here when and if he wants to. It’s not like I care anyway, since we have already made… had sex tonight… “Yes… Good night, Faramir. Sleep well.”

Faramir stood as well, setting everything back on the table and walked over to the bed. “You really must be tired,” he said smiling just a little as he walked around the bed to the other side. He dropped the damp towel on the floor and crawled into the bed. Faramir had missed being able to sleep completely naked against Haldir’s body while they traveled so he took the opportunity now to snuggle close to him. “It is still a little chilly in here,” he said in excuse as he snuggled up against Haldir. He leaned up a little and looked at the somewhat perplexed looking Elf. “Sweet dreams, Haldir,” he whispered and pressed a quick almost chaste kiss against Haldir’s lips.

Confused as always when Faramir gave so much without asking for anything in return except Haldir’s warmth and embrace, the Elf gazed down at his lover and sighed. “You would freeze to death were it not for me, I think,” he muttered. No matter what, he couldn’t deny that he enjoyed feeling Faramir’s naked body against him… it wasn’t something he’d known with anyone else, not even another Elf, though he imagined that no Elf could possibly fit against him so well. He shifted on the bed and drew Faramir closer against him. “Very well. If you are cold…” With that, he tugged the blanket up over their shoulders and yawned. “Think of good things, Faramir. I do not want to have to dry your tears again.” The words came out a bit rougher than he’d meant for them too – he didn’t want Faramir to cry, but not just for the reason he stated.

Faramir laughed softly when Haldir complained that he would freeze without him. “Likely so,” he conceded with a grin. He loved that Haldir pulled him closer though, his words always so at odds with his actions. Just about to snuggle down under the covers, Faramir heard the next words and frowned at the gruff way Haldir spoke of his tears. A part of him wanted to say something biting back, almost a knee jerk reaction but he realized that Haldir merely did not know how to handle tears. Faramir, after thinking a few moments decided there would never be a reason that Haldir would ever cry or to show too much emotion. He rarely laughed, when he did it was a wonderful thing to hear and his smile was radiant but he did so rarely do either that Faramir wondered if others who knew Haldir might actually be surprised that Faramir had made the Elf laugh… more than once in fact. He fell asleep thinking about Haldir’s laughter and it seemed to help sooth his dreams.

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