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Death Long Suffered (NC-17) Print

Written by Alcardilmë

09 December 2009 | 33441 words

Chapter Fourteen – Gifts Discarded

“Do you still need the stave, Faramir?” The larks outside the Houses’ window were calling to each other as a light spring rain fell.

“I suppose not,” Faramir said, but Boromir noted a small swallow accompanied his reply and a slight sweat broke upon his brother’s brow. “

“There is naught wrong with using it.”

“I think it would do harm to my horse,” Faramir smiled. “It would probably trip Gabere and we would both fall.”

Boromir smiled. “We are not going to ride that far.”

“As I have been of late, we could fall as soon as the poor thing took her first step.”

“Faramir. You have done well. I will not listen to you condemn yourself. Now, come along. I am hoping the rain will soon stop.”

They walked slowly towards the errand-riders’ stables by the Sixth Gate. Mablung walked behind them. Faramir relished the feel of the light drops upon his head and shared the joy with Boromir, noting he did not mind a twig if it rained or no; he wanted to ride.

Light whinnies greeted them as they entered the stable. Boromir watched closely, hoping Faramir did not trip over the straw that covered the muddied floor.

“Gabere has missed you. See, she can hardly contain herself.”

Faramir thought his horse died in the attack that ended in his captivity, but only a week before, Boromir suggested they go riding and that is when Faramir discovered his beloved mare yet lived. His horse stamped her foot and shook in eager anticipation of his touch. “She looks fat.”

Boromir laughed. “She is. She has received too many sweets from your men. They miss you.”

“Then I best learn to ride again so I might return to their company.” He reached for the halter, but a stable hand ran forward and took it from him.

“Allow me, Lieutenant.” He quickly prepared Gabere, blanket, bridles, saddle and such, then handed the reins to Faramir. Boromir and Mablung’s horses were already saddled.

They rode out into the misting rain and a cheer went up from about fifty soldiers standing nearby. Faramir’s face flamed in acute embarrassment. “Did you?”

“I did not. Perhaps Mablung?”

Faramir turned an accusatory eye upon his friend, but Mablung held his hands up in mock surprise. Faramir laughed, turned to the men and raised his left hand in salute. It was quickly and smartly returned.

Boromir’s grin covered his face. ‘I wish Father were here to see this.’

They rode from one end of the Sixth Circle to the other, then turned through the gate and rode along the Fifth Circle. Now and again, Faramir heard his name called in greeting, and men on guard duty on the walls of Minas Tirith cried out their warm encouragement to the Steward’s son. Faramir acknowledged them with a wave of his hand.

Boromir’s heart lodged in his throat most times, unsure of the strength of his brother’s thighs to keep him ahorse, but the ride passed with no mishaps, and Boromir finally called for them to return to the stable.

By the time they arrived, Faramir’s face glistened with sweat. His hand shook as he tried to hand the bridle to the stable hand.

Boromir took his arm to help him alight. “Sit here for a moment.” He called and another servant brought water for the three of them.

“I should groom her before we leave.”

“All in good time. There are others today who will care for our horses. Now, it is our task to get you back to the Houses before you fall flat on your face.”

“Is my weakness that apparent?”

“Perhaps not to others, but it is to me. Take a few moments to recover your strength. Then we will walk very slowly back to your room and the daymeal.”

Boromir watched his brother closely, and when he noted that the shaking of Faramir’s hands had stopped, moved to help him stand.

“I can do it myself, Boromir.”

Boromir held his hands up in mock surrender.

Looking about, he could not find his stave. “Boromir?”

“I threw it away.”

“But – it was a gift from Uncle Imrahil.”

“And it was a gift that was given with the sole purpose of being thrown away when no longer needed.”

Taking a deep breath, Faramir nodded and stood, swaying just a bit. “I am ready.”

They walked to the Houses; Damrod relieved Mablung as they entered Faramir’s room. Siriondil stood inside waiting.

Faramir moaned. “Can I not have one moment without being poked or prodded?”

The Master Healer said not a word, gently guiding Faramir to his bed. He did a quick examination and then stood back. “Very well done, my Lord. Very well done indeed. And I see you walked all that way without the stave. I am impressed.”

Boromir stifled his laughter.

Siriondil noted it and smiled at Boromir; the healer left shortly thereafter.

“Well, little brother. It seems you have passed another test.”

“I am dead tired.” Faramir sighed. “My legs shake.”

“And well they should. We rode nigh unto an hour. Then the walk here and back again. Well done.”

“Damrod,” Faramir sat on the bed and relaxed. “Would you leave us for a few moments?”

“Nay—” Boromir stepped forward.

“Damrod,” Faramir voice became serious. “Please leave us.”

Damrod looked at Boromir who nodded. “I will return with your meal. In roughly half an hour?”

Boromir opened the door and Damrod left them. The intensely emotional pride he felt for his brother constricted his throat; he became afraid as his heart leapt in shame… and his groin surged. His little brother looked glorious; his sweat-dampened body shone.

“Please sit here, Boromir.” Faramir motioned to the spot next to him.

Instead of sitting, Boromir walked to the window.

“Boromir? Please.” Pain laced the words and Boromir bowed his head in surrender. He walked slowly to his brother’s bed and sat.

“I do not understand what has happened between us, but if you refuse to share it, then I will not press. But Boromir, I have to know one thing. Did you resign?”

The Steward’s eldest looked up in surprise. “I…”

“Do not lie to me.”

“Yes. Well, it might seem that way, but it is only for a time. I will ask Father for my commission back, once you are healed.”

Faramir held his hand to his nose, pinching it between his thumb and finger to keep tears from falling. “I cannot thank you enough. Father must be furious.”

Boromir’s sharp laugh echoed in the room.

“So I am the cause of your estrangement.”

“No, Faramir. It was my choice.

“He does not believe I will heal, does he? Will he even let me return to duty?”

“He will,” Boromir circumvented the first question. “Once you show him that you can wield a sword and ride, he will come to terms with it. There is no reason for your injuries to keep you from serving Gondor as a soldier.” He smiled. “We have too much need for soldiers.”

Faramir smiled in return, then sighed. “I do not think he will let me return.”

“Then Uncle Imrahil will take you into Dol Amroth’s army. He has already said as much.”

“He has?”

Boromir smiled at the note of hope in his brother’s voice. “He has a position at the garrison at Linhir ready for you.”

“Linhir. A good garrison.”

“It is. There will be no shortage of sorties and such against the enemy. You should enjoy yourself thoroughly.”

Faramir smiled and leaned against his brother. “I would have died, I think, if not for you.”

“And Siriondil and Damrod and Mablung. Father too, in his own way.” Boromir looked down with affection, simple brotherly affection, and smiled to see Faramir asleep. He laid him gently down and pulled his boots off. He covered him and walked again to the window. Looking out, he smiled. ‘Life is good, little brother.’

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43 Comment(s)

An interesting start to the story. Poor Faramir! I look forward to the next installment.

— Ria    Friday 24 July 2009, 2:40    #

Saw this started on Henneth-Annun, and hoped it would come here as well. A very difficult topic, and you are handling it with great care!

— ebbingnight    Friday 24 July 2009, 23:45    #

Many thaks Ria and ebbingnight for reading. I hope you enjoy this. It is a bitter-sweet little tale. Alcardilme

Alcardilmë    Monday 3 August 2009, 20:57    #

I have not been to this site for quite some time now. I havn’t had time but I have missed it. I found some free time today and I sat down to see if there were any new stories, and I found yours. I once made a promice that I would never again read a WIP that wasn’t finnished. I will never be so foolish ever again, I can’t belive that I almost missed this. Now here I am with my heart in my throat just waiting for a new chapter. I love this story. The way you are jumping between time is so skillful, it’s just perfect. The subject is indeed a hard one but the way you are dealing with it is remarkable.
Thank you for letting us read this story. I am hooked.
Thank you

— Ingrid    Wednesday 5 August 2009, 10:06    #

Many thanks, Ingrid. For your hearts ease, this tale is complete; (I have felt the same way abouts WIPs – which made me vow never to start a tale and not finish it!) I am just putting it up chapter by chapter… trying to put up one every 4-6 days. I hope I sustain your interest and delight! You really help a writer feel good.

Alcardilmë    Wednesday 5 August 2009, 13:26    #

My heart be still!
You really do know how too keep a girl in suspence. I just love it. It’s so perfect and the way that you write sends shivers down my spine, in a most delightful way, I am a lover of a beautiful language and yours… I can’t even find a word to do it justice.
How i wished that I could write like you but sadly that is a talant I am denied. Lucky for me I can always come here and read it over and over again and it will always be here.
Thank you again

— Ingrid    Sunday 9 August 2009, 21:00    #

blushes Thank you very much. Even after all these years of writing, it still tickles my heart to be so kindly applauded. Again, 10,000 thanks!

— Alcardilmë    Monday 10 August 2009, 0:24    #

Yes!! One more chapter.
I am so glad that Faramir is awake but I fear for him as he in time comes will remeber or find out what has happened to him, how will he cope with that? What a sweet song Boromir sang to him, you have really captured the love between them in a beautiful way. I hope that Boromir can help his ‘little one’. Boromir reminds me so much about my own big brother, so I can’t help but love him.
I am thankfull that Denethor is not a brutal monster but that he actually care about both his sons. It is sad though, that it would have to come to such a terrible thing like this for Denethor to show some love and concern for his youngest.
Can hardly wait for the following chapters.
Hugs

— Ingrid    Friday 14 August 2009, 21:51    #

Thank you so much! The way that Tolkien describes B & F’s love for each other in the Appendix is so beautiful and poignant – especially considering what happens in their lives. (the song is one I made up and sang to my own children; they now sing it to theirs!)

As for Denethor – it would be rare indeed for me to ever ‘abuse’ the man. I thought he was a tragic hero in LotR.

Bless you for your kind words and your enthusiasm. MOST appreciated!

Alcardilmë    Saturday 15 August 2009, 3:43    #

(Whispers between tears) Thank you so much.
Lovely and beautiful is not enough for such a story.

— Ingrid    Wednesday 19 August 2009, 12:07    #

Ah, Ingrid – offers a clean hanky – sorry for the tears, but I’m glad they were ‘happy’ tears… or perhaps contented tears. Bless you!

Alcardilmë    Thursday 20 August 2009, 2:40    #

You are so talented. The way you write, it feels like I am almost there, like I am a spirit standing beside and can do nothing but witness the horrors.
You are a genious, a creator, a wounder.
I wish that my first language was english so that I could realy tell you what my heart speaks

— Ingrid    Saturday 29 August 2009, 10:19    #

Your heart speaks through your words and mine is forever toched.

Bless you for the very kind review. I am grateful beyond words!

Alcardilmë    Sunday 30 August 2009, 21:02    #

I feel blessed for being able and allowed to read this. The story is so wonderful, I will never be able to thank you or praise you enough. Everything just gets better and better. Poor Boromir, trying so hard to do what he think is best for Faramir, and poor Faramir who can’t understand why his beloved brother has changed so much. I have said it before and I say it again, I wished that I had your talent for writing.

—    Wednesday 9 September 2009, 14:28    #

I cannot thank you enough for this review. I just got totally, soundly, and horrendously rejected for my tale, Betrayed, at Henneth Annun.

So the timeliness of your kind words are as a soothing balm upon my dispirited and distraught soul.

Thank you – ten thousand times!!!!

Alcardilmë    Wednesday 9 September 2009, 23:01    #

I apologize that this is the first time I have left a note on this. Quite frankly early on when I saw what happened to our poor Faramir, I wasn’t sure my heart could take it and I had decided not to submerge myself. That being said, I have to tell you that I just couldnt help myself. This tale is just so wonderfully woven that I just cant let it go. I keep coming back again and again hoping our Faramir will be whole again. I have a great visual in my head of the happenings here and it keeps calling me back. Thank you for this. Based on what I see here I find it difficult to see anyone rejecting your material. Is this story on this site somewhere? Can we read it?

— Kelly    Wednesday 9 September 2009, 23:52    #

Like Kelly, I was rather wary of getting involved with the characters in this tale. I first saw it on HASA. The rape and torture of dear Faramir are quite difficult for me to endure. (I must admit to reading those parts quite quickly, with one eye closed!) The rest of the story, however, is so skillfully told and the love between the brothers is so achingly beautiful that it touches my heart.

— trixie    Thursday 10 September 2009, 0:55    #

Thanks so much, Kelly, for your review. It is beautiful. This came out of a nightmare I had; I could not sleep afterwards until I had written it down. Then, the Muse just continued – bless her! It turned into a bitter-sweet little thing that breaks my heart.

Very glad you pushed through that first chapter. It is difficult.

My other tale is posted here http://www.faramirfiction.com/Fiction/betrayed

Blessings,
Alcardilme

Alcardilmë    Thursday 10 September 2009, 10:50    #

Ah, trixie, I wrote that first chapter with my eyes closed. I hated the things that happened to Faramir. He will heal, with the help of Boromir, but Boromir never will. Life can be like that sometimes.

I love your phrase ‘achingly beautiful’ – it well describes what is in my heart about their relationship.

Bless you for your kind words. They are most appreciated!

Alcardilmë    Thursday 10 September 2009, 10:56    #

I checked out Betrayed. I thought it sounded familiar. I did read it when it was posted. I liked it very much. This story also made my stomach hurt in the beginning but I couldn’t keep from reading on. I guess there is always someone that is not going to like everything. You write beautifully and the rest of us enjoy your work very much.

— Kelly    Thursday 10 September 2009, 14:36    #

Many thanks, Kelly. Even though I have written for quite some years, this year has been a difficult one. I am glad the Muse has not abandoned me, and very glad I found this site. Very decent people here. Bless you!

Alcardilmë    Friday 11 September 2009, 9:47    #

This story has everything. Love, hate, terror and even happiness.
My heart aches for the trauma Faramir is going through and for Boromir who can’t, or rather won’t, give voice to what is troubling his heart.
The way you build up the chapters and when they end one can’t seem to stop think of what will happen next, that is a heard thing to accomplish, but you have mastered that.
I am forever grateful that you had the courage to write this story.
When my returning nightmares hunts me and I am to afraid to face them, I turn to this story and I can for a short time forget my own fears.
Thank you forever and ever.

— Ingrid    Sunday 20 September 2009, 10:22    #

Many thanks for your kind words! I am so grateful this story strikes a chord. After finally realizing what the Muse wanted from the nightmare, I could only succumb and write it.

Again Many Thanks!

Alcardilmë    Wednesday 23 September 2009, 20:53    #

Our poor, gentle and sweet Faramir.
He have so much to deal with. I hope that by telling what he has been forced to endure he will come to understand that love can be something nice. I also hope that he will finally be able to sleep through a night without terrors.
Even though it brakes his heart I am sure that Boromir never will leave him or blame him for what has happened.

— Ingrid    Friday 9 October 2009, 23:01    #

That chapter was incredibly difficult to read. I can only imagine what it must have been like to write. And I do not even want to imagine what it must have been like for Boromir to hear.

— trixie    Friday 9 October 2009, 23:47    #

Ah, Ingrid – though this is AU, Boromir will leave for Rivendell… it is written in the stars.
And Boromir’s love for Faramir is quite extraordinary. But so is Faramir, is he not!

Alcardilmë    Sunday 11 October 2009, 5:27    #

Many thanks for the support on this, Trixie. It was written because of a nightmare – and this is chapter is what I saw. Nasty – to say the least!
As for Boromir – how could a brother stand to hear, let alone bear, such things? Especially one who loves his little brother with his very being?

Alcardilmë    Sunday 11 October 2009, 5:31    #

I truly admire your courage in seeing this through to the end: I suspect that many writers would soften the story somehow. But most nightmares, by definition, don’t have happy endings, do they?

— ebbingnight    Wednesday 14 October 2009, 15:42    #

This nightmare was even worse. I did tone it down a bit, except for Chapter 15. I have no idea why I dreamt of Faramir and in such dire circumstances!

Many thanks for your review and your kind words.

Alcardilmë    Sunday 18 October 2009, 5:21    #

This tale is so harrowing that at times I need to turn away. Yet it is so gripping that I cannot. I almost feel obligated to Faramir, Boromir, and you to hear this out.

— trixie    Tuesday 10 November 2009, 22:43    #

Many thanks, trixie, for not running from this tale. The brothers love for each other compells me to continue to write this.

Your comments are most appreciated. Faramir and Boromir thank you too.

Alcardilmë    Friday 13 November 2009, 5:03    #

So sweet and wonderful. I love this story so much. Thank you for sharing it with the rest of us

— Ingrid    Friday 13 November 2009, 7:43    #

I think we all needed a wee bit of a break – a smile or some such. VERY thankful for your kind comments and for your continued support.

Alcardilmë    Monday 16 November 2009, 4:32    #

Of Course you have my support. I could never leave this story nor quitting comment it. You have taken this story to a whole new level. In the beginning I feared reading, like I knew what might happen. I think I have an idea now as well… but now I am anticipating :) It is a remarkable story and you are a fantastic writer

— Ingrid    Wednesday 18 November 2009, 11:48    #

Ingrid – thanks again for your comments. Always heartening to me.

I am afraid I might disappoint you – this tale is near its ending – it doesn’t end the way I thought it would. :(

Alcardilmë    Tuesday 24 November 2009, 19:51    #

Chapter 20 made me smile and even chuckle. Any joy they can experience is precious. But, oh, this latest chapter. . . Poor Boromir, willing to give anything of himself to help his brother.And poor, poor Faramir, realizing now what he has asked of his brother.
Caterwauling is perfect :)

— trixie    Wednesday 25 November 2009, 19:00    #

This was a heartbreaking chap. Poor Boromir and Faramir. I fought not to let tears appear, but I failed miserable.

Thank you so much Hugs

— Ingrid    Monday 30 November 2009, 12:48    #

Hi, Trixie, thanks for the kind words. When one loves deeply, one will do anything… and one will be asked sometimes beyond one’s capacity… the brothers are definitely tragic characters… even in Tolkien’s books.

Alcardilmë    Tuesday 1 December 2009, 21:00    #

Ah, Ingrid… this was difficult, wasn’t it? But Faramir is now ready to continue living, though the price Boromir paid for his brother’s healing is immeasurable… Thanks for your support!

Alcardilmë    Tuesday 1 December 2009, 21:03    #

This story was wonderful. What a strange feeling now that the story has ended. Poor Boromir. I loved how you got the title of the story into the story itself. You are a true artist in your work.
Alcardilmë, I salute you.
*Kneels in front of you, with my head bowed*

— Fëawen    Thursday 10 December 2009, 7:54    #

It’s a very strange feeling being done with this – as this, I think, is one of my favorites. Many thanks for your kind words. I kneel in thanks!

Alcardilmë    Wednesday 16 December 2009, 4:53    #

The brothers have never failed to touch me. Even during a time in my life when I felt numb to everything. their tale was able to cut through the fog and move me.

The description of this tale is one that at one time I never would have opened, especially with the word ‘incest’. But I am so glad I did! It was beautiful and wrenching and captured the depth of the selfless love and devotion between the two so beautifully. Thank you!

— trixie    Friday 18 December 2009, 5:57    #

Trixie – my deepest thanks. The brothers and their love is beyond endurance – whether it be slash or not. I loved Tolkien’s appendix note about their love. Self-less and deep as the sea. Bless you for commenting!

Alcardilmë    Sunday 20 December 2009, 4:42    #

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