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War of the Wizards (PG) Print

Written by KC

15 July 2010 | 120215 words | Work in Progress

Title: War of the Wizards
Author: KC
Rating: PG
Pairing(s): Faramir & No Pairing
Warnings: Spanking
Disclaimer: The characters are not mine. They belong to Tolkien.
Please let me know what you think of this story by leaving a comment.

This is number seven in the series that started with Grief, Elf, Wasps and an Angry Wizard and Stubborn Stewards and Bright Red Paddles, Human King, Elven King & One Stubborn Steward, Sweet Revenge or Let Licking Dogs Lie and Elves, Orcs and the Road to Recovery.
Added: Chapter 52

Part 1

“Faramir Thranduilion!” the King of Gondor’s voice could be heard bellowing from inside his apartments. “You are dead meat! Do you hear me! Dead meat! I know you are hiding somewhere close, you sneaky, conniving little pizzle of a wizard!”

Prince Imrahil of Dol Amroth, King Thranduil of Mirkwood and the elven King’s Seneschal, Maglor, stopped their approach to the King of Gondor’s quarters, stunned momentarily by the King’s bellowed threats. Elven laughter, which Thranduil recognised as being that of his son Legolas and the Elrondion twins and the deeper laughter of a dwarf, which could only be Gimli, the elven King surmised, was heard coming from within the King’s apartments.

“Whatever has that boy done now?” Imrahil intoned as he looked at Thranduil and Maglor as if the elves may be able to shed some light on the situation.

“Knowing my son, it could be anything,” Thranduil sighed as his Seneschal shrugged. “I know that he was not pleased with Estel yesterday although he would not tell me why. There is only one way to find out, mellon-nin,” the elf added after a moment as he gestured towards the handle of the closed door.

Taking a deep breath, Imrahil pushed the handle down tentatively and opened the door. The scene that greeted the trio was chaotic to say the least; nothing was how or where it should have been. The giant bookcases that lined the walls of king’s private reading room were denuded of all books, which were stacked neatly in rows along the rafters in the high ceiling above them, and were standing on their heads. Lounge chairs that normally sat around the fireplace were balancing precariously one on top of the other in the middle of the room. The old and extremely heavy wooden desk that usually sat near the window which looked out onto the King and Steward’s private garden was standing on its side with the draws, which had been removed, laid very neatly around the upturned desk.

Legolas and Gimli were near the fireplace howling with laughter, barely able to keep their feet they were laughing so hard. The twins were in a similar condition leaning back against the frames on either side of the large glassed doors that led out onto the balcony that overlooked the garden. Aragorn was pacing around the room, spluttering and fuming, his hair and upper-body dripping wet. Imrahil, Thranduil and Maglor stared in stunned astonishment as they realised the source of the water dripping down the King’s face. Three large glass tumblers, one filled with water and two empty, floated above Aragorn’s head, following him wherever he went. As they watched, the third glass tipped spilling its contents over the fuming King.

“I will kill him!” Aragorn bellowed for at least the third time, water spraying from his mouth as all three now empty glasses flew over to the fireplace before resting gently on the top of the mantelpiece.

This, unfortunately, proved too much for the younger elves and dwarf for the twins slid down the door frames landing on their rear ends with very unelven thumps and howling with laughter, whilst Legolas fell to the floor rolling around holding his sides, tears of mirth streaming down his face as he too laughed. Gimli fell backwards and into the fireplace, which fortunately was not being used at the time, causing soot to fan out around him and into the air.

“Oh, my!” Imrahil exclaimed quietly his eyes as wide as saucers; a look that Thranduil thought highlighted the resemblance between the Prince of Dol Amroth and Faramir.

Only millennia of sitting court in Mirkwood allowed the elven King to maintain a straight face, although the twinkle in his eyes spoke volumes. Maglor’s eyes narrowed in suspicion, he turned and ran from the room like a hound scenting the hunt. Aragorn was just about to let loose another round of threats when Gandalf entered the room. The wizard froze mid-step though his eyes swept slowly around the room taking in the chaotic scene.

“Redecorating?” Gandalf asked in a mildly interested way. This again was too much for Legolas who had just managed to get his laughter under control. Rolling over onto his stomach the elf slapped the floor with his hand as he cackled with renewed laughter, garnering a glare from Aragorn. The twins sitting on the floor on either side of the balcony doors and Gimli, still sitting in the fireplace, were likewise afflicted. “You are dripping,” the wizard noted, waving a hand vaguely in the direction of the King’s head and upper body.

“I thought I would take a bath,” the King retorted in a quietly dangerous tone.

“It is generally accepted behaviour, son of Elrond, to remove ones clothing before bathing,” Gandalf replied in the wickedly obtuse manner he sometimes assumed usually to the annoyance of anyone so subjected.

“Duly noted. I will take your suggestion on board,” Aragorn snarled, exasperation increasing by the moment.

“What have you done to my wizardling this time?” Gandalf asked in a slightly amused voice.

“W-What I have done?” the King spluttered staring at the wizard in astonishment. “Cast your eyes about Gandalf, this was not my doing!”

“I have told you before Aragorn, it is not good policy to upset a wizard,” Gandalf scolded the King, further inciting Aragorn’s annoyance with his Steward.

“Oh far be it from me to attempt to protect the little pizzle,” Aragorn replied indignantly as he grabbed the towel that Imrahil had retrieved from his bathing chamber and set about drying his hair.

“Protect him – how?” Thranduil asked.

“He sought permission to ride to Osgiliath to check on the troops stationed there, which I refused on the grounds of his safety.” Both Imrahil and Thranduil winced, knowing what Faramir’s reaction was likely to have been, confirmed by the King’s next words. “He sought to wheedle and argue with me until I threatened to blister his arse with ‘Faramir’s Bane’ upon which he muttered some very choice words that would have had him over Maglor’s lap instantly, turned on his heels and stormed out. Not long after I came here to this…” Aragorn said waving his hand vaguely at the chaos around him.

“Please understand Elessar, I know that foxling can be stubborn and quick of temper,” Imrahil began, eliciting a very loud snort from the King at the Prince’s knack for understatement. “But he is feeling caged and is unused to residing in Minas Tirith for lengthy periods let alone without the freedom to come and go as he pleases. More often than not Denethor banished his youngest after only a few days in residence unless he was recovering at the houses of healing or if Boromir was also in residence. The forests of Ithilien were more home to Faramir than Minas Tirith ever was.”

Aragorn sighed as he considered the Prince’s words.

“I do understand and… “ Aragorn replied, the next words halted by the sound of silver trumpets heralding the Steward of Gondor. “I will kill him,” the King bellowed as he turned to retrieve his recalcitrant Steward.

“Nay, Elessar,” Imrahil’s somewhat perplexed words halted the King momentarily. “They are signalling the return of the Steward.

“Return?” Aragorn exclaimed in puzzlement as he made his way to the steps at the entrance to the palace.

“Oh, ion-nin,” Thranduil groaned in a long sigh as he shook his head in exasperation at what he could see in the distance.

“What, mellon-nin? What do your elf eyes see?” the King asked as he strained to see.

“My son on foot being escorted by my Seneschal and a human soldier, both on horseback,” the King groaned again softly at his son’s dark expression as the human trudged up to the highest level of the city.

It seemed forever to those standing at the top of the stairs that led down to the palace courtyard before the Steward appeared through its entrance. Faramir, looking like a very dark thundercloud, was followed by Maglor and the Lieutenant whom Aragorn recognised as the one who had accompanied Finrod in search of signs of Saruman.

Aragorn, Imrahil and Thranduil descended the steps whilst Legolas, the twins, Gimli and Gandalf remained at the top, all the better to watch what was likely to be a very entertaining confrontation.

“That is quite enough out of you, pen-neth,” Maglor admonished his young charge who had been muttering curses all the way from the city gates. “You are in enough trouble as it is and do not want to be facing me after Estel has finished with you.”

“Maglor, Lieutenant,” Aragorn greeted each in turn and then turned his full attention to his Steward. “How came you by my Steward and where did you find him?” the King asked of the two still astride their horses but with eyes only for Faramir who glared at a point just over Aragorn’s right shoulder.

“When I saw the condition of your reading chamber,” Maglor paused staring intently at the back of his young charge’s head as he dismounted, “I suspected that it might have been a diversionary tactic on the part of my young charge, so I went down to the city gates to lay in wait and would be there still if I had not chanced upon the Lieutenant here. As an Ithilien Ranger the Lieutenant is well versed in the covert tactics employed by one Faramir, Steward of Gondor,” the elf continued.

Faramir’s eyes narrowed as he contemplated what he would like to do to the overzealous soldier.

“Foxling,” Imrahil warned recognising his nephew’s expression.

“When I explained what I was about the Lieutenant suggested that, in all likelihood, the ‘Captain’ had already made his escape,” Maglor resumed the tale. “We found him a short while later with a company of soldiers, headed for Osgiliath.”

“Afoot?” Aragorn asked aghast.

“Nay, he was mounted but we thought is best to divest him of his horse before proceeding here. He stubbornly refused to ride double with either of us,” Maglor said as he looked askance at the young Steward who continued to glare fixedly over the King’s shoulder.

Aragorn moved closer to his Steward so that his next words would be audible only to Imrahil and the elves closest.

“You my young Steward can remove yourself to my reading chamber, put it to rights and await my return,” the King commanded in a low growl.

Stiffly and with annoyance showing in every step, the Steward did as he was bid. Thranduil looked upon his son with sympathy, knowing how it felt to be caged by one’s responsibilities. The elven King did not follow his son, judging that Faramir needed the space and time to regain his composure. Thranduil also noted with approval that Legolas and the others did the same when Faramir had reached the top of the stairs.

Shaking his head at the retreating form of his Steward, Aragorn turned his attention to the mounted soldier.

“You have our gratitude Lieutenant,” the King said smiling up at the soldier.

“I am pleased to be of assistance, sire. The Captain there is the most gifted commander I have ever served with. There was many a time that we would have perished, outnumbered and ill equipped as we were, but for the Captain’s cunning. He always managed to turn that sure loss into a victory, until Osgiliath that is – not even the Captain could save us from that one. But a challenge and trial that one is also I am afraid, sire. Always conscious of and vigilant towards the safety of others but absolutely oblivious to his own. Damrod and Anborn shouted and cursed themselves hoarse, despairing of ever getting the young Captain to think of his own safety. And Mablung… well let me just say that the man had a more effective way of dealing the Captain’s stubbornness,” the Lieutenant finished obliquely.

“I thank you again, Lieutenant and ask that you continue to look out for my Steward,” Aragorn said in way of a dismissal.

“That I will, sire. Have no fear,” the soldier said as he turned his mount around and made his way out of the courtyard and down to the Garrison, chuckling to himself at the continued antics of the Captain. Good luck to them all in keeping that one in line, he thought as he continued down the levels of the city.

Turning back to the palace Aragorn took a deep calming breath that did not work.

“Now, I must needs attend to my Steward!” the King growled as he began ascending the stairs.

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Thank the author

The following people read the story, enjoyed it, and would like to thank the author: Diabolique , Mycroft R Holmes , Ria of the woodlands , ShadowDeLafayette , Aqua , Annette , 'del , LN Tora , Key , Emerald , BlackSwan , WendyUK , Anna , Brenda , Krystal , Pansy , Jung , Marcella , Dexter , Thelma , Warner , Merry , tiinaj1 , Bernard , August , Sue , Treedweller

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51 Comment(s)

NB: Comments span all chapters and may contain spoilers!

I really like what you’ve done with all these stories. I can’t wait to continue reading them. I do have a question. How on earth will Faramir continue to age. Will he get old like gandalf, or just stop like hte elves? Just curious! Keep writing! classacte

— classacte    20 April 2006, 05:53    #

when are you going to update this? Poor Chiri, and I can’t wait to see what happens with Sarumon! COntinue soon! classacte

— classacte    2 May 2006, 03:24    #

wow, these stories are great. Can’t wait to read the rest. I’d love to see a flashback of Thranduil and Maglor dealing with the escape of the dwarves since you made it sound so funny. Keep up the good work.

— Daughter of Thranduil    10 June 2006, 06:00    #

Hi again. Just curious as to when you will be updating next?

— Daughter of Thranduil    13 July 2006, 23:46    #

I LOVE it! Keep up the fantastic work. Just one little question: what does Maglor truely look like? I’ve reread this fiction at least a dozen times & I’m curious to his hair color and style!

— Lori Tankersley    4 August 2006, 04:14    #

Hi Lori,

Thank you for the kind words and I’m pleased you are enjoying the story. I described Maglor very briefly in Elves, Orcs and the Road to recovery as “a tall blond elven warrior”. I picture him as having long blond hair in the elven way with warrior braids. He is taller than Legolas and Faramir. Of course, like all evles he is stunning with deep blue eyes that seem endlessly deep.

KC    4 August 2006, 18:10    #

Hee hee! Serves Eomer right for being so nasty to Faramir! I really enjoyed this chapter. Maglor is such a wonderful character. Keep up the great work.

— Daughter of Thranduil    5 August 2006, 16:39    #

Thank you!! Maglor has been an absolute hoot to write and I’m pleased it shows through :)

KC    6 August 2006, 14:18    #

Great chapter. Loved it.

— Daughter of Thranduil    27 September 2006, 20:52    #

I alsways enjoy your story very much. This chapter was no exception. I think that Eomer got what he deserved and Misto’s reaction/action was what to be expected! ;) Are we starting with the march towards Minas Morgul next? Can’t wait to see how the battle plays out! Patience is not a virtue :)

— maeglina    2 October 2006, 15:14    #

It’s so good to see a new chapter of this story! Such fun :-)

— Monica    30 May 2007, 09:56    #

Thank you Monica,

It’s been a rough few months but I’m back to writing (whew!). I’ve even started on part 51.

KC    31 May 2007, 05:34    #

Welcome back! We missed you!

— Archmage XIII    16 June 2007, 07:24    #

Thank you! Good to be writing again. Hope to have the next part finished soon.

KC    18 June 2007, 12:06    #

Wonderful to see another chapter to this story, I’ve been reading since the beginning on a yahoo group that I lost track of, so I’ very glad you post here. Loved Misto’s armour! Looking forward to the next part.

— wendyuk    1 August 2007, 11:32    #

Thank you Wendy!! It’s certainly been a long journey. I never imagined the story would go in the directions it has LOL. Hope to update Soon. Thanks again :)

KC    5 August 2007, 09:10    #

Delighted to see a new chapter of this fun read. It always puts a smile on my face.
BTw – I love your portrayal of Arwen.

— Dixie    6 August 2007, 00:41    #

Thank you Dixie! Always nice to know that people find something to smile about in my stories. And thank you for the compliment about Arwen!! :)

KC    13 August 2007, 09:51    #

Since this hasn’t been updated in around 7 months, I gather it’s dead? Shame, as I was enjoying it. I keep checking back periodically to see if there’s an update, but my hopes dwindle.

— Mandy    23 February 2008, 22:48    #

Hi Mandy,

Sorry but RL got in the way big time. My country had a welcome change of Government last November. A change of Government, before and after, means a lot of work. The project that I was working was discontinued so apart from looking for a transfer to another organisation, I have more time on my hands now in addition to a new laptop. I have started work on the next chapter and hope to have it finished within the next few weeks.

KC    24 February 2008, 07:27    #

That comment made me laugh out loud. You must be British. Did no one in England like poor Tony? He seems about as popular as Bush is over here, but I imagine both men meant well. Lord knows what we’ll end up with in Nov. Oh well, I’ll keep checking on the story. Thanks.

— Mandy    24 February 2008, 23:57    #


“You must be British.”

I think not. Blair left us some 5 months earlier, in June, not November, and as he stood down as Prime Minister during the Labour government’s term in office and handed over to Gordon Brown for the rest of that term, it was not a change of government either. Imagine (keeping in mind that prime ministers are not presidents and the two systems are not comparable) that —God forbid— something would happen to Bush: then Cheney would take over until the next elections.

Countries that were in the process of changing their governments around last November include Australia, Denmark, Croatia and Argentina. A glance at KC's email address makes me suspect we're dealing with the first.

PS: If you want to keep up with political affairs around the world (US media are so inwardly focused), the BBC are an invaluable source. Personally I prefer The Economist which has an excellent ‘Politics this week’ section, with matching weekly newsletter.

Admin    25 February 2008, 08:12    #

Hi Mandy
Admin is right. Blair was extremely popular in comparison to our ex-Prime Minister Howard. We now have a round faced, blond, blue-eyed Labor PM who speaks, of all languages, Mandarin. A breath of fresh air but damn Kevin Rudd’s hard work. He makes workaholics look narcoleptic.

KC    25 February 2008, 08:53    #

Ouch. And I thought that our lot was bad. Good to hear that this isn’t dead, since I’m rather fond of them. Although, I do find myself feeling sorry for Eomer. Even if he is an ass.

— Jerry    22 March 2008, 22:38    #

This is very good! Give yourself a pat on the back! ;)
P.S when is the next chapter coming? it been almost a year since i last read this (Yes i read your stories twice)

— Victoria    29 August 2008, 02:51    #

Sorry to all who have been following this story. Work has consumed every waking minute both physically and emotionally for over 12 months and has given me nothing but grief and heartache in return. So I start a new job on 15 September that pays more, involves less time and is something I enjoy doing. The upshot is that I hope to have my half completed chapter finished before the end of November. Thank you again all for your patience but I am determined to finish this story and Misto keeps rattling his armour at me menacingly in my dreams!!

— KC    1 September 2008, 11:25    #

Congratulations on your new job! It is so important to also have time for yourself, not just for work – great to hear you’re finding a better balance. Best of luck!

iris    4 September 2008, 11:18    #

Well done on getting a much better job. I know I’m being selfish but I love this story so much please continue it as soon as possible. I enjoy reading and experiencing the way your characters continue to evolve…keep up the good work.

— Annette    17 November 2008, 20:05    #

Hi. I just found this story and really enjoyed it. I love your characterization of Faramir and the elves. I can’t wait to see where you go with this story next. Please update again soon.

— ana    29 April 2009, 06:31    #

Hi KC!

I just discovered your story, and was well impressed by it. I see you’ve not updated for a while, and I’m guessing RL got in the way? I hope all is well and that you keep writing as you’ve got a great talent. Thanks for all your effort!

— Aqua    1 September 2009, 07:29    #

Hey, as I said before but this time it different, I think you should consider publishing this but I’ll think it’ll be a short book but still! and yep this is much be…fourth time I read this? It just too enjoyable :D

— Victoria    20 October 2009, 00:01    #

Please do finish this story.
Even though I don’t second your “love” for spanking, you write so well that I need to know how it ends.
Don’t keep us in the dark.

— lille mermeid    31 January 2010, 19:15    #

Hi all,
Sorry to have gone MIA for so long but 2009 was a hard year. Worked like a dog on a successful project and won an organisational award.

Went to another project job, worked like a dog and won another organisational award.

Went into a non-project job in the same organisation and four days later retrenchment packages were offered to all. Much to the chagrin of the bosses, mine was too good to refuse and has set me up for life.

Left work and looked forward to writing again. Unfortunately I had to look after an ailing mother for three months. Mother is now better. Looked forward to writing again.

Unfortunately, bosses begged me to come back as a contractor. In a moment of weakness said yes. Still working but am starting to write again only to face a bit of writer’s block.

Whew!! What a year!!

— KC    1 February 2010, 22:06    #

Hi KC,

I have very much enjoyed your series of stories beginning with Grief and currently ending in War of Wizards. They are a very fun read, you really give a charming personality to characters I’ve always loved and wanted to know more about, such as Faramir, and his uncle Imrahil’s family.

No pressure whatsoever, but if you do write more in the future, I will be happy to read. In particular, I wonder whether Saruman realizes how thoroughly he may be outclassed in cunning by the fox cubs and their families and friends. I also wonder whether Eowyn has decided to accompany the soldiers from Rohan in the War of the Wizards, since Eomer elected to leave her in Rohan, and it seems the type of thing she might do again, this time for the purpose of watching Farmir’s back. I’m also interested in seeing the first meeting between Eomer and Imrahil’s daughter, and Faramir’s elven family and Eowyn. If I can be of any assistance in terms of proofreading or hashing out ideas, please feel free to drop me a line.

Best of luck with everything,

Susana R.

— Susana R    23 May 2010, 07:46    #

I am doing the happy dance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can’t wait to read the rest of this wonderful story, full of humour and adventure.

You were one of the writers who made me want to write Faramir Fan Fiction.

— Lille Mermeid    15 July 2010, 16:48    #

KC, It’s wonderful to see you writing again! Thank you so much for sharing your fantastic stories with us, and I hope life is treating you better now. This is one of my favourite stories, and an update is a lovely excuse for a re-read! Thank you again. Wendy

— Wendy    15 July 2010, 20:34    #

You’re back!! How wonderful! I enjoy your stories so much and to see an update to War of Wizards has made my day! Thank you so very, very much!!

— Libraryblue    15 July 2010, 20:51    #

Happy to see You back and for that reason I re-read whole story once again. Thank You!

— Cicely    18 July 2010, 05:43    #

Lovely to see you writing again! The personalities and interactions of your characters are as delightful as ever. Still brings a smile to my face!

— trixie    22 July 2010, 05:40    #


I have just finished reading the entire series you wrote. I have enjoyed so much that I can’t help but ask you to continue. Everything, from the idea of younger ones being spanked, to larger roles of some characters, to the amused elderly Elves, to fox cubs… I don’t know, just everything seems so right. This series has had me both on the edge of tears and chuckling throughout the reading. I enjoy Faramir fictions and the way you’re writing this one, intertwining the memories and the presence, going into the depths with each character yet not going out of them (OOC) is amazing. I would very much like to see this to be finished some day.

Thank you very much for the delightful experience of being able to read the brilliantly written story.
And I do apologize, for this comment doesn’t make up even for the half of it, but there is so much I can’t quite put into words at the moment. Am still stunned at how you managed to do it and how good it came out.

Best regards,

— Aneyrin    23 December 2010, 21:10    #

OMG! I love these stories so much they have had me laughing and crying at Faramirs exploits! I cant wait to read the rest :) x

— key    25 February 2011, 19:50    #

Wow, Your stories are wonderful.
I couldn’t stop reading them until the end. I almost cry when I saw that war of the wizards wasn’t finished. (ok, it was probably the nerves since I didn’t sleep in two nights that I spent reading. XD)
You’re a very good writer and these fics are just very interesting, and the plot is fun and intriguing at the same time.


— Girlytiger    21 April 2011, 22:32    #

I love this series i will admit i never thought about faramir being adopted by elves please please please update soon.

— Nikki    11 July 2011, 02:35    #

great story – please do continue.Can hardly wait for how it ends. thanks for writing.

— joe    2 January 2012, 10:43    #

Greeting, dear KC!

I just re-read War of Wizards and enjoyed it as much as I did the frist time through. I still had fits of laughter and giggles throughout the reading and I swear someone was peeling onion at certain times when I was reading.

This site hasn’t heard from you in a while, but I do hope you’re well and will once continue writing and posting this wonderful story you created.

Thank you for sharing it with us and good luck with whatever it is you’re doing in your life currently,

— Aneyrin    17 July 2012, 22:01    #

Hi KC,

I hope all is well in your life and you still have the time to write.

Just wanted to thank you for the great story and for the sharing of it .
It is amazing how you manage to create such a wanderfull time line and I just love the characters and the way they interact .

Looking forward to the next chapters and a happy end of the story .

Many thanks for your work.
Good luck in life and happiness .

— BlackSwan    14 February 2013, 06:20    #

Hi KC, just wanted to say I really enjoyed this story. Thank you so much for sharing it. I know it’s been a long time since you updated it and hope everything is alright in your life. I hold out hope that this fantastic story will eventually be finished. Again thanks for the story and good luck in your life.

— Anna    5 June 2014, 20:41    #

Hi – thanks for a great read. I’m assuming this story has been abandoned – or is continued on a 3rd site? Can you advise?

— tiinaj1    20 July 2017, 03:37    #

Are you going to update this anytime soon. I’m dying to figure out what happens! I love Love LOVE!!!! these stories please keep writing. ;)

— Alexa    29 July 2018, 19:41    #

Very enjoyable and fulfilling read! Is this story still in the making, or has it been abandoned? I hope not the latter! So much want to find out how it ends!

— Treedweller    19 January 2019, 10:48    #

Me again. I’ve just read the entire series up to here for the third time. It looks like this has been abandoned? Alas, so many of us are dying to find out what happens! Thank you for your work and for sharing it with us.

— Treedweller    14 June 2019, 13:27    #

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