04 January 2006 | 2695 words
Author's Notes: Written for Slash Me Twice; Prompt: 088. Magazine. Haldir discovers Faramir's journal.
Faramir stood nervously before the mirror and adjusted his tunic again. His eyes wandered back to his wardrobe and he wondered if he should change…again. He almost laughed at himself and shook his head. //Not that he looks at me in *that* way. He doesn't care what I wear.// He sighed and brushed at the pale blue tunic, then made his way to the outer chamber.
Haldir would be arriving any minute. They had planned to spend an evening together, just two friends sharing each other's company. At least that was what he had framed the invitation as, though Faramir wished it were more.
Ever since he had first seen the beautiful Elf, he had been drawn to him. Beautiful wasn't the right word to describe Haldir. Stunning? Yes, he was stunning, his eyes were what had caught Faramir's attention first. They sparkled like the moon shimmering on the Anduin and when he smiled…oh, Haldir's smile was absolutely radiant. Faramir had noticed that he didn't smile often, but when he did, Gods it was breathtaking.
He had spent a great deal of time simply observing Haldir it seemed. The way the sunlight would sparkle on his hair, the way he moved with such fluid grace all seemed to fascinate Faramir. He knew it was more than fascination but he knew that someone as exquisite as Haldir, would only ever see him as a friend. And Faramir was more than honored to have that title as his friend.
He was pulled from his musings by a soft knock at his door and he took a deep breath before opening it. Faramir's smile was automatic as he saw Haldir standing before him, he didn't speak for a moment as he simply stared at his guest. Clearing his throat, he stepped back to allow Haldir to enter. "Thank you again for agreeing to spend the evening here," he said as he let Haldir into his room, "I just did not feel up to spending the evening in the main hall."
Haldir smiled at Faramir, thinking that he looked magnificent in his blue tunic, which seemed to make his eyes even more alluring, if that were possible. Something about the way Faramir looked at him always made Haldir feel relaxed and peaceful, and he found himself looking forward to spending an evening alone with his friend.
As he stepped inside Faramir’s room, he bowed slightly and smiled. “Thank you for inviting me, mellonamin (my friend),” he said softly. “I did not feel like spending time in the main hall either, actually. I’ve been looking forward to relaxing and spending time with you all afternoon.”
Faramir smiled and tried to will any nervousness away, knowing that Haldir only saw him as a friend who shared his love of books and nothing more. "Please, have a seat," he said ushering Haldir toward the small sitting area.
They barely sat down when someone knocked on the door. Faramir frowned and stood back up. "I'm sorry," he said to Haldir as he crossed back to the door. He bit back a sigh, wishing that for just one afternoon he would simply have some time to himself, but with his duties as Steward he had found that he often did not get even such a simple luxury. When he opened the door a paige told him that the king had requested his presence for only a short time. Sighing and nodding to the paige he turned back to his guest. "Haldir, I am terribly sorry. I...have to go out for a moment, but I'll be back soon. Just...make yourself at home. I won't be long," he said trying to keep the disappointment from his voice. //I hope that I won't be long anyway.//
Haldir crossed the room and rested his hand on Faramir’s shoulder. “I understand completely,” he smiled, “I know your time is quite valuable, my friend, and I would not take you away from your duties. Take your time, I’ll be here when you return.”
For a moment, Faramir simply enjoyed the light pressure of Haldir's hand against his shoulder and smiled. "Thank you," he said as he turned to follow the paige and praying silently that he wouldn't be gone very long.
Haldir watched as Faramir walked away, and closed the door behind him. Sighing as he looked around the room, he crossed over to the window and leaned against the ledge, looking over the city for long moments, thinking that Minas Tirith really was a lovely place to live.
After a while, he turned and made his way across the cold stone floor, looking over the countless books that lined the shelves on every wall. His fingers trailed lightly over several thick leather-bound archives that were just over Faramir’s desk, and came to rest over a particularly thick one that held countless loose sheets of parchment.
He started to move on, but something about the sheets intrigued him, and, after all, he reasoned, Faramir *did* tell him to make himself at home. Since many of their discussions were about books, he decided that Faramir wouldn’t mind if he looked at this one, and carefully pulled it from the shelf.
Carrying the leather bound sheets to Faramir’s desk, he sat down and opened the loosely bound journal. Gasping as he realized that the first sheet was a sketch of himself, he let his fingers trail lightly over the parchment, wondering how it was he hadn’t known Faramir was so talented. He’d captured Haldir’s face to perfection, down to his golden hair, and the serious, sometimes haughty look that he sometimes wore when he was preoccupied.
The next sheet revealed another drawing of him…sitting on a bench in the gardens, book in hand, as the wind blew his hair back from his face.
His fingers moved quickly, but reverently, as he discovered sheet after sheet of exquisite sketches…some of Minas Tirith, some of Boromir, Faramir’s late brother, but mostly renderings of Haldir himself. //He truly sees me this way? How…how could I not have known?//
Faramir had answered the king’s questions about the repairs to the gates and guard towers and then as quickly as he could, then made his way back to his room where Haldir was waiting. When the king had discovered that Faramir was taking the afternoon to spend with his friend Haldir, he'd smiled inwardly and apologized for disturbing them. Faramir had assured him that it was not a disturbance though he'd left in a hurry.
Aragorn had laughed softly as Faramir closed the door, and discreetly made sure that no one would disturb the pair, hoping that his young Steward would admit his attraction to the Elf. He had noticed the longing in Faramir's eyes when the younger man gazed at the Elf of course, only when he thought no one was looking.
When Faramir arrived back at his room, he entered quickly, speaking before he fully turned around from closing the door. "I'm sorry, Haldir. I didn't mean to keep you waiting, but I don't believe I'll have anymore pressing matters to attend to this afternoon..." his words trailed off when he turned and saw Haldir sitting at his desk with an...odd...look on his face. "Haldir?"
Haldir studied Faramir’s face for a moment, wondering if he dared ask the questions that were uppermost in his mind. He couldn’t forget the sketches, however, and the sheaf of parchment still lay on the desk in front of him, though Faramir couldn’t see it from where he was standing. “Faramir, I…,” he paused and cleared his throat as he stood and tried to find the words. “I’m sorry, my friend, but…I didn’t think you would mind if I looked at some of your books, and…and…I’m afraid I invaded your privacy. Please forgive me, but…I saw this,” he gestured toward the parchment on Faramir’s desk and had the grace to blush, “and…I found your beautiful sketches. I had no idea you were this talented.”
As Faramir started to cross the room toward Haldir, his heart seemed to skid to a halt in his chest as he saw the drawings spread across the desk. He looked up at Haldir with his face burning, and realized Haldir was blushing as well. "I'm...I'm sorry...I," his words trailed off as he realized he had no idea what to say. Haldir didn't *seem* to mind the sketches and as the silence drug out, he looked down. "I...don't normally share them...the drawings with ... well... with anyone. You...you are the first to ever see them." He was unable to meet Haldir's eyes and simply stood in the center of the room unsure what to do or say.
Haldir moved from around the desk and crossed the room to stand in front of Faramir. “Mellonamin, they are beautiful,” he said softly, trying to catch Faramir’s gaze. “The ones of me are far more beautiful than I could ever hope to be. I…I had no idea you had been sketching me.”
Faramir looked up slowly, his eyes meeting Haldir's and he swallowed hard. "You are even more beautiful than what I've captured in those drawings," he whispered softly. "I...I can't quite capture the way your eyes sparkle or the way your smile can light up any room you enter." Faramir could hear his heartbeat pounding in his own ears and his face burning even more with the admission but it was simply the truth, at least to him. "I am not talented enough to capture such things."
“Is that…truly how you see me, Faramir?” Haldir asked as he moved closer. “As…beautiful, and…able to light up a room? Because…honestly, that is just how I see you, but I was afraid to say so. Why do you think I’ve stayed in Minas Tirith for so long? I wanted to be in your presence for as long as I possibly could, and I kept delaying my return to Lothlórien though my business was taken care of weeks ago.”
Looking up as Haldir moved closer, Faramir simply stared at the Elf as his heart continued to pound in his chest. "You? You see me that way?" he whispered as if to himself. He had not realized that Haldir was delaying his return...because...of him? "Haldir...the first time I saw you...I felt as if everything I'd ever thought was beautiful paled miserably in comparison to you. And then, when we became friends...I realized that your beauty was not just on the surface. I....forgive me," he whispered looking down, "I do not have a right to say such things."
Haldir bit his bottom lip as Faramir’s words registered and he lifted his hand to gently tilt his friend’s face back up until their gazes met. “There is nothing to forgive,” he said softly, “unless I should ask the steward’s forgiveness for wanting to kiss him.”
Fire seemed to lance through Faramir as Haldir spoke, almost stealing his breath away with the softly spoken words. He moved closer, watching Haldir's eyes, and feeling both nervous and elated in the same instance. "I...I wish to kiss you too," he whispered as he moved closer to Haldir. His hand rested against the center of Haldir's chest and he could feel his heart pounding at the same fast rate that his own did. Leaning closer, his eyes continued to stay fixed on Haldir's. "Haldir..." his words seemed to catch in his chest as he realized he saw the same longing in his friend’s eyes as he felt. He paused for a moment before leaning closer and pressing his lips to Haldir's gently. He didn't push for more, as if allowing Haldir to draw away at any moment.
Haldir tentatively wrapped his arms around Faramir, and closed his eyes. His lips parted and he let his tongue slip out to gently lick at the soft lips sealed over his own, teasing and inviting Faramir to explore his mouth. His soft sigh was lost in the kiss and in the back of his mind, he thought that the kiss was only starting, and it was already the most perfect kiss he’d ever known in all his years.
Feeling Haldir's lips part beneath his own, and a gentle warm tongue moving against his lips, Faramir gasped and parted his own lips. Allowing his tongue to move forward into Haldir's mouth, gently tasting and teasing he knew he'd never known anything like this before. He'd never wanted, *needed* to kiss someone as much as he did Haldir, and before he could even register the thoughts his arms wrapped around the Elf he'd longed for for what seemed all his life. A soft moan was lost between them as their bodies pressed together and he felt Haldir's hands move against his back. It was perfect, and it seemed that time stretched out as they kissed.
When they finally pulled away for air, Haldir was breathless and smiling, feeling happier than he could ever remember feeling in his life. One arm stayed firmly around Faramir’s waist as the other lifted to gently card through soft, ginger-colored hair. “Faramir, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,” he said softly. “Since the very first moment I set eyes on you, and it was even more perfect than I ever dreamed. And I’ve dreamed about this often, I must confess.”
Faramir smiled and leaned into Haldir's touch, his eyes sinking closed slowly before opening again to look into sparkling blue eyes. "I too have wanted to do that from the moment I first saw you, Haldir. The reason I drew those sketches was because I simply couldn't get you off my mind. I've...dreamed of this moment...of kissing you, and telling you...that," he paused for a moment, fear stealing his voice for a moment, "that...I love you, Haldir."
Haldir’s heart was pounding so loudly, he was sure they could hear it down in the main hall. He could see nothing but sincerity in Faramir’s eyes, and his smile grew wider as he pulled the steward closer. “I love you too,” he said honestly. “I fell in love with you only hours after we met. I watched you as you were talking to the king. You were so graceful and lovely that it was all I could do to keep myself from wrapping my arms around you and begging the king to let me whisk you away for a few hours while I figured out a way to steal a kiss.”
Faramir laughed softly and raised his hand to trail through golden hair that was softer than the finest silk. He'd wanted to do that simple thing for so long now that he found himself smiling happily at Haldir. His heart seemed to hammer within his chest, and he gazed into Haldir's eyes adoringly. "You cannot steal that which you already own," he said softly, "all of my kisses are yours...my heart...is yours, love."
Leaning forward to press his lips against Faramir’s neck, Haldir closed his eyes again and led the steward in a slow, sweet dance around the room. “As my heart and my kisses all belong to you, my beloved” he whispered. “For all eternity.”
As they continued to dance across the room, Haldir leaned back and gazed into sparkling blue eyes. “I hope that the king will allow me to live here in Gondor. I find that I have absolutely no desire to return to the Golden Wood.”
The happiness that seemed to settle around his heart, made Faramir smile as Haldir moved with him. It was as if they were dancing to music only they could hear and his arms tightened around his love. The word 'beloved' seemed to echo in his mind and he knew that what he'd waited his entire life to know...to feel, was right there in his arms. They moved together slowly for a time, sharing soft sweet kisses and gentle caresses that slowly grew to more as their passion built. With a last glance back at the drawings on his desk, Faramir led Haldir toward his bed chamber.
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The following people read the story, enjoyed it, and would like to thank the author: Blondie , Line