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Exile (NC-17) Print

Written by Alcardilmë

19 February 2012 | 8769 words | Work in Progress

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Chapter Three – Penitence

Once, only once did Boromir look back upon his City and wept. Its splendor had always held sway over him. He could envision nothing quite as beautiful…. Except Faramir. He bit his lip, flinching at the pain of the brutalized lower fold, and faced westward, with no clear idea of where he was headed or what he would do. All he knew, in the aching depths of his heart, was that he had lost everything dear to him. Everything.

He took to hiding in the Drúadan Forest, spending nights huddled in caves or makeshift lean-tos. Days he spent hunched in somber thought, always facing eastward, always towards Minas Tirith – and Faramir. He agonized over all that had transpired on that last day. Seeing Faramir wash in the morning, watching with lust-filled eyes as his brother’s cock, limp and beautiful, swayed with Faramir’s morning ablutions. When his brother left their room, Boromir had done the only thing he could do. He took Faramir’s pillow, placed it over his head, breathed in the musky scent, and gave his oblation to his brother as he came, again and again.

It did not satisfy. Nothing satisfied, even though he moaned loud enough to be heard on the First Circle. He spent the rest of the day pacing the balcony of the highest tower in Minas Tirith, screaming his frustration, his love, and his abject horror at the feelings that now controlled him. He could stand it no longer. Nightfall found him in that curséd brothel. He sealed his own doom in that one word.

In his latest cave, Boromir flailed himself each morning, recognizing that, if only he had stayed that one word, that one damning word, he would now be with his brother, in his City. Ever he dwelt on that last moment with Faramir’s scent in his nostrils. He could find no other solution but the one he had condemned himself to.

By the evening, each evening, his lip bloodied, his back covered with welts from the hand-made whip, his forehead scraped and raw from pounding it into the earth, he fell into exhausted sleep. He did not know, could not tell, what caused him to mutilate himself. Was it to sate his lust for Faramir or to seek forgiveness from whichever Valar he had unknowingly offended? Right now, he did not care. His arms ached to hold Faramir.

Boromir knew he was going mad and wondered if Saruman, during his last visit, had placed some spell of depravation upon him. He shook his head and cringed at the pain. Drawing in a breath to steady himself, cursing. More than two years ago, he had recognized and accepted his carnal love for Faramir. The wizard could be blamed – by someone with less sense!

Seeking respite from such ruinous thoughts, he took himself in hand and came with hardly a pull. The moment did not last as he felt hands on his shoulders and heard chortling. He turned and faced a band of Drúin1. One hit him. The sudden attack from the stocky creature made him stagger. Boromir looked up in surprise and was backhanded. The blow rocked him. He fell. He did all in his power to stay the assault, but one of the creatures sat on him. Two others held his arms while a fourth repeatedly kicked his ribs.

Boromir cried out. His attackers did not hear, or did not understand. Blood ran down his throat and he choked on it. The Drúin seemed not to notice. The pummeling continued until Boromir could not breathe. His eyes closed in final surrender.


1 Drúin (plural) Dru (singular) – Sindarin for the native Drughu, known by the Rohirrim as Wose.

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19 Comment(s)

Very interesting beginning! Please, continue!

— Anastassiya    Monday 12 July 2010, 6:13    #

Chapters 2, 3 & 4 are already in the can…. Glad you found this interesting.

Alcardilmë    Tuesday 13 July 2010, 3:52    #

It is so fascinating to see angst explored from inside Boromir’s head. Few authors tap into the elder brother’s thoughts and feelings.

— trixie    Thursday 22 July 2010, 5:54    #

Many thanks! I do so love getting into my character’s heads! giggles Rather naughty, don’t you think!

Alcardilmë    Sunday 25 July 2010, 4:11    #

Greedily waiting for chapter 3 and on! Great beginning, love the angsty Boromir. So far you do not betray what Faramir might be thinking on a certain matter, so it’s all doubly intriguing.

December    Thursday 29 July 2010, 18:55    #

Bless you! You know I am such a fan of yours. I cannot believe your tale, ‘Oxygen’ – just blew me away – incredible writing. I am soooo pleased to think something of mine makes you greedy! Again, bless you!

Alcardilmë    Friday 30 July 2010, 5:26    #

Yey, first to comment on chapter 3! I felt so sorry for Boromir reading this chapter, what with his misery and all, and I so wished something nice would happen to him – and then there’s this ending… Well, what can I say: again, I’m waiting for more, naively hoping something nice would happen to him in the next chapter…

December    Thursday 5 August 2010, 9:52    #

We can only hope that something nice will happen to Boromir and Faramir… both suffering in their own ways. Boromir has been fighting something he cannot see; perhaps this new enemy will clear his head! Thanks ever so much for commenting. Most appreciated.

Alcardilmë    Thursday 5 August 2010, 22:12    #

Great, great, another chapter!
I wonder if Boromir had given it any thought how insane with worry everybody would be made by his disappearance… And I really-really wonder what Faramir would think – and do – if he were to know the truth… And, naturally, I wonder what is going on with the unfortunate heir and his new er… acquaintances.
Glad to have had this update, and of course much looking forward to the next one!

December    Thursday 26 August 2010, 13:38    #

Thanks, December, for continuing to comment… and read… Poor Boromir – honor is of the utmost importance. And Faramir’s honor is to be guarded with his life… which he has now, in his mind, failed miserably.

Alcardilmë    Sunday 3 October 2010, 7:16    #

Oh, poor baby Boromir! I just discovered this story and it is FANTASTIC! :)

— cecilia    Sunday 3 October 2010, 8:57    #

Many thanks, cecilia, I’m enjoying writing this.

Alcardilmë    Monday 18 October 2010, 23:20    #

Alrighty, finally worked up the courage to read what happens to Boromir…
Er… I probably got one of those shock-resistant minds: it just refuses to fully take in everything that’s happened to him. The magnitude of it just won’t sink in… There’s still this thought that if now he’s treated with care, he’ll come to be just as before – which is obviously not how these things work… I mean, a single dose of what he’d been through can easily leave one messed up for life – and he’d been there, what, weeks? And so many people, too… He must be quite destroyed, although I can see how seeing it all as a deserved punishment would in part help him come to acceptance. And I’m wondering, too, what about… well, the physical side of the healing. The treatment he’d been subjected to is bound to have left his body in a rather irreparable state – what is he going to do about that…? One would think he’s already more than paid his due for putting Faramir’s honour in danger – I wonder if that’s occured to Boromir, too…

December    Tuesday 18 January 2011, 17:16    #

Gonna be a long haul on the healing end – but don’t you think Theodred might have what it takes to help our dear man? Wait till Faramir finally finds him, too.

alcardilme    Saturday 22 January 2011, 5:26    #

Yea, Theodred’s a good character: we know hardly anything about him, so really, one can make him into pretty much anybody. And anyway, that talk about healing is purely theoretical for now: I mean, I don’t even know whether you actually do plan for Boromir to get healed ;) What with Boromir being the tragic hero he is, it could go in any direction for all I know :) I just hope that, you know, he won’t have to go through the “axe” thing again…

December    Saturday 22 January 2011, 9:32    #

Hey, darling! How’s it going with this one?
After what poor B’s been through, I’d really love to see him on a happier path :)

December    Monday 11 July 2011, 7:53    #

Woohoohoo, call me cynical, but I’m getting the feeling Theodred’s going to make Boromir’s already somewhat miserable life only the more difficult XD How can Boromir handle so much love now, especially from someone who isn’t Faramir? Because, cleanse you inside out – that means what I think it does, does it…?

December    Saturday 19 November 2011, 9:14    #

More! More!
Also, me enjoy the dialogue :)

December    Wednesday 30 November 2011, 0:47    #

My dear, are you well? And… will there be more…?

I have commented on this story before, but now I am more on the edge than ever. I’ll be honest, I had expected a more straightforward development of events at the point where Faramir tracks Boromir down, something about healing, etc.
What I have found instead is more complicated, and more interesting to me, and also what I find to be much more real-life. Many shadowy issues they have, both the brothers. And Theodred… he knows Boromir well. Maybe too well for Boromir’s comfort. I don’t feel Boromir would be thankful to him for speaking to Faramir thus and treating Faramir thus. Especially since this chapter reveals to us that Faramir is still very young. He is spirited, and passionate, and very devoted, but… maybe he’s a bit too young to deal with all of this?
And what is his standing on Boromir’s feelings for him? So far we have heard nothing on this, except that what he has learned has not stayed him from searching for Boromir, and apparently has not cut off his love for his brother. But… I don’t know, I don’t like Theodred doing what he does, even if eventually it will lead to the brothers’ benefit. Boromir has suffered much, and Faramir has endured much worry, and no doubt he will be greatly pained when he learns what depths of suffering Boromir had been subjected to. I guess we could say Faramir too will sustain a mental trauma – and amid all of this, Theodred seducing/taunting him? Come on, Theodred, is this really what the young man needs at the moment?

December    Sunday 29 July 2012, 7:34    #

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