Faramir Fiction Archive

That which you can never have (NC-17)

Written by Anorienbean

24 April 2007 | 23005 words

Chapter 11

It took them many days and nights to get to Lothlórien, and with each step further away from Gondor they took, Faramir’s heart felt a bit lighter.

Riding for long periods of time still made him sore, but he never complained to Haldir. Haldir, however, always seemed to know just when he was getting uncomfortable. He would pull Nahar to a stop, wrap both arms around Faramir, and gracefully leap to the ground, claiming he needed to stretch his legs for a while. He would carry Faramir for many leagues, as if he weighed no more than a child, talking and laughing and stopping now and then to simply kiss him. In the evenings, they would bathe in a stream, or Haldir would let Faramir rest beneath a shade tree while he found them food.

As they stopped late one night to bathe in a warm lake still several days from Lothlórien, Faramir refused to let Haldir go. Their baths so far had been mostly innocent, with Haldir listening intently to the forest around them as Faramir relaxed and learned to swim using only his hands and arms, or washed Haldir’s hair, or simply curled against him and closed his eyes, enjoying the way the golden Elf’s skin felt against his own as the water swirled gently around them. He felt free in the water, as if he were no longer a burden to anyone, and hoped that wherever he ended up living for good, there would be water nearby.

Faramir found the he could distract Haldir from his listening by touching him in certain places, the crook of his neck, behind his knees, the insides of his thighs, or the column of flesh between his legs that invariably got hard the moment Faramir’s clothes had been removed.

Several days before, Haldir had kissed Faramir’s face and neck, then his nipples and stomach, and then, Gods, then he had taken Faramir into his mouth, licking and sucking until the young man had screamed his release for all to hear. Naturally, he had to try this on Haldir was well, and was surprised at how much pleasure the act brought them both. The first time he even came as his lover did, without ever having touched himself.

For as long as Haldir would have him, Faramir thought, he would revel in their intimate touches, and would certainly remember them for the rest of his life.

But once, Haldir had told him there was even more they could share, and though Faramir was doubtful that he was serious, or, at the very least, that whatever ‘more’ there was would be as wonderful as what they were already doing, he was more than willing to explore all their options.

As the water soothed and relaxed his sore muscles, Faramir swam up to Haldir and wrapped both arms around his neck, kissing him soundly. Haldir smiled, leaned back against the rock behind him, and let his hands roam over his lover’s backside and legs, sighing softly as they kissed again.

When Faramir pulled away, he was breathless and flushed and already their arousals were grinding against each other. “Show me more,” he whispered softly.

“More?” Haldir’s mind was still reeling from their kiss, and it took him a moment to figure out what Faramir was asking him. “Oh. More.” He studied his lover’s face seriously, then nodded. “Yes, meleth. I will show you more.”

They kissed again as Haldir carried his lover from the water, then carefully deposited him on a soft bed of leaves. As warm lips moved over his skin, it seemed to Faramir that Haldir kissed him over every inch of his body except the now aching length between his legs. Each time he tried to reach down and touch himself, Haldir would gently move his hands away, promising him that if he would only be patient, he would make sure Faramir wouldn’t regret it. The breeze was cool and welcomed over his flushed skin as Haldir licked away the last droplets of water, causing Faramir’s heart to beat entirely too fast, and his breath to come in short, harsh little pants that made Haldir smile.

Despite his distraction, Faramir couldn’t keep from watching Haldir as his lips moved over too-thin and too-pale legs – legs that had been useless for almost all of life, legs that had made his father hate him, and condemned him to a lonely, hopeless life in the sickhouse that no one wanted to look at or speak of in all of Gondor. But Haldir… he treated Faramir’s legs as he did every other part of his body, not shying away or simply ignoring the thin limbs; instead, he kissed them, nipped lightly at them when they were playing, rubbed them when Faramir had been riding for too long or let his fingertips move lovingly over every inch of them to relax tensed muscles when they ached for no reason at all.

Haldir took Faramir into his mouth again, making him even harder in no time at all, but this time, he pulled away before Faramir could find his release. Moaning in frustration, Faramir’s fists clutched at the leaves below him and he told himself to be patient and trust the Elf he loved.

Haldir had dropped their packs underneath the tree, and he pulled away from Faramir only long enough to reach inside for the small vial of oil he used to keep Nahar’s saddle treated. As Faramir tried to reach down and touch himself again, Haldir smiled, kissed his palm, and moved his hand away again, then gently rolled him over until he was lying on his side, and they were facing each other. Haldir was as hard as Faramir, his heart racing in a mixture of anticipation and need, along with a not-so-healthy measure of nervousness. He was afraid of hurting his lover, but didn’t want to hold anything back from him either… though he couldn’t seem to stop his hands from shaking as he opened the oil and slicked his fingers.

One hand rested on the side of Faramir’s face so that he could stare into lust darkened blue eyes as the other trailed slowly over his backside, gently kneading the muscles that were stiff and sore from riding and sitting for… well, for all of his life. “Just tell me if you need me to stop,” he whispered. His fingers moved down to tease the virginal opening between the round globes, skimming over the sensitive wrinkled skin and pulling away when Faramir gasped and simply nodded.

Pulling him closer, yet still watching his face, a single, long Elven finger pressed against Faramir just as Haldir’s lips captured his lover’s again in a slow, sweet kiss. Shaking arms wound around his neck and Faramir was filled with an anticipation like he’d never known in all life. As the fingertip breached his body, he gasped and tangled his fingers in long golden hair. It didn’t hurt, but he could feel the puckered skin and underlying muscles stretching as the digit pressed in deeper. He didn’t understand what was happening, what Haldir had in mind… and how he thought Faramir could possibly be any kind of a lover to him, if, indeed, that was where this was leading.

He pulled away from the kiss breathlessly and Haldir’s finger stopped moving at once. “Am I hurting you?”

“No, I just… ”

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No. I… do you think I can do this? I mean… be with you like a… well, like a real lover?”

Haldir’s hand brushed the hair back from Faramir’s forehead and he smiled. “You are my lover, Faramir. You have been for quite a while now.”

“But we’ve… we’ve never… ”

“Shh… ” Kiss swollen lips moved lightly over Faramir’s face and neck, making his mind feel hazy and the words hard to find.

“I love you, Faramir,” Haldir whispered. “Don’t worry about anything else. Just tell me if I hurt you.”

Faramir closed his eyes and nodded, burying his face against Haldir’s neck and murmuring in agreement.

Haldir’s finger slid in a little deeper, then a little more, but Faramir could still feel the way his body fought the intrusion automatically. He was suddenly worried that it would hurt, and he would make a fool of himself even as he proved to Haldir that he could never be enough for him.

Moments later, however, he felt empty as his lover’s finger slipped from inside him. He looked down, seeing his still hard flesh resting against Haldir’s stomach and wondered if he’d done something wrong already and Haldir was giving up on him. But Haldir was simply slicking his fingers again, and as his lips were captured in another kiss, two fingers were carefully inserted, stretching him further. That was a little more uncomfortable, but he didn’t think it was possible for Haldir to move any slower. His fingers were barely moving as it was. Then, without warning, the probing digits rubbed over that small bundle of nerves deep inside him, and Faramir cried out and pulled away from the kiss, breathing heavily, his muscles clenching around Haldir’s fingers as he tried to figure out what had just happened.

“Don’t, love… we’ll talk later. For now, just close your eyes, and trust me.”

Still panting for air, Faramir hesitated for only a moment and then shifted his hips back, wanting to see if he could manage that feeling again. But Haldir was one step ahead of him, already flicking at his most sensitive spot even as he pulled him closer and ground their erections together. Faramir was too tight, the skin too fragile, and even though Haldir was certain his lover trusted him, he was still too nervous to completely relax and let Haldir prepare him.

A change of plans would be the surest way to make this easier, and the change directly involved the very spot he was rubbing at that moment. He sucked on Faramir’s neck and rocked his hips, grinding their arousals together as he attacked the nub of nerves with his fingertips again, rubbing relentlessly.

Faramir, by this time, was incoherent, and gripping Haldir’s shoulders so hard there would be deep bruises there the next morning… bruises he would apologize for and kiss and feel guilty about; bruises that Haldir would be proud of, however, and assure his lover that he didn’t mind.

Haldir’s hand slid down between them and wrapped around Faramir’s now dripping sex, stroking him firmly. Almost at once, Faramir let out a strangled cry and spilled between them, his release spurting over both their chests and stomachs, covering the head of Haldir’s own swollen length. The muscles around Haldir’s fingers gripped him harder, then relaxed, and, just as Haldir had hoped, he was able to move them in and out of Faramir’s body with almost no trouble at all. He added another finger as slowly as he had the first two and stretched the small ring of muscles still further as Faramir trembled and gasped for breath, clinging to him with what little strength was left in his body.

Carefully pulling his hand away, Haldir simply wrapped both arms around his lover, whispering soft, nonsensical words against his ear as he held him through the aftermath of his orgasm, soothing and kissing every inch of skin he could reach between softly spoken endearments.

Faramir was barely able to think as he lay shivering and messy and stunned to realize that that tiny spot had existed inside him for all his life, and he’d never known about it. “There can’t be more than this,” he whispered against an elegantly pointed ear.

Haldir smiled at the innocence and wonder in his lover’s voice and loosened his embrace. He maneuvered them both until they were spooned together, with Faramir’s back against Haldir’s chest. Haldir reached between them and repositioned his erection so that it curved between Faramir’s legs, pressing against the young man’s now spent arousal and the delicate sac that hung below. He lifted his lover’s leg and began rocking, letting his rigid length rub lightly over now oversensitized flesh, slowly bringing Faramir’s arousal back to full hardness.

When he pulled away, Faramir moaned in protest, but this time Haldir didn’t stop him from touching himself. His erection was already slick with Faramir’s release, and as Faramir was distracted and rocking into his own hand, Haldir parted his lover’s legs and positioned himself against the small opening he’d so carefully prepared.

Faramir froze immediately. He wanted Haldir, there was no doubt about that, but he well knew how thick the Elf’s sex was, and he was certain the act of making love would tear him apart. “Haldir… ”

“It’s all right, love,” Haldir whispered, feeling his lover tense in his arms. “Do you want me to stop?”

Faramir took a deep breath, told himself that he had to do this for Haldir’s sake, and shook his head. “No… I’m all right. I’m sorry… just… go slowly?”

“Faramir, I would die before I would hurt you. You know that, don’t you?”

He did know it. Haldir had proven himself so many times over the last weeks, that Faramir wondered why he was even afraid. He nodded, took another deep breath, and closed his eyes. “Take me,” he whispered softly. “I’m yours, Haldir – I always have been and I always will be.”

Haldir positioned Faramir’s leg forward and bent at the knee, then moved his hand to rest on his lower stomach, holding him still as he gently pushed forward, stopping when just the head of his arousal had slipped inside. He could hear Faramir breathing heavily, and could sense that he was still a bit afraid, no matter how hard he was trying not to be. After a lifetime of being told he was a failure, Faramir always was afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing… even in a situation like this. That was one habit Haldir was determined to break him of.

Gritting his teeth in an effort to stay still, Haldir closed his eyes and kissed the back of his lover’s neck, whispering softly, promising to stop if Faramir needed him too. One arm lay beneath Faramir’s head, as his free hand moved to lightly rub over already-hard nipples, then lower, tugging lightly on Faramir’s length, hoping to keep him distracted.

It seemed, for them both, to take forever, but finally, Faramir relaxed and nodded. “I’m fine,” he whispered as his hand strayed back down between his legs and his fingers joined Haldir’s to stroke himself. “More, love… more.”

Haldir moaned at his lover’s words, but did as he asked. His hips moved forward, and he could feel Faramir’s body accepting him inch by inch. He let his fingers drift from Faramir’s erection to his inner thigh, caressing him softly. Lifting his leg high in the air, he pulled Faramir back against him, loving the tight, velvety heat surrounding him, the way Faramir had put so much trust into him, the way they fit together so perfectly. He began to thrust, slowly, shallowly at first, then faster and deeper, judging the speed and depth by the rhythm of Faramir’s hand as he stroked himself.

For his part, Faramir was certain he would lose his mind. The pain, what little there had been, was long gone. Now he now simply felt a blissful pleasure he couldn’t find the words to describe, and a completeness he never thought he, of all people, would ever experience. He began to move, taking Haldir in deeper, until he was controlling their lovemaking completely, wanting all Haldir could give him.

Though neither of them wanted it to end, both Man and Elf were soon moving together as one, drawing closer to their releases with every passing moment. Faramir came first, as his sweet spot was slammed into again and again, and his vision dimmed. His entire body clamped around Haldir’s length and he came hard followed only moments later by his Elven lover. They both cried out loudly as their releases washed over them and Haldir held Faramir tight against him as his entire body began to tremble. “I’ve got you, love,” he murmured against his lover’s ear. “I’ll always have you… ”

Faramir had never felt such peace as Haldir held him though the aftermath of his orgasm. He felt completely relaxed and for the first time in his life, forgot that he wasn’t ‘normal.’ “Gods, I’ve never… I didn’t know… ”

Haldir smiled and nuzzled against his lover’s neck. “I know, meleth… I know.”

And Faramir thought that perhaps Haldir did know, or at least, he understood. “Can we do this again?” he asked as he felt his lover slip from inside him and managed to turn to face the golden Elf. “Often?”

Relieved that he hadn’t hurt Faramir, Haldir chuckled softly and kissed the tip of his nose. “As often as you like.”

“Good.” Faramir’s breathing was slowly returning to normal and he snuggled close to his lover. “I think I’d like that quite often if… if you enjoyed it as well.”

Haldir moved one arm to gently tilt Faramir’s face up until their gazes met. “I loved it,” he said softly. “I love you.”

Faramir smiled and sighed in utter contentment. “I love you too, Haldir, so very much. I… ” His words were cut off as Haldir sat up, bringing Faramir with him, as he was still holding him close. “Someone’s on the other side of the hill,” the Elf whispered. “And they’re coming this way.”

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