Faramir Fiction Archive

That which you can never have (NC-17)

Written by Anorienbean

24 April 2007 | 23005 words

Chapter 16

Haldir and Boromir came to an uneasy agreement over the next days, though they avoided one another as often as they could. While Haldir finished up work on their new talan, Boromir would push Faramir along the trail Haldir had cleared for Faramir’s moving chair. They would talk for hours, then Boromir would return his brother to Haldir’s more than capable hands until the next day.

Haldir would have been jealous, had Faramir not been so innocently happy and glad to be back home when he returned every evening. He would wrap his arms around Haldir’s neck, and settle against him, always insisting on at least a few sweet kisses before they discussed their days. As often as not, it would be an hour or so later before they managed to move on to something else, but neither Man nor Elf were complaining.

Faramir would tell Haldir everything Boromir had talked to him about in the previous hours – mostly about Gondor and the family that Faramir had never known – and though Haldir still didn’t care for his lover’s brother, he didn’t have the heart to tell Faramir how he felt.

Boromir, always the restless sort, usually ended up wandering around Lothlórien after he saw Faramir safely home. The Elves were a bit weary of him, but he did eventually make friends… and catch the eye of one Elf in particular. They began spending time together, sharing their meals, taking long walks, and finally, Boromir began spending his nights at a talan other than his own.

Haldir, of course, had no idea. He had been too involved in doing what he could to make life easier for his lover, and helping him strengthen his arms so he could move from their bed to his chair and vice versa, if he needed to when Haldir was not around. Faramir marveled at how many things he actually could do, and loved Haldir even more for showing him how to be independent.

Haldir taught him everything from reading the books written in Elvish he had collected over the years to cooking meals fit for the most discerning Man or Elf. Most evenings were spent cooking side by side then simply relaxing together in their talan, or in one of their favorite clearings by the lake.

Day by day, Faramir grew more confident in his own abilities. Rather than putting distance between himself and Haldir, however, his new outlook on life brought them even closer together. He felt more like Haldir’s lover and mate than the useless being he had always seen himself as for most of his life.

And though Haldir was beside himself with anxiety, when Faramir wanted to go to the market alone, Haldir swallowed back his fear and waved goodbye as his lover wheeled down the path that led to their talan. And, of course, when Faramir returned that night and announced that he had ran into Boromir earlier that day and invited him and his date for dinner, Haldir knew better than to say a word. He had after all, told Faramir it was his talan as much as it was Haldir’s.

He was stunned speechless, however, when Boromir arrived later that night with Lord Celeborn.

The golden Lord had simply smiled at Haldir, complimented him on his ingenuity in designing the new talan, and sat down at the small table where dinner was already waiting.
Dinner went well, and if things were a bit strained between Haldir and Boromir still, they did manage to make it through their meal with only a few cross words. More than once, they had even amused one another, though both tried to hide it.

Celeborn and Faramir looked at each other and shared a sly grin. Haldir and Boromir were very much alike – anyone could have seen that – and despite themselves, they would end up as friends, if only because they both loved Faramir with every fiber of their beings. Faramir, as innocent and blameless as anyone could possibly be, was not above a bit of pouting with either of them to see that it happened, either, and Celeborn fully approved. Boromir was, if Celeborn had anything to say about it, going to be a full time resident in Lothlórien, just as Faramir would be.

“They are in love,” Faramir observed later that night as he lifted himself from his chair to their bed, comfortable in his own nudity in a way he would never have thought possible as Haldir slipped out of his breeches. “Much like we are.”

“Lord Celeborn is not… I mean… he could not…”

“They are in love.” Faramir put his hand over his mouth to hide his smile. “If you could love me, then why are you so sure Lord Celeborn cannot love Boromir?”

“Because Boromir is a…”

“Yes?”

Haldir simply scowled as he lifted his tunic over his head and crawled into bed beside his lover, remembering that Boromir had nearly killed Faramir. Granted, he hadn’t known it was his brother, and he was only following orders, but Haldir had no intention of letting things go that easily. “Never mind.”

Moving closer, Faramir let his hand trail over Haldir’s chest, then lower, tugging lightly at the half-hard flesh between his legs. The organ responded immediately to his touch, filling and growing more rigid by the moment as the Elf wrapped his arms around the Man he loved and kissed him, hoping to forget this conversation had ever happened.

Faramir returned the kiss, his soft moans lost in the heat of Haldir’s mouth, until they both had to pull away for air. The flesh in his hand was now completely hard, as was his own sex, and he couldn’t help moving closer, pressing the thickened organ against Haldir’s thigh. “So, do you think Lord Celeborn lets Boromir take him?” he asked between nips and tiny kisses to Haldir’s neck.

“Do I think… Gods, Faramir, I had rather not think about that at all!”

Snickering, but not giving up on his gentle assault, Faramir’s hand kept moving, keeping Haldir’s arousal full and heavy. “I just mean, it is hard for me to picture someone like Lord Celeborn taking him… but then I cannot imagine Boromir allowing that either, so…”

Haldir finally pulled away and leaned up on one elbow. “Are you hinting at something, gûren?”

Faramir flushed furiously and looked down between them, where Haldir’s hand rested over his own, stopping his gentle teasing. “No, I just…”

“Faramir, I told you, you can tell me anything. You know I can deny you nothing. Is that what you are thinking? That you would like to take me?”

The blush staining Faramir’s cheeks grew even more pronounced, but he nodded his head. “You have always told me I could do anything, and I have been thinking about it… not that I don’t love what we…”

Long arms wrapped around him and Haldir kissed him so long and so tenderly, Faramir could barely think. “Aye, meleth,” the Elf whispered as he pulled away. “I would love to feel you inside me.”

Faramir looked up in astonishment. Truly, he had expected Haldir to tell him that this simply wasn’t possible, that when he said Faramir could do anything, he hadn’t meant that.

Long Elven fingers dipped into the jar beside their bed and carefully coated Faramir’s fingers. “Haldir… I… I mean, we don’t have to…” He stopped, suddenly nervous and worried that he would do nothing more than make a fool of himself. “I don’t know what to do…”

“Melethen, we have made love many times over the past months,” Haldir said, lifting his fingers to trail over Faramir’s jaw. “Just do as I have always done. Prepare me first, then the rest will come naturally.”

Gods, why did I ever think… Faramir’s nervousness had caused his arousal to wane a bit, but, he noticed that Haldir was still hard. He saw loving blue eyes gazing at him with such trust, however, and he wondered if that was what Haldir had seen in his own eyes the first time they had made love.

“Here… it will be easier if I roll over.” With that, Haldir gave Faramir a sweet kiss, rolled over on his stomach, then tucked a pillow beneath his stomach and parted his legs. The image made Faramir’s arousal twitch with renewed interest and return to full hardness almost immediately. He saw Haldir regarding him with dark eyes and gave him as confident a smile as he could manage, though his hand was shaking as it hung in mid air above the smooth curve of his lover’s backside.

“It is all right,” Haldir whispered, reaching back and giving Faramir’s free hand a gentle squeeze. “Just go slowly.”

Finally, Faramir nodded and gently explored the cleft before him. He leaned forward, doing as Haldir always did with him, and distracted the Elf with sweet kisses over his shoulders, neck and arm. He found the tiny opening with no trouble at all, and carefully let his fingertip tease the puckered skin, smiling when Haldir shuddered and spread his legs further. Faramir’s fingers slipped in to the first knuckle and he moaned softly as gripping muscles clenched around him. Gods… for the Elf to be so well endowed in other areas, this most intimate of places inside him was incredibly tight. Faramir wondered how it was possible that he could ever…

“Gods, Haldir, have you never given yourself to anyone before?”

The golden Elf chuckled and looked over his shoulder at Faramir again. “You ask too many questions, my dear one.”

Faramir froze and carefully pulled his finger away. “I… I had no idea and you surely don’t want…”

“You would deny me this?” Haldir’s voice was soft, but determined, and he wasn’t about to loose this argument. “I have wanted you, Faramir. I just was not sure if you were ready.”

“I’m not! Not for this… not for your first…”

“Faramir.”

“No, Haldir, I could hurt you and…”

Haldir twisted his arm back, and slipped first one, then two of his own fingers inside himself. The sensation was uncomfortable at first, and slightly painful, but he kept his face perfectly neutral as he watched Faramir’s eyes widen and watch as he stretched himself. “Come, love… help me…”

Almost against his will, Faramir leaned forward and rubbed the skin where it was stretched smooth and pink around Haldir’s fingers. His own finger was still slick and he slowly worked the tip in alongside Haldir’s, whimpering as the wrinkled skin stretched even further and opened before him. His own sex dripped onto the sheets beneath them and he thought seriously that if only he reached down and touched himself once, it would surely negate the need for any further activities on his part.

“By the Valar, Faramir, I will never forgive you if you stop now,” Haldir managed as he rolled his hips, pushing the trio of digits deep inside him again and again and gripping the pillow beneath him with his free hand.

Slowly, Faramir relaxed, remembering the pleasurable aspects of being on the receiving end of being filled so completely. Pushing his finger in as far as he could, he searched for that one spot inside his lover that he knew would make him a writhing mess. He found it immediately, and though Haldir had often tormented the little nub of nerves in Faramir and the other lovers he had had over the years, he truly had no idea what an affect it would have on him.

“Oh, Gods, Faramir,” he whimpered, pulling his fingers away and letting Faramir’s finger rub relentless over what was, apparently, the most incredibly sensitive gland in his entire body. He tried to wait, but Faramir was having none of it, now actively pushing inside Haldir with his own three fingers, and marveling that he could hold this power over such an exquisite creature.

Haldir slid his knees under him and reached down, stroking his now leaking arousal in time with Faramir’s movements. The fingers inside him moved in a perfect rhythm, speeding up as he got closer and closer to his own release and finally pressing down hard when tight muscles clamped down around them in anticipation of Haldir’s finally letting go.

The Elf came hard on the pillow beneath him, spilling over his fingers and crying out Faramir’s name, his entire body seeming to contract, then release. He could only moan when Faramir gently pulled his hand away, and lay breathing heavily as the room seemed to spin around them and he tried to dispel the fog that had settled around his brain.

It took him only a moment to regain his senses, however, as he could see that Faramir was harder than ever and the same fingers that had been inside him were now wrapped around his lover’s shaft. “Oh no,” Haldir grumbled, reaching over and pulling his lover’s hand away, causing Faramir to growl at him. “You are not getting away with that…” Quickly, the Elf was on his knees and straddling Faramir’s thin hips. He stroked the heavy length that curved up between them only enough to smear the fluid leaking from the tip over the swollen head and then moved into position. Reaching behind him, Haldir parted the globes of his backside and held Faramir’s arousal against the now well-stretched and slick opening that was more than ready for him. He pushed down slowly, taking Faramir in inch by inch, gasping as he was stretched even wider, but watching his lover’s face contort with pleasure.

Faramir was shaking and covered in a thin sheen of sweat, both from the overwhelming desire he’d felt watching Haldir come undone under his ministrations, and from the now exquisite feeling of being buried inside the tight, heated passage he had never really thought he would know quite so intimately. It was like nothing he’d ever felt before, and his arousal gave a small but violent jerk and sent a thin jet of fluid deep inside Haldir’s passage. His hands rested on firm Elven thighs, and it was all he could do to keep from trying to thrust up and find his release at that very moment.

The only thing stopping him was the look in Haldir’s eyes, the look that said he wanted more, he wanted Faramir in a way no one else had ever wanted or needed him, but that he wasn’t quite ready yet. One deep breath helped calm Faramir’s racing heart. The second stopped the worst of the trembling. The third found unbelievably tight muscles relaxing bit by bit around his shaft.

He wanted to move then, and he could see that Haldir was ready, but there was one thing he wanted to do even more than that. Leaning up, he wrapped both arms around this Elf who had given him so much and asked for nothing in return, and kissed him with all the love and joy in him.

It all seemed to happen naturally after that. Haldir melted into the kiss, never breaking it as he began to rock his hips again, slowly at first, then with longer, deeper flexes of his thighs, lifting himself up until Faramir’s shaft was almost free, then pushing back down, harder and faster each time. Haldir’s hands were lovingly moving over Faramir’s face and neck until he began to grow hard again, but Faramir, unwilling to give up the sensation of being held so completely both inside his lover’s body and by the hands that had taught him and given him so much, reached between them and wrapped around Haldir’s erection, assuring them both that those long Elven fingers would keep touching him.

Haldir’s flesh was hot against his palm, the fluid that seeped out easing each thrust into his fist, causing Haldir to move faster and faster. Faramir lost his restraint first, gripping Haldir’s hip hard enough to bruise with one hand as the other tightened around his cock. He was limited in his ability to thrust since he couldn’t use his legs, but Haldir was driving himself down so hard and fast, Faramir couldn’t have been buried more deeply inside him had he pushed himself up from the bed anyway. With a loud cry, his release slammed into him, filling the passage surrounding his arousal with thick, warm jets of his own essence, even as Haldir came for a second time all over his chest and stomach.

Faramir fell back against the bed, but not until after he’d wrapped his arms around Haldir’s shoulders and pulled him against him. They lay together, breathing hard and trembling, both with relaxed, rather silly expressions on their faces.

“Well, it seems that I can do that after all,” Faramir observed, trying and failing miserably at sounding innocent.

Haldir laughed and propped himself up on one arm. “I do believe you can,” he agreed, licking at his lover’s lips, then carefully rolling from on top of him. “And very well at that.”

“All these years, and you have never let anyone take you.” The realization hit Faramir again as he realized just how old Haldir was.

“All these years, and I have never loved anyone like I love you,” Haldir whispered. “I have never wanted anyone else, nor have I given my heart away so utterly and completely as I have given it to you, Gûren. It is a simple as that.”

Faramir moved so that he lay facing the Elf who had changed his life in more ways than he could count. He was still young in the years of Man, and he had lived a life that no one would wish on their worst enemy. He had known pain and hatred, shame and loneliness, cruelty and vindictiveness. His own father had denied him, wished him dead, and tried to have him killed after destroying the only gift Faramir had ever been given by someone who cared for him.

Despite all that, Faramir thought as he gazed into the clear blue eyes before him and wound soft golden hair around his fingers, he would not have traded the life he’d led thus far for anything, because his circumstances, no matter how degrading and overwhelming they had felt at the time, had led him here, to this gentle Elf who adored him, and to a life filled with happiness, acceptance, friends, and absolute, unconditional love – all the things that he had, for every moment of his existence, been taught that he was not worthy or deserving of. In short, Faramir thought in amazement as Haldir pulled him close and wrapped both arms around him, he had all of the very things that he thought that he could never, even in his wildest imaginations, ever have.

~_~ FIN ~_~

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