Faramir Fiction Archive

Love is... (NC-17)

Written by Sairalinde and Anorienbean

19 November 2009 | 145965 words

Chapter 12

Faramir had begun to grow accustomed to the routine of his new life. He missed spending time outdoors, missed the woods he had spent so much time in as a Ranger and missed the feeling of warm sun on his skin and missed his dear brother but… life in D’Hara wasn’t so bad. He didn’t feel completely like a prisoner… perhaps because his ‘prison’ was so lavish and the fact that he had sex in an abnormally high amount with a man he was starting to truly like, not just desire. Yes, there were things like Rahl’s temper that he didn’t like but no one was perfect and Rahl had seemed to calm some or Faramir was just growing accustomed to his moods. Either way, Faramir found himself basically… happy.

He had plenty of books to read. No one berating him. No worries about being attacked by orcs constantly and… he could sleep in a real, very decadent bed with an absolutely gorgeous if touchy bed partner. Things could have been much worse he supposed and counted himself fortunate that he was here and not captured by minions of Sauron instead.

This day began like many others, hot, sweaty sex followed by baths and breakfast and a walk to Rahl’s library. Only this morning when they passed by a window they passed each morning, the sheer beauty struck Faramir. It was spring in this world and it seemed he had not noticed in the previous days how glorious this world truly could be. The view was stunning and he stood at the window, enjoying the sight of green trees, lush grass and flowers. D’Hara was a beautiful place and Faramir didn’t notice that Rahl had gotten so far ahead of him before the guard cleared his throat, obviously afraid to say something but wanting to.

“I just remembered a story you might like about…” Rahl turned toward Faramir and was surprised to find that he was walking alone. Normally, he would have been worried that someone was trying to get to him via his favorite slave, but for some reason, on that day, he was suddenly only worried about Faramir’s well being. His robes flared out as he turned and quickly retraced his steps, calling out Faramir’s name at the top of his voice. He passed several guards and began snapping orders, angry that no one seemed to know where the other man was. “If someone has taken him, every guard on this floor will pay very, very dearly,” he warned the guard nearest him. “And if any harm has come to him, your lives will be forfeit – every last one of you.”

Faramir turned from the window upon hearing Rahl’s voice bellowing just up the hallway and the guard looked absolutely ready to jump out of his skin. His job was to stay with Rahl but if he had walked ahead of Faramir and left him, it would take hours trying to find the man again. If Rahl heard him speak to Faramir he’d lose his tongue, he was sure of it, so he’d stood within sight of the young man but not too close… just wanting to make sure that the castle didn’t decide to swallow him up.

Rahl’s voice made him jump and he looked from Faramir back toward where his master was coming.

Faramir sighed. “Oh for pity’s sake,” he murmured under his breath and began heading toward Rahl’s voice, when the irate man turned the corner looking almost frantic, Faramir looked at him oddly and bowed his head. “My lord?”

Rahl’s knees nearly felt weak as he saw Faramir, though his anger spiked with he saw the look on his face. “Where in the name of…” He stopped just short of running over his lover and, gritting his teeth, grabbed his forearm. “You are never to leave my side when we are in this castle,” he gritted out, nearly shaking with the effort not to simply spell Faramir over his knees and teach him a lesson right then and there. “I had half my army searching for you. Do you have any idea, any idea at all, what happens to nonmagical people who try and wander these halls alone?”

Faramir gasped when Rahl grabbed his arm roughly and shook his head. “Half your army, my lord? I… was only right here at the window for a few moments. I… I did not know… what happens to nonmagical people?” Faramir asked finally once his mind sorted what Rahl had said. Were there some sort of malevolent beings or something? Faramir had never seen any if there were, though he had read of them in his world. “I was not entirely alone, my lord. I stopped to see the view, your land is so beautiful and… I didn’t realize I lingered. Bergan looked… lost. He started to pass me and then stopped but he would not speak to me. He just stood over there watching and waiting… I don’t understand, my lord?”

Jerking around to stare at the guard Faramir mentioned, Rahl nodded at him gratefully. “You are never suppose to leave my side,” he said in a hoarse voice. “And if you ever do it again, you will be dismissed – painfully – but this time, you made the right choice, Bergan. You kept my wandering, all too fucking inquisitive slave from being lost, and obviously you followed orders and did not speak to him or he would know what is happening.” He glared back at Faramir again, not releasing his arm, and started down the hallway toward the library. Keeping Faramir safe meant a lot to Rahl – more than he could say, and he did reward those who served him when they did something well or proved their loyalty. He stopped again, and held out his hand. Out of nowhere, a small jeweled dagger appeared. “Bergan. You know the consequences if you ever try to harm me, but this is for you. For keeping my slave safe. Had you not been here, I would have lost him to the castle, and even I might not be able to find him again if that happened.”

Faramir felt badly for Bergan as Rahl berated him at first but then he told him he made the right choice. Faramir tried not to narrow his eyes at the rest of Rahl’s words about his inquisitiveness and was jerked along behind the man like an errant child. Then suddenly Rahl stopped, a dagger appeared in his hand and Faramir almost flinched when he called the guards name. The guard tried to keep his face impassive but Faramir saw the flash of fear. Then Rahl gave him the dagger as a gift.

Bergan stared at his master. He had served Rahl for years and rarely was he ever rewarded. Several times he was read which was horrid afterwards or he was punished for mistakes. He almost gaped at the man and bowed before taking the dagger. “Thank you, my lord,” he said softly. He realized then that the slave was definitely different than the others to Rahl and he decided that he would watch him more carefully. The man did tend to look around at his surroundings in the castle more than he watched where he was going really… so he decided that from now on he would keep a better watch on him.

Turning his attention back to Faramir, Rahl made his way back down the hallway, Bergan falling easily in step behind them. He muttered something about a leash and a bell as he practically drug his lover along beside him and by the time they reached the library door, he was already trying to decide which other spells he could cast for his slave’s protection. The locks clicked into place one by one behind them, and Rahl, who hadn’t spoken to Faramir since he’d first found him, released his arm roughly. “I have lost dozens of slaves to this castle,” he snapped. “They have tried to run, or they have been too injured after our… too injured to keep up with me, but never have they simply stopped to look at something. Don’t you dare ever scare me like that again, do you understand me?”

Faramir almost stumbled; Rahl was moving so swiftly and practically dragging him to the library. When they arrived inside, Faramir turned to look at his lover. “How could I get lost looking out the window?” Faramir asked and then found himself stunned. He scared Rahl? “You… you were afraid for me?”

“I…” Rahl frowned, not even having realized he’d admitted having shown weakness. “Afraid I would have to find and train another slave, is more like it,” he growled, though that wasn’t exactly what his heart was telling him. “In all your reading, did you never once read about this castle? That the castle is magical in itself, that it changes from moment to moment and only those who possess magic or are with someone who does or have a special purpose on the master’s orders are safe?”

Faramir frowned when Rahl growled at him. “I liked it more before when I thought you were afraid for me,” Faramir muttered mostly to himself. “No, I hadn’t read about the castle, there doesn’t seem to be a lot written about it other than a special room just for practicing advanced magic. It just described it vaguely and sounded interesting but… that was it. Really, this may have been something nice for you to tell me before I almost get myself swallowed up into the walls or something,” Faramir groused and backed down a little. “I am sorry… I… I should not have said that. You chose not to tell me for whatever reason and I shouldn’t have disobeyed. I… I just… never mind. I am sorry, my lord,” he whispered. He’d almost said how much he missed the outdoors but he was afraid Rahl would take it wrong and think he wanted away from him so Faramir just sighed.

Crossing the room in only a few steps, Rahl grabbed Faramir’s robes and drug him close until they were chest to chest. “You would do well to watch your tone with me, pet. It is a courtesy I have never allowed anyone else, spending the day among my books, touching them, actually reading them, yet you carry on like some ungrateful servant who burns our dinner for a week then wonders why she is having to scrub the dishes rather than cook.” His temper was returning in full force thanks to Faramir’s words and he pushed the man roughly away before he did something he might regret. Stalking toward the library door, he knew he needed to get away from his lover, if only for a few minutes, for both their sakes. “I am going for a walk. You are not invited.”

Faramir stared into Rahl’s eyes that were dark and dangerous looking and he had to swallow back a lump in his throat. All of this because he stopped to look out a blasted window! When Rahl stopped to spell the locks on the door open, Faramir looked at him pleadingly. “I stopped to look out the window because it was so beautiful and because… I miss… I have not been outside this castle in over a month. I was a Ranger, I spent much time outdoors and I miss it sometimes. Miss the sunlight on my skin and your world is so beautiful… I’m sorry,” Faramir said as he bowed his head, expecting Rahl to finish unlocking the door and leave.

Rahl stopped, hand in mid air, with only 2 locks to go. The room was perfectly silent for a moment and he thought about all the times Faramir had tried so hard to keep him happy. It was quite possible, but much more difficult to protect himself and his people when he was outside the castle, so he rarely left, and when he did, thanks to his magic, it was a matter only a few moments travel to take him from one city to the next. “So… what? You wish to serve in my army rather than my bed?” he asked, keeping his voice steady. “Or you wish to return to your duties back in your world? Which is it?”

“Neither,” Faramir answered, surprising even himself. “I was just missing the feeling of being outdoors but I know… aren’t there any gardens in this place?” Faramir stopped his train of thought. “Where I am from you can’t walk thirty feet without coming out in some garden or other… don’t… don’t you miss the feeling of the sun on your skin? You are so golden skinned, I imagined that you spent a lot of time in the sun,” Faramir said finally. He was more curious than anything and he should not ask for too much, he knew that but a day or two spent in a warm inviting place would probably do Rahl much good as well. “You too could use some time to relax in the sun in a beautiful place. You work so much… it seems… unfair that I sit here reading while you toil over those ledgers and documents. I know you are at war with this seeker person but… do you ever take time for pleasure… uh… other than sex?”

“No, I do not,” Rahl said shortly, turning around and wondering both how Faramir didn’t see what was going on, and if he realized he’d just said he didn’t want to go home. “I have no time for anything else. There is a man out there who is determined to kill me, Faramir. It consumes his every waking thought, and so, if I am to live, it should consume mine as well.” As usual, his hand went up to his face. Though the scars were no longer there, he felt them in times likes these, when he was agitated or uncomfortable. “I have sex because it relaxes me. That is the only pleasure I have time for. I…” He closed his mouth with a snap and sighed, then turned back to the door and finished spelling it open. “Come with me. And by the dragon’s breath, STAY CLOSE.”

Faramir thought of his father and how he never left the citadel and his study, rarely venturing even out into the gardens around their home. He didn’t want to see Rahl that way; he was so much more than that. Faramir was surprised when Rahl said for him to come with him, only moments ago he’d told him he was not invited but apparently something of what he said made him change his mind. “Yes, my lord,” Faramir said practically running across the room to join his lover.

Rahl stepped outside the library and had to bite back a smile at the look on Bergan’s face. It almost looked as if the man thought he might be called in to fetch Faramir’s body. Rolling his eyes, he started to head down the hallway, but stopped, turned to his slave, and grabbed his arm. “No more walking behind me where I can’t see you. Stay within my eye sight at all times.” He addressed Bergan before Faramir could respond. “And you, Bergan… you may speak to him, if only to make sure he doesn’t lag behind. Just don’t ever touch him.” With that, he continued his way toward a part of the castle he’d rarely visited in all his years as master of the palace, dragging Faramir beside him and knowing his guard would follow.

Faramir was probably as surprised as Bergan when Rahl told him he may speak to him if just to make sure he was where he was supposed to be. He almost laughed nervously but with Rahl’s mood he knew better than to do that. He had no idea where Rahl was taking him but he hadn’t punished him yet so maybe he hadn’t completely messed up their entire day. He knew better than to ask where Rahl was taking him and wished that his hand would simply slide down his arm and take his hand so that he didn’t feel like such an errant child.

They walked for several minutes, Rahl’s pace quick and efficient as usual, the thought of stopping to look or enjoy his surroundings never occurring to him. When they finally reached the western side of the castle, he led Faramir down a final flight of stairs and stepped out onto a small grass-covered area with a dozen trees sheltering it. There was a strange haze in the air; Rahl’s magic acting as a shield around not only the castle, but this area as well, and on the far end, there was a small herb garden. Otherwise, there were few other plants or trees. “What kind of trees and flowers and such did you have in your city?” he asked, sounding almost bored even as he looked around appreciatively and breathed in the fresh air.

When they moved quickly down the halls, Faramir had no time to observe everything he wanted to. Tapestry’s and pieces of art that hung along the walls were just a blur to him as Rahl practically dragged him past it all. After what seemed a long time they went down a staircase and spilled out into a small garden. It was sparse, only a dozen trees and grass and a small patch of herbs and Faramir turned to look at his lover. “Well… there were roses, daisies, hollyhocks and day lilies that I recall from the flower garden, I believe my mother may have planted those… there were a few fruit tress too. I remember the apple tree vividly because Boromir and I would climb it and pick the fruit,” Faramir said remembering the garden near his own chambers in the citadel.

Rahl did his best to look uninterested, but he rarely had the chance to do things for others for no real reason, and it was, oddly enough, making him feel rather warm inside. Waving his hand and muttering, he filled the garden with just the plants Faramir mentioned in an instant and turned to face him. “Well? Anything else? Is this what you were missing and if I allow you to visit this place, will you stop wandering off? I have more important things to do than punish you, you know.”

Faramir’s face broke into a huge smile as suddenly flowers bloomed all around them, the scent of them making that small homesick part of him start to disappear. He turned slowly, looking all around and smiled even more brightly. “A bench to sit on would be nice… ours were always marble but far from comfortable,” Faramir said walking toward his lover, still smiling happily. “May I have permission to touch you, my lord?”

Automatically taking a step back as Faramir approached, Rahl narrowed his eyes at the man and waved a hand toward the garden. A bench, this one of ornate gold with thick cushions and curved arms on each side appeared just below the apple tree, and yet another spell was woven to keep it from getting wet when the rain spell was activated. “I… touch me?” His gaze moved over Faramir suspiciously, trying to remember when he’d cast his last spell over the man. “Why?”

“I would like to thank you properly, that is why,” Faramir said happily. “A hug or even… a kiss… or anything else you might like as well, but the hug and kiss are as much for me as for you because you’ve made me very happy,” he explained as he stood smiling adoringly at a man that was unaccustomed to being adored. Instead of punishing him, Rahl had given him a gift that he truly cherished and he wanted to thank the man without getting hurt by his magic in the process.

Rahl would have never even considered allowing anyone else to even ask what Faramir was asking for, but he had to admit, so far the man had behaved well. Lowering his defenses – some of them anyway, but never all – he stood stiffly and looked as if he was getting ready to be burned at the stake. “If it will keep you from complaining,” he sighed, though the look on his face in no way matched his words. He expected a quick kiss and squeeze of his arms, and averted his gaze so he wouldn’t have to see Faramir’s eyes as he did so, knowing the happiness would be erased as he forced himself to thank his master properly. Still, it felt odd… almost… nice for someone to make such a request, especially someone he desired so greatly.

Faramir was still smiling as Rahl grudgingly allowed him his request and moved closer. His body pressed against the firm body of his lover and his hands rose, one gently caressing the side of Rahl’s face while the other slipped into the soft hair at the nape of his neck. Faramir moved closer, his lips brushing lightly over Rahl’s and then pushing forward kissing him fully, his lips moving against his lover’s, licking at Rahl’s lower lip and sighing softly from just this small taste of the man.

Completely unconsciously, Rahl’s stiffness slowly drained away and he found himself leaning into the slightly taller man. His arms came up and rested awkwardly on Faramir’s hips, then somehow simply slid around his back seemingly of their own accord. The kiss – and the hug – lasted much longer than he’d expected, and he was slightly dazed when Faramir pulled away. He reasoned that one of his spells must have went a little off, but didn’t move away though he could feel Bergan’s gaze on them both. “I… Yes… Well… You must really like the garden,” he managed.

Faramir was slightly dazed when he pulled away from his lover and laughed softly. “I do and I like the wizard who made it possible by wanting to keep me happy even though I do not deserve it. Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me,” Faramir whispered softly, oblivious to Bergan in the doorway watching them with a flushed face. He’d never seen his master do anything nice for anyone before, yet he had thanked him and given him a gift and now he was giving this young slave a garden seemingly of his own. It was nothing to Lord Rahl to do these things, his magic was powerful but the fact that he even considered them was… amazing. He realized he had a newfound respect for Rahl’s slave… the dark wizard may not be any more softhearted than he ever was but… the young slave seemed to have brought the wizard a sort of balance to all that anger he had inside him. He even found himself smiling at the pair of them but quickly caught himself and averted his gaze.

Rahl started to agree – or possibly disagree – about how deserving Faramir was, but decided not to, since he wasn’t sure what his opinion really was at the moment. That damnable spell that had turned sideways and did strange things to his mind seemed to still be hanging around, because he hadn’t completely pulled away from the embrace yet. “Non magical people can traverse the castle hallways as long as they have a purpose,” he said, keeping his hands on Faramir’s lower back. “I will give you permission to visit this garden any time you like, but you will get lost if you stray from the path we took to get here. I just… I do not want you here all the time, but you may stay here until lunch if you like.”

“I will not abuse this privilege,” Faramir said softly, still holding his lover close. “But… I would like you to visit with me here sometimes. You know sex in the warm grass under the sunlight can be quite fun, especially here where the nature is made by magic,” he whispered and leaned forward to tug gently on Rahl’s bottom lip. “That bench looks comfortable as well,” he teased as he leaned back to look into dark blue eyes.

His mouth was suddenly very dry and in Rahl’s mind, the bench underneath the apple tree had a whole new appeal. He forgot his earlier sour mood and, in fact forgot that they weren’t alone. He turned toward the tree, his cheek still pressed against his lover’s so that Faramir’s gaze would follow his and he smiled wickedly. This time, he didn’t even bother waving his hand. As he and Faramir looked toward the bench, a pair of handcuffs connected by a long golden chain appeared over one limb of the apple tree and a black flogger with a half dozen strands draped over the back of the bench. “This entire garden is getting more interesting by the minute,” he murmured, kissing Faramir’s cheek.

Faramir grinned as the cuffs and flogger appeared and laughed softly as Rahl kissed his cheek. “I believe you just might be right,” he whispered. He turned to look into Rahl’s eyes, they were sparkling with amusement and desire and Faramir knew his own were too. “Do you have to rush back to your study now or… can I at least send you back in a much more relaxed mood, my lord? Or, perhaps if you go now it will give you incentive to return to me more quickly?” Faramir’s words were teasingly said, knowing that Rahl could do as he pleased whenever he pleased but it was a fun game at least to pretend they were actual lovers, at least for Faramir. He found himself at times wishing it were true… that Rahl saw him as more than a slave, if not an equal at least as someone truly cared for.

Rahl leaned back a bit and frowned, though he kept his hands on Faramir’s back. “I… you… Why? I… I don’t understand you at all, Faramir. I have given you your garden, I can summon a few books, and we were both satisfied physically less than an hour ago. Why in all the Midlands would you wish for me to stay?”

This again. It always came back to Rahl doubting Faramir’s desires. “No, I suppose you do not understand me at all,” Faramir said softly. He leaned forward and brushed his lips against Rahl’s again, since he’d given permission earlier Faramir wasn’t about to waste any chance to touch the man of his own volition. “If I say my true reasons we will just end up in another argument. You accusing me of lying and me denying it as always but I actually do like spending time with you.”

Gasping as Faramir kissed him again, Rahl felt slightly dazed when he pulled away. Before he could say anything, he let his instincts guide him and suddenly found his hand on Faramir’s neck, renewing the kiss with the same breathless need he’d taken him with earlier that morning. Faramir did something to him, and a part of Rahl wondered if the man was really a wizard of some sort he’d never heard of before. He explored every single bit of his slave’s mouth, some more than once, and when he finally had to draw another breath, he found he’d pushed Faramir against the side of the castle and was pressing hard against him. His head tilted forward and he rested their foreheads together, trying to catch his breath. “I… I suppose I could stay for a short while,” he conceded. “If… If only to show you around the garden a bit more.”

Faramir was surprised that Rahl had not accused him of lying this time, that he hadn’t argued. It felt… wonderful. The next kiss was deeper and made his heart skip in his chest and his pulse pound in his ears. When his back hit the solid stone of the castle wall, Faramir moaned against Rahl’s lips as his own hands sank into his lover’s hair, holding and caressing and loving every single moment. From chest to thigh he could feel Rahl’s body against his, burning into him and it made him shiver as they drew apart for breath. “I would enjoy that very much, my lord,” he whispered against kiss-swollen lips. “Though, another kiss like that might just make everything around us burst into flames right here and now,” he teased softly, his fingers still toying with his lover’s soft hair.

At the mention of flames, Rahl jumped and pushed Faramir away from him so quickly both men almost fell. He was torn between actually checking his lover for burns and simply staying out of the fire’s way should there indeed be one. It took him a moment to make sense of what the words really meant. By the time he did, he was shaking and pale, and despite the cool air, his forehead was covered in a thin sheen of sweat. “You mock me?” he hissed, backing away from Faramir and looking at him with wide, angry eyes. “You actually tease me about the one thing I hate more than the seeker? How dare you?”

Faramir was stunned and fell back against the castle wall as he stared at his lover. “What?” he asked in confusion. “Mock… I… what are you talking about? I was just being… well trying to be seductive. Your kisses make my blood run so fast in my veins I sometimes feel like I am just going to burst… that was what I was talking about… I… I… are you all right?” Faramir asked pushing away from the wall behind him and reaching out toward Rahl. “You’re so pale… I… Gods…” then it dawned on him what the scars were he’d seen the first night. “When your father died it was fire… Oh Gods, I am so stupid,” Faramir whispered.

Rahl batted Faramir’s hand away then rested his own just above his hip, the very thought of fire making the phantom pain of his scars flare to life as if they’d happened only yesterday. “Fire,” he said in a voice that didn’t sound at all like his own, “is not seductive. It kills and it maims and there is nothing in my world or yours that causes such agony.” Doing his best to get a grip on his emotions, he fisted his hands so hard his fingernails dug into his palms. A thin trail of blood rolled from between his fingers and dropped onto the grass beneath his feet, but he didn’t even seem to notice, he was so lost in the memory of the wizard’s fire scorching his skin. And Faramir, the man he had let get closer than anyone, had somehow found out and was mocking him, perhaps even trying to drive him mad with the memories of the long months he’d spent under the healer’s care as they’d scrubbed and dressed his wounds. He turned on his heel and headed back toward the door they’d emerged from only a few minutes before. “I must go. I cannot stay out here any longer. It is a waste of time.”

Faramir felt tears spring to his eyes when Rahl batted his hand away. All he wanted to do was offer comfort for something he hadn’t meant to do. He swallowed hard at the emotion in his lover’s voice and wanted nothing more than to hold him but Rahl certainly would not allow that. Not now. They had been getting along so well and now he’d ruined everything with a simple slip of his tongue! Faramir wanted to scream but simply stared at Rahl as he backed away from him, looking pained and haunted. As the man disappeared through the doorway, Faramir allowed the sob he was holding to be released and fell to his knees on the soft grass. Why did it hurt him so much to know he’d unintentionally hurt a man who was by all intents holding him as nothing more than a slave? He tried to reason through his tears and heartache that it was because he had always felt a deep empathy and compassion for people but Rahl wasn’t just anyone. Not anymore. Faramir saw him as so much more than a dark wizard, he saw him as a man who had been hurt and hurt badly. Not just physically, he now realized. And with that realization came another one that made him weep even harder… he loved him. As twisted and strange as it was… he loved Darken Rahl.

NB: Please do not distribute (by any means, including email) or repost this story (including translations) without the author's prior permission. [ more ]

Enjoyed this story? Then be sure to let the author know by posting a comment at https://www.faramirfiction.com/fiction/love-is. Positive feedback is what keeps authors writing more stories!