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This story is rated «NC-17», and carries the warnings «Brotherxbrother. Violence. Tiny amount of AU. ».
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If you can't see me as who I am, then why bother? (NC-17) Print

Written by Laivindur

22 April 2012 | 74699 words | Work in Progress

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Chapter 12

A strong sun shone through Boromir’s red silky curtains, and made the giant warrior squint and turn away. He opened his eyes as he got accustomed to the light, and remembered something that made his heart leap of joy. He sat up and looked at his sleeping brother next to him. The sheet, which they used as quilt in the hot summers, was covering the slender man’s hip and legs. He had almost curled into a ball, and snuggled the pillow between his arm and peaceful head.

The cut which had just gotten to heal itself to an extend that made it impossible for faramir to tear it again, was hidden as he was lying sideways.

Boromir had anyway insisted on having his brother stay another night in worry for him tearing it, and was now studying him. Was he dreaming? Boromir wondered. A small cute frown on his brows and the way his mouth tightened made it look like he was pondering about something. Boromir smiled and leaned down to stroke his hair, and spoke gently “Faramir.”

Faramir moved slightly and made a content noise which made it impossible for Boromir not to grab him by the neck and kiss him. Faramir didn’t wake, but blushed by the sudden ecstasy he felt, and placed his arm around Boromir’s waist to press himself closer.

Boromir withdrew from his splendid little brother’s face “How’s your wound?” Without opening his eyes, Faramir answered “Fine. It tingles a bit by the threads, but when they fall off I will be good as new.” He snuggled closer to Boromir’s chest muscles, and sighed in contentment.

Boromir placed a protective arm around him and squeezed him in a tight embrace while resting his cheek on his head. He smelled his younger brother’s scent which would stay the same forever.

The older brother worried for the next time his little one had to go out in battle, but was coping with it, and right now he decided to enjoy the time they had together.

Boromir had made to keep away from Faramir’s weak spots by the time he’d spent in his chambers to heal, and shoved away his yearnings so Faramir could heal perfectly.

He looked forward to explore his brother’s knowledge on sexual matters and smiled down at him. He moved his arm from underneath Faramir’s head to steady his own, and it made the sleepy young man grunt by the sudden movement of his human pillow.
He looked up at a smiling Boromir and muttered “Why do you have to move so much?”
“It is daytime. You must wake.”
Boromir said, too cheerful on Faramir’s account, and smiled just as much still claiming his arm to support his head instead of being Faramir’s pillow. Snuggling deeper into Boromir he muttered once more
“Since when did you get to such a cheer in the morning?”

Boromir laughed and moved to sit to Faramir’s malcontent, and the pestering older brother got his little brother even grumpier as he turned him to face the sun. He frowned and felt his eyes burn by the strong sun as Boromir’s cheerfulness continued

“Since the day you let me in your heart little one.” Boromir kissed Faramir while he was busy blocking for the sun.
The kiss turned to be quite hot, and Faramir forgot about the sun and turned all his attention to the demanding warrior on top of him.

Faramir moaned before pushing Boromir away to breath. He smiled as Boromir kept on kissing his neck and caressing the other side of it with his fingers
“You have always been in my heart, Boromir.”

Boromir decided to go a bit further and went down his collarbone with inquired kisses and licks. Faramir moaned with closed lips as he sucked on it and turned fiercer on the kissing. When he went lower to close in on Faramir’s nipple, Faramir grabbed the elder brother by the sturdy shoulders and prepared for whatever his brother might give him.
Faramir arched his back and clenched his eyes by the intense thrill when Boromir stimulated his nipple with his experienced tongue. He was about to moan quite loud by the intense pleasure his brother gave upon him, but made it to a whimper afraid someone might hear. He’d never felt this kind of pleasure, and thought he’d go crazy by it all.

He panted heavily by the sensation, and whilst his chest moved in a rhythm Boromir found quite encouraging, the brother kept on. After torturing his little brother some more, he got up with a smile and with Faramir having so many questions without managing to utter a single word, the older brother grinned.

He wanted something from him, but didn’t quite know what to ask for. He moved his hands from the brawny shoulders to his neck and pulled him closer, which Boromir took as an invitation to a deep passionate kiss.

Faramir explored Boromir’s loving mouth, and wanted the kiss to last forever. Boromir grabbed the sheet and drew it off to toss it on the floor, and it revealed Faramir’s gracious young body only wearing dark brown night trousers with an even darker rope as belt around its waist. The older man smirked at the forged knot a soothing pace from the navel.

Boromir stroke his hand dreamingly down Faramir’s waist and smiled while stopping at his hip to let his thumb caress the little amount of hair beneath the navel, which guided him in the exact direction he had in mind.
He placed his legs between Faramir’s, and spread them by spreading his, and then he grabbed him from under his arms and shoulders to press into a deeper kiss.

Faramir felt the blood rush while he was totally submerged in Boromir’s loving captivity. The powerful arms held him and the bigger body pressed him to the mattress. The younger brother explored this new feeling of safety in someone’s loving embrace while letting the older touch places none usual did. He had sometimes been lying beneath his brother with his legs spread like this, but under completely different circumstances.

One of the times they had been wrestling, Boromir had lifted Faramir off the ground and let them both fall onto the soft grass. Even though this was a game of fighting, Faramir had felt comfortable with his elder brother on top of him and only smiled by the loss of the fight. Boromir at the time had loved it too, but would soon feel uncomfortable, taken his worries in mind, and gone off his brother as quickly as possible.

It was rather nice for Faramir to feel the same as then, but as the feelings got stronger and onto different places he could not help it but letting fright emerge. Boromir could tell by the whimper and trembling as he gave thrusts at him.

Boromir had started quite aggressive, so he calmed down with light kisses on his lips and face. Faramir seemed to enjoy it more and more, and as he moaned shortly by a deep and strong kiss, Boromir flipped over once again.

In his bigger brother’s clenching quite sexy embrace, which was no way out off, Faramir spoke between outbursts of pleasure as Boromir had started once more on the fierce claiming “Aah, Boromir. Do you… want me to tell you a secret?”
Boromir gave a last passionate kiss right beside Faramir’s nipple before looking at him “Yes, do tell.”

Faramir gave a foxy smile “Very often I lost on purpose just to get you on top of me.” Boromir smiled with both lips and eyes. He puffed through his nose and stroked his fingers through Faramir’s hair and let his thumb caress the forehead. He let the hand continue seductively downwards to his cheek and chin; he had no words to speak as he tried to understand this weird little brother of his.

Faramir shivered by the warm touch, and moved the notch he could while trying to push Boromir away “I don’t think…” Boromir interrupted with a thrust at his crotch which made him moan and face away with a strong blush.

Boromir’s mouth craved his neck as it had been presented for him: He spoke with Faramir moaning in between “Please do not speak of how we have to end this… just to go on with our silly and…mm… stupid lives”
Faramir tried once more, making the first word a bit louder than intended “Brother, what if…mm… the servants…ahh”
Boromir groaned “If a servant dares to interrupt this I’ll kill him.”

Still trying to push his lusty brother away and even though he had started on his nipple once more, Faramir made to speak “I’m sure you would do a fine job killing that servant, but how would you answer for yourself…”
he let out a loud moan by the sensational thrust his brother gave to his arousal, and after a few breathtaking kisses and moans, he got himself together and continued

“…how would you answer for yourself after that servant had gone missing by the other…” Boromir hurried to stand on all four above his panting brother, which made Faramir end it with a last sigh “…people.”

Boromir frowned grumpy at the headboard and stood heavy like a statue above his panting brother.
“I love you, dear brother, and I would love to stay here with you, but we have to go on with our other lives too. If we stay missing, and people would keep finding us in our bedrooms, they would start to wonder and ask questions” He paused to breathe
“We took upon ourselves this tormenting secret, and no matter how high our love is, the world is not going to accept it, and perhaps not give us time to fulfill its cravings.”

“You sure have thought this through more than me, little one. I have been dreaming myself away and thought I could send everyone all away to be alone with you. But as I get back to my senses I see that is not possible. I can’t just send everyone away…”
He laughed at himself
“…they will stay here and demand whatever it might be.”
By that he sat back by the bed board with a malcontent sigh.

Faramir’s cut hurt still, so he used his hands to support his way up to sit. Boromir stared bluntly on the floor and was too depressed to give thought to anything else but the bittersweet love.

“Do not be sad Boromir; be glad we get to expose our feelings to each other at least this much. We are close, we live close. I am not saying it is impossible, I am just saying we have to be careful and subtle.”
Boromir gave his little brother an askew smile and stroke his leg.

“As usual you speak wiser and much more prudent than me, little one.”
Faramir felt his lust after Boromir still, but glared timidly at the carpet. Boromir also felt linger of lust and leant forward to kiss Faramir to let the wonderful sounds and scents spring forth once more from him, to make him blush once more.

Just when Faramir turned expectant to his closing brother, the door opened.
The horrifying sound of the handle made its way through the room and both brothers could hear the wood creak its warning too late. Faramir saw his whole life flash before him as Boromir was closing in on him, but just then, Boromir proved himself the great hero he was; he quickly made the closing kiss to look like he was about to rise up.

And he did, right before touching Faramir’s lips; he rose like nothing was going on. Faramir stared in front of him where the end of his life just had been.
Boromir walked out on the floor to pick up his shirt when he saw his father close the door with a minor concern on his usual rough face. Faramir’s chest tightened at the sight of him, and only met his father’s gaze for two seconds before looking away. As Boromir bent down to pick up the shirt he spoke to give Faramir time.

“Good morning father. Have you come to give me a date with another lass have you?”
Denethor laughed by his happy firstborn, without noticing his second son sitting petrified in the bed not daring to face any of them

“No I have not. I am actually here to see how Faramir is doing.”
Faramir looked surprised at his father, and followed him with disbelief as he made his way around the bed to sit by his side. The steward frowned at the sheet which was lying on the floor. He looked at both while speaking
“What have you two been doing?” Faramir looked away as his father’s grey piercing eyes met his. Denethor looked at Boromir which looked rather innocent

“What, we just woke up. What do you mean, father?” The father shook his head thinking the night had been hot in this summer and that they had tossed the sheet off in their sleep like some rebelling children. He placed his hand on Faramir’s leg while sitting by the bed, smiling

“I see your cut has healed, and you look well. I reckon you are ready to tend to your duties today.”
Faramir took a short glance at him just to answer “Yes, father.” and turned his gaze to the bed again in hope that he would be left by that.
Denethor tapped his leg “Good, good.”

Boromir picked up the rest of his clothes, using it as a diversion to the bad news that struck his mind; now Faramir had to leave again. He was about to walk to the bath place when Denethor rose and spoke to him
“Boromir, It’s nice of you to tend to your brother while healing, but these lingering mornings are not to be repeated” Boromir nodded frantically and saw Faramir’s lugubrious face turn wary as Denethor turned to him
“Is that understood?”

Faramir nodded more graceful than Boromir, and murmured
“Yes, father.” Then he raised his chin and spoke strict

“Are there any services I can do for you after I have dressed and perhaps before I leave?” He had forced his eyes on him by raising his chin, and his voice made chills down Boromir’s spine.

The elder brother was lost by the sudden change in his little one; his voice had changed to the strictness of a soldier, and he had listened if the warm and compassionate voice was still present, and he sighed inwards when it was, but this grieved him nonetheless.

He could only stand and watch as his emotions and thoughts rolled through him, and tried to picture the awful things he had learned about his father’s treatments of his precious little one.

He could now see the actual reason why Faramir feared their father this much. A sudden understanding to it all made him stand petrified right there on the floor with his hand tightly grasping the shirt. It was almost like he was waiting for anything to happen right before his eyes, but Denethor spoke like he always had done and he didn’t seem to threat Faramir in any way.

As Denethor’s orders to his youngest son fled past Boromir’s ears, he studied his little brother’s nods and answers; his cute small lips which spoke as if a respected captain glistened still red from the earlier kisses. None other than Boromir could see the small trembling of fear in them as they uttered ‘yes’ or ‘understood’.

“Are you still standing there?” Boromir woke by his father’s words, and looked at him harsher than intended as his mind pictured itself in the adult face. His frown and dark gaze still lingered his face, and Denethor made to give his son a confused and suspicious glare before the firstborn could hide his accusations and looked away as he walked to the bath, embarrassed.

Denethor spoke “I will see you later then.”

Boromir answered shortly from inside the room, and Faramir stood up to dress. When Denethor left and closed the door, Boromir opened the door from the bath and checked if he was really gone. When he saw Faramir search for clothes in his dresser, he walked to his little brother while trying to gain eye contact, but when Faramir’s eyes would not meet his, he hugged him and snuggled on his shoulder while speaking softly
“I hate that you must leave again.” Faramir’s body was soft, but he felt the same stiffness as the first time he’d kissed him. He let go to look at him; he was just as delicate and shining, but his eyes were changed. His voice sounded fiercer than earlier when he spoke

“This is what we must go through, brother. This is what I was talking about earlier. I can’t believe how close we were to be caught” Boromir got startled by the barking, but the softness seemed to be there whether Faramir wanted or not
“and by father, himself!”
Boromir looked sad at his scared brother, and whispered, afraid he’d make his brother more upset
“Fara.”
Faramir leant away on the dark dresser while grasping tight around his white shirt. Boromir looked at the scars on the muscular and slender back and felt an uncomfortable sting in his own. The punishment for being with the same sex were many; some of them flogging, and sometimes until death.

Boromir held around him. Faramir was still leaning on the desk and ostentatiously he didn’t hug back, or revealed any feelings towards his brother. It hurt his heart as he kept it cold and untouchable as he always did when talking to his father. Boromir retreated as Faramir pushed him gently away and spoke softer
“Please, don’t make this any harder than it already is, loving brother.” Boromir watched him pull on his shirt and walk out the door without a single glance at him.

NB: Please do not distribute (by any means, including email) or repost this story (including translations) without the author's prior permission. [ more ]

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4 Comment(s)

Why no comments yet, I wonder. This is a wonderfully complex story with equal measures of drama, emotion, and humour. Especially liked Denethor’s memories of Boromir teasing Faramir through the years. Hope you’ll continue. Cheers!

— LN Tora    Wednesday 14 March 2012, 20:59    #

Yey, thank you! I will continue :) So tune up for more ^^

— Laivindur    Thursday 15 March 2012, 21:44    #

Oh…my…gosh… this story is amazing! I read it straight through, beginning with chapter one and halting at chapter fifteen. I look forward so much to your next update! This is very well written, and though there are a few grammatical errors here and there, it is nothing that distracts from the story.

Waiting in anticipation…

An Avid Reader.

— AvidReader    Saturday 28 April 2012, 5:49    #

Oooh, thank you so much for that encouraging comment :D I’m glad you don’t feel the grammar destroys your story experience, pewh!
I am actually going through it over again to correct and add :)
Thank yuo so much! Much appreciated!!

— Laivindur    Monday 30 April 2012, 15:57    #

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