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That which you can never have (NC-17) Print

Written by Anorienbean

24 April 2007 | 23005 words

[ all pages ]

Chapter 15

Faramir and Haldir settled into their new lives quite happily. The first thing Haldir did was make his lover a new moving chair. This one was sturdier and more ornate, and while their talan was small, and a bit cramped, it at least served to get Faramir from the bed to the small balcony so he could bask in the sunlight to his heart’s content.

Haldir’s days were spent building a new talan, this one on the ground. Their new home was larger and much like one of the houses Faramir had so often dreamed of living in. He had only seen them from his window, of course, but every day, he would imagine what they looked like inside, and how lucky their occupants were to have a place of their own.

Every day, Haldir would lower Faramir’s chair to the ground, then gently carry him down the steps, and place him in it so they could tour their new home. The golden Elf spent countless hours getting Faramir to draw what he had imagined, and he did his best to make the talan as much like his lover’s dreams as possible. After only a few days, other Elves stopped by to see what their Marchwarden was up to, building such a structure that wasn’t nestled safely in the trees. After meeting Faramir, however, they understood, and almost all of them stayed to help.

The Elves were charmed by Faramir, who was slowly coming out of his shell. At first, he rarely spoke to Haldir’s friends, but when he saw they truly seemed interested in hearing his thoughts and ideas, and weren’t simply speaking to him out of courtesy, he began to tentatively express an opinion, and was rewarded with the knowledge that for the first time in his life, he was learning how to make friends.

Every night, Faramir and Haldir would curl up together in bed and drift off to sleep safe in one another’s arms. Some nights they would make love, but on the nights they didn’t, Faramir could sense that Haldir was just as happy to hold him as they fell asleep. It was a heady, incredible feeling for him when he finally realized that though Haldir cherished his body, he also cherished Faramir’s mind and heart as well.

The only dark shadow in Faramir’s heart was that he thought often of his brother, and lamented the fact that he would never really know him. He grew close to Haldir’s brothers, Rúmil and Orophin, but he often wondered what it would be like to have a family of his own.

Little did he know, he was about to find out.


Boromir had returned to Gondor, furious at his father for ordering him to kill his own brother. The few precious moments he had spent with Faramir would never be enough, and after weeks of avoiding Denethor and never quite getting over his anger, Boromir packed his belongings and left the only city he had ever called home. He had no idea where he would go, or what he would do. He knew only that he could never serve a man who would disown his own son, and tell the world that he was dead, simply because he was not like everyone else.

He longed to see Faramir, but knew that Haldir, for all his protectiveness, would never allow him to get close to his little brother. Boromir did not like the Elf, and knew the feeling was mutual. Still, he had no other place to go, and hoped that he could visit with Faramir for a few days before he had to move on.


The trip to the Golden Wood was long and tedious, especially since Boromir knew he would not be welcomed. As soon as he stepped foot into her borders, an Elf that looked much like Haldir appeared at his side, holding a small dagger against his throat. Boromir dropped his weapons, asked for Faramir, and was surprised to see the golden creature sheath his knife and, though he received more than a few suspicious looks from the Elves that suddenly surrounded him, he was taken to Haldir’s talan.

As they got closer, Boromir was startled to see what looked like a small house. His escort, Orophin, stopped and called out to Haldir, who came to the door at once, hair disheveled and face flushed as he tightened the lacings of his breeches. He stopped short when he saw the Man his brother had escorted to him. “You!” He narrowed his eyes and looked Boromir over from head to toe. “Why are you here?”

“I wished only to see Faramir for a short while,” Boromir said defensively. “Then I will be on my way.” As he spoke, he looked around him at the structure behind Haldir and couldn’t hide his curiosity. “What is this place?”

“It is our home,” Haldir snapped. “Obviously it is easier for Faramir if we live on the ground, rather than in a tree.”

“Haldir? Who’s there?” Faramir’s voice came from behind Haldir, who paused only a moment before answering. He didn’t want Boromir to stay, but his love for the Man inside the living quarters behind him overrode any jealousy or anger that he might have, and he knew he could deny Faramir nothing.

“It is… your brother.”

A soft gasp could be heard from inside the small house followed by the sound of movement. A moment later, Faramir, eyes shining brightly and looking healthier and happier than Boromir had remembered, wheeled through the doorway. “You… Boromir. You’re… here?”

“Aye. I wanted…”

“He will be staying in our old talan for a while,” Haldir interrupted smoothly, loathe to say anything that would take the smile from Faramir’s dear face.

Boromir was as startled as Faramir, and looked at Haldir in astonishment. “I will?”

“Aye.” With that, Haldir moved behind his lover and pushed his chair carefully out the door. Boromir went to Faramir at once and gave him an awkward hug. The tension was obvious to everyone but Faramir, who was simply happy to see the brother he was sure he would never lay eyes on again. “Welcome to Lothlórien, Boromir,” Haldir muttered as he went back inside their new home.

NB: Please do not distribute (by any means, including email) or repost this story (including translations) without the author's prior permission. [ more ]

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5 Comment(s)

so achingly beautiful. I loved every second and every word.

— Casandra    Wednesday 25 April 2007, 2:54    #

I read myself through the entire story and have to say; I love it!

— Suryallee    Friday 27 April 2007, 18:26    #

How wonderful! I really loved it!

Ria    Friday 7 March 2008, 2:03    #

awwee what a great fic!! i soo loved the happy ending!

— babs    Friday 14 March 2008, 3:39    #

I read the whole story! And I lost track of the time I didn’t ever realize it was 5am until I watched the computer’s clock!!! I can’t believe I spent so much time reading the story but it was worth it. It was such touching AU!! Poor Faramir he suffered al his life until he met Haldir, that was so beautiful how Haldir helped him. It was incredible but I don’t think I can sleep now thinking in the whole story! However it doesn’t matter because I’m still on holiday :) It was wonderful I loved it! There are so many wonderful stories you have! I want to read them all hehe I’m too greedy to let them there without reading them :) By the way it surprised me to see Boromir with Lord Celeborn but as Faramir says they are in love hehe Thank you for such wonderful job.

— LoretoW    Thursday 25 March 2010, 7:52    #

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